06-16-2010, 07:59 AM | #1 |
Administrator
How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She/Her Relationship Status:
Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: The Planet
Posts: 1,686
Thanks: 394
Thanked 5,634 Times in 1,013 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
A Community Request
Hello all,
I wanted to take a minute to talk a little bit about the growth of our site and how you as a community member can help keep ThePlanet a warm and welcoming place. We have a LOT of new members lately. Many of these new members are ALSO new to the Butch/Femme dynamic and many of them have never been a member of any kind of social internet community. Some of the new folks are trying to figure out if this community will fit their needs, how they identify, and where their desires are leading them. I want to ask each of you to please understand that with the introduction of so many new folks on our website, that you might need to take some extra time to help a newbie understand what some of our terminology means or how to better navigate the myriad of ways that we all identify. Please be extra patient with folks who might be at the very beginning of their journey and try to remember where you were and how you felt when you were brand new to your identity or to the online world. I also want to request that you take the time to *ask for and provide clarification* in conversations where someone may have inadvertently used an incorrect identifier for you or someone else or made an unglamorous or clumsy statement. Please stop and ask yourself if it is possible that the person might merely be new or if they might not yet have familiararity with your personal way of being. Many of us have known each other online for 5 or even 10 years. Some of us for 12 or longer! I think that sometimes we forget that ThePlanet is bigger than our personal bubble of experience. That we need to embrace people who come to this community in search of family, friends, or fuckbuddies. That we need to welcome the diversity of new ideas, new experiences, and even new ways of identifying within the Butch/Femme dynamic and Trans communities. There are a great number of younger people joining this site and even people from many different countries. We can learn just as much from them as they can learn from us and I hope that we all will remember that as the weeks and months spread out before us. When Jack and I decided to go ahead and do this damn thing and started gathering people and ideas, we never imagined that ThePlanet would actually work as well as it is working. We never imagined that almost 10 month later we would have 1300 members, be getting ready for a Reunion, and be looking at a long and bright future. This community is such an important space, not because we built it, but because all of YOU built it. I am amazed every day when I wake up and see another 10 members have come and joined this space. I am amazed when I see people reaching out across fences to connect. I am amazed that we are actually doing this. Together. Im not asking you to be all woo-woo or make glittery kittens shoot from your nether-regions. I am asking you to remember the love. Remember how you felt or would have felt the first time someone said to you, "Hey, you're ok just the way you are!" or "Hey! I get it!" Please join me in helping keep ThePlanet a healthy and welcoming space for everyone who is already here as well as those who find their way here. I beleive we have the most amazing community here and believe that we have the ability to affect change right here every day. So let's do that! Thank you. Admin |
06-16-2010, 09:00 AM | #2 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
mister Preferred Pronoun?:
he Relationship Status:
hard to hold Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: where the road goes on forever and the party never ends
Posts: 1,003
Thanks: 169
Thanked 1,533 Times in 437 Posts
Rep Power: 13709163 |
drive-by one liner, 'cause you like them soo much
i suspect you are a glittery kitten shot from some nether region or another...
__________________
i gots pitchers here i'm a rambling man i ain't ever gonna change i got a gypsy soul to blame and i was born for leaving --zac brown band (colder weather) |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to little man For This Useful Post: |
06-16-2010, 09:23 AM | #3 |
Pink Confection
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status:
Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nashville
Posts: 4,266
Thanks: 17,195
Thanked 11,382 Times in 2,839 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Yeayyy! Thank you for being so cool Admins!
__________________
|
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Apocalipstic For This Useful Post: |
06-16-2010, 09:23 AM | #4 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky Poly Transman Preferred Pronoun?:
He Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Monroe, NC
Posts: 551
Thanks: 773
Thanked 822 Times in 256 Posts
Rep Power: 2402407 |
I really like this post and these thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to post them.. I will always try to see things from the other side, hopefully, others will extend the same kindness to me.
Thank you again and I'm behind this thread, 100%. Tony, who has had glitter shoot from nether regions, but never kittens..
__________________
The beatings shall continue.. until moral improves.. |
06-16-2010, 09:33 AM | #5 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
mister Preferred Pronoun?:
he Relationship Status:
hard to hold Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: where the road goes on forever and the party never ends
Posts: 1,003
Thanks: 169
Thanked 1,533 Times in 437 Posts
Rep Power: 13709163 |
my sister has some kittens, if'n you're needing one or two.
__________________
i gots pitchers here i'm a rambling man i ain't ever gonna change i got a gypsy soul to blame and i was born for leaving --zac brown band (colder weather) |
The Following User Says Thank You to little man For This Useful Post: |
06-16-2010, 09:39 AM | #6 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Free Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Eden
Posts: 241
Thanks: 99
Thanked 269 Times in 101 Posts
Rep Power: 142534 |
Timely, good post, Admins. And I thank you for recognizing the noise going on here from time to time that is unhealthy/detrimental the overall good and sustainability of an (this) online community.
When people feel they must preface and/or end their posts with caveats in order to protect themselves from what they certainly must feel is an imminent attack, well...that's not good. It happens too often here that folks feel the need to put on their armor (or worse, apologize in advance) in order to express a benign, personal opinion. Or, they just stop posting in the "meatier" threads... Here's to thinking of others...for you never know the battle they might be fighting. |
The Following 23 Users Say Thank You to Oneida For This Useful Post: | Bit, blackboot, Blade, Camo Eagle, Curley, DapperButch, Diva, Gemme, Isadora, Jett, Kätzchen, Lynn, MrSunshine, princessbelle, ravfem, Ryobi, Soon, stephfromMIT, TenderKnight, Tommi, UofMfan, waxnrope, WolfyOne |
06-16-2010, 09:58 AM | #7 |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Permanently Banned 5/27/2011 Preferred Pronoun?:
hy ho, hy ho; he, she, it, whatever Relationship Status:
Going slow ... Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: in her orifices ... la frontera
Posts: 1,433
Thanks: 6,414
Thanked 2,958 Times in 953 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Thanks so much for this thread.
Since Tony already said something about nether regions in pubic, I will forego making a similar comment and risk getting into some type of difficulty. But, just thanks for some stuff to think about and mull over. Always learning here. |
The Following User Says Thank You to waxnrope For This Useful Post: |
06-16-2010, 10:25 AM | #8 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky Poly Transman Preferred Pronoun?:
He Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Monroe, NC
Posts: 551
Thanks: 773
Thanked 822 Times in 256 Posts
Rep Power: 2402407 |
awww.. Thank you! But I have to be honest, not sure I'd want that.. Kittens have those friggin wicked needle claws.. Not fun on the way out, even with lots of glitter to lubercate.. And they wiggle.. and pounce.. hmmm
__________________
The beatings shall continue.. until moral improves.. |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to TenderKnight For This Useful Post: |
06-16-2010, 11:45 AM | #9 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
With my souls eyes. Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
lol Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 3,476
Thanks: 10,524
Thanked 11,144 Times in 2,755 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Awww man!!
__________________
In Lak'ech Ala K'in I'm a Soul Rebel http://wannabereverend.wordpress.com/ Spirituality is not a belief system or ideology, it is the surrender of one's ego to the infinite wisdom and knowledge that is the universe. |
The Following User Says Thank You to Ebon For This Useful Post: |
06-16-2010, 01:21 PM | #10 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
mister Preferred Pronoun?:
he Relationship Status:
hard to hold Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: where the road goes on forever and the party never ends
Posts: 1,003
Thanks: 169
Thanked 1,533 Times in 437 Posts
Rep Power: 13709163 |
Quote:
tell ya what, take a pair of them and they'll keep each other busy while we find something less scratchy for you. ever helpful, wil
__________________
i gots pitchers here i'm a rambling man i ain't ever gonna change i got a gypsy soul to blame and i was born for leaving --zac brown band (colder weather) |
|
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to little man For This Useful Post: |
06-16-2010, 02:01 PM | #11 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Kinky Poly Transman Preferred Pronoun?:
He Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Monroe, NC
Posts: 551
Thanks: 773
Thanked 822 Times in 256 Posts
Rep Power: 2402407 |
wil, sounds like a plan to me!
__________________
The beatings shall continue.. until moral improves.. |
06-16-2010, 04:45 PM | #12 | |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,595
Thanks: 182,245
Thanked 108,784 Times in 25,667 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
Quote:
These kittens of glittery fame....are they declawed? |
|
06-16-2010, 08:57 PM | #13 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
mister Preferred Pronoun?:
he Relationship Status:
hard to hold Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: where the road goes on forever and the party never ends
Posts: 1,003
Thanks: 169
Thanked 1,533 Times in 437 Posts
Rep Power: 13709163 |
tony says they're not.
__________________
i gots pitchers here i'm a rambling man i ain't ever gonna change i got a gypsy soul to blame and i was born for leaving --zac brown band (colder weather) |
The Following User Says Thank You to little man For This Useful Post: |
06-16-2010, 09:04 PM | #14 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
TOWANDA! Preferred Pronoun?:
Queen Bee Relationship Status:
Good 'n married. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Eastern Canada. But if I make a wrong turn at the lights I get stopped by a border guard.
Posts: 1,499
Thanks: 2,355
Thanked 2,759 Times in 820 Posts
Rep Power: 16450091 |
Declawed kittens are for wusses. Jus sayin'.
__________________
"Compassion, in which all ethics must take root, can only attain its full breadth and depth if it embraces all living creatures and does not limit itself to mankind." -Albert Schweitzer |
06-16-2010, 11:58 PM | #15 |
Joy Seeker
How Do You Identify?:
Smartly-Flavored Preferred Pronoun?:
Goddess Relationship Status:
Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14 Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Joyville, NM (aka Land of Enchantment)
Posts: 10,140
Thanks: 13,636
Thanked 28,130 Times in 6,413 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Arwen For This Useful Post: |
06-17-2010, 12:25 AM | #16 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,595
Thanks: 182,245
Thanked 108,784 Times in 25,667 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
Ouch.
Let's hope for no breachies, yes? You, missy, are not being helpful. |
06-17-2010, 02:31 AM | #17 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Human Preferred Pronoun?:
He/Him Relationship Status:
Happily Single! Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nunya
Posts: 1,225
Thanks: 2,355
Thanked 2,574 Times in 790 Posts
Rep Power: 18276166 |
Thank you for posting this. Pup and I have had a very similar discussion on more than one occasion. I think we have all seen the negative result of someone new to this site (or any other similar site) or the dynamic (and sometimes someone not so new that is trying to understand a component of our community that they may not have really considered before), use the wrong identifier and get blasted for it; or say something that seems ID insensitive, and get blasted for it and/or labeled as intolerant of this or that and discounted from that moment forward. It's not pretty, it's not very fair and it can be quite divisive. I for one don't like or want to see the division of our community along such a boundary. In my opinion, the collective "we" are already a microcosm within a microcosm. As such, good debate is healthy; division is not.
I really do appreciate the stance, wisdom and tolerance of the admins and most of the community here in their desire to create a positive space in which everyone should feel welcome to a space that provides us with a place to play, learn, share, debate and best of all, connect with our community; our online family that we often have the luxury of meeting in person along the way. Every single one of us is at a different point in our own personal journey and knowledge, and that often is reflected in what we say, how we say it; what we view as humorous or distasteful. Tolerance and understanding cannot be forced. Many of us have seen the result of that premise. It must instead be nurtured through dialogue, information exchange and patience. Many thanks for reminding us all to engage our brains and our hearts before engaging our keyboards. Didn't want to get on a soapbox, but hey, it's 3:30 in the morning and this thread certainly hit on a point that I feel pretty strongly about but never took the time to vocalize. Thanks for the prompt, thanks for the space and thank you for the reminder to us all to help keep this place healthy across the board! Glynn |
The Following 22 Users Say Thank You to Oiler41 For This Useful Post: |
06-17-2010, 03:25 AM | #18 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
TG/stone butch Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Knoxville
Posts: 426
Thanks: 419
Thanked 1,341 Times in 309 Posts
Rep Power: 9701637 |
I'm personally against shooting kittens from any region. I don't hold glitter grudges.... just saying
sly grin ~~~shark~~~~~~~~
__________________
take a fish boating
|
The Following User Says Thank You to sharkchomp For This Useful Post: |
06-17-2010, 09:52 AM | #19 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,595
Thanks: 182,245
Thanked 108,784 Times in 25,667 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
Breachies = breach birth...er, extraction. Claws could....hurt.
Thought I'd clear that up. |
06-17-2010, 10:05 AM | #20 |
Is Grateful
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Engaged Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The PDX
Posts: 1,526
Thanks: 846
Thanked 1,584 Times in 622 Posts
Rep Power: 856201 |
I love the "personal bubble"
A couple of years ago, June and I were talking about friendships and she said "friend bubble". It made SO much sense to me! What got me thinking is how we all come from our own life experiences and then from all kinds of different communities...some of us know each other from more than one and each has their own dynamic. I think it is easy for those environments to bleed into each other... and although it can be great when they collide, I think it is also important to remember the different energies... "bubbles" June - please explain better
__________________
Joy is the best makeup -Anne Lamott |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SassyLeo For This Useful Post: |
|
|