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Old 10-14-2012, 11:48 AM   #641
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While at the cabin last week with my parents. We were ready to go out for the day. Daddy and I are ready to go....Mom says let me go to the bathroom before we leave............................................. ...

WHICH ONE OF YALL SHUT THE LID ON THE TOILET!
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Old 10-14-2012, 07:07 PM   #642
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Default Pizza Time...

Grandson is holding his pizza out and then it flips down except for where he's holding it near the crust...

ju: I don't want this anymore *sad face*
my daughter: Why not?
ju: It's bent. *pout*
daughter: (trying not to laugh) Bent?
ju: It broke and fell down. I can't eat it! *angry face*
daughter: We can get another piece that's not broke.
ju: I think I want cake! *huge smile*

He's priceless... and so are his words!!
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Old 10-14-2012, 11:55 PM   #643
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A txt with my Iowa bff...no that item is no longer in my "tool kit" ...but I'm pretty sure I won't be needing it...impressive memory tho
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Old 10-15-2012, 12:45 AM   #644
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Watching the guy next to me on the ferry play Bad Piggies. I was rolling
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:52 AM   #645
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The verbal exchange between two store clerks and an ex clerk. The ex clerk had me laughing so freakin bad I just blurted out "You're awesome! I've been having a rough start to my day and you just helped to change that!"
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:30 PM   #646
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Default

Okay so sitting quietly after staff exchange with the other lesbian staff who is coming on shift duty. Both of us are kind of quiet and I was nodding in and out of nappishness (true word)... and didn't realize she was too.

A new kid is on her cell phone and neither of us are totally paying attention to her end of the conversation till we both raise our heads, look at each other and the other staff says,

her: I only got part of that. What did you get?
me: I think I only got part of it too...?
her: I got the part about she only likes cats. *puzzled look*
me: Well, that explains a lot because the part I got was "Those hetero couples seem to have a thing for dogs."
her: hmmm *closes eyes again*
me: yeh *closes eyes again*

The little lesbian is 18... We later assessed she must like pussy... she likes cats. hee hee

Disclaimer: I know the non-heteros like dogs too. Just laugh with me. It was a ha ha moment damnit!!
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:40 PM   #647
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Working with my bosses, we were taking down lights they were bulky and heavy and it took 4 of us to take down four Halogen lights. We are all struggling trying to balance the boom lights so one guy says hey pass the Dykes, I looked up at him and said hey! Watch it buster, we all bust out laughing and the light got heavier cause were laughing hard, one of the guys was from corp office and he kind of just looked straight forward trying to act like he didn't hear my comment, which made the 3 of us laugh even harder... After the 4th guy left I said, oppps forgot about the big boss, they laughed and said yeah we gotta watch ourselves, we tease each other all day and sometimes we forget ourselves around others.... The forth guy comes back and says where is the damn dykes and I yelled from the other room ... Im in here and then the laughing began again and the boom light crashed... Oppps my bad.
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:46 PM   #648
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Default

What cracked me up to day was wondering what my cat was pondering as she so intensely watched me scoop the littler box.

"Damn, I worked so long to bury that."

"Does she keep it?"

"Where did I leave that feather?"

"I wish to hell she'd hurry up already!"

"This explains why I've been going in the same place for years and it never fills up."
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Old 10-18-2012, 05:15 AM   #649
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Default Socks!!

Socks cracked me up.... and almost made my blood pressure blow!
LMAO!!

Because I moved, I'm "living out of" duffel bags and laundry buckets..
So I start packing my after-work clothes to go hiking this evening...
Start stressing because I couldn't find my socks...
Start searching duffel bags and buckets...
Stressing more running out of time...
Thinking OMG!!! All that planning and packing and I didn't bring SOCKS!!
yanking stuff out of buckets...
turning duffel bags upside down on bed...
"OMG!! Really? ..... Ugggg!!"
then........
I look down....
the black ones I was looking for and apparently the only pair I brought with me where on my feet!!


My blood pressure busted and I found them on my feet!!
just then, I got a text from a supportive friend.."It's time to lay back down!" ...

HOW TRUE!!
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Old 10-18-2012, 05:19 AM   #650
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a quote from a book i'm reading:

“Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth”

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Old 10-18-2012, 07:36 PM   #651
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Getting ready for work in the dark...
Getting to work and half way through the day, noticing I had to different color tennis shoes as well as socks on. Everyone knows I like odd, I am odd, so no one bothered to say anything to me. Until... The same upper management guy stopped dead in his tracks turned and his face became beat read when I walking around with a pair of dikes wire cutters in my hand. And he said, please, please, please don't say dykes...

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Old 10-18-2012, 07:54 PM   #652
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaze View Post
I walking around with a pair of dikes wire cutters in my hand. And he said, please, please, please don't say dykes...
I was raised around my dad doing electrical work, calling wire cutters "dikes". And decades later, he still loves making puns around that (no point in trying to explain to him that I don't consider myself a dyke).

Me? Cracking up watching Keeping the Faith for the kazillionth time. Certain scenes make me laugh every time. Yeah, I'm a dork.
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Old 10-18-2012, 08:13 PM   #653
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Upcoming presentations at work and a co worker says to me "this ain't your first time at this goat rodeo".

How can I look those 24 people in the face and not crack up?
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:48 PM   #654
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trev View Post
Upcoming presentations at work and a co worker says to me "this ain't your first time at this goat rodeo".

How can I look those 24 people in the face and not crack up?
Underwear time!!
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Old 10-25-2012, 08:00 AM   #655
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Old 10-26-2012, 08:20 PM   #656
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Tonight, I was meeting some friends at a restaurant for dinner.
I was walking in behind a couple, not in my group. The female stopped at the door and her male counterpart opened the door for her. Then as I was behind them, he held it for me too. Which put me between him and his date. It was a double door walkway. Now, she's been talking away this whole time, has no clue that I have entered the picture. She steps aside for him to open the next door. But I'm the one behind her. I waited a second and saw that she was going to keep talking while she waited for the door to be opened for her. So I reached around and opened it for her. She sees it's not the arm she expected to see and looked at me with the most startled look. I just smiled and held the door for her. Then he reached over and took the door from me and we both went in.

Maybe you had to be there but I thought it was a riot. Especially when recounting the story to my friends, who were seated next to the door and watched it all happen.
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Old 10-27-2012, 06:26 AM   #657
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Default my brain hurts

3 guys named
WHAT,
WHY,
WHEN
were talkin

WHAT:WHY what r u doing?

WHY:i dont know what iam doing.

WHAT:why?

WHY:why r u caling me? what?

WHAT:now why did u cal me?

WHY:what! When did i cal u?

WHEN:in ur problem why r u callin me?

WHY:what? did i cal u? When?

WHAT & WHEN: what

WHEN:why r u caling urself?

WHY: did i cal myself, when?

WHEN:what?

WHAT:why did u cal me? Dont ask when?

WHY & WHEN: what ?
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Old 10-27-2012, 06:49 AM   #658
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stone4play View Post
Okay so sitting quietly after staff exchange with the other lesbian staff who is coming on shift duty. Both of us are kind of quiet and I was nodding in and out of nappishness (true word)... and didn't realize she was too.

A new kid is on her cell phone and neither of us are totally paying attention to her end of the conversation till we both raise our heads, look at each other and the other staff says,

her: I only got part of that. What did you get?
me: I think I only got part of it too...?
her: I got the part about she only likes cats. *puzzled look*
me: Well, that explains a lot because the part I got was "Those hetero couples seem to have a thing for dogs."
her: hmmm *closes eyes again*
me: yeh *closes eyes again*

The little lesbian is 18... We later assessed she must like pussy... she likes cats. hee hee

Disclaimer: I know the non-heteros like dogs too. Just laugh with me. It was a ha ha moment damnit!!
you make me miss having co-workers.....lol
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Old 10-27-2012, 07:41 PM   #659
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rook View Post
3 guys named
WHAT,
WHY,
WHEN
were talkin

WHAT:WHY what r u doing?

WHY:i dont know what iam doing.

WHAT:why?

WHY:why r u caling me? what?

WHAT:now why did u cal me?

WHY:what! When did i cal u?

WHEN:in ur problem why r u callin me?

WHY:what? did i cal u? When?

WHAT & WHEN: what

WHEN:why r u caling urself?

WHY: did i cal myself, when?

WHEN:what?

WHAT:why did u cal me? Dont ask when?

WHY & WHEN: what ?
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Old 10-31-2012, 04:14 AM   #660
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