My favorite post of the day

Reader · 09-30-2012, 10:34 AM

My favorite post of the day...

Posted by Martina, 09-26-2012, 03:42 AM, in the "Constant Craving ~ BDSM" thread

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...&postcount=890

This is completely unsolicited advice for anyone relatively new to kink.

Be yourself. Don't decide you are, for example a Daddy, and then look around and see what people think Daddies are and try to become that. You will lose yourself that way, if only for a while. It's also anxiety provoking and takes all the fun out of it. How much fun is kink when you aren't being authentic?

Get out there, be your normal everyday self. Do learn enough to not break the rules in a dungeon and to ask good questions of people. But basically be the you you are during all the rest of your life. Show up to whatever you plan to go to -- munches, play parties, whatever. Be real. Don't go goo goo ga ga over the first Dominant you meet. Treat them like you would anyone else -- with respect. But don't fawn. Be interested in them if you are. Don't just dump yourself at their feet. They're gonna just step over the mess on the floor and think wtf.

Likewise, don't go all Dominant on the first attractive sub you meet. If she has any experience, she'll be offended. If she doesn't, and you're new too, god help you (though I have seen that work out).

Seriously, you may be pushed hard by some real needs, but other people do not exist to meet them. They have their own lives. Also, most people out there are in it for relationships or at least authentic interactions, exchanges of quality. So if you have abandoned your authentic self to become some kind of whatever, Daddy, boi, babygirl, perfect sub, or Super Domme, you're not going to engage really decent people. They will be bored by the artiface. It just won't work. You'll waste a lot of time at the very least and probably have a bad experience or two.

Go out and be yourself. Talk to people as people. Play. Experiment. Let your leather identities evolve out of your real experiences. Don't tack them on in the beginning and try to perform them, just hoping that somehow something will happen and your needs will get met.

I have read in this very thread people saying that they will never get their heart's desire. Well, that makes no sense. I mean life is not fantasy. But everyone can get their kink needs met if they are able to form relationships of other types -- friends, lovers, etc. Unless your fantasy is illegal or involves aliens landing on the Golden Gate Bridge, what's preventing it from happening?

But be yourself or it really won't matter IF your fantasies come true because you won't be really present to enjoy them.

Reader · 10-02-2012, 08:37 PM

I should have named this thread MY FAVORITE POST OF THE DAY. Might an Admin change the title? I thought folks would post great posts from misc. threads here, but I'm the only one so far. Here's another....

Posted by UofMfan, 02-OCT-2012, Today, 07:29 PM, from the "Randomly Posting Stuff Cause You Feel Like It" thread

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ostcount=11695

Quote:

Originally Posted by UofMfan

Reader · 10-03-2012, 01:43 PM

Thanks for changing the title of this lonely little thread, Admin. I think it isn't even a thread...it may only be a strand of fiber dwindling in the breeze...

Ever find that one special post that makes you go "Yeah!" or "So true!" or "Damn, well said!"?

Well, if you find an especially good post, consider posting it here on the gently-used "My Favorite Post of the Day" thread.

lusciouskiwi · 10-03-2012, 05:02 PM

It's a great idea.

lusciouskiwi · 10-03-2012, 05:14 PM

This really touched me and made me think (from: Love is ...)

Dragonfly: 01-10-2010, 01:46 AM

Love is...
Love is a verb, not just a noun. Most people think of it as a noun. But it is like the word seat. You sit on a seat (n), or you Seat the customers. One is a word describing something the latter is the action of putting people in their seat.

When you say I love you to someone, it is a verb in that sentence. Its the actions you make. Things like giving a massage to ease their pain, celebrating special days, and even just working on the relationship talking. They are all actions that show love. Everything you put in the category of things you do FOR that loved one to Show your feelings. Love just isnt some vague undefined feeling that there are never enough words to describe... the feelings are different for everyone so the dictionary references as a noun are only a foundation basic explanation. Love used as a noun is subjective and interpretation is different for everyone. So if it isn't something you can touch like a seat... how is it real?

For me it is because Love as a verb is factual. Tangible. Really easy to prove because as a verb, the actions are the proof. You experience it as it happens outside of one's mind and in the real world. Love as a verb is what makes love real. If its not a verb, then when it is used as a noun we would all think of it (world wide) as a FICTIONAL or Mythological thing.

Most of the world can recognize a fictional character or make believe item like invisibility cloak of Harry Potter for example. Author imagined and not "real". Maybe the subject and plot had realistic aspects, it was make believe by Rowlings and she gets paid a lot of money too I might add. Love is not supposed to be in this category is it?

Love is a verb for me.
__________________
Stay Gold.

macele · 10-03-2012, 05:29 PM

this made me laugh -- gaea

Reader · 10-04-2012, 01:39 PM

Posted by ANYA 04-OCT-2012, 01:39 PM in the "Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?" thread:

Quote:

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

True story.....it was a first meeting with someone I had been talking to (via email/chat/text) and she happened to live in my city. Our first "meeting" was a lunch bar so it was pretty casual, and last minute I might add. Impulsive as I see it in hindsight, but I digress. She openly told me about her last relationship then proceeded to ask me how many women I had been in relationships with. I was a tad bashful but I said how many. She said, to me then, "you're a low mileage lesbian"

Ok, so now what? that was about 7 months ago, and the last time I spoke to her......

Should I make that my handle if I try another dating site?

*Anya*

That is the funniest thing I have read in a while and never heard that before!

Low miles and gently used?!

Would keep that for a chuckle, not a handle

__________________
~Anya

Only from the heart can you touch the sky
Jalaluddin Rumi~

09-30-2012, 10:34 AM	#1
Reader Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Butch, Dyke, Feminist, Contrarian Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Single Join Date: May 2011 Location: New Jersey, The Garden State Posts: 732 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,308 Thanked 2,229 Times in 586 Posts Rep Power: 0	My favorite post of the day My favorite post of the day... Posted by Martina, 09-26-2012, 03:42 AM, in the "Constant Craving ~ BDSM" thread http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...&postcount=890 This is completely unsolicited advice for anyone relatively new to kink. Be yourself. Don't decide you are, for example a Daddy, and then look around and see what people think Daddies are and try to become that. You will lose yourself that way, if only for a while. It's also anxiety provoking and takes all the fun out of it. How much fun is kink when you aren't being authentic? Get out there, be your normal everyday self. Do learn enough to not break the rules in a dungeon and to ask good questions of people. But basically be the you you are during all the rest of your life. Show up to whatever you plan to go to -- munches, play parties, whatever. Be real. Don't go goo goo ga ga over the first Dominant you meet. Treat them like you would anyone else -- with respect. But don't fawn. Be interested in them if you are. Don't just dump yourself at their feet. They're gonna just step over the mess on the floor and think wtf. Likewise, don't go all Dominant on the first attractive sub you meet. If she has any experience, she'll be offended. If she doesn't, and you're new too, god help you (though I have seen that work out). Seriously, you may be pushed hard by some real needs, but other people do not exist to meet them. They have their own lives. Also, most people out there are in it for relationships or at least authentic interactions, exchanges of quality. So if you have abandoned your authentic self to become some kind of whatever, Daddy, boi, babygirl, perfect sub, or Super Domme, you're not going to engage really decent people. They will be bored by the artiface. It just won't work. You'll waste a lot of time at the very least and probably have a bad experience or two. Go out and be yourself. Talk to people as people. Play. Experiment. Let your leather identities evolve out of your real experiences. Don't tack them on in the beginning and try to perform them, just hoping that somehow something will happen and your needs will get met. I have read in this very thread people saying that they will never get their heart's desire. Well, that makes no sense. I mean life is not fantasy. But everyone can get their kink needs met if they are able to form relationships of other types -- friends, lovers, etc. Unless your fantasy is illegal or involves aliens landing on the Golden Gate Bridge, what's preventing it from happening? But be yourself or it really won't matter IF your fantasies come true because you won't be really present to enjoy them. Last edited by Linus; 10-03-2012 at 04:45 AM.

10-03-2012, 05:02 PM	#4
lusciouskiwi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme lesbian feminist Preferred Pronoun?: Anything except for "aunty" Relationship Status: Happy with my butch. Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Aotearoa New Zealand Posts: 2,681 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 25,494 Thanked 9,096 Times in 1,899 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	It's a great idea. __________________ happiness is a form of courage. George Holbrook Jackson Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. Katherine Mansfield Motivate yourself or be miserable. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. Wayne Dyer

10-03-2012, 05:14 PM	#5
lusciouskiwi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme lesbian feminist Preferred Pronoun?: Anything except for "aunty" Relationship Status: Happy with my butch. Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Aotearoa New Zealand Posts: 2,681 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 25,494 Thanked 9,096 Times in 1,899 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	This really touched me and made me think (from: Love is ...) Dragonfly: 01-10-2010, 01:46 AM Love is... Love is a verb, not just a noun. Most people think of it as a noun. But it is like the word seat. You sit on a seat (n), or you Seat the customers. One is a word describing something the latter is the action of putting people in their seat. When you say I love you to someone, it is a verb in that sentence. Its the actions you make. Things like giving a massage to ease their pain, celebrating special days, and even just working on the relationship talking. They are all actions that show love. Everything you put in the category of things you do FOR that loved one to Show your feelings. Love just isnt some vague undefined feeling that there are never enough words to describe... the feelings are different for everyone so the dictionary references as a noun are only a foundation basic explanation. Love used as a noun is subjective and interpretation is different for everyone. So if it isn't something you can touch like a seat... how is it real? For me it is because Love as a verb is factual. Tangible. Really easy to prove because as a verb, the actions are the proof. You experience it as it happens outside of one's mind and in the real world. Love as a verb is what makes love real. If its not a verb, then when it is used as a noun we would all think of it (world wide) as a FICTIONAL or Mythological thing. Most of the world can recognize a fictional character or make believe item like invisibility cloak of Harry Potter for example. Author imagined and not "real". Maybe the subject and plot had realistic aspects, it was make believe by Rowlings and she gets paid a lot of money too I might add. Love is not supposed to be in this category is it? Love is a verb for me. __________________ Stay Gold. __________________ happiness is a form of courage. George Holbrook Jackson Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. Katherine Mansfield Motivate yourself or be miserable. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. Wayne Dyer

10-03-2012, 01:43 PM	#3
Reader Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Butch, Dyke, Feminist, Contrarian Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Single Join Date: May 2011 Location: New Jersey, The Garden State Posts: 732 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,308 Thanked 2,229 Times in 586 Posts Rep Power: 0	Thanks for changing the title of this lonely little thread, Admin. I think it isn't even a thread...it may only be a strand of fiber dwindling in the breeze... Ever find that one special post that makes you go "Yeah!" or "So true!" or "Damn, well said!"? Well, if you find an especially good post, consider posting it here on the gently-used "My Favorite Post of the Day" thread.

10-03-2012, 05:29 PM	#6
macele Member How Do You Identify?: a bold-assed maximus Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: mississippi Posts: 1,066 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,178 Thanked 3,238 Times in 849 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	this made me laugh -- gaea