That awkward moment when..

[Gayandgray]

That awkward moment when you have a friend, a good buddy, that you like hanging out with and they tell you that they like you as more than a friend. But you don't feel that way about them.

[Poss]

As I'm walking up the aisle at Bunnings, chatting away to my partner; only to discover she has wandered off and a stranger is there instead.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Poss

As I'm walking up the aisle at Bunnings, chatting away to my partner; only to discover she has wandered off and a stranger is there instead.

I have done this so many times!

I then stumble over an apology and have nervous laugh and the person will look at me as though I am nutty...

[Lecheloco]

Tamw you go to use your phone and notice that you have been butt calling people at midnight lol

[grenade]

You're a nun that's smuggling a phone in your vagina and you suddenly sneeze...

[Gayandgray]

That awkward moment when you run into a former coworker that was fired in the grocery store or wherever, and they want to talk to you like you are their best buddy, but you never really talked to them at work before they were fired......

[Chad]

My newish coworker seems to not understand professional behavior or boundaries.

She comes into my office a lot to get my advice on projects and procedures. I am usually happy to help but her brassy behavior throws me for a loop.

So today she walked into my office and hiked up her skirt to her panties to show me bug bites on her leg.

Being the cool headed old guy I said you may want to put some medicine on those bites. In my head I was thinking WTF is wrong with this girl!!!!

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Chad

My newish coworker seems to not understand professional behavior or boundaries.

She comes into my office a lot to get my advice on projects and procedures. I am usually happy to help but her brassy behavior throws me for a loop.

So today she walked into my office and hiked up her skirt to her panties to show me bug bites on her leg.

Being the cool headed old guy I said you may want to put some medicine on those bites. In my head I was thinking WTF is wrong with this girl!!!!

Any possibility she likes you? I don't know the background, but from where I am standing it certainly looks that way! Maybe she has decided you need a 2x4?

[Soon]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Any possibility she likes you? I don't know the background, but from where I am standing it certainly looks that way! Maybe she has decided you need a 2x4?

Whether or not she "likes" Chad, don't you think this behavior is unprofessional and the skirt hiking bordering on harassment? If a man did that (not sure how with pants...pushing them down to show something to where their briefs were exposed?), I'd be furious. It's not appropriate and clearly crossing professional boundaries, especially because it sounds like Chad and this person clearly do not have an easy and open friendship where such actions would be a-ok.

I've had men interrupt my work/space time for bogus reasons, and, yes, it's possible there was a 'crush' happening on their end, but it didn't make it feel any less intrusive or inappropriate. Despite their 'liking' of me, it did make me feel my boundaries were being crossed and their behaviour was, at the least, irritating, and at the worst, verging on harassment.

[Chad]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Any possibility she likes you? I don't know the background, but from where I am standing it certainly looks that way! Maybe she has decided you need a 2x4?

Haha! Dapper buddy that would be a fun world to live in if a lady felt the need to hike up her skirt to get my attention.

I think this girl is just brazen with no boundaries. I am sure that there will be many more awkward moments to come.

[Chad]

Originally Posted by Soon

Whether or not she "likes" Chad, don't you think this behavior is unprofessional and the skirt hiking bordering on harassment? If a man did that (not sure how with pants...pushing them down to show something to where their briefs were exposed?), I'd be furious. It's not appropriate and clearly crossing professional boundaries, especially because it sounds like Chad and this person clearly do not have an easy and open friendship where such actions would be a-ok.

I've had men interrupt my work/space time for bogus reasons, and, yes, it's possible there was a 'crush' happening on their end, but it didn't make it feel any less intrusive or inappropriate. Despite their 'liking' of me, it did make me feel my boundaries were being crossed and their behaviour was, at the least, irritating, and at the worst, verging on harassment.

Soon,

I have wondered about her bazaar behavior since she started working in our group. She says things that would make anyone uncomfortable.

I feel like it is not my job to teach her "professional behavior".

[TL1]

Originally Posted by Chad

My newish coworker seems to not understand professional behavior or boundaries.

She comes into my office a lot to get my advice on projects and procedures. I am usually happy to help but her brassy behavior throws me for a loop.

So today she walked into my office and hiked up her skirt to her panties to show me bug bites on her leg.

Being the cool headed old guy I said you may want to put some medicine on those bites. In my head I was thinking WTF is wrong with this girl!!!!

Ha! I've been having issues with one woman for a long time now acting crazy. Another started not too long ago. She also has felt the need to show her bug bites way up there. As well as tell people we are together and sticking her tits in my face. Also constantly wanting me to watch her dance and shake her ass at me. This led to the girl that sits by me making comments of the same variety and she too likes to tell me to look while she dances around shaking her ass. I've made it clear I'm not interested but it doesn't seem to help much. I dunno wtf is wrong with women like them but damn something sure is!

So I feel ya man

[grenade]

Brazen would describe at least half of my office mates, myself included. We're professional when need be but super casual within our little group. I would think nothing of one of my co-workers raising her skirt to show me bug bites. Nothing is off limits for conversation. Our jokes and pranks are outrageous. That's just our dynamics.

[TL1]

when Facebook tells you it's your step-dads birthday so you write on his timeline "happy birthday". And later you remember his birthday is in September!

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Chad

Soon,

I have wondered about her bazaar behavior since she started working in our group. She says things that would make anyone uncomfortable.

I feel like it is not my job to teach her "professional behavior".

You are right. It is not. That's what HR is for.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Soon

Whether or not she "likes" Chad, don't you think this behavior is unprofessional and the skirt hiking bordering on harassment? If a man did that (not sure how with pants...pushing them down to show something to where their briefs were exposed?), I'd be furious. It's not appropriate and clearly crossing professional boundaries, especially because it sounds like Chad and this person clearly do not have an easy and open friendship where such actions would be a-ok.

I've had men interrupt my work/space time for bogus reasons, and, yes, it's possible there was a 'crush' happening on their end, but it didn't make it feel any less intrusive or inappropriate. Despite their 'liking' of me, it did make me feel my boundaries were being crossed and their behaviour was, at the least, irritating, and at the worst, verging on harassment.

Well, yes, absolutely! But, that is a different subject.

I was answering Chad's question. He asked what was wrong with her. I assumed he was asking our opinion on why she might be doing this. I didn't think he wanted us to actually makes suggestions as to what was "wrong" with her (Histrionic Personalty Disorder, anyone?).

Since she is coming around him a lot to chat and now she is being sexually suggestive, my guess is that she is sexually attracted to him.

Did you think that I would thought this was acceptable behavior? If so, why?

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by TL1

Ha! I've been having issues with one woman for a long time now acting crazy. Another started not too long ago. She also has felt the need to show her bug bites way up there. As well as tell people we are together and sticking her tits in my face. Also constantly wanting me to watch her dance and shake her ass at me. This led to the girl that sits by me making comments of the same variety and she too likes to tell me to look while she dances around shaking her ass. I've made it clear I'm not interested but it doesn't seem to help much. I dunno wtf is wrong with women like them but damn something sure is!

So I feel ya man

This would make me extremely uncomfortable. How are you dealing with the woman who is telling people that you are together? That makes me think she really is pretty kooky. Have you considered going to HR? Is the whole office very loose with their boundaries? I really couldn't deal with this everyday.

[TL1]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

This would make me extremely uncomfortable. How are you dealing with the woman who is telling people that you are together? That makes me think she really is pretty kooky. Have you considered going to HR? Is the whole office very loose with their boundaries? I really couldn't deal with this everyday.

What she does is goes to people and says it so I can hear and I will say something like.... "I don't think so" or I throw in choice words also. Then she laughs. So she makes it look like playing but she does it alllllllll the time. You would think she wouldn't find it amusing anymore but I guess she does. There has been talks and they helped some. She is also a sort of supervisor. But she is always acting out like she craves attention from everyone. She picks with a bunch of people but i don't get why I am the only one that she acts like that with.

I'd say it's a mix of professional and "loose". HR recently fired a man for sexual harassment.

[Soon]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Well, yes, absolutely! But, that is a different subject.

I was answering Chad's question. He asked what was wrong with her. I assumed he was asking our opinion on why she might be doing this. I didn't think he wanted us to actually makes suggestions as to what was "wrong" with her (Histrionic Personalty Disorder, anyone?).

Since she is coming around him a lot to chat and now she is being sexually suggestive, my guess is that she is sexually attracted to him.

Did you think that I would thought this was acceptable behavior? If so, why?

Your comment indicated nothing EXPLICIT about whether or not you found it acceptable but, no, I don't think you would find such unprofessional behaviour appropriate.

However, I *did* find your response somewhat surprising and a bit troubling in its implicit connotations, as it focused on proposing a harmless, playful, and even perhaps justified, reason for her intrusive behaviour toward Chad. The "two by four" is a common humorous turn of phrase thrown about due to this perception that butches are clueless when it comes to a woman's attraction toward them. It struck me as minimizing what Chad was feeling and experiencing. I put myself in the same situation (which I have been) and how I'd be frustrated if someone said the same thing to me after me opening up that a guy was bothering me in such a manner at work. It would be somewhat invalidating, as it does take the angle of...well, maybeeeee he just likes you and you're too clueless to realize it!

It's like if someone was bothering a student, and I said, "Well, maybe he LIKES you!" which indicates more of an absolution or justification for such unwanted behaviour. It adds a bit of a rationale to their behaviour on the person who is acting inappropriately and suggests that maybe, if you just realized they liked you, you would feel differently and not be quite as irritated by them.

I hope this explains more of my response. No, I do not think you would find it acceptable behaviour but, yes, I did find your response carried an odd angle which prompted me to respond in turn.

I've been waiting for your response to my post, so I'm glad I was able to elaborate a bit more for you and hope you understand a bit more where I'm coming from.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Soon

Your comment indicated nothing EXPLICIT about whether or not you found it acceptable but, no, I don't think you would find such unprofessional behaviour appropriate.

However, I *did* find your response somewhat surprising and a bit troubling in its implicit connotations, as it focused on proposing a harmless, playful, and even perhaps justified, reason for her intrusive behaviour toward Chad. The "two by four" is a common humorous turn of phrase thrown about due to this perception that butches are clueless when it comes to a woman's attraction toward them. It struck me as minimizing what Chad was feeling and experiencing. I put myself in the same situation (which I have been) and how I'd be frustrated if someone said the same thing to me after me opening up that a guy was bothering me in such a manner at work. It would be somewhat invalidating, as it does take the angle of...well, maybeeeee he just likes you and you're too clueless to realize it!

It's like if someone was bothering a student, and I said, "Well, maybe he LIKES you!" which indicates more of an absolution or justification for such unwanted behaviour. It adds a bit of a rationale to their behaviour on the person who is acting inappropriately and suggests that maybe, if you just realized they liked you, you would feel differently and not be quite as irritated by them.

I hope this explains more of my response. No, I do not think you would find it acceptable behaviour but, yes, I did find your response carried an odd angle which prompted me to respond in turn.

I've been waiting for your response to my post, so I'm glad I was able to elaborate a bit more for you and hope you understand a bit more where I'm coming from.

Ok, I get it. Completely.

What was actually going on in my head was the memory of me teasing Chad in the "crush" thread a couple of months ago. He came in at two different points saying, "nope, I don't see my name here" (something along those lines). I teased him about it at the time saying that I had seen my name in there thousands of times, and I believe there was also that "butch 2x4" talk (which I have always found annoying), in the thread close to our posts (so the 2x4 comment was a flashback to that moment, too). So, that is probably why I had tunnel vision on that post. Plus, I really thought that his question was the point of the post.