Returning Home - how to reconnect - Page 2

Scuba · 09-25-2012, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

My question is for those who have been overseas or living in another country for a while and moved home: I know I'm going to go through reverse culture shock till I figure out how to reconnect myself with home. I know I'm going to be different, see things differently, and that my friends back home will have changed. I know if I can't readjust, I can leave again (and probably go to Melbourne this time). But I'm home for 3 years to do my schooling at least. If it goes well, I'll stay.

so those who have lived in another country and come back: how did you cope for through re-entry depression? did you go through it? what helped?[/I][/B]

I never did figure out how to do this. About 4 years ago, I left a job that had me all over the world all of the time and for months at a time for 12 years. I lost a relationship for exactly the reasons you point out here. I lost my connection with my friends, my partner and my life as I knew it in the States. When you're gone, in another place, another country, you learn to assimilate and where ever you are becomes your world. Home begins to fade and you lose track of everything you knew there. You make new friends, develop new habits, find new familiar places.

Coming home was difficult especially for my partner. I felt "disconnected" from her and my friends. I didn't know how to relate to them and was out of loop in all that had happened while I was gone. They had grown accustom to my absence. It was natural and unintentional for them to exclude me from event invites and such. For my partner, we had nothing to talk about. We had nothing in common. The gap between us was finally so great she found someone she could relate to and I can't say that I blame her.

I eventually left this job for one that left me on my home turf in the States. I wouldn't do it again unless I had every intention of staying put.

I wish you luck and hope you find just a little of what you left after your absence

Cheers,

Scoobs

genghisfawn · 09-25-2012, 08:11 PM

Good luck to you!

I lived in Saskatchewan all of my life before moving to the UK for a few years in my early 20s. I've been back just over two years and my re-entry was hard, despite coming back to a place I thought I knew well.

Even walking through downtown Saskatoon blew my mind as I stood in front of a new, purpose-built office suite for a mining conglomerate, asking my best friend, "What was here before?" Ugly new boxes representing houses have sprung up all over. Road construction still prevails (that much never changes.)

I have a tape of when I returned home, and my mother made me read the first few pages of Anne of Green Gables in my "new accent". Living in North Yorkshire had required some speech adjustments so I could be properly understood (vowels, idioms, aspirations, etc.), and it only took until I went back for Christmas, 6 months later, for me to greet people with a typical prairie, "Hey, how're you doin'?" and have them reel back, saying, "You sound so CANADIAN. What HAPPENED?"

I listened to that tape for the first time 3 months ago. I sound... odd. I don't know who that even sounds like, even though it's my voice. I remembered all of the adjustments I'd made coming back, how shy I was to see friends I hadn't seen in years, how for a few weeks (before I could get a job) I still had more unchanged pounds in my wallet than my scanty dollars (I changed them when I had to for friend-reunion drinks, cigarettes and bus fare.) I remembered being afraid to open my mouth in public, how friendly customer service people scared me (you'll get used to being asked if you need anything again, I promise!) and how f*cking disgusting Canadian cigarettes tasted compared to my lovely Sterling menthols.

You'll adjust. Once you're just getting thoroughly sick of telling the 1,000th person, "London is great to visit, but it's hell on earth to live there," you'll be pausing in doorways to quickly yank your scarf away from your mouth to light a cigarette before the howling snow whisks your flame (and cigarette, and sanity,) away like you never left.

09-25-2012, 08:11 PM	#22
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,157 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Good luck to you! I lived in Saskatchewan all of my life before moving to the UK for a few years in my early 20s. I've been back just over two years and my re-entry was hard, despite coming back to a place I thought I knew well. Even walking through downtown Saskatoon blew my mind as I stood in front of a new, purpose-built office suite for a mining conglomerate, asking my best friend, "What was here before?" Ugly new boxes representing houses have sprung up all over. Road construction still prevails (that much never changes.) I have a tape of when I returned home, and my mother made me read the first few pages of Anne of Green Gables in my "new accent". Living in North Yorkshire had required some speech adjustments so I could be properly understood (vowels, idioms, aspirations, etc.), and it only took until I went back for Christmas, 6 months later, for me to greet people with a typical prairie, "Hey, how're you doin'?" and have them reel back, saying, "You sound so CANADIAN. What HAPPENED?" I listened to that tape for the first time 3 months ago. I sound... odd. I don't know who that even sounds like, even though it's my voice. I remembered all of the adjustments I'd made coming back, how shy I was to see friends I hadn't seen in years, how for a few weeks (before I could get a job) I still had more unchanged pounds in my wallet than my scanty dollars (I changed them when I had to for friend-reunion drinks, cigarettes and bus fare.) I remembered being afraid to open my mouth in public, how friendly customer service people scared me (you'll get used to being asked if you need anything again, I promise!) and how f*cking disgusting Canadian cigarettes tasted compared to my lovely Sterling menthols. You'll adjust. Once you're just getting thoroughly sick of telling the 1,000th person, "London is great to visit, but it's hell on earth to live there," you'll be pausing in doorways to quickly yank your scarf away from your mouth to light a cigarette before the howling snow whisks your flame (and cigarette, and sanity,) away like you never left.