What makes a Butch "Butch"

Morgan · 05-02-2012, 09:44 PM

I have thought about this for a while and would like to hear from others on what they think makes a Butch "Butch".

Is it the walk, the talk, the swagger, the clothes or is it something inside...

Can a Butch dress like a Femme and still be butch inside or is that just to weird? I know plenty of Femmes' who can fix a car or do manual labor. Who can put on a pair of jeans and t-shirt and look just as butch as some butches, but can a Butch put on a dress and heels, go out for a night on the town and still be a butch?

I believe they can, because it is not what is on the outside, but what is on the inside....

I would love to hear from others on this subject.

Hell maybe I will try this experiment just to see...."no pictures please".

blush · 05-02-2012, 09:49 PM

His huge cock

*waiting for Lady Snow*

Goofy · 05-02-2012, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

His huge cock

*waiting for Lady Snow*

Really baby?

This is what happens when I spend too much time studying

Corkey · 05-02-2012, 09:55 PM

Repeat after me, clothes do not make the person.
Now go write it a thousand times.

blush · 05-02-2012, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goofy

Really baby?

This is what happens when I spend too much time studying

No, not REALLY, and you have studying too much!

The_Lady_Snow · 05-02-2012, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

His huge cock

*waiting for Lady Snow*

I would of said

Her...

Toughy · 05-02-2012, 10:10 PM

by definition butch = female masculinity and the ability to fight (and loose gracefully) Snow over who has the biggest cock...........

aishah · 05-02-2012, 10:28 PM

i hate identity policing. i tend to take people on their word based on how they self-identify. to me, the clothes should not make the butch anymore than they make the femme, but i think femmes have a lot more freedom in wearing clothing that's traditionally considered "masculine" than butches do in terms of how we are treated at least. i've been told i'm not "not femme enough" plenty of times, but i feel like there's even more of a stigma against a butch dressing in ways that are deemed "feminine."

i like the idea of butch as female masculinity, but i also know many trans* male-id'ed folks who identify as butch (including my partner) and definitely don't identify with "female."

to me, femme is queer/subversive feminine identity. i know a lot of folks don't necessarily like the word queer, but in the sense of "not heteronormative" or "self-defined" or "radical" or "subversive" i think queer masculinity might also be one way of understanding butch. i know some people feel that butch and femme are gender identities and some people feel they are performative (and so there are normative ways to perform them)...for me, i see them as identities that can be performed in any way - so what you wear doesn't necessarily change the id.

edited - i just realized this is in the butch zone, i hope it's okay that i've posted here. apologies if i am speaking out of turn. <3

bright_arrow · 05-02-2012, 10:31 PM

I think part of it is the outside appearance. We judge, observe, based on what we see. While that does not make a person, sometimes it is what we base perceptions off of.

When I think of the word 'butch', the way they walk come to mind. You know what I mean, right? 'The walk'. Something about it just makes my heart beat a little faster

When it comes to my partner, it's a multitude of looks, of actions, that make her butch. Does she dress masculine? Yes. From the tips of her cowboy boots to her baggy jeans, to the Skoal can in her back pocket. Button-down men's shirt with a tie, cowboy hat sitting just so. It's the way she drawls "Hey gorgeous", the way her lips turn up when she smiles at me, the smouldering look in her eyes when we make love. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when we go to bed at night, the caress of her fingertips on my face when she brushes my hair back, the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd. It's the loving way she brings me dinner to work, the "I love you" text messages throughout the day, the spontaneous love notes. I realize some of this do not 'mean' butch - they mean love, a partner - but it's what makes my partner 'my butch'.. so it counts, right?

*smiles*

musicman · 05-03-2012, 04:51 AM

Nothing MAKES me butch I just am. It's what I have always been. If you put a dress on me I'd still be butch. I'd just be a really bad drag queen.

Musicman

girl_dee · 05-03-2012, 05:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musicman

Nothing MAKES me butch I just am. It's what I have always been. If you put a dress on me I'd still be butch. I'd just be a really bad drag queen.

Musicman

THIS.

It's like asking a tree what makes it a tree.

firegal · 05-03-2012, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musicman

Nothing MAKES me butch I just am. It's what I have always been. If you put a dress on me I'd still be butch. I'd just be a really bad drag queen.

Musicman

I,m with you on the bad drag queen,My past partners/gf,s have all loooked so damn sexy in my shirts... but i,m thinking that me in theirs might not get the same reaction.Their is humor in this statement but also i really believe it has some truth to it.

bright_arrow · 05-03-2012, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desd

I think part of it is the outside appearance. We judge, observe, based on what we see. While that does not make a person, sometimes it is what we base perceptions off of.

When I think of the word 'butch', the way they walk come to mind. You know what I mean, right? 'The walk'. Something about it just makes my heart beat a little faster

When it comes to my partner, it's a multitude of looks, of actions, that make her butch. Does she dress masculine? Yes. From the tips of her cowboy boots to her baggy jeans, to the Skoal can in her back pocket. Button-down men's shirt with a tie, cowboy hat sitting just so. It's the way she drawls "Hey gorgeous", the way her lips turn up when she smiles at me, the smouldering look in her eyes when we make love. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when we go to bed at night, the caress of her fingertips on my face when she brushes my hair back, the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd. It's the loving way she brings me dinner to work, the "I love you" text messages throughout the day, the spontaneous love notes. I realize some of this do not 'mean' butch - they mean love, a partner - but it's what makes my partner 'my butch'.. so it counts, right?

*smiles*

ETA: I think it's the energy. Period!

Just_G · 05-03-2012, 04:45 PM

Butch just radiates from me. I AM butch, I was born butch...not taught how to be butch. It is who I am, how I act, how I dress, and it is tattooed on me.

I take pride in being butch. I have never known how to act like some females...which to ME, that would be like doing my hair, nails, liking to shop, wearing make-up, accessorising with jewelry, etc. I know that there are even some men that are good at those things....I am not.

The funny thing is, there are some things that a lot of butches like to do that I don't care to do; like working on cars....I cannot stand to get grease and dirt all over my hands and around my cuticles. I sit back and think my buddy Cheech is REALLY butch because he does like to work on cars and stuff, but then he will turn around and say that he thinks I am REALLY butch because I am good at building things and good with tools. We have had this discussion a gazillion times over beer and wings.

I could build a room addition before I could change my oil....lol

Anyway, as far as what makes a butch a butch.....well, that is up to the individual person. I don't really think that anything MAKES someone butch, I think it is just something that is very natural and it comes from within one's heart and soul....their core.

psykftm · 04-15-2013, 12:31 PM

desd said...

When it comes to my partner, it's a multitude of looks, of actions, that make her butch. Does she dress masculine? Yes. From the tips of her cowboy boots to her baggy jeans, to the Skoal can in her back pocket. Button-down men's shirt with a tie, cowboy hat sitting just so. It's the way she drawls "Hey gorgeous", the way her lips turn up when she smiles at me, the smouldering look in her eyes when we make love. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when we go to bed at night, the caress of her fingertips on my face when she brushes my hair back, the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd. It's the loving way she brings me dinner to work, the "I love you" text messages throughout the day, the spontaneous love notes. I realize some of this do not 'mean' butch - they mean love, a partner - but it's what makes my partner 'my butch'.. so it counts, right?

*smiles*[/QUOTE]

Dang what a writer! lol but you brought something to mind mind which is great for me with this 'what makes a butch' topic. It would kill me for someone to call me feminine, as to why? The best I can come up with is it is not me.
I know labels suck, but since I'm working on trying to figure out who I am, I love them as descriptions. So my question comes from this scenario as written above
"the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd."
Now if my butch girlfriend did that to me, that would be hot!

I'm having a hard time getting at what I'm trying to get at lol

Being in a butch-butch relationship has turned up some threats to masculinity, like in pictures, she doesn't like it when I have my arm over her shoulder, because it makes her feel less butch. Well then I feel less butch.
I'm sure this is why someone would question a butch-butch relationship, but its so worth it lol!

I don't want to say I have a submissive side. I might, but it can't be considered feminine. I wanna know how other butches feel about these tight areas (if I have described it enough)...hopefully this is all still on topic

take care

lilapache · 04-15-2013, 12:59 PM

subscribing... will definitely be back tonite...

Toughy · 04-15-2013, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psykbutch

desd said...

When it comes to my partner, it's a multitude of looks, of actions, that make her butch. Does she dress masculine? Yes. From the tips of her cowboy boots to her baggy jeans, to the Skoal can in her back pocket. Button-down men's shirt with a tie, cowboy hat sitting just so. It's the way she drawls "Hey gorgeous", the way her lips turn up when she smiles at me, the smouldering look in her eyes when we make love. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when we go to bed at night, the caress of her fingertips on my face when she brushes my hair back, the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd. It's the loving way she brings me dinner to work, the "I love you" text messages throughout the day, the spontaneous love notes. I realize some of this do not 'mean' butch - they mean love, a partner - but it's what makes my partner 'my butch'.. so it counts, right?

*smiles*

Quote:

Dang what a writer! lol but you brought something to mind mind which is great for me with this 'what makes a butch' topic. It would kill me for someone to call me feminine, as to why? The best I can come up with is it is not me.
I know labels suck, but since I'm working on trying to figure out who I am, I love them as descriptions. So my question comes from this scenario as written above
"the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd."
Now if my butch girlfriend did that to me, that would be hot!

I'm having a hard time getting at what I'm trying to get at lol

Being in a butch-butch relationship has turned up some threats to masculinity, like in pictures, she doesn't like it when I have my arm over her shoulder, because it makes her feel less butch. Well then I feel less butch.
I'm sure this is why someone would question a butch-butch relationship, but its so worth it lol!

I don't want to say I have a submissive side. I might, but it can't be considered feminine. I wanna know how other butches feel about these tight areas (if I have described it enough)...hopefully this is all still on topic

take care

I will make it short and sweet. Anything and everything a butch does is butch. Period. Full Stop.

Do not ever let anyone tell you that you are less than as a butch or less than as a person, or that your relationship is less than.

CherylNYC · 04-15-2013, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psykbutch

I don't want to say I have a submissive side. I might, but it can't be considered feminine. I wanna know how other butches feel about these tight areas (if I have described it enough)...hopefully this is all still on topic

take care

Please, PLEASE do NOT equate feminine with submissive!

If you have submissive moments or are submissive, then you're a submissive butch. Period.

macele · 04-15-2013, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psykbutch

desd said...

When it comes to my partner, it's a multitude of looks, of actions, that make her butch. Does she dress masculine? Yes. From the tips of her cowboy boots to her baggy jeans, to the Skoal can in her back pocket. Button-down men's shirt with a tie, cowboy hat sitting just so. It's the way she drawls "Hey gorgeous", the way her lips turn up when she smiles at me, the smouldering look in her eyes when we make love. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when we go to bed at night, the caress of her fingertips on my face when she brushes my hair back, the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd. It's the loving way she brings me dinner to work, the "I love you" text messages throughout the day, the spontaneous love notes. I realize some of this do not 'mean' butch - they mean love, a partner - but it's what makes my partner 'my butch'.. so it counts, right?

*smiles*

Dang what a writer! lol but you brought something to mind mind which is great for me with this 'what makes a butch' topic. It would kill me for someone to call me feminine, as to why? The best I can come up with is it is not me.
I know labels suck, but since I'm working on trying to figure out who I am, I love them as descriptions. So my question comes from this scenario as written above
"the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd."
Now if my butch girlfriend did that to me, that would be hot!

I'm having a hard time getting at what I'm trying to get at lol

Being in a butch-butch relationship has turned up some threats to masculinity, like in pictures, she doesn't like it when I have my arm over her shoulder, because it makes her feel less butch. Well then I feel less butch.
I'm sure this is why someone would question a butch-butch relationship, but its so worth it lol!

I don't want to say I have a submissive side. I might, but it can't be considered feminine. I wanna know how other butches feel about these tight areas (if I have described it enough)...hopefully this is all still on topic

take care[/QUOTE]

are you saying that your girlfriend is the dominate one in the relationship? you can say that you are submissive, or have submissive tendencies, it's ok lol. own them!

Words · 05-03-2012, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morgan

Can a Butch dress like a Femme and still be butch inside or is that just to weird?

If a butch chooses to wears a dress and heels hy/she isn't dressing 'like a femme', hy/she's dressing like a butch who likes dresses and heels.

Nothing weird about it.

Words

05-02-2012, 09:44 PM	#1
Morgan Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, hy, hym, does not matter Relationship Status: I am enjoying life.... Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Arizona Posts: 643 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,753 Thanked 1,604 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	What makes a Butch "Butch" I have thought about this for a while and would like to hear from others on what they think makes a Butch "Butch". Is it the walk, the talk, the swagger, the clothes or is it something inside... Can a Butch dress like a Femme and still be butch inside or is that just to weird? I know plenty of Femmes' who can fix a car or do manual labor. Who can put on a pair of jeans and t-shirt and look just as butch as some butches, but can a Butch put on a dress and heels, go out for a night on the town and still be a butch? I believe they can, because it is not what is on the outside, but what is on the inside.... I would love to hear from others on this subject. Hell maybe I will try this experiment just to see...."no pictures please". __________________ “If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.” Robert Fritz

05-02-2012, 09:49 PM	#2
blush Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: I'm with goofy. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 911 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 962 Thanked 2,376 Times in 616 Posts Rep Power: 15632316	Of course... His huge cock waiting for Lady Snow __________________ "We never forget those who make us blush." Jean-Francois de la Harpe

05-02-2012, 09:55 PM	#4
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,299 Times in 6,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Repeat after me, clothes do not make the person. Now go write it a thousand times. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

05-02-2012, 10:10 PM	#7
Toughy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: pervert butch feminist woman Preferred Pronoun?: see above Relationship Status: independent entity Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oakland Posts: 1,826 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,068 Thanked 7,656 Times in 1,522 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	by definition butch = female masculinity and the ability to fight (and loose gracefully) Snow over who has the biggest cock........... __________________ We are everywhere We are different I do not care if resistance is futile I will not assimilate www.butchfemmesocials.com/

05-03-2012, 04:51 AM	#10
musicman Member How Do You Identify?: NA Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: NA Posts: 209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 195 Thanked 429 Times in 125 Posts Rep Power: 3610463	What makes me butch Nothing MAKES me butch I just am. It's what I have always been. If you put a dress on me I'd still be butch. I'd just be a really bad drag queen. Musicman

05-02-2012, 10:28 PM	#8
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,437 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	i hate identity policing. i tend to take people on their word based on how they self-identify. to me, the clothes should not make the butch anymore than they make the femme, but i think femmes have a lot more freedom in wearing clothing that's traditionally considered "masculine" than butches do in terms of how we are treated at least. i've been told i'm not "not femme enough" plenty of times, but i feel like there's even more of a stigma against a butch dressing in ways that are deemed "feminine." i like the idea of butch as female masculinity, but i also know many trans* male-id'ed folks who identify as butch (including my partner) and definitely don't identify with "female." to me, femme is queer/subversive feminine identity. i know a lot of folks don't necessarily like the word queer, but in the sense of "not heteronormative" or "self-defined" or "radical" or "subversive" i think queer masculinity might also be one way of understanding butch. i know some people feel that butch and femme are gender identities and some people feel they are performative (and so there are normative ways to perform them)...for me, i see them as identities that can be performed in any way - so what you wear doesn't necessarily change the id. edited - i just realized this is in the butch zone, i hope it's okay that i've posted here. apologies if i am speaking out of turn. <3

05-02-2012, 10:31 PM	#9
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: strong, independent, badass redhead Preferred Pronoun?: babygirl, buttercup, sugah Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: east bay, cali Posts: 2,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,643 Thanked 9,359 Times in 2,295 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I think part of it is the outside appearance. We judge, observe, based on what we see. While that does not make a person, sometimes it is what we base perceptions off of. When I think of the word 'butch', the way they walk come to mind. You know what I mean, right? 'The walk'. Something about it just makes my heart beat a little faster When it comes to my partner, it's a multitude of looks, of actions, that make her butch. Does she dress masculine? Yes. From the tips of her cowboy boots to her baggy jeans, to the Skoal can in her back pocket. Button-down men's shirt with a tie, cowboy hat sitting just so. It's the way she drawls "Hey gorgeous", the way her lips turn up when she smiles at me, the smouldering look in her eyes when we make love. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when we go to bed at night, the caress of her fingertips on my face when she brushes my hair back, the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd. It's the loving way she brings me dinner to work, the "I love you" text messages throughout the day, the spontaneous love notes. I realize some of this do not 'mean' butch - they mean love, a partner - but it's what makes my partner 'my butch'.. so it counts, right? smiles

05-03-2012, 04:45 PM	#14
Just_G Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Switch, Comedian...G...whichever. Preferred Pronoun?: He....with an e! Relationship Status: I'll take kinky & twisted for $200, Alex!! Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the middle Posts: 2,281 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 874 Thanked 6,165 Times in 1,450 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Butch just radiates from me. I AM butch, I was born butch...not taught how to be butch. It is who I am, how I act, how I dress, and it is tattooed on me. I take pride in being butch. I have never known how to act like some females...which to ME, that would be like doing my hair, nails, liking to shop, wearing make-up, accessorising with jewelry, etc. I know that there are even some men that are good at those things....I am not. The funny thing is, there are some things that a lot of butches like to do that I don't care to do; like working on cars....I cannot stand to get grease and dirt all over my hands and around my cuticles. I sit back and think my buddy Cheech is REALLY butch because he does like to work on cars and stuff, but then he will turn around and say that he thinks I am REALLY butch because I am good at building things and good with tools. We have had this discussion a gazillion times over beer and wings. I could build a room addition before I could change my oil....lol Anyway, as far as what makes a butch a butch.....well, that is up to the individual person. I don't really think that anything MAKES someone butch, I think it is just something that is very natural and it comes from within one's heart and soul....their core. __________________ Happy are those who dream and are ready to pay the price to make them come true!

04-15-2013, 12:31 PM	#15
psykftm Junior Member How Do You Identify?: FtM Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: single, healing Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: palm bay, fl Posts: 41 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 145 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 1779617	desd said... When it comes to my partner, it's a multitude of looks, of actions, that make her butch. Does she dress masculine? Yes. From the tips of her cowboy boots to her baggy jeans, to the Skoal can in her back pocket. Button-down men's shirt with a tie, cowboy hat sitting just so. It's the way she drawls "Hey gorgeous", the way her lips turn up when she smiles at me, the smouldering look in her eyes when we make love. It's the way she wraps her arms around me when we go to bed at night, the caress of her fingertips on my face when she brushes my hair back, the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd. It's the loving way she brings me dinner to work, the "I love you" text messages throughout the day, the spontaneous love notes. I realize some of this do not 'mean' butch - they mean love, a partner - but it's what makes my partner 'my butch'.. so it counts, right? smiles[/QUOTE] Dang what a writer! lol but you brought something to mind mind which is great for me with this 'what makes a butch' topic. It would kill me for someone to call me feminine, as to why? The best I can come up with is it is not me. I know labels suck, but since I'm working on trying to figure out who I am, I love them as descriptions. So my question comes from this scenario as written above "the way her arm encircles my waist when we are walking through a crowd." Now if my butch girlfriend did that to me, that would be hot! I'm having a hard time getting at what I'm trying to get at lol Being in a butch-butch relationship has turned up some threats to masculinity, like in pictures, she doesn't like it when I have my arm over her shoulder, because it makes her feel less butch. Well then I feel less butch. I'm sure this is why someone would question a butch-butch relationship, but its so worth it lol! I don't want to say I have a submissive side. I might, but it can't be considered feminine. I wanna know how other butches feel about these tight areas (if I have described it enough)...hopefully this is all still on topic take care

04-15-2013, 12:59 PM	#16
lilapache Member How Do You Identify?: DONE Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: forever away Posts: 1,374 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,015 Thanked 3,880 Times in 1,025 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	subscribing... will definitely be back tonite... __________________ Don't get mad when a girl cares too much. Worry when they start to not give a fuck.