View Full Version : what NOT to do in a relationship.......
msW8ing
04-13-2011, 01:27 PM
YES!!! Nobody wants to live with the "ghosts of relationships past" or hear constantly about how and what your ex did. I am NOT them nor do I wish to be compared to them. Don't keep talking about your ex for Goddess sake! I would like to respect that relationship but if you keeping bringing them up it no longer appears you are over it!
Duchess
04-13-2011, 07:30 PM
Don't cheat or play people. The shit will eventually hit the fan.:seeingstars:
Duchess
I have done so many "NOTS" that I am still looking for the "what TO do in a relationship" thread...
The only thing I know for sure NOT to do, is...
Do NOT think for a minute that anything is the same as any past relationship. Every day and every event is new and just because past experiences had (A) result, this new one is completely different and may have (B) result.
Trying open-mindedness is always the best answer for me regarding relationships. That... and faith.
Good luck folks!
girl_dee
04-13-2011, 07:45 PM
I have done so many "NOTS" that I am still looking for the "what TO do in a relationship" thread...
Good luck folks!
OK I'll start a thread :)
Duchess
04-13-2011, 07:48 PM
OK I'll start a thread :)
YAYYYYY!!!! Hey Sassy baby. :)
Soft*Silver
04-13-2011, 08:25 PM
dont be in a relationship with two women at the same time. I dont care who the other woman is. If its your mother, your coworker, an actress, an infactuation, an ex, or yourself...make sure your GF knows she is your one and only girl in your life, at least the only girl in the relationship with you....
dont be in a relationship with two women at the same time. I dont care who the other woman is. If its your mother, your coworker, an actress, an infactuation, an ex, or yourself...make sure your GF knows she is your one and only girl in your life, at least the only girl in the relationship with you....
May I just say, "WORD."?
Daktari
04-14-2011, 05:51 AM
Don't make her be your 'everything', it's too much responsibility for one person. Have a life away from the relationship too.
Dont' make promises you will not be able to keep throughout the relationship. (Don't make promises - no one can live up to them, not even you). Don't say; "OH Honey you shouldn't have spent so much money on flowers, candy, dinner, jewelry, perfume, etc." - they will stop buying these things anyway as time goes by - so enjoy it while you can. No matter how hard you try - you can't keep the happy beginnings! And there are no happy endings. Play and be happy while you can! Enjoy the love while it is there! Then move on with your life - always stay *you*. The true you.
girl_dee
04-14-2011, 07:25 AM
dont be in a relationship with two women at the same time. I dont care who the other woman is. If its your mother, your coworker, an actress, an infactuation, an ex, or yourself...make sure your GF knows she is your one and only girl in your life, at least the only girl in the relationship with you....
I cannot tell you how true this is! Why do people think their partner deserves anything less that first on the list? You can have all of these others in your life but when you put their needs before your partner's needs, you royally just screwed up. It sends a message "You are not important to me"
The_Lady_Snow
04-14-2011, 07:52 AM
Don't pretend to have a life threatening disease!!
Random
04-14-2011, 07:54 AM
dont be in a relationship with two women at the same time. I dont care who the other woman is. If its your mother, your coworker, an actress, an infactuation, an ex, or yourself...make sure your GF knows she is your one and only girl in your life, at least the only girl in the relationship with you....
Could you elaborate on what you mean by this?
What I'm reading is that your partner needs to come before yourself?
I'm just wondering, because the way that I look at it.. Making any relationship more important than the relationship you have with yourself doesn't sound very healthy. People can come and go... You always have yourself.
girl_dee
04-14-2011, 08:06 AM
Don't tell me how much you LOVE me :awww:
Then ask me to change. :sadangel:
girl_dee
04-14-2011, 08:27 AM
Don't buy things for him/her then that against him/her. Ouch.
JustJo
04-14-2011, 08:35 AM
Don't tell me how much you LOVE me :awww:
Then ask me to change. :sadangel:
Oh heck yea! This one makes me :seeingstars:
If you decided to be with me, fell in love with me, whatever....because I'm me...then why would you want me to be different?
We all have to make some little adjustments to accomodate the one we love....but if we're talking fundamental changes, then I'm thinking I was a convenient warm body, not "the one" for you.
girl_dee
04-14-2011, 08:44 AM
Oh heck yea! This one makes me :seeingstars:
If you decided to be with me, fell in love with me, whatever....because I'm me...then why would you want me to be different?
We all have to make some little adjustments to accomodate the one we love....but if we're talking fundamental changes, then I'm thinking I was a convenient warm body, not "the one" for you.
Exactly.......
Daktari
04-14-2011, 09:24 AM
Don't pretend to have a life threatening disease!!
Jeepers! Do folks really do that?
Arwen
04-14-2011, 11:01 AM
Harp at me
Nitpick my ways
Denigrate me
Rehash that argument you said was over
Listen to gossip without clarifying it with me
Speak evil of me to others
Mock me
As always, I promise to do the same for you.
P.S. These are all past, not present lessons. :) And, amazingly enough, they apply to my friendships as well.
msW8ing
04-14-2011, 07:39 PM
Don't be thier option while making them a priority
BullDog
04-14-2011, 10:37 PM
Don't go around referring to someone as your partner if you don't really mean it.
Soft*Silver
04-14-2011, 10:59 PM
dontcha even THINK I am getting fat if you are busting out of your own granny panties....
Admin
04-14-2011, 11:21 PM
Hey Y'all,
Just a reminder about posting in this thread (and this isn't necessarily directed at any of the recent posters, although it certainly applies to everyone)- We need to keep things very general in here, especially if you are currently dating or have dated anyone who is a member of this site. We wouldn't want any ugly feelings for anyone here - So please consider when posting, if you wouldn't want it said about you, don't post it.
Remember, don't poke at or pick at your exes here! (unless you want a little vacation ;) )
Thanks all,
Admin
msW8ing
04-14-2011, 11:49 PM
Don't go into the relationship thinking " I can change this or that" . For Goddess sake. You fell in love with them for who they are (positives and negatives) NOT for what you think they should be.
foxyshaman
05-06-2011, 10:54 AM
Don't EVER EVER turn your head from your "joyful ministrations" when you hear the crack of a well hit baseball during a game in the world series. Nope don't ever do that <again>. :canadian::nerd::shocking:
Don't assume the worst, and secondly, just don't assume
Chazz
05-07-2011, 03:30 PM
Don't sell her blood without telling her.
:|
Daktari
05-07-2011, 03:58 PM
Don't, whatever you do, decant lube from that industrial sized bottle into a smaller one that looks exactly like the bottle of antiseptic handwash that also lives on the bedside table...She really won't thank you! :blink:
Miss Scarlett
05-07-2011, 03:59 PM
Do not allow yourself to be treated like an ATM...
Don't create a relationship with winners and losers. Relationships are between winners who seek answers to problems together.
RNguy
11-19-2011, 10:20 PM
Seeing this thread reminds me of this what not to do in a relationship : don't take your love for your spouse , partner , significant other what have it , really, anyone that you love in general for granted because you never know when that person will leave this world. I say this as a trauma nurse that witnesses the reality of watching my patients loved ones stand over them and grieve and I hear this a lot " I should have ..... Or if only I didn't ..... Or said..... " it is sad to watch but also hits the heart as a reminder ....... Peace , RNguy
Tommi
11-19-2011, 10:41 PM
*Don't pick yer nose n eat it. ________In front of her.
*sex is easy, relationships are icebergs, and they roll over
*glass 1/2 full ~ 1/2 empty.
I'm not real good at the do's n dont's
tt6digvuLsk
girl_dee
11-20-2011, 06:12 AM
Don't lose each other.
Lazy Daze
11-20-2011, 08:13 AM
Don't let your past relationships get in the way of the present
Don't let the little things ruin your relationship, and remember its ALL little things
Don't forget to laugh together
Don't forget to say I love you
Gemme
11-20-2011, 12:37 PM
Don't critcize your partner's driving while you are in the car.
:eyebrow:
VintageFemme
11-20-2011, 12:43 PM
I'm single for a reason. *insert chagrin here* So I'm taking really good notes from this thread!
Thanks y'all! ;)
Stay with the topic
Don’t use a current concern as a reason to jump into everything that bothers you.
Miss July
11-21-2011, 01:59 PM
Don't EVER be some one's door mat to just lay down & take their crap.
SoNotHer
11-21-2011, 03:23 PM
Don't make someone feel like a "placer holder" or "person of interest - at the moment." Better yet, don't date someone you know is a "place holder."
Don't ask for something you are not prepared to give in full measure.
And most importantly, don't say one thing and do another.
Don't lose yourself in a relationship.
CockyDude
11-21-2011, 08:06 PM
Don't make someone feel like a "placer holder" or "person of interest - at the moment." Better yet, don't date someone you know is a "place holder."
Don't ask for something you are not prepared to give in full measure.
And most importantly, don't say one thing and do another.
All very well said. Thank you.
Do Not answer your phone while in bed!!!
Miss July
11-22-2011, 10:02 AM
~ Don't stop communicating
~ Don't stop being open to compromise
~ Don't ASSume you know what the other is thinking
~ Don't stop being able to forgive
~ Don't stop smelling the roses & appreciating the small things
~ Don't stop respecting each other & thier opinions
ruffryder
11-22-2011, 09:58 PM
*Don't pick yer nose n eat it. ________In front of her.
LOL! This reminds me an ex hated, Hated when I burped - loudly too! I got the kids going and she didn't appreciate it. A lady likes to be treated with respect no matter how comfortable you get in a relationship or how long you been together. Every now and then I let it slip in front of girl friends or whatever and I have to say I'm sorry! :seeingstars:
Elijah
11-22-2011, 10:14 PM
*Do not doom a relationship with inappropriate expectations.
*Do not try and change the person, if you want a Toyota, don't buy a Jeep and resent it for being a Jeep.
*Do not suck the life out of your partner, give space and freedom.
Duchess
10-20-2012, 03:07 AM
~Don't make assumptions
bkisbutchenuff
10-20-2012, 05:21 AM
Do Not answer your phone while in bed!!!
Along with answering the phone while in bed...I once had someone once answer a text while we were in bed - from someone that was an ex or so I was told at the time...not good!
morningstar55
10-20-2012, 05:28 AM
Along with answering the phone while in bed...I once had someone once answer a text while we were in bed - from someone that was an ex or so I was told at the time...not good!
Geeeezers ..... thats bad....
Blade
10-20-2012, 06:31 AM
Don't expect more out of me, than you are willing to invest of yourself.
FemmeBibliophile
10-20-2012, 06:48 AM
Don't go to bed angry. If someone is sleeping on the couch, it's bad.
Don't forget to tell someone what they mean to you. Just because they know doesn't mean they don't want to hear it.
Don't walk into a relationship expecting the other person to change for you.
Do not compare the things they do to how an ex did them.
Do not answer the phone in bed/while snuggling unless you're on call.
If all you're doing is settling, get out now.
Do not keep your ex on speed dial, and update them on every aspect of your life.
Don't let them treat your animals cruelty. If they aren't nice to them... How do you think they are really going to treat you?
Don't always bring up negatives. Once something is done and over, leave it done. Constantly throwing it back up isn't going to make things better.
Don't cheat. Emotional cheating is just as bad as physical cheating.
Prudence
10-20-2012, 06:51 AM
Fight fair. No hitting below the belt.
girl_dee
10-20-2012, 07:10 AM
I am gonna piggy back off this for a sec.
That whole honey moon phase going away thing. *I* don't get why it has to and why it would.
I mean you are the same people, why does it go away? Why?
Why would you want it to?
This!!!!!!!
cinnamongrrl
10-20-2012, 07:35 AM
Do not change to suit their needs......and don't expect them to change for yours...
Do not lose yourself in them.....if it ends you will find it that much harder to get back to yourself...
Do not forsake your friends and/or family for anyone...that's the first sign of control issues....
Do not anticipate them being just like "everyone else". They are themselves and are not the ones that hurt you in the past....
Do not forget to tell them you love them....every single day.....
JustJo
10-20-2012, 07:44 AM
Do not forsake your friends and/or family for anyone...that's the first sign of control issues....
Yes, hell yes, to this right here.
People who love you and care about you don't try to isolate you.....they want you to have a connection and time with your family and friends.
Anyone who wants to isolate you from your family, your friends, or your community does not have your best interests at heart.
Teddybear
10-20-2012, 07:52 AM
Do not change to suit their needs......and don't expect them to change for yours...
Do not lose yourself in them.....if it ends you will find it that much harder to get back to yourself...
Do not forsake your friends and/or family for anyone...that's the first sign of control issues....
Do not anticipate them being just like "everyone else". They are themselves and are not the ones that hurt you in the past....
Do not forget to tell them you love them....every single day.....
Have I told u today I LOVE U??? If not u do very much
Darbonaire
10-20-2012, 08:16 AM
Be afraid to ask questions before making life changing decisions
Be willing to move somewhere you dislike to please someone else.
Give up your own needs trying to get them from the other person.
Allow the other person to assume they "know" you...they most likely do not know who you truly are, & don't assume you know them.
Lie about anything...not who you are, what you want, what's important to you, what IS ok & what isn't...but mainly don't ever lie to yourself.
My favorite saying is: If it never got any better than it is RIGHT now.....is it good enough? If you can't answer yes....then you better be examining why & making some decisions for yourself...cause, NOW is all any of us truly have.
Ginger
10-20-2012, 08:46 AM
Let me quote the pompous doctor in Terms of Endearment, as he breaks the bad news to Shirley MacLaine that her daughter is dying:
"Expect the best, but prepare for the worst."
Just kidding.
Carry on.
~ocean
10-20-2012, 09:16 AM
Let me quote the pompous doctor in Terms of Endearment, as he breaks the bad news to Shirley MacLaine that her daughter is dying:
"Expect the best, but prepare for the worst."
Just kidding.
Carry on.
HA ~~ @ U Island :)
FeminineAllure
10-20-2012, 09:29 AM
Sharing too much too soon.
thedivahrrrself
10-20-2012, 09:41 AM
Had to learn this one the hard way:
Don't try to talk about anything of substance while football is on. :tease:
Scuba
10-20-2012, 09:54 AM
Had to learn this one the hard way:
Don't try to talk about anything of substance while football is on. :tease:
Cute...and true **chuckling**
spritzerJ
10-20-2012, 10:25 AM
Had to learn this one the hard way:
Don't try to talk about anything of substance while football is on. :tease:
Yes learning that lesson helped me know.... next one wasn't going to be a football fanatic. I just couldn't help myself and no need to frustrate anyone needlessly.
cinnamongrrl
10-31-2012, 12:47 PM
Yes learning that lesson helped me know.... next one wasn't going to be a football fanatic. I just couldn't help myself and no need to frustrate anyone needlessly.
The ironic thing about this is.... in this relationship I AM more of a football fanatic!! But we aren't home on Sundays anyhow....so it does no harm :)
Teddybear
10-31-2012, 01:25 PM
The ironic thing about this is.... in this relationship I AM more of a football fanatic!! But we aren't home on Sundays anyhow....so it does no harm :)
we like 2 different teams. i havent lived close to a store that sells falcon things like she lives close to where damm near every store sells something with the patriots logo on it.
i have to remind her OFTEN that we are undefeated this yr.
i know that she loves her team so much and i really love how passionate she is about that. i hope that she gets her wish and they make it to the playoff however if they play us we will WIN
PurpleQuestions84
10-31-2012, 04:57 PM
Dont let the relationship die by moving 2 slow
kittygrrl
10-31-2012, 05:18 PM
Had to learn this one the hard way:
Don't try to talk about anything of substance while football is on. :tease:
hey, don't forget the Feverrrrrrrr too!
:pirate-steer:<<<<<<<my costume tonight
Ginger
10-31-2012, 05:19 PM
Don't give up too soon, or stay too long.
(And just when you think you know where those two points of demarkation lie, the rules will change—so consider this advice useless!)
Don't avoid discussing difficult topics
Don't be a conflict avoider
Don't give up too soon, or stay too long.
(And just when you think you know where those two points of demarkation lie, the rules will change—so consider this advice useless!)
Ha! You write SUCH truth within the parentheses!
LadyRieinAL
10-31-2012, 05:47 PM
we like 2 different teams. i havent lived close to a store that sells falcon things like she lives close to where damm near every store sells something with the patriots logo on it.
i have to remind her OFTEN that we are undefeated this yr.
i know that she loves her team so much and i really love how passionate she is about that. i hope that she gets her wish and they make it to the playoff however if they play us we will WIN
it is so wonderful to hear someone back their partner in their passion about something like football - BIG hugs to both of you!
Darbonaire
10-31-2012, 10:07 PM
it is so wonderful to hear someone back their partner in their passion about something like football - BIG hugs to both of you!
Really?...LOL.....amazing.......
Medusa
11-01-2012, 07:41 AM
Really?...LOL.....amazing.......
Darbonaire-
You want to know what is really amazing? That I have advised you about this kind of behavior once before and warned you of the consequences and you still are unable or unwilling to control yourself.
Just to be clear, this type of post and following your ex around the site in order to fuck with her is patently against the Terms of Service.
You are now on a 30-day time-out.
During your time-out, you are not to access the site in any way or contact the Admins or Moderators. Failure to comply with this request will result in a permanent ban.
Thanks,
Medusa
TruBlu
11-01-2012, 07:59 AM
Don't give up too soon, or stay too long.
(And just when you think you know where those two points of demarkation lie, the rules will change—so consider this advice useless!)
And always hold her hand and tell her you love her....... 😊
Talon
11-01-2012, 08:23 AM
Make her feel like she's on the same level with every other chick that you know. Make her feel like she's a priority....special...and then she will likely return that to you. If you don't, then don't expect her to.
~ocean
11-01-2012, 09:15 AM
Dont talk about all the ex lovers (just the ones u need to discuss)
Dont make promises you cant keep
Always kiss eachother good night & good morning regardless what went down
Keep your appearence up .. being a frump is a turnoff
Let hym (her) talk .. listen
~ocean
11-02-2012, 02:15 PM
~ never let your past become your future ~
txdoc
11-02-2012, 02:48 PM
Don't avoid discussing difficult topics
Don't be a conflict avoider
True, but at the same time, strike a balance and don't overanalyze and alienate.
girl_dee
11-02-2012, 03:50 PM
don't sweat the small stuff
sometimes being right doesn't make you the winner.
ruffryder
11-28-2012, 07:18 PM
"Relation SHIPS sink when they have too many passengers."
girl_dee
12-28-2012, 07:54 PM
don't become someone you aren't to make it fit.
don't try to compete with others that came before you
have goals and plans for yourself, and don't sell yourself short by giving them up.
listen to your gut.
sylvie
12-28-2012, 08:26 PM
Don't forget to laugh, have fun & enjoy one another's company.
Don't forget to appreciate the small things, take notice & compliment! It feels good!
Don't worry about other people's back yards - embrace joy & happiness & focus on the love in front of you, don't lose sight of what's important.
SleepyButch
12-28-2012, 08:55 PM
What not to do in a relationship:
This really holds true with any relationship... don't lie... really there is no point. The truth always comes out in the end at least that is what I believe.
Don't tell someone you love them if you don't mean it.
Don't forget that you are in the relationship for a reason, if you forget why, take a step back, analyze and see if it's right for you. Sometimes we forget what brought us to that person in the first place because we get too busy with everything else.
Don't forget to breath. It's important.
Don't forget to tell the one you love how you feel. Don't let that become habit. Make it mean something when you say it.
Don't settle for just anyone... life is too damn short!
girl_dee
03-17-2013, 12:28 PM
Don't live a fantasy. Life and love are about the muckity muck as much as the bliss.
little_ms_sunshyne
03-17-2013, 12:39 PM
Don't take each other for granted
girl_dee
03-17-2013, 12:44 PM
don't forget what that first week was like.... :blush:
Ascot
03-17-2013, 01:00 PM
Don't be a douche. It's pretty basic.
Sweet Bliss
03-20-2013, 08:54 AM
When you see a bill in your name for a magazine, don't assume the woman who loves you is "using your name to get stuff".... Because it may just mean that you got to the mail before she did.... and now your gift is spoiled by your ugly remark.
Jumping to conclusions is like jumping off a cliff, it's not gonna end pretty.
Sweet Bliss
03-20-2013, 02:03 PM
Refrain from saying 'all my exes.........' if you feel hurt, get some help. Assuming your current love is 'just like' your exes does both of you an injustice. It sets the stage for animosity.
Ascot
03-20-2013, 02:15 PM
For the love of God, please don't be clingy or needy. I get that you have needs. We all have needs. Express them as an adult, sans whingeing.
CA_BabyCakes
03-20-2013, 02:23 PM
Dont assume that everyone has the same do's and don't as you do.
What one assume to be a rule breaker another might see as adorable.
VintageFemme
03-20-2013, 02:46 PM
OMGosh I am never going to be someone to give relationship advice on what to do however sadly *lol* in my experience, I am quite able to give advice on what NOT to do...
Don't assume. Ever.
Don't withdraw... you are a couple, that means two.
Don't mistrust without a reason.
Don't bring that third person [exes] into your bed. Ever.
Don't let small problems become monsters. They will if you don't address them. You can't wish problems away & monsters will eat you.
Don't let ego come before your heart.
Don't forget the tiny things... they mean everything.
Blade
03-20-2013, 03:07 PM
procrastinate telling someone you love them,
Diablo
03-20-2013, 03:46 PM
finally!!!! My kind of thread!!!
TheMerryFairy
03-20-2013, 04:01 PM
Don't ever underestimate me and I mean that in the non harmful way :)
Admin
03-20-2013, 07:59 PM
Don't be a douche. It's pretty basic.
Ascot-
This post was reported for being problematic.
Here's the thing, this is supposed to be woman-positive space and I'd like to think we can do a little deeper digging around language that has been used in ways that don't honor women.
I know that "douche bag" is popular vernacular right now but how about a word like "asshat" or "dumbass"? Those words don't hold the same kind of negativity in women's space that calling someone a "douche", a "twat", a "bitch", a "cunt", a "whore", a "slut", a "tampon", and "insert other words that are not woman positive unless consented to" tend to hold.
Thanks,
Admin
FeminineAllure
03-20-2013, 09:14 PM
You are even in a relationship and find out what NOT to do...
Are you *available* to put the time into having and nurturing one?
Will it be or become one of your *priorities* to be in one?
LDR are not easy. Think long and hard if you are capable of *sustaining* one BEFORE you start having feelings for that awesome femme or butch. <that look out the window together on the phone in the morning and one has 6 feet of snow and the other is watching seagulls flying around and its 75 degrees outside at 8am and 11am for the other.> It took 3 hours to shovel and clean the car off:sunglass: This is where the "I wish you were here" begins. For the record I am not against LDR I have seen plenty work out wonderfully.
And the last one...
ARE YOU TRULY AVAILABLE mentally,emotionally, physically and spiritually TO EVEN BE IN A RELATIONSHIP???
What does *single* mean to you?
The time spent reflecting after your relationship has ended is when you *truly* learn what not to do in your next relationship. It hurts but its a gift:goodluck:
MysticOceansFL
03-20-2013, 09:53 PM
Simply don't assume.
TheMerryFairy
03-20-2013, 10:03 PM
Don't ignore the other persons needs.
Don't lose track of how much time you spend on online (e.g. connect with facebook friends, play games, groups etc)
Establish a healthy dose of time and stick to it
s0litude
03-20-2013, 10:47 PM
Don't lose who YOU are in who you are together. Have separate interests and activities and SOMEONE who understands, appreciates, and RESPECTS this.
Don't CHANGE who you are for that person. Don't be someone you are not or cannot be/become. We all strive to be the best versions of ourselves, but stay the natural course of your life. Row your own boat and hope they are on the same route and not prone to seasickness.
... But be willing to hold her hair out of the way and rub her back if she is.
firegal
03-20-2013, 10:53 PM
...to get in one when your not ready!
I've been patient...waited...looked at me!
My time is coming.
PearlsNLace
03-21-2013, 09:38 PM
Don't forget to listen with your heart.
TheMerryFairy
03-22-2013, 01:13 PM
Don't forget your own worth!
Enchantress
03-22-2013, 01:18 PM
Never use sensitive issues, thoughts or ideas that have been shared in an intimate and trusting venue, against the sharer. It's awful, and will surely make one party feel emotionally unsafe. And, if that happens, all bets are off (the relationship too).
Novelafemme
03-22-2013, 01:29 PM
Don't be a dick! :fastdraq:
Never use sensitive issues, thoughts or ideas that have been shared in an intimate and trusting venue, against the sharer. It's awful, and will surely make one party feel emotionally unsafe. And, if that happens, all bets are off (the relationship too).
Echoing your sentiments exactly!
StrongButch
03-22-2013, 05:52 PM
1) blame someone for your behavior 2) assume 3)fail to listen to what they need 4) play the victim 5) get others involved 6) intentionally hurt them 7) try to get them angry
Don't assume. Give the other person the opportunity to show you who they are.
Admin
03-23-2013, 10:40 AM
Folks -
We are getting reports about some of the language being used in here. Can we please dispense with the "douchebags" and "dicks"?
Here is the thing about language on this website: Cursing is fine, but we need folks to be a lot more thoughtful about using gendered language.
This thread has HUGE potential to be used for negativity so folks need to be super careful about what they post. I dont want to see this thread shut down.
Thanks
dixie
03-24-2013, 08:54 AM
Do not.....take them for granted or treat them as "less than".
Do not......miss an opportunity to tell them how you feel, or even give them a compliment or a positive affirmation.
Sweet Bliss
03-24-2013, 10:10 PM
Remember to use your best manners... it shows respect to others...
to be helpful ... it shows a caring nature ...
to be forgiving... it shows you know how
to spend your time together.... together
Duchess
03-24-2013, 10:16 PM
Never text serious conversations.
Duchess
03-24-2013, 10:21 PM
Don't ignore your intuition.
AtLast
03-24-2013, 10:27 PM
Don't ignore your intuition.
Absolutely never ignore your intuition!
TheMerryFairy
03-24-2013, 10:47 PM
Don't stop saying "I love you"
~ocean
03-24-2013, 10:53 PM
don't forget to say you are sorry ~
Enchantress
03-24-2013, 11:00 PM
Never use the phrase "I'm fine".
When you say it, you're rarely 'fine'. So, why not speak the truth. Tell your lover exactly what you're feeling. They're (most likely) not a mind reader. And, when you use 'fine', in my estimation, you're simply saying go to hell or something a bit more unsavory ...
Duchess
03-25-2013, 12:09 PM
Don't lose yourself. If your partner can't appreciate who you are, keep it moving.:)
Ascot
03-25-2013, 12:15 PM
Don't lose sight of your limits. Don't be unclear when expressing them. Do not fault someone for pushing them too firmly if they've not been clearly delineated. (All of this presumes you know your limits and does not speak to those limits that sometimes spring up and punch us in the neck sans warning.)
Duchess
03-25-2013, 12:32 PM
Don't include your partner in major purchases to show a sign of togetherness, like buying a house, unless they are creditworthy and your relationship is solid. :blink:
Glenn
03-25-2013, 12:51 PM
Don't be anybody's secret side thing. Don't let your fellow brothers and sisters get played. Be fair. Don't make them do anything you would'nt want done to you. We should be looking out for each other in such a nasty world. Don't ever let cheating be an option. Make sure you've moved on first from your lasr relationship, before you even think about starting to date. If they cheat, they're done. Absolutely no exceptions.
Duchess
03-25-2013, 12:57 PM
Don't be anybody's secret side thing. Don't let your fellow brothers and sisters get played. Be fair. Don't make them do anything you would'nt want done to you. We should be looking out for each other in such a nasty world. Don't ever let cheating be an option. Make sure you've moved on first from your lasr relationship, before you even think about starting to date. If they cheat, they're done. Absolutely no exceptions.
We should buy billboard space for this?:)
Butterbean
09-04-2013, 11:50 PM
Eric Clapton once said, "I wish I could love my wife as unconditionally as I love my children."
That quote amazed me.
Don't love with conditions.
Duchess
03-04-2014, 03:29 PM
Don't put the burden of finances, coming up with cool ideas to keep things fresh, initiating sex, etc... on one person.
Don't ever talk to, text, call ... me and definitely never show an interest in my life or who's in it
morningstar55
03-04-2014, 06:25 PM
... disappear.....
Sweet Bliss
03-04-2014, 06:36 PM
Don't just say you are sorry, explain WHY you are sorry.
Just saying you are sorry does not explain your understanding of what went wrong. Be clear Why you are sorry.
"I'm sorry" just does not do it.
Medusa
03-04-2014, 07:41 PM
Folks-
I am making the executive decision to close this thread while I review it and create some guidelines about what can and cannot be posted here.
This thread has been a headache since the beginning for the Mod team because we have way too many people on this site who have dated other members here who want to talk about what did not work for them in the relationship in ways that are and have been problematic.
Look, I want adults to be able to talk about relationships and what we can do better. I actually find it helpful knowing that some of my own triggers are shared by other members here. What I don't want is for folks who break up on this site to use this thread to swipe at one another or make each other feel shitty. And let's face, there are some folks here who have crappy boundaries.
I'm not calling out anyone specific here because this isn't about one person, this is about the need to make sure this thread is used in ways that can help better us as individuals and as a community and NOT used in ways that are unhealthy or negative.
In the meantime, please do not start another thread with this same theme.
My Dad is having surgery tomorrow and I will be out of the loop with him for several days. Please allow me those days to be with him and I will come back with some guidelines for using this thread.
Appreciate those of you contributing and let's please all work together to keep this community a healthy and positive one!
Thanks,
Angie
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