Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > RELATIONSHIPS, COMMUNITY, GROUPS > BFP Folks Under 30

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-22-2011, 12:13 PM   #1
EnderD_503
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Queer, trans guy, butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
Male pronouns
Relationship Status:
Relationship
 
EnderD_503's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,329
Thanks: 4,090
Thanked 3,918 Times in 1,041 Posts
Rep Power: 21474847
EnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST ReputationEnderD_503 Has the BEST Reputation
Default Being B/F and Under 30

Hey, just making this thread for us under 30 folks to post and talk about how we relate to the dynamic vs. how the mainstream lgbtq community sees our community.

Personally, I still get a lot of mainstream lesbians and gays in particular talking as though the B/F community was strictly a result of the social climate of the early to mid 20th century, and that we pretty much don't/shouldn't exist anymore because of some misnomers on what it means to be butch or femme. There's also this mentality still around that where the community still exists, it is set on upholding the rigid understandings of gender that were present in the mid 20th century. That butch and femme just stop there as a kind of "moment in time."

Butch and femme have come to mean completely different things for the mainstream community than they mean in the B/F community itself today, so I'm interested in hearing how you guys deal with a lot of those beliefs still lingering around out there, trying to dispel those beliefs people might have about your identity and making yourself visible as a twenty-something member of the BF community.
EnderD_503 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to EnderD_503 For This Useful Post:
Old 01-16-2012, 08:17 AM   #2
genghisfawn
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme/Gentlewoman
Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her
Relationship Status:
Happily married 05/17/14
 
genghisfawn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 561
Thanks: 2,056
Thanked 2,159 Times in 403 Posts
Rep Power: 21474845
genghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputationgenghisfawn Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I think there's a lot of flack to be had with some of the postmods I know (and I say some because I mean only some!) who would rather see B-F disappear because of its apparent heteronormativity as opposed to embracing its role in diversity. The trouble with disdaining an identity and way of relating to one another (which isn't illegal, harmful or ill-advised) is that it closes the door on education and opens it to the wilderness of propaganda and (horror!) people's "humble opinions" on what they don't really know.

There is a lot of butch-butch and label-free identification where I am because it's a small community and queer/radical visibility is seen as important and necessary in a smaller area. Not being visibly queer as a single femme, I especially feel a double-edged sword in my neighbourhood. It's hard being "the straight girl... is she straight?" at the bar
genghisfawn is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to genghisfawn For This Useful Post:
Old 01-18-2012, 11:43 AM   #3
AlexHunter
Member

How Do You Identify?:
With a greeting and a handshake, typically
Preferred Pronoun?:
He
Relationship Status:
Single
 
AlexHunter's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 150
Thanks: 469
Thanked 456 Times in 49 Posts
Rep Power: 6000589
AlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST ReputationAlexHunter Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Here, here. Hi!

I have noticed the prevalence of B/F is also a regional thing. In parts of the southern US, it seems more common than in major metropolitan areas. One could say that is because the south is more "traditional" and "old fashioned." *Shrugs*

In DC, where I've spent a majority of my time living, B/F is a highly divided subject. There are plenty of young queers who shamelessly seek that sort of dynamic and just as many who reject it, bash it, or simply don't understand why. I am personally genderqueer and more on the male-identified end of the spectrum, so it's a little harder for me to defend the "mimicry of straight people" argument than someone who is strictly woman-identified. I DO want to "be the man." I want a pretty girl on my arm and I want to treat her like a gentleman treats his lady.

There are certainly a lot of misconceptions on what butch and femme mean within the mainstream community. I have heard, "I'm not into butch, but I like you!" I have met people who I would consider butch or femme but don't identify as such and would be very offended if someone stuck a label on them. I've had people tell me I'm not butch because I'm not "big and scary" or because I'm "more like a guy than a butch lesbian." I've also had people ask me why I have decided to be "so closed minded" by only dating femmes.

I dislike how "butch" is somewhat of a dirty word in certain lesbian circles when it's part of the history that paved the way for them to openly be who they are.
__________________
Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
AlexHunter is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to AlexHunter For This Useful Post:
Old 01-25-2013, 02:48 AM   #4
Princess
Member

How Do You Identify?:
princess
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her.
Relationship Status:
One singular sensation!
 
Princess's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Topeka, KS
Posts: 1,337
Thanks: 2,082
Thanked 4,570 Times in 1,005 Posts
Rep Power: 21474846
Princess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Just thought this particular thread should be resurrected, there must be more of us out there under 30!
Princess is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Princess For This Useful Post:
Old 03-11-2013, 07:29 PM   #5
tara_kerrie
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Whatever you want to call us
Preferred Pronoun?:
Her, she,
Relationship Status:
Married
 
tara_kerrie's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Wherever these 18 wheels take us
Posts: 583
Thanks: 484
Thanked 1,366 Times in 441 Posts
Rep Power: 17763580
tara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputationtara_kerrie Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess View Post
Just thought this particular thread should be resurrected, there must be more of us out there under 30!
I dont think that there are very many of us on the planet that are under 30.
I am 29
tara_kerrie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to tara_kerrie For This Useful Post:
Old 04-03-2013, 01:38 AM   #6
BoSoxBoi
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Transgender, FTM, Butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
He (Any male pronouns will work)
Relationship Status:
Very much taken
 
BoSoxBoi's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: For now..
Posts: 7
Thanks: 36
Thanked 20 Times in 6 Posts
Rep Power: 0
BoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST ReputationBoSoxBoi Has the BEST Reputation
Default Under 30..

I'm almost 27..
BoSoxBoi is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to BoSoxBoi For This Useful Post:
Old 04-04-2013, 11:23 PM   #7
odd_boi_out
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
transmasculine, butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
they
Relationship Status:
Single
 
odd_boi_out's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 25
Thanks: 4
Thanked 74 Times in 17 Posts
Rep Power: 1055189
odd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Hello other younger folks! I'm 24.
odd_boi_out is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to odd_boi_out For This Useful Post:
Old 08-05-2013, 05:38 PM   #8
Asari
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
female ones
Relationship Status:
Single
 
Asari's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Germany
Posts: 146
Thanks: 563
Thanked 277 Times in 90 Posts
Rep Power: 4780802
Asari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST ReputationAsari Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerrie View Post
I dont think that there are very many of us on the planet that are under 30.
I'm afraid that's true... I don't know if the B/F community in Germany is different from the american one, but it seems like most of "us" are even over 40.
And not interested in a youngling (I'm 22).
__________________
“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.”

Mahatma Gandhi
Asari is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Asari For This Useful Post:
Old 10-14-2013, 07:14 AM   #9
Venus
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
single
 
Venus's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: US
Posts: 14
Thanks: 33
Thanked 35 Times in 11 Posts
Rep Power: 7
Venus is on a distinguished road
Default I see

This is an older threat but I still wanted to say HI to everybody. I just turned 29
Venus is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Venus For This Useful Post:
Old 08-28-2014, 07:38 PM   #10
D Phryxus
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
bi femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
Feminine
Relationship Status:
Poly-married
 
D Phryxus's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 31
Thanks: 35
Thanked 61 Times in 23 Posts
Rep Power: 92897
D Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST ReputationD Phryxus Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I do think there are differences in our younger community and love that there's a thread for it.

I'm a 25 femme and happy to be here ^_^
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Love knows no Limits.
D Phryxus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2014, 07:18 PM   #11
Butcher
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch
Relationship Status:
In A Relationship
 
Butcher's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 11
Thanks: 6
Thanked 59 Times in 10 Posts
Rep Power: 214755
Butcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST ReputationButcher Has the BEST Reputation
Default

This thread is old but I think its important for young b/f folks to band together since the dynamic is not nearly as present in our age group. In general, androgyny has taken hold as the new queer style and dichotomies regarding gender or sexuality are often criticized as restricting. Have other folks experienced this mindset? As a young butch or femme, how do you feel about it? To each their own, always, but for me I need polarity in a relationship and b/f is what I crave.
Butcher is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Butcher For This Useful Post:
Old 12-27-2014, 03:36 PM   #12
imperfect_cupcake
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
feminine dolly dyke
Preferred Pronoun?:
Your Grace
Relationship Status:
I put my own care first
 
imperfect_cupcake's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In a gauze of mystery
Posts: 1,776
Thanks: 2,426
Thanked 9,756 Times in 1,613 Posts
Rep Power: 21474848
imperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputationimperfect_cupcake Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I think that rather depends on your local area.
Where I live, for example, genderqueer (meaning, all the masculine identities, not just butch)/femme is very common in the under 35 group.
When I go out to a genderqueer event, like Man Up (drag King night) it is jammed with people between 19-35. However, at 45, I look like someone's mom and am usually the oldest one there.

Seattle seems to be thronging with it too. London was fantastic.

But some places there just isn't. It was one of the main reasons I traveled so much when I was younger. Vancouver had Very, very few under 35, 15 years ago and I had to go afield to places it was common. But I've come home and now the under 35 scene of genderqueer/femme is pretty hopping. But not online. It's one of those things you have to go out for here. Vancouver queer doesn't tend to do much via the net.

So don't wilt yet there are areas where it's rather common/popular.
imperfect_cupcake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2015, 03:48 PM   #13
randrum
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Butch-ish... genderqueer... Still figuring it out
Preferred Pronoun?:
Just call me G
Relationship Status:
Single
 
randrum's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Motor City
Posts: 645
Thanks: 3,126
Thanked 2,880 Times in 622 Posts
Rep Power: 21474842
randrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputationrandrum Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I just came across this thread. It would be nice to get some other perspective.

I'm 28. And just sort of finding my own way as butch in the world. Around me, with my friends, it's not accepted well. Like it makes me less or something. I remember when I was first coming out, it wasn't even a thought I'd entertain because of how people I knew reacted to those that identified as butch.

I needed space and to get away from their narrow view of the lgbt community to realize that there are different avenues I could explore.

As for the B/F dynamic in relationships, well I can't comment so much on that. Honestly, I struggle to just meet open minded people around my age.
randrum is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to randrum For This Useful Post:
Old 03-08-2015, 04:09 AM   #14
cutiefemme
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
stonefemme
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
Single
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Australia
Posts: 22
Thanks: 0
Thanked 67 Times in 21 Posts
Rep Power: 15039
cutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputationcutiefemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I have lots and lots of lesbian friends my age, but they are all feminine girls who like each other. I told them I LOVE butches but they couldn't find butches for me because they don't know them. I know there are lots of butches here (including my age) but they just mostly hang out in their own groups. It's an important identity to me because I've tried dating femmes but it was pretty awkward and I just am much more attracted to and compatible with butches.
cutiefemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to cutiefemme For This Useful Post:
Old 03-08-2015, 07:06 AM   #15
Wintermoon
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Neutral
Relationship Status:
Solid
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Coldville
Posts: 7
Thanks: 0
Thanked 19 Times in 7 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Wintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST ReputationWintermoon Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I am not under 30. However, when I was under 30 I never saw another butch at all until I was well into my 30s. To find a butch or butch looking person I had to go to a bar. In my mind the internet has opened up way more possibilities to meet that butch someone. It is unfortunate but.... I was not ** butch** when I was a teen because I looked butch.. I was a guy from birth who got stuck with Zero help , input or information about how to be myself. I had to fight right out of the land of toddling to say I am NOT wearing that... I am NOT going to some ladies tea... I am NOT putting down this football..! I am positive that there are butches out there in the younger demographic who are just being them..... the huge difference... is that nowadays there's so much andro clothing compared to the old days that one chooses andro .... naturally and doesn't go full on butch/male clothing because they naturally are feeling in their safe butch place without making a huge effort to fight to be **** not in a dresssssss****. Having said that I feel badly for the young TG who hasn't found hys way and is floundering in andro-land. I hope you find that butch ... and help them be the one they want to be. Who knows.... they very well may be in drag and that andro or femme u meet might realize... who they are with your help.
Wintermoon is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Wintermoon For This Useful Post:
Old 03-13-2015, 01:57 PM   #16
bright_arrow
☆ the stars are aligned ☆

How Do You Identify?:
strong, independent, badass redhead
Preferred Pronoun?:
babygirl, buttercup, sugah
Relationship Status:
married to my Boo Daddy <3
 
bright_arrow's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: east bay, cali
Posts: 2,888
Thanks: 3,626
Thanked 9,339 Times in 2,283 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849
bright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputationbright_arrow Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Default

I'm sure I've posted in here before but it's been a while. Still under thirty :-) I've not had any friends in my age range since high school and it's something I've grudgingly accepted.

Now that I'm in the Bay area though, and around a bigger lgbtq community, I want to try and remedy that. :-)
bright_arrow is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to bright_arrow For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:25 PM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018