What Cracked You Up Today? - Page 57

Kenna · 11-09-2014, 09:30 PM

We hosted dinner for two neighbors tonight...one 40 something lady and one middle 60's male farmer...

During our after-dinner fellowship, the lady says to the farmer "I want to hook you up with my momma!"... The poor farmer's face turns red, he tips his hat forward...everybody's belly laughing hard, I ask him how many wives or almost wives did he have? He says THREE...
The lady says, I think you and my momma would make a great match!!...the poor farmer, who's normally very laid back and quiet spoken, splurted out " WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CALL ME DADDY AND GET IT OVER WITH!!"

OMG!!! we ROLLED laughing!!!

SnackTime · 11-12-2014, 07:04 AM

The conversations that take place in chat...

A. Spectre · 11-12-2014, 08:03 AM

rolled out of bed with a rocket up my &^%*. sun is out, delightful day ahead, could hardly wait to get this party started.

post socks, slipped my shoes on. and oh-my-gosh, it took me a half an hour to realize i had them on the wrong feet. (well, they were MY feet) wrong foot i should state.

wow, still asleep is the only explanation.

such a dweeb am i

Kobi · 11-12-2014, 10:37 AM

Im feeling dweebish, even tho Im not sure what that means. I always called my cat during the day and left messages for her. I even cslled when I was going to be home later than expected.

Fancy · 11-14-2014, 11:03 AM

I laughed so hard...

cinnamongrrl · 11-14-2014, 11:22 PM

The affectionate and wondrously adoring looks my kitten reserves.....for the space heater...lol

cinnamongrrl · 11-15-2014, 07:08 AM

I woke up this morning and looked in the living room...

All my stuff from coming in from work is in a pile in the middle of the living room floor...

It's like I only had enough energy to get THAT FAR...my bag my purse and my keys my shoes...just muddled there lol

A. Spectre · 11-17-2014, 05:48 PM

there was a decent snowfall here today, so my neighbor dude and i both went awol from our responsibilities to sled in my back yard.

he brought his red flyer and i had a saucer sled. there are trees to navigate around and with a thin layer of ice under the snow, there was a fair amount of velocity.

the numerous times flying down the hill with no mishap came to a screeching halt when a tree decided to stick out a limb and tripped me. yes she did, i flipped and i flopped until i came to a stop. neighbor dude was laughing hysterically while i was rubbing the swelling redness that was my left cheek.

after a few minutes, i joined in and could not stop laughing either. the tree enjoyed all of this as well.

Trev · 11-17-2014, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Candelion

Apparently it would be a faux pas to order a chili dog at a demolition derby. Demolition Derbies are strictly a corn dog and Budweiser affair.

Additional helpful hint: Don't embarrass yourself by showing up in anything other than a tube top.

Trying to explain all of this over the phone was so much fun

She's so damn adorable

Kenna · 11-17-2014, 07:19 PM

Jokes with my roommate after work.
I grew up in a house where we rarely laughed or knew laughter....
Now I'm very happy that my roommate and I frequently enjoy laughing and having stuff to crack up about.

candy_coated_bitch · 11-17-2014, 08:45 PM

The baby fridge. Don't even ask--you had to be there.

Kenna · 11-17-2014, 08:51 PM

A hilarious "phonetic slip" ...
My buddy telling me a story about their grampa saying "let me tell you about how many hoes I rowed"....instead of how many rows he had hoed in the garden.

SleepyButch · 11-17-2014, 10:07 PM

Funny thing happened while eating dinner with my parents and 20 year old nephew.

My nephew looks at my mother and tells her that Eminem is coming out with a new CD. My mom got all excited about it and asked him what it was called and I said wait, you like Eminem and she said yes! She said what's the big deal, you know how much I like Guns N roses. Mind you, my mother is 70.

It was funny.

CherryWine · 11-18-2014, 12:41 PM

11-18-2014, 02:34 PM

Kenna · 11-18-2014, 06:46 PM

When my new Ortho Doc and the Nurse were trying to wrap me into my new back brace...the tension as they tried "trouble shooting" and Doc was showing the Nurse "how to use the straps" amused me so much that I had to break the tension by saying "Dang!! This is like wrapping the Chihuahua up in his diaper!!"

Doc made that OMG She did not just say that look..then cracked up!! Then the Nurse said "What's a Chihuahua diaper?" After I explained it was a velcro wrap that goes around his belly but it usually takes two of us to "strap it", we all cracked up and the look on Doc's face was priceless!!

Kobi · 11-22-2014, 02:08 PM

This local internet ad:

For sale; the most useless piece of shit tablet I've ever seen. For $100 you can own this Windows 8.1 based tablet that refuses to open it's own apps, doesn't recognize a finger tap from a punch in the face, eats battery juice just because.

Surely someone out there needs a science project.

bright_arrow · 11-22-2014, 03:21 PM

Being told I'm weird because I said I put shredded cheese on ramen. Does no one else do this??

Fancy · 11-22-2014, 07:57 PM

This happened a week ago, but I'm still laughing. A piece of a convo with my son who keeps me in check:
Me trying to be funny: I love this rosary. Maybe I should be Catholic.
B: You don't need to be Catholic mom, you're fine the way you are.
Me: Awe! You win extra son points for that response!
B: Well you lost mom points for thinking you could be Catholic.

Kobi · 11-23-2014, 10:10 AM

Another local internet ad....

11-09-2014, 09:30 PM	#1121
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,109 Times in 3,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	We hosted dinner for two neighbors tonight...one 40 something lady and one middle 60's male farmer... During our after-dinner fellowship, the lady says to the farmer "I want to hook you up with my momma!"... The poor farmer's face turns red, he tips his hat forward...everybody's belly laughing hard, I ask him how many wives or almost wives did he have? He says THREE... The lady says, I think you and my momma would make a great match!!...the poor farmer, who's normally very laid back and quiet spoken, splurted out " WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CALL ME DADDY AND GET IT OVER WITH!!" OMG!!! we ROLLED laughing!!! __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

11-12-2014, 07:04 AM	#1122
SnackTime Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: UNattainable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Feeling the ocean breeze... Posts: 4,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,393 Thanked 13,229 Times in 2,884 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	This happened last night... The conversations that take place in chat... __________________ "There's something to be said for not saying anything"

11-12-2014, 10:37 AM	#1124
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,662 Times in 7,652 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	People dont normally do this? Im feeling dweebish, even tho Im not sure what that means. I always called my cat during the day and left messages for her. I even cslled when I was going to be home later than expected.

11-14-2014, 11:22 PM	#1126
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: in my heart I'm going to Carolina...but I'm in MA for now Posts: 7,574 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,882 Thanked 27,399 Times in 6,872 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	The affectionate and wondrously adoring looks my kitten reserves.....for the space heater...lol __________________

11-15-2014, 07:08 AM	#1127
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: in my heart I'm going to Carolina...but I'm in MA for now Posts: 7,574 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,882 Thanked 27,399 Times in 6,872 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I woke up this morning and looked in the living room... All my stuff from coming in from work is in a pile in the middle of the living room floor... It's like I only had enough energy to get THAT FAR...my bag my purse and my keys my shoes...just muddled there lol __________________

11-12-2014, 08:03 AM	#1123
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,523 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,737 Thanked 10,785 Times in 1,440 Posts Rep Power: 21474847	rolled out of bed with a rocket up my &^%*. sun is out, delightful day ahead, could hardly wait to get this party started. post socks, slipped my shoes on. and oh-my-gosh, it took me a half an hour to realize i had them on the wrong feet. (well, they were MY feet) wrong foot i should state. wow, still asleep is the only explanation. such a dweeb am i

11-14-2014, 11:03 AM	#1125
Fancy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: N/A Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: NY Posts: 3,742 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,696 Thanked 7,097 Times in 2,322 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I laughed so hard...

11-17-2014, 05:48 PM	#1128
A. Spectre Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch dominant lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She, Baby Boi Relationship Status: She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: North Shore Chicago Posts: 1,523 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,737 Thanked 10,785 Times in 1,440 Posts Rep Power: 21474847	there was a decent snowfall here today, so my neighbor dude and i both went awol from our responsibilities to sled in my back yard. he brought his red flyer and i had a saucer sled. there are trees to navigate around and with a thin layer of ice under the snow, there was a fair amount of velocity. the numerous times flying down the hill with no mishap came to a screeching halt when a tree decided to stick out a limb and tripped me. yes she did, i flipped and i flopped until i came to a stop. neighbor dude was laughing hysterically while i was rubbing the swelling redness that was my left cheek. after a few minutes, i joined in and could not stop laughing either. the tree enjoyed all of this as well.

11-17-2014, 07:19 PM	#1130
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,109 Times in 3,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Jokes with my roommate after work. I grew up in a house where we rarely laughed or knew laughter.... Now I'm very happy that my roommate and I frequently enjoy laughing and having stuff to crack up about. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

11-17-2014, 08:45 PM	#1131
candy_coated_bitch Pixie Stick How Do You Identify?: The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Happily taken. Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Northampton, MA Posts: 11,293 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,723 Thanked 32,098 Times in 6,125 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	The baby fridge. Don't even ask--you had to be there. __________________ My Etsy Shop My Patreon My Website

11-17-2014, 08:51 PM	#1132
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,109 Times in 3,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	A hilarious "phonetic slip" ... My buddy telling me a story about their grampa saying "let me tell you about how many hoes I rowed"....instead of how many rows he had hoed in the garden. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

11-17-2014, 10:07 PM	#1133
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,510 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,244 Times in 2,753 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Funny thing happened while eating dinner with my parents and 20 year old nephew. My nephew looks at my mother and tells her that Eminem is coming out with a new CD. My mom got all excited about it and asked him what it was called and I said wait, you like Eminem and she said yes! She said what's the big deal, you know how much I like Guns N roses. Mind you, my mother is 70. It was funny. __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

11-18-2014, 12:41 PM	#1134
CherryWine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The Deep South Posts: 2,491 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,060 Thanked 10,083 Times in 2,186 Posts Rep Power: 21474847	Things cats do that would be creepy if you did them

11-18-2014, 02:34 PM	#1135
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	On the back of Cherrywine's post I found these...

11-18-2014, 06:46 PM	#1136
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,109 Times in 3,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	When my new Ortho Doc and the Nurse were trying to wrap me into my new back brace...the tension as they tried "trouble shooting" and Doc was showing the Nurse "how to use the straps" amused me so much that I had to break the tension by saying "Dang!! This is like wrapping the Chihuahua up in his diaper!!" Doc made that OMG She did not just say that look..then cracked up!! Then the Nurse said "What's a Chihuahua diaper?" After I explained it was a velcro wrap that goes around his belly but it usually takes two of us to "strap it", we all cracked up and the look on Doc's face was priceless!! __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

11-22-2014, 02:08 PM	#1137
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,662 Times in 7,652 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	This local internet ad: For sale; the most useless piece of shit tablet I've ever seen. For $100 you can own this Windows 8.1 based tablet that refuses to open it's own apps, doesn't recognize a finger tap from a punch in the face, eats battery juice just because. Surely someone out there needs a science project.

11-22-2014, 03:21 PM	#1138
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: strong, independent, badass redhead Preferred Pronoun?: babygirl, buttercup, sugah Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: east bay, cali Posts: 2,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,643 Thanked 9,359 Times in 2,295 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Being told I'm weird because I said I put shredded cheese on ramen. Does no one else do this??

11-22-2014, 07:57 PM	#1139
Fancy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: N/A Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: NY Posts: 3,742 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,696 Thanked 7,097 Times in 2,322 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	This happened a week ago, but I'm still laughing. A piece of a convo with my son who keeps me in check: Me trying to be funny: I love this rosary. Maybe I should be Catholic. B: You don't need to be Catholic mom, you're fine the way you are. Me: Awe! You win extra son points for that response! B: Well you lost mom points for thinking you could be Catholic.

11-23-2014, 10:10 AM	#1140
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,662 Times in 7,652 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Another local internet ad....