03-29-2012, 01:39 PM | #21 |
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There were a ton of butches when I lived in San Francisco, but there seem to be only about 10 of them in Vancouver- and most of them are quite a bit older than me (I'm 29). Probably the whole dying-breed thing depends on geography, and maybe generation.
Luckily for me I like older butches. Ha! |
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03-29-2012, 02:03 PM | #22 |
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To me there are more Butches then Femmes where I live. That's another reason why I'm still single.
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03-29-2012, 02:07 PM | #23 |
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And where, pray tell, are you at?
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03-29-2012, 02:07 PM | #24 |
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I dont think butches are a dying breed. I also dont believe there is a "small group of radical feminists trying to perpetuate this myth". In my experience, it seems we have been blessed with a wider variety of options not only in sex, gender, and orientations but in the multitude of ways in which these are expressed. This freedom, it seems, has changed the landscape into something not so easily identifiable and/or congruent with our own defintions and preferences. It's neither good nor bad. It's just different from the traditionally held norms.
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03-29-2012, 02:12 PM | #25 | |
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So would someone please send me the directions to the more butchly populated locations? I have a GPS.
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03-29-2012, 02:14 PM | #26 |
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I think that I'm blind to the Femmes in NH. I think they all look straight to me and I do attract straight women which boggles my mind. It's always been a problem since I was young. I'm still trying to figure it out. I even asked one time because I really wanted to know what I did to do that.
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03-29-2012, 02:16 PM | #27 | |
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Maybe different colored ones for different outfits. Ooh! We could make bracelets or some other pretty accessory! I love accessories.
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03-29-2012, 02:21 PM | #28 |
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Where I live I've heard bf people complain there are way more femmes than butches, forgetting that most of the ''femmes'' they're looking at aren't self-identified femmes at all, they are just lesbians who happen to look feminine.
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03-29-2012, 02:21 PM | #29 | |
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i wonder if it's partly a generational thing. i feel like younger folks are less likely to know what butch or femme mean and less likely to identify that way...i have a lot of femme friends who are around the age of 30 but less that are around my own age or younger. i do know a lot of bois and studs in this age range but unfortunately none of them live near me, hehe. i agree that it could also have something to do with the fact that there's more of a range of options nowadays in terms of expressing one's gender. i also feel like social conceptions of what lesbians and queer women should look like have changed to the point that maybe people are uncomfortable expressing themselves unless they fit the androgynous and/or lipstick norms? maybe i'm talking out of my ass here, i'm just thinking out loud.
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03-29-2012, 02:22 PM | #30 |
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yes this!!! thank you for posting this.
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03-29-2012, 02:32 PM | #31 | |
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Ok this is an example of where terminology and Kobi's lesbian oriented brain disconnect. Can you explain this to me in a way I might get what you are saying?
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03-29-2012, 02:51 PM | #32 |
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Femme - is a gender ID
Lesbian - is a sexual orientation Lesbians have traditionally all tried to look like each other in order to be visible or did bf, which was a sexual dynamic. In places where homosexuality is becoming normalised, so are lesbians. So more lesbians are looking mainstream and more straight women are looking gay, ie: no more lesbian 'look'.
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03-29-2012, 03:12 PM | #33 | |
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Thank you. That I understood.
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03-29-2012, 03:35 PM | #34 | |
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"Lesbians have traditionally all tried to look like each other in order to be visible or did bf, which was a sexual dynamic" Maybe I am being too picky. I don't know how long ago you mean by "traditionally", but if you go back to say the 1960's, 1950's, and before, (the pre-Stonewall years), all lesbians were butch or femme, that was that. Butch/femme wasn't a subset of LGBTQ, or a sexual dynamic. (LGBTQ didn't exist) Lesbian and b/f were one in the same. (Lee Lynch, my favorite author, has written wonderful books about this) So we weren't all trying to look the same back then. If you were a lesbian, you were either butch or femme, period. OK, I'll shut up now. I'll stop being such a librarian about it.
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03-29-2012, 04:03 PM | #35 | |
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03-29-2012, 04:03 PM | #36 | ||
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03-29-2012, 04:07 PM | #37 |
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It sure would make it easier on me if Femmes put a big old "F" on their forehead so I could spot them!
I grew up in the rainbow/Lambda era. I can spot a rainbow at 100 meters! Problem there is many see the rainbow differently from B-F dynamic. We need a logo of some sort....There seems to be one form many id's and genders. We need to start a trend Way back when I wore a ring with the 2 women symbols... Of course, it isn't hard for Femmes to see that I am a Butch( of the OFOS variety and that is almost extinct!). But, if a Femme were wearing it, I would know she were Femme
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03-29-2012, 05:23 PM | #38 |
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No, we're not dying out.
What I think is happening, like others have already expressed, is that there has been a reordering of sorts. Not in a hierarchical sense but in a fluidity sense. There are far fewer of us butches who claim the ID of butch. The energy is still there, there's no mistaking that. The labels are changing in our community, and there are far more choices in labeling oneself than there were 10 or even 5 years ago. With change comes restructure. With restructuring comes a new vocabulary, be that good, bad or indifferent. |
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03-29-2012, 06:15 PM | #39 |
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Princess..........the color (light pink) you use is very hard to read....just so you know....
--------------------- No butch is not a dying breed. If you live in the SF Bay Area you can join ButchFemme Socials yahoo group and our website (my sig line). We have been doing Socials (Yes a Social where you talk to each other without loud music) in SF and Oakland for about 12 years now and it's still going strong. Or if you are coming to town let me or Rope know the dates and we will have a little get together so you can meet folks.....butch, femme, lesbian, pansexual, queer....we are very inclusive. I have seen a bunch of 'isms' and 'myths' in this thread. It ranges from radical lesbian feminists to impostor butch to old school is dying to traditionally lesbians all dress/look alike to butch/femme is a hetero-normative dynamic to using he when generally referencing a butch to back in the day you had to be butch or femme to......well you get the picture. Perhaps there is a grain of truth to some of these, but most of them are very broad generalizations. I know there are plenty of folks who ID as butch in the Bay Area, and there are plenty who run butch energy but don't claim it as an identity. I think folks see what they want to see. If you want to find butch folks (or femme folks), then find some target rich environments.....first thing is get out of the bar. If you live in a larger town or city there are plenty of places you might find butches....film festivals/art gallery opening that feature queer artists, the local queer/womens bookstore (though these are getting harder to find), readings at bookstores, eating in the local gay area, the grocery store in the gay area.....in Oakland some dykes started a wear purple or was it green on tuesday evenings at Whole Foods... GLBT night at the baseball/football games, go women's sports games at the local college or WNBA.....looking for butch (or femme) only in a bar/club is not really going to get you anywhere most of the time. that's my nickel on the subject.......
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We are everywhere We are different I do not care if resistance is futile I will not assimilate Last edited by Toughy; 03-29-2012 at 06:19 PM. |
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03-29-2012, 06:21 PM | #40 | |
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Well, you have Dinah this weekend--You should probably see more than a few.
I have to agree with Starry, I think there's plenty of butches in San Diego--When we're out Q frequently spots them trying to give me the eye. (Whereas, I never look about, ever.) Though, I must say your use of the word, 'imposters' is a curious choice. Quote:
Last edited by apretty; 03-29-2012 at 06:23 PM. |
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