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08-06-2010, 04:40 AM
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#3541 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: .
Posts: 5,530
Thanks: 4,478
Thanked 12,949 Times in 3,419 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856   |
The doctor managing my weight loss programme suggested I see a counselor for weight related issues, etc. - something I resisted but finally agreed to a few months ago and I am glad I did.
She has been giving me writing assignments lately - she wants me to write down things I remember from the past and try to relate it to what is going on in my life right now. This isn't something I was looking forward to and in my own little rebellious way I wasn't really doing this...facing bad/ugly/negative/painful things is just something no one (especially me) wants to do. My way of handling things like this has been to push is back/down/aside and plod on. Unfortunately that strategy has done more harm than good over the years. The other day when I came in from work I was completely unsettled - from overload not from work stress. I sat down and did an hour of free writing. OMG, talk about word vomit! Have not gone back to read the 6 pages and will not for a while because I know the temptation to tear it out of the book and throw it away will be great. Still I am glad I did this because it opened part of me to something else. We all have our own special head trash - those negative thoughts/memories that suddenly appear for whatever reason during the day. Being no exception there are days I have way more of these moments than others. The old way of dealing with them has been the old push back/down/aside. Yesterday I decided to write them down as they waltzed through my brain. Am including the source/cause of the item too. Geez, some of that stuff sure is stupid, petty and minor. But they certainly have had their effect over the years. I gave them so much power over me...Perhaps by writing them down they will leave my brain - you know like in Harry Potter when they collect memories... or I will learn how to deal with them in a healthier way. It will be interesting to see what my counselor has to say about some of this stuff. Doubt any of it will be new to her. Don't have any conclusions about this - too soon - but it has been interesting. |
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08-06-2010, 05:09 AM
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#3542 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Girlie with a touch of bossy Preferred Pronoun?:
She, but not hung up on the details Relationship Status:
Parenting our furry family with SmoothButch  Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 385
Thanks: 772
Thanked 963 Times in 257 Posts
Rep Power: 4366970 |
That it's Friday. That change is in the air. That as scary as it is, I'm also ready for it and the new challenges it will bring. That I used a lot of "that" in this post.
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08-06-2010, 11:43 AM
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#3543 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
bemused butch Preferred Pronoun?:
polite ones, please Relationship Status:
single butch 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: my little butch house
Posts: 988
Thanks: 2,789
Thanked 1,568 Times in 620 Posts
Rep Power: 14094253 |
Looking forward to this weekend with my family.
I've been feeling a bit off lately - - - the summer got off to a promising start (romantically and healthwise) but now it seems things have just gone totally south. My nephew got a job that he enjoys. The problem? I drive him to and from work each day - he works about 1/2 hour away. The drive is no problem - it is the getting up at 4:30 or 5am. I'm either dragging for the rest of the day or else I just crash and sleep the day away - - repeat for 6 days. OMG - I'd dead tired and I'm not even the one working! My job hunt has been put on hold. As have been my workouts. And I'm feeling very blah because of this. I'm trying not to get down on myself about it but it does bother me - - even though the scale shows no difference I feel the pounds trying to creep back on. I want to go to the Reunion!!! Financially things are tight. There is a slim chance I can go - but the waiting is so difficult. Romantically? I always laughed when a friend said he was bad boyfriend material - it sounded like an excuse of him to behave badly or just not try. I try.....but.....it seems that I am bad boyfriend material. *sigh* So I'm really looking forward to the family time this weekend. My sister and I will be hanging out with a brother and a SIL and some friends. I got to visit with some of them last weekend - - - but not long enough. This weekend will be a longer visit. Which is just what I think I need. I felt so better - - it seemed my energy was renewed and my mood was better. Maybe I'll be able go get some advice (or even a kick in the behind would be good at this point!) - - advice, insight, pity - - I don't know but being able to just talk and laugh and not worry about stuff for a couple days is very welcome at this point. |
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08-06-2010, 07:13 PM
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#3544 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Mr Mtn's babygirl Preferred Pronoun?:
girly, she Relationship Status:
fiercely protected ♥ 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Moving home in OR with Him VERY soooon !!
Posts: 2,548
Thanks: 4,834
Thanked 7,501 Times in 1,850 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
i've done a lot of soul searching today
some good, some not so good.. but, it's all a moving forward process, and that in itself is a very good thing.. ♥
__________________
my Mantra: i am letting go of angers, continuing to find forgiveness, welcoming inner peace & deserving of it all. my facebook weight loss page:
http://www.facebook.com/asyllyjourney |
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08-06-2010, 07:17 PM
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#3545 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
fem Preferred Pronoun?:
femme, she, her, baby, sweetie Relationship Status:
holding my heart close and putting back up a wall 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: california, palm springs
Posts: 994
Thanks: 206
Thanked 719 Times in 350 Posts
Rep Power: 4115670 |
about where my life is going and how people I thought were my friends are not my friends, my family, money issues and so much more.
__________________
Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Jim Rohn |
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08-06-2010, 08:15 PM
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#3546 |
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Timed Out - TOS Drama
How Do You Identify?:
.. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ..
Posts: 3,471
Thanks: 292
Thanked 2,646 Times in 1,293 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
How much I love pancakes
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08-06-2010, 08:47 PM
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#3547 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?:
Male pronouns Relationship Status:
Relationship
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,329
Thanks: 4,090
Thanked 3,907 Times in 1,032 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
As unimportant as it is...that I really need to go in for a hair cut. I keep putting it off, but now it's starting to rest weirdly/annoyingly on the back of my neck. In the summer, in this heat...niet goed
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08-06-2010, 09:49 PM
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#3548 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Babe, she, her, ella 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,374
Thanks: 10,594
Thanked 6,524 Times in 1,697 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Wondering what I was thinking...wait...is that a senior moment? Oh my goodness! Hot flashes and now this!
__________________
. . . . . Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you ~Nathaniel Hawthorne |
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08-06-2010, 10:42 PM
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#3549 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer..femme.. .babygirl...girl Preferred Pronoun?:
Female Ones... Relationship Status:
Enjoying life but ready to meet someone Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 3,945
Thanks: 12,015
Thanked 12,476 Times in 3,357 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854  |
a tiger.... and a key...
__________________
Previously known as MidnightBlueEyes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://gailsforum.files.wordpress.co...-psd340941.png |
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08-06-2010, 10:56 PM
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#3550 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
. 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: .
Posts: 1,858
Thanks: 2,258
Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
not a fuckin thing
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08-06-2010, 10:59 PM
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#3551 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Trans man Preferred Pronoun?:
He, Him Relationship Status:
not looking 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Northern England
Posts: 945
Thanks: 5,669
Thanked 2,383 Times in 765 Posts
Rep Power: 17762094 |
I could well be the luckiest and most loved butch dyke on this side of the pond ...
__________________
You may not be able to choose your bio-family, but you can choose your Family
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08-06-2010, 11:55 PM
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#3552 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
No 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: PNW
Posts: 823
Thanks: 1,387
Thanked 2,315 Times in 428 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
Old and Grouchy
After pulling four double shifts, with four more to go...what isnt on my mind.
I'm cranky and cant sleep...someone is racing..squealing tires and revving their engine somewhere in the neighborhood and now the cat is on a rip-roaring tear. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr 
Last edited by Boots13; 08-06-2010 at 11:56 PM. Reason: I didnt shoot the cat...jes sayin |
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08-07-2010, 08:14 AM
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#3553 |
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Magically Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Gentle Butch Relationship Status:
Single and content 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6,558
Thanks: 22,052
Thanked 15,407 Times in 4,139 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Not only does my sore throat feel better today,
but we have more pressure for hot water than we've had since we moved here Showers are much more enjoyable now 
__________________
 Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage --- Lao Tzo
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08-07-2010, 08:58 AM
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#3554 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Old Poop Preferred Pronoun?:
Mr. Beast Relationship Status:
Happily Married Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 3,501
Thanks: 10,793
Thanked 9,864 Times in 2,473 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
On my mind is getting Myra and Ivan's big frog house cleaned, finishing the packing and getting a fresh
 . Tomorrow......  I'm going to be missing my  's.  I should take them with. .gif "Say What?") No, they'd get airsick. Better let them stay with Pop.  ~Theo~ 
__________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost." -- J. R. R. Tolkien
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08-07-2010, 09:26 AM
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#3555 |
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Joy Seeker
How Do You Identify?:
Smartly-Flavored Preferred Pronoun?:
Goddess Relationship Status:
Mrs. Syzygy 1/9/14 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Joyville, NM (aka Land of Enchantment)
Posts: 10,140
Thanks: 13,636
Thanked 28,131 Times in 6,414 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
On my mind this morning are things I need to accomplish and how to find the time to do that.
OH, and tea. I've been thinking a lot about tea lately. |
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08-07-2010, 09:34 AM
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#3556 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Princess Relationship Status:
Single, but sociable 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Mount Airy, NC
Posts: 4,226
Thanks: 14,554
Thanked 9,667 Times in 2,484 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Abby is just wishing that she had a fairy Godmother, so she could attend the ball (reunion) lol
__________________
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust Turns whatever happens to you into a positive...  |
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08-07-2010, 11:46 AM
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#3557 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,587
Thanks: 182,179
Thanked 108,771 Times in 25,659 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
It's time for breakfast and to get up and out of here!
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08-07-2010, 11:55 AM
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#3558 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Babe, she, her, ella
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,374
Thanks: 10,594
Thanked 6,524 Times in 1,697 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Venting so hold onto your hats!
How ridiculously selfish some people are.
I mean really, is it crazy to expect someone to respect you if you show them the same? Is it crazy to expect truth from someone if you give them that? Is it crazy to think that they will eventually understand the level of courtesy you show them and yet they don't!? And that's just the friends! And don't let me get started on monogamy and exclusivity...ha! ((Big cleansingandlettingitallgo sigh))...oh well...I'm not wasting time on that...I got things to do (retail therapy sounds excellent right about now)...no use crying over spilled milk, or toxic people. I'm going shopping!
__________________
. . . . . Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you ~Nathaniel Hawthorne |
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08-07-2010, 11:58 AM
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#3559 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: .
Posts: 5,530
Thanks: 4,478
Thanked 12,949 Times in 3,419 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
It was a good week until right before I left the office last evening. My boss is going to be out of the office Mon and Tues next week and I wanted double check with her about 2 things I needed to take care of on Monday.
I did this; got my answer and then, with a sour look on her face, she states "You know to call ___, ___ and ___ if you have any problems." This insult is a reference to an incident in March where a client's bad behaviour outside the office spilled over into our office and the end result was that the boss hung it all on me even though I had nothing to do with what had happened. All the damage was done before the client called the office. My sin was 2 voice mails left for the boss about 3 hours apart (explaining what had happened and requesting a return phone call) neither of which she got until a couple days later. The day she returned to the office she laid me open over it wondering aloud if she needed to ask someone to "babysit" me when she was out of town. (Never mind that when I first came to work for her she was able to leave the office for several days at a time for various reasons including the sudden death of her mother-in-law.) No, this client's behaviour caused her great embarassment at the courthouse and how that was my fault remains a mystery. (Compare this to the multi-vehicle chain reaction rear-end collision in which the last car in the wreck gets the blame regardless of the fact that the lead car suddenly slammed on the brakes and caused the darn thing in the first place.) Geez, I am getting upset all over again just writing this. Guess she has selective short term memory issues forgetting that a month ago she was able to go out of town on vacation for an entire week without incident. Apparently the vote of no confidence in me she cast in March stands. Never mind the fact that yesterday at 4:58 pm on a Friday she came to me to ask about witnesses subpoenaed for a trial on Wed. and the instruction to contact a medical office to determine whether or not another physician was involved in something crucial to our case. Never mind that without looking in the file I could rattle off the list of who we subpoenaed and whether or not they had been served. Never mind that at 5:04 pm on that same Friday I was on the phone with the medical office and subsequently the doctor we subpoenaed. Never mind the fact that I was, in less than 10 minutes and with one phone call, able to get the answer to her question. Never mind the fact that I could offer her the chance to speak to the doctor, whose notes she had been reviewing for a great deal of that very afternoon, in case she needed to ask her something - she didn't. Never mind the fact that she could go into her long weekend knowing that this was no longer an issue. Never mind the fact that I exercised a little personal initiative by going ahead and placing this call (there was absolutely nothing to lose) rather than waiting until Monday as she expected. Did I mention the fact that there was not even a "thank you" for going ahead and taking care of this? Unless you consider "You know to call ___, ___ and ___ if you have any problems." an expression of appreciation. Anyone venture to guess what my therapist and I will be talking about on Thursday? |
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08-07-2010, 12:17 PM
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#3560 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?:
I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status:
Still loving my Mare ;) 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,683
Thanks: 1,343
Thanked 11,425 Times in 2,978 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
 My little boy is getting big. His stripes are becoming more prominent. *sniff* They grow up so fast. *wiping tear*
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