Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > GENDER AND IDENTITY > Other Sexualities And Identities

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-08-2013, 03:19 AM   #1
imperfect_cupcake
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
feminine dolly dyke
Preferred Pronoun?:
Your Grace
Relationship Status:
I put my own care first
 
imperfect_cupcake's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In a gauze of mystery
Posts: 1,776
Thanks: 2,426
Thanked 9,778 Times in 1,613 Posts
Rep Power: 21474847
imperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputation
Default top or dom/me, sub or bottom

I didn't capitolise cause I don't do on line stuff and refuse to. sorry. However, the question is, I've been asked to articulate the difference.
I personally know the difference to ME... but I suspect that the difference is not across the board. I like more mind-fuck power games and being objectified and frankly I hate making any decisions in bed so when I'm on the power giver side of the equation, I'm more of a submissive, fuck doll rather than a bottom.

And plently of people have told me they were tops and I slept with them expecting a dominant and that's not what I was met with. They were certainly tops though.

I also work from the dominant top side of things and have met with dominant bottoms, which I either fight with (fun!) or I turn into a submissive top. depending on my mood. Hard to explain to people.

how would you explain the difference to someone who isn't into BDSM in term of scenes or whips or play parties or dungeons or... they are kinky and do power exchange but they aren't into leather or lifestyle. what those words mean? the difference between them?

they are label adverse so I'm doing my best to keep it simple. You know how in 101 you learn sort of basic terminology and general ideas that in 400 levels you find out aren't actually true? That.
imperfect_cupcake is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to imperfect_cupcake For This Useful Post:
Old 07-11-2013, 10:12 AM   #2
MsTinkerbelly
Timed Out - TOS Drama

How Do You Identify?:
...
Preferred Pronoun?:
...
 
MsTinkerbelly's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ...
Posts: 6,573
Thanks: 30,679
Thanked 23,260 Times in 5,040 Posts
Rep Power: 0
MsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST ReputationMsTinkerbelly Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybarbara View Post
I didn't capitolise cause I don't do on line stuff and refuse to. sorry. However, the question is, I've been asked to articulate the difference.
I personally know the difference to ME... but I suspect that the difference is not across the board. I like more mind-fuck power games and being objectified and frankly I hate making any decisions in bed so when I'm on the power giver side of the equation, I'm more of a submissive, fuck doll rather than a bottom.

And plently of people have told me they were tops and I slept with them expecting a dominant and that's not what I was met with. They were certainly tops though.

I also work from the dominant top side of things and have met with dominant bottoms, which I either fight with (fun!) or I turn into a submissive top. depending on my mood. Hard to explain to people.

how would you explain the difference to someone who isn't into BDSM in term of scenes or whips or play parties or dungeons or... they are kinky and do power exchange but they aren't into leather or lifestyle. what those words mean? the difference between them?

they are label adverse so I'm doing my best to keep it simple. You know how in 101 you learn sort of basic terminology and general ideas that in 400 levels you find out aren't actually true? That.
Thank you for this thread, and I hope more people will share their experiences and thoughts.

I read all of the BDSM threads, not to have you all educate me because I'm lazy and can't do it myself, but because you're real people with real lives, and somehow it makes it easier for me to understand something that I have never been exposed to myself.

Anyhoo...thank you
MsTinkerbelly is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to MsTinkerbelly For This Useful Post:
Old 07-12-2013, 03:53 PM   #3
DapperButch
Roadster Guy

How Do You Identify?:
FTM, Stone Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
He
 
DapperButch's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northeast
Posts: 7,745
Thanks: 26,545
Thanked 26,984 Times in 5,776 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854
DapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST ReputationDapperButch Has the BEST Reputation
Default

*Bumping* a good topic
__________________
-Dapper
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Are you educated or indoctrinated?
DapperButch is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DapperButch For This Useful Post:
Old 07-12-2013, 05:09 PM   #4
Loren_Q
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Loren. If you want to know about me, just ask.
Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her, but I'm not that picky.
Relationship Status:
it's complicated...
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 115
Thanks: 73
Thanked 574 Times in 108 Posts
Rep Power: 4035337
Loren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST ReputationLoren_Q Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Yeah... not always easy to explain. Okay, the 101 view

Loosely speaking tops/dominants would drive whatever action would occur, bottoms/submissives follow (or receive).

But there are nuances.

If it's SM play, the top would wield the implement, the bottom receives it. In a power dynamic the dominant controls/has authority, the submissive is controlled.

However, I know sadistic tops who are sexually submissive. I know dominant masochists ("You'll hurt me this way").

And sex? It's whatever is comfortable for the individual.

If speaking in general terms, I tend to lump dominants, sadists (drivers) into "top" and submissives, masochists (receivers) into "bottom". If speaking in a leather or BDSM environment I use narrower terms: top/bottom for physical play and dominant/submissive for power dynamic. And then there's the whole Master/slave combination...

I do prefer to use dominant or dom and not domme, because dominant (like top) isn't gender specific and domme is a made up asb usenet thing.

That's my take.
__________________
Loren

"Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power."
Oscar Wilde
Loren_Q is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Loren_Q For This Useful Post:
Old 07-12-2013, 07:35 PM   #5
imperfect_cupcake
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
feminine dolly dyke
Preferred Pronoun?:
Your Grace
Relationship Status:
I put my own care first
 
imperfect_cupcake's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In a gauze of mystery
Posts: 1,776
Thanks: 2,426
Thanked 9,778 Times in 1,613 Posts
Rep Power: 21474847
imperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputation
Default

/aside -
Domme is no longer asb made up term - I worked (and still occasionally) as a Pro-Domme. And the word Domme is used, in Real life, in the flesh, canada and the UK escort sex work (if that's where it came from?), and I used to go to Femmedomme nights at pansexual blah blah things. So the word has been out there for a good 10-12 years, in the flesh. And made up words do make the leap into regular language too ("LOL" etc... now something people say in person).

/tangential opinion

I see top as do'er, active, yes. rather then, controller. I was trying to get that clarity from people who didn't have the langauge and finding it difficult.

no longer, at the moment, as I'm taking a break from everything, but it's not easy to articulate.

anyone else have a different take? anyone ID as a top, rather than a dominant? and why?
imperfect_cupcake is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to imperfect_cupcake For This Useful Post:
Old 10-03-2017, 06:05 PM   #6
Deborah*
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Relationship Status:
single and not looking
 
Deborah*'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 354
Thanks: 304
Thanked 420 Times in 179 Posts
Rep Power: 2658949
Deborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST ReputationDeborah* Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Bottom. I remember dating this woman who made love to me, then she said 'my turn' and I wasn't very interested. I'm really not very interested.

Deborah
Deborah* is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Deborah* For This Useful Post:
Old 10-03-2017, 07:31 PM   #7
*Anya*
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her
Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
Posts: 8,258
Thanks: 39,306
Thanked 40,943 Times in 7,306 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853
*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I am not a sub and I am not a dominant (or a domme).

Sometimes I bottom and sometimes I top.

I enjoy both immensely.

It is never a "my turn" thing and I would not be very interested in sex being a "take turns" kind of interaction.

I totally enjoy the give and take, in a sensual, pleasuring, hot sex kind of way.

I absolutely love making love to a woman.

I guess that is my way of being a lesbian.

Identity is not a "one size fits all" kind of thing to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deborah* View Post
Bottom. I remember dating this woman who made love to me, then she said 'my turn' and I wasn't very interested. I'm really not very interested.

Deborah
__________________
~Anya~


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



Democracy Dies in Darkness

~Washington Post


"...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parentsí actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable."

UN Human Rights commissioner
*Anya* is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to *Anya* For This Useful Post:
Old 10-04-2017, 02:15 AM   #8
cathexis
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
GQ Sensualist/Constitutional Socialist
Preferred Pronoun?:
Neutral, male/Sir Bitch
Relationship Status:
submissive only to the Alpha in our pack 25 yrs
 
cathexis's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Great White North!
Posts: 3,788
Thanks: 15,846
Thanked 4,350 Times in 1,454 Posts
Rep Power: 21474843
cathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputationcathexis Has the BEST Reputation
Default

When starting in SM, I was Top and Top only until I met someone with true Alpha energy. I am now a very spoiled submissive masochist to my long term Dominant. Somewhat of a "pillow princess" or "do me queen" most of the time.

Outside of that D/s power exchange relationship, I am quite Dominant. My Dom and I came up with a term for it...Dominant masochist.

I rarely Top scenes at home anymore unless requested by my Dom. In play parties or dungeons, I always Top.

What can I say? Enjoy control, but also endorphins. Got to lose control to get those wonderful endorphins or the rare coveted subspace.
cathexis is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to cathexis For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:14 AM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018