Generation SILENT

Jess · 08-25-2010, 05:58 AM

Aging and the LGBT community. Film maker Stu Maddux has made a film describing how our elderly are returning to the closet for self preservation in the institutional aging system. Very important work.

http://stumaddux.com/GEN_SILENT.html

christie · 08-25-2010, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jess

Aging and the LGBT community. Film maker Stu Maddux has made a film describing how our elderly are returning to the closet for self preservation in the institutional aging system. Very important work.

http://stumaddux.com/GEN_SILENT.html

I'm glad you posted this, altho tears in my morning kona wasn't what I had planned!

It looks as if it will be shown at the Charlotte Film Festival (who knew?) in September. I hope we can make plans to attend.

One woman in the trailer said it best: If not for them, we wouldn't be here!

shadows papa · 08-25-2010, 06:44 AM

That is a great link Jess. Very thought provoking. The elders who came before us did so much to give us the right to live and be who we are with pride and dignity. If you can find any more information about the movement to advocate for their rights to be who they are without fear of reprisal as they make life decisions affecting their geriatric health care,please pass them on!This segment of our community is the walking history book of where we came from,where we are and where we headed. They have more than earned our support,respect and caring. Thanks, Shad

Jess · 08-25-2010, 07:07 AM

Can't agree more Shad! I used to always joke ( kinda) with friends about starting an " Old Dykes Home" and it was for some of the very reasons cited here.

Here is a list of some upcoming screenings. The dvd can be purchased as well as screenings for groups can be requested. I hope every LGBT person has the opportunity to see it.

http://stumaddux.com/gen_silent_screenings.html

Jess · 08-25-2010, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christie0918

I'm glad you posted this, altho tears in my morning kona wasn't what I had planned!

It looks as if it will be shown at the Charlotte Film Festival (who knew?) in September. I hope we can make plans to attend.

One woman in the trailer said it best: If not for them, we wouldn't be here!

I absolutely agree with her sentiment. As we ourselves advance in age, we have to start looking at issues like this. Why you think I wanna sell house and do condo down the road? LOL

I would love for us to be able to go see it in C'ville ( actually, that film festival is pretty cool). We may have to buy it as well and pass it on to friends who aren't near screening areas.

Your ole codger loves you... ( that was a slight derail, my bad)

Jess · 08-25-2010, 07:37 AM

Here are a couple of links that may be helpful...

http://healthnewsdigest.com/news/Sen...ommunity.shtml

http://www.asaging.org/constituent_groups/lain/

always2late · 08-25-2010, 08:40 AM

Thank you so much Jess for posting this. I work in the field of geriatrics, a population that is often overlooked in most circumstances anyway, especially those in nursing homes or other institutionalized care. Its so heartbreaking to think how hard someone in that age group had to fight to be who they are, only to feel the need to hide in their "golden years". At my job, there are quite a few out employees, and I would like to think that no elderly person who was gay would be treated any differently....however, in this case, its sometimes not the employees that are the problem. Its the fellow patients. These are people who grew up in that time...and most, if not all, have brought the prejudices of a lifetime with them. At my old job I heard of one female patient, who had died several years before I worked there, being ostracized by other patients because she was gay. The thought of that is so horrible....to outlive your friends, and either have no family...or family that puts you in a home and forgets about you...and then to be shunned by your "peers". What could be a worse way to spend your final years on this earth? I have heard of several "retirement communities" founded by, and for, the LGBT community....but what about the years after, when more care is required? What about when one can no longer live independantly? Its a sobering thought...and one that needs to be addressed. No one should have to spend the end of their life in hiding or in fear.

Heart · 08-25-2010, 04:37 PM

Conference on LGBTQ aging coming up in November:

http://www.sageusa.org/index.cfm

Jess · 08-25-2010, 05:40 PM

Thanks for the link Heart! I doubt we can make it there, but can and will keep up with their work! Very grateful for the info.

christie · 08-25-2010, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heart

Conference on LGBTQ aging coming up in November:

http://www.sageusa.org/index.cfm

Thank you for posting this link! I wish we could attend, but Jess was correct in that we can't - Bratboy's school schedule just won't allow for it!

SAGE is doing important work. As of late, issues with aging keep coming forefront - the film Hannah Free and now this one.

Maybe that ole dyke retirement home isn't such a bad idea!

princessbelle · 08-25-2010, 08:08 PM

Wow what a wonderful, inspiring and thought provoking thread and link.

I worked for many years in the HIV/Aids floor and even though it has gotten better, the predjudice is of course still around. There were many nights I would sneak in partners into a patient's room because the family had forbid them to see a dying loved one. I am hoping as we age that there will be many in the medical field that will be gentle and kind to us all.

I agree with Always regarding the other patients and also the families and friends of a lot of "our" people being where the majority of a lot of the problems that our elderly face. I have a Certification in Geriatrics and I remember there was education to us nurses while taking this course regarding how to recognize and embrace different lifestyles into the dying process for the patient and family. I think it was brilliant to include that in our training and I was very proud. Of course, it was not enough training but it was at least mentioned.

It is never too early to get Living Wills and especially Medical Power of Attorney. Doctor's offices and office supply stores sell them. These are VERY important for planning and helping our partners deal with what could happen to any of us at any time.

Of course the obvious, IRAs, 401Ks and Pensions are also a great idea to have money so that the government won't be the ones in charge of us as we age.

If only life was fair and we were all given the same recognition and equality of a just, honorable and safe existance when we age. Education, communication, planning and hope is what will see us through.

citybutch · 08-25-2010, 08:45 PM

Thanks for posting Jess! I am passing this on...

Jess · 08-26-2010, 06:09 AM

I'm really glad to see folks viewing this and passing info on. I truly believe that until we have equal rights across the board that we will continue to see the types of abuse, neglect and indifference in our elderly community. It is a very sobering thought to realize that after a lifetime of fighting to just "be", we could be treated so poorly when we are no longer able to care for ourselves.

This brings up a lot for me and I hope that whatever aspect of equality folks focus on ( Equal marriage/ DADT/ ENDA) that we do so with vigor. They may appear to be different causes to "straight" folks, but they are all tied inextricably to one another. It is my deepest prayer that as we make headway in each battle, the end of the war draws closer.

It is also my firm belief that until we are seen as equal in the eyes of the law, our other differences will remain as obstacles in our evolution as a community. This, I am sure, is the hope of every Evangelical group out there. Divide and conquer.

Thanks again for taking a minute to view the link!

shadows papa · 08-26-2010, 06:51 AM

This thread is giving me lots of food for thought and may send me down a different career path to explore after school is finished. I am going to check with the Belcourt theatre in Nashville and see if a screening of GenSilent to Nashville. Have a GREAT weekend y'all!! Shad

Jess · 08-26-2010, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadows papa

This thread is giving me lots of food for thought and may send me down a different career path to explore after school is finished. I am going to check with the Belcourt theatre in Nashville and see if a screening of GenSilent to Nashville. Have a GREAT weekend y'all!! Shad

Awesome shad! If they don't have one planned, perhaps contacting the Nash Pride group or another LGBT group there and arrange one!

Good luck! ( and wear yer helmet

)

shadows papa · 08-26-2010, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadows papa

This thread is giving me lots of food for thought and may send me down a different career path to explore after school is finished. I am going to check with the Belcourt theatre in Nashville and see if a screening of GenSilent to Nashville. Have a GREAT weekend y'all!! Shad

Ok,my inner grammar teacher can't let the above post remain uncorrected! "I am going to check with the Belcourt theatre in Nashville and see if a screening of GenSilent can be arranged." Lawdy,I should know better than to post and talk to my Mama at the same time!! P.S. I will be wearing a helmet to ride today Elfbro!" Sorry for the derail!

tiggs · 08-26-2010, 05:30 PM

Thanks Jess for posting the link as others have said a very important subject and one we will all be faced with at some point in our lives.

Here is a link to a few GLBIT retirement homes, it's good to know there are already a few out there even if the options are limited.

http://www.gaylesbianretiring.org/lg...t-communities/]

Jess · 08-26-2010, 05:36 PM

Great link! Thanks tiggs!

Jess · 08-27-2010, 10:19 AM

Article from June of this year from the San Diego Gay and Lesbian News. It mentions Harold and Clay, the older gay male couple who were separated despite POA and other documents. I would love to see a follow up of what happened with Clay after Harold's passing.

Good article with several resources...

http://www.sdgln.com/news/2010/06/24...le-environment

femmebotdyke · 08-28-2010, 01:51 AM

Thank you so much for this, Jess. SUCH an important issue.

08-25-2010, 05:58 AM	#1
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,703 Times in 1,684 Posts Rep Power: 0	Generation SILENT Aging and the LGBT community. Film maker Stu Maddux has made a film describing how our elderly are returning to the closet for self preservation in the institutional aging system. Very important work. http://stumaddux.com/GEN_SILENT.html

08-25-2010, 06:44 AM	#3
shadows papa Member How Do You Identify?: With a Warning Label Preferred Pronoun?: Her Bastard Relationship Status: Peaceful Easy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Back Where I Come From Posts: 699 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,223 Thanked 1,644 Times in 485 Posts Rep Power: 3193788	That is a great link Jess. Very thought provoking. The elders who came before us did so much to give us the right to live and be who we are with pride and dignity. If you can find any more information about the movement to advocate for their rights to be who they are without fear of reprisal as they make life decisions affecting their geriatric health care,please pass them on!This segment of our community is the walking history book of where we came from,where we are and where we headed. They have more than earned our support,respect and caring. Thanks, Shad __________________ "Cry,cuss,sling snot, whatever. Just KEEP PEDALING!!" Shad

08-25-2010, 08:40 AM	#7
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Thank you so much Jess for posting this. I work in the field of geriatrics, a population that is often overlooked in most circumstances anyway, especially those in nursing homes or other institutionalized care. Its so heartbreaking to think how hard someone in that age group had to fight to be who they are, only to feel the need to hide in their "golden years". At my job, there are quite a few out employees, and I would like to think that no elderly person who was gay would be treated any differently....however, in this case, its sometimes not the employees that are the problem. Its the fellow patients. These are people who grew up in that time...and most, if not all, have brought the prejudices of a lifetime with them. At my old job I heard of one female patient, who had died several years before I worked there, being ostracized by other patients because she was gay. The thought of that is so horrible....to outlive your friends, and either have no family...or family that puts you in a home and forgets about you...and then to be shunned by your "peers". What could be a worse way to spend your final years on this earth? I have heard of several "retirement communities" founded by, and for, the LGBT community....but what about the years after, when more care is required? What about when one can no longer live independantly? Its a sobering thought...and one that needs to be addressed. No one should have to spend the end of their life in hiding or in fear. __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

08-25-2010, 08:08 PM	#11
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Wow what a wonderful, inspiring and thought provoking thread and link. I worked for many years in the HIV/Aids floor and even though it has gotten better, the predjudice is of course still around. There were many nights I would sneak in partners into a patient's room because the family had forbid them to see a dying loved one. I am hoping as we age that there will be many in the medical field that will be gentle and kind to us all. I agree with Always regarding the other patients and also the families and friends of a lot of "our" people being where the majority of a lot of the problems that our elderly face. I have a Certification in Geriatrics and I remember there was education to us nurses while taking this course regarding how to recognize and embrace different lifestyles into the dying process for the patient and family. I think it was brilliant to include that in our training and I was very proud. Of course, it was not enough training but it was at least mentioned. It is never too early to get Living Wills and especially Medical Power of Attorney. Doctor's offices and office supply stores sell them. These are VERY important for planning and helping our partners deal with what could happen to any of us at any time. Of course the obvious, IRAs, 401Ks and Pensions are also a great idea to have money so that the government won't be the ones in charge of us as we age. If only life was fair and we were all given the same recognition and equality of a just, honorable and safe existance when we age. Education, communication, planning and hope is what will see us through. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

08-26-2010, 06:51 AM	#14
shadows papa Member How Do You Identify?: With a Warning Label Preferred Pronoun?: Her Bastard Relationship Status: Peaceful Easy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Back Where I Come From Posts: 699 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,223 Thanked 1,644 Times in 485 Posts Rep Power: 3193788	This thread is giving me lots of food for thought and may send me down a different career path to explore after school is finished. I am going to check with the Belcourt theatre in Nashville and see if a screening of GenSilent to Nashville. Have a GREAT weekend y'all!! Shad __________________ "Cry,cuss,sling snot, whatever. Just KEEP PEDALING!!" Shad

08-25-2010, 07:07 AM	#4
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,703 Times in 1,684 Posts Rep Power: 0	Can't agree more Shad! I used to always joke ( kinda) with friends about starting an " Old Dykes Home" and it was for some of the very reasons cited here. Here is a list of some upcoming screenings. The dvd can be purchased as well as screenings for groups can be requested. I hope every LGBT person has the opportunity to see it. http://stumaddux.com/gen_silent_screenings.html

08-25-2010, 07:37 AM	#6
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,703 Times in 1,684 Posts Rep Power: 0	Here are a couple of links that may be helpful... http://healthnewsdigest.com/news/Sen...ommunity.shtml http://www.asaging.org/constituent_groups/lain/

08-25-2010, 04:37 PM	#8
Heart Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: rainbows! Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: NY Posts: 466 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 303 Thanked 2,531 Times in 412 Posts Rep Power: 12032609	Conference on LGBTQ aging coming up in November: http://www.sageusa.org/index.cfm

08-25-2010, 05:40 PM	#9
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,703 Times in 1,684 Posts Rep Power: 0	Thanks for the link Heart! I doubt we can make it there, but can and will keep up with their work! Very grateful for the info.

08-25-2010, 08:45 PM	#12
citybutch Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to "hey you" (either works for me!) Relationship Status: 19 years together- Very Married for 10 years Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: San Diego Posts: 556 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 835 Thanked 1,196 Times in 355 Posts Rep Power: 6220116	Thanks for posting Jess! I am passing this on...

08-26-2010, 06:09 AM	#13
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,703 Times in 1,684 Posts Rep Power: 0	I'm really glad to see folks viewing this and passing info on. I truly believe that until we have equal rights across the board that we will continue to see the types of abuse, neglect and indifference in our elderly community. It is a very sobering thought to realize that after a lifetime of fighting to just "be", we could be treated so poorly when we are no longer able to care for ourselves. This brings up a lot for me and I hope that whatever aspect of equality folks focus on ( Equal marriage/ DADT/ ENDA) that we do so with vigor. They may appear to be different causes to "straight" folks, but they are all tied inextricably to one another. It is my deepest prayer that as we make headway in each battle, the end of the war draws closer. It is also my firm belief that until we are seen as equal in the eyes of the law, our other differences will remain as obstacles in our evolution as a community. This, I am sure, is the hope of every Evangelical group out there. Divide and conquer. Thanks again for taking a minute to view the link!

08-26-2010, 05:30 PM	#17
tiggs Member How Do You Identify?: femme submissive Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: married and collared to Converse Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: canada Posts: 359 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,456 Thanked 726 Times in 247 Posts Rep Power: 2288327	Thanks Jess for posting the link as others have said a very important subject and one we will all be faced with at some point in our lives. Here is a link to a few GLBIT retirement homes, it's good to know there are already a few out there even if the options are limited. http://www.gaylesbianretiring.org/lg...t-communities/] __________________ “The world is not a dangerous place because of those who do evil, but because of those that look on and do nothing" - Albert Einstein

08-26-2010, 05:36 PM	#18
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,703 Times in 1,684 Posts Rep Power: 0	Great link! Thanks tiggs!

08-27-2010, 10:19 AM	#19
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,703 Times in 1,684 Posts Rep Power: 0	Aging in the LGBT community: Growing older in a hostile environment Article from June of this year from the San Diego Gay and Lesbian News. It mentions Harold and Clay, the older gay male couple who were separated despite POA and other documents. I would love to see a follow up of what happened with Clay after Harold's passing. Good article with several resources... http://www.sdgln.com/news/2010/06/24...le-environment

08-28-2010, 01:51 AM	#20
femmebotdyke Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Usually she/her but ze/hir or other gender neutral pronouns are also perfectly acceptable Relationship Status: Single (and trying to look nonchalant about it) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 17 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47 Thanked 45 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 281	Thank you so much for this, Jess. SUCH an important issue.