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Old 11-01-2022, 08:04 PM   #7061
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I'm feeling apprehensive. For several years, I've been sidestepping a (former?) friend. Basically, I screwed up: we were flirting, as we had the habit of doing. He's a gay man, so I thought this was totally safe flirting, just for fun. Then I took it a little too far one night; it was at a party, we had been drinking, and we were lying on his bed (which we had done many times in the past, in just a close, friendly way). He flirted back in a way that went just a little too far - and it shocked me. It occurred to me that he could be serious. And I freaked out - just a little, but it was enough. I realized that my mouth had written a check that my ass couldn't cash. And, I got up off the bed, made some lame excuse, and ran away, basically.

From talking to a mutual friend later, I realized I had really hurt his feelings. We have only seen each other since then when we are around our mutual friend - like for a funeral. We send each other Christmas cards, but like our conversations around our mutual friend, they are carefully worded. Not so much cold, but distant. And I have never been invited to another party. Nor have I invited him to anything.

I did a lot of thinking while I was going through cancer, about things I regret in my life. There aren't many, thank goodness, but I do regret messing up this friendship. I think about him often. I wonder if I should call, I've consulted our mutual friend about how he thinks the friend might take it. But I've never done anything about it.

Until now. He was on my mind again (it's Christmas card writing time again) and I thought, I have mostly recovered from my cancer treatments and other illnesses. There's no reason I couldn't give him a call and ask to meet up. Because I want to make this apology in person. It's much too deep to do it over the phone, or worse text (although a part of me, that part that is still highly embarrassed over this whole thing, would love to do it by text or phone. But no. No, no, no.)

So I gave myself a good talking to, and then I called him Sunday night. And we are meeting tomorrow night for dinner. Thus, the apprehension. And I know I can get through this, although it will be painfully embarrassing. I just hope he forgives me, and that we can be real friends again.
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Old 11-03-2022, 01:52 AM   #7062
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgiaMa'am View Post
I feel apprehensive. For several years, I've been sidestepping a (former?) friend . . . we are meeting tomorrow night for dinner. Thus, the apprehension. And I know I can get through this, although it will be painfully embarrassing. I just hope he forgives me, and that we can be real friends again.
Dinner went great! He didn't even remember the specific incident until I gave him details; he pointed out that we were both really drunk at the time. He said he felt badly that I had worried all this time about such a thing. He said he had wondered why I hadn't called him, and I had just seemed to cut him off. Anyway, we made up, lots of hugging, with sincere "I love you"s. We have definite plans to meet again. We caught up on some of what's happened, but there's more talking to do. I feel relieved, grateful and happy.
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Old 11-03-2022, 11:33 AM   #7063
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Smile Second Wind

Sometimes, when we least expect it, someone will come along and say something about your work ethic or conduct on the job and make your day.

This is what happened to me yesterday. They even gave a tremendous boost to our company website by articulating their observations about my service skills and conduct on the job, after waiting nearly an hour for their turn for service.


When this happened to me yesterday, it felt like a "Second Wind," and it lifted my spirit and even my new boss boosted that feeling as well.

I feel validated. Seen. Heard. And I feel like a valuable person (which I know I am, but it feels good when a complete stranger sees you in your entire state of being).

Here's to "Second Winds".


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Old 12-06-2022, 05:29 PM   #7064
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sometimes I just dont pay attention. Or....things run together. I thought I worked my second job tonight. But after I stopped to pick up dinner and arrive in the breakroom. I chat it up with my coworkers.
They are always so happy to see me.

And then...I realize I dont even work today. Its tomorrow.

I can get a good nights sleep and do it all over again tomorrow!
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Old 12-08-2022, 11:39 AM   #7065
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Default How are You Feeling?

Feeling pretty up to see my brother for a few hours.
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Old 12-10-2022, 04:42 PM   #7066
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Default How are you Feeling.

I am feeling upset with me. It crossed my mind again today that I had met this fine woman and she made some of her income from making comforters etc. in her home. I thought that would be ideal to have so I spoke to her about it and told her what I wanted and she started looking for the material etc. that was needed. A friend of mine brought two that she had bought and gave me one SO. I cancelled on this lady and probably got on the bad side of her because of this and to this day I do not blame her and I still feel very bad about what had happened but I have never had a real opportunity to tell her how sorry I am and that I have never forgotten about it. For this I feel upset with me as that is not like me but it is done and I can't undo it. I do hope she is doing well with her work.
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Old 12-10-2022, 10:52 PM   #7067
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I'm feeling sad because I'm probably going to miss out on the family Christmas weekend. I will probably Zoom part of it, like I did for for Covid. I am so sick right now and I don't really seem to be getting better. Even if I am better, I'm not sure I would not be contagious in time for the get-together. I am especially concerned about being around the family baby, who is currently eight months old. He has surgery scheduled for the 20th and he does not need to catch something before then.

Zooming isn't like being there, though. I'm not baking anything this year either, because I don't want to poison people with my germs. I'm not going to go stay with my mom for a few days either. So I don't expect much Christmas spirit to come around here.
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Old 12-11-2022, 08:29 AM   #7068
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I’m exhausted and ready to be home in the warmth. Minnesota is just too cold. It’ll be good to be in my own bed and see our cats.
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Old 12-11-2022, 12:00 PM   #7069
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I'm still feeling sniffly, sneezy, cough-y and wheezy.
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Old 12-13-2022, 06:43 AM   #7070
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Definitely well rested this morning. Last night, I think I nodded off every time I sat down. Finally I said, this is ridiculous, go put yourself to bed!

And ...I'm also feeling frustrated. You know how you feel when you take the time to write out something and you hit the wrong button and its deleted??
I wrote out a list of holiday baking ingredients.
Twice. And I used it on Friday to pick up some stuff.

Now where is it????
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Old 12-13-2022, 08:03 PM   #7071
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I'm feeling very tired and frustrated. I can't. quit. coughing!
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Old 12-13-2022, 11:00 PM   #7072
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Pampered. Instead of saying oh that's too spendy I don't really need it, went ahead and purchased some Dr. Teal's Eucalyptus & Spearmint soaking solution that was on discount and gave myself a pedicure. The combination seemed odd and I wondered if it would smell good but it does. The directions said to use half a bag, no way! I only put in ½ a tablespoon and even that might have been overkill, I probably could have gotten away with half that amount making it such a great deal I'm going back and buying more tomorrow. I also bought myself some winter theme slipper socks and when I put them on another surprise they're double layered, better than just one plush layer because they'll wash out better and stay looking nice longer.

J and I bought some slipper socks at Costco recently and what a waste of money. No grippers on the bottom, don't stay put, twist completely around on your foot from simply just walking in them not tap dancing or anything. Then though I washed according to package directions they still came out pilled up with all kind of bits of fuzzy stuff clinging to them. Well I should say embedded in them. To get it off you'd have to tweezer it out. Just one wear and it already looks like I've worn them for a couple. So these are great. Even better I just realized the pair with a different print I bought on discount last week at a different store are made of the exact same material by the same company. I am in home spa day heaven!
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Old 12-14-2022, 07:01 AM   #7073
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Excited!!

Apparently someone moved out and left their kitty. How can anyone do that? Breaks my heart. At least try to re-home.

Anyways, enter me. And ta da...I'm saving her. Gonna go try to catch her over by a neighbors house.

Come ..<new> home...I have treats. Here kitty kitty.
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Old 12-14-2022, 07:51 AM   #7074
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Better. Have been in a funk. Listened to a friend's blues that caused a lot of triggers. Tried to reframe it early in the conversation, but she needed to face it in her way. After listening for awhile I felt like I was in a mental war zone and gave myself till Sunday to get over the grief. That didn't work but things are getting better.

Don't know if the cloud is moving on or just letting a few rays of sunshine through. Whatever the case, I'll go with it.
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Old 12-14-2022, 11:31 AM   #7075
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Accomplished! I got all my holiday cards done, and I'm going to start on a crafty project next.
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Old 12-14-2022, 12:32 PM   #7076
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Smile Here & Now

I'm okay today. Kind of feisty, in a non-confrontational way.

I'm wearing some favorite shoes and a matching belt, which is close enough to "black belt" status for me

(LOL )
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Old 12-14-2022, 12:50 PM   #7077
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Warm, cozy and in a happy mood. The kid's washing machine broke down and mine isn't heavy duty enough to deal with all the big bulky things that got got caught up in the flood. So I'm getting ready to watch my grandson while J takes it to the laundromat. Of course that would happen not under normal circumstances but on an off day when the place is a sty. So i had to do some last minute cleaning, spend time getting the place more toddler friendly. At least as much as I could on short notice. I'll just have to watch him more closely.

Anyhow the place looks great and it's snowing. I can sit at the computer view my handwork, gaze at what I've accomplished and out the kitchen window and through the sliding glass door watch it fall. Or sit on the couch, take breaks from the television shows now and then and watch through the living room window. So peacful. That combined with maple doughnuts for breakfast, fresh coffee, my new warm slipper socks on and Monte sleeping peacefully away all cuddled up next to me has me in fine spirits. It's a great morning.
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Old 12-15-2022, 02:26 PM   #7078
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Default Feeling ?

Feeling pretty good. We didn't get any snow yet, lots of wind and rain just like I like it. I am here with the window open enjoying the sound of the trees in the wind. It is 34o now.
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Old 12-16-2022, 04:52 PM   #7079
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Lightbulb Friday Groove

i am not sure how i am feeling... just enjoying awesome music, dancing around, and creating magik....

Wishing all a wonderful weekend!
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Old 12-17-2022, 06:29 PM   #7080
Toolio
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I went to Walmart and as I was walking I came to where this young woman was and we stared for a few then I remembered it was my ex wife's daughter and she had her daughter with her. I haven't seen them in years and they both were happy to see me but my stepdaughter says to me your hair is really short...lol. I guesstimated her age because I really didn't remember but I guessed 40 and she was only 39 and says don't age me....lol kids
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