what NOT to do in a relationship.......

[chefhmboyrd]

yeah i think it's time i write that book, i bet we all could too!
what NOT to do........

#1 do not give away all your power during the honeymoon sex part.......

as in have a backbone, don't let your partner run the whole show. that sets the tone and culture for the whole rest of the relationship.
have and opinion and express it. don't be afraid to disagree. even if you don't feel real strongly about something don't jut roll over and say "scratch my belly again please....."

[The_Lady_Snow]

yeah i think it's time i write that book, i bet we all could too!
what NOT to do........

#1 do not give away all your power during the honeymoon sex part.......

as in have a backbone, don't let your partner run the whole show. that sets the tone and culture for the whole rest of the relationship.
have and opinion and express it. don't be afraid to disagree. even if you don't feel real strongly about something don't jut roll over and say "scratch my belly again please....."


:|

In some relationships all power must be given to the other for it to work.

Then again some folks are fond of a good belly rub...

:cookielove:

[adorable]

yeah i think it's time i write that book, i bet we all could too!
what NOT to do........

#1 do not give away all your power during the honeymoon sex part.......

as in have a backbone, don't let your partner run the whole show. that sets the tone and culture for the whole rest of the relationship.
have and opinion and express it. don't be afraid to disagree. even if you don't feel real strongly about something don't jut roll over and say "scratch my belly again please....."

Ha Ha ha...........
Actually I have found the latter to be true.
I had to give up power to find my truth.

One thing I can say is that "to thine own self be true" and that is regardless of self or truth.


We sometimes think we know. We don't always. Truth may be found in the crop or the belt. Sometimes the greatest power is found in powerlessness. It can be found in "I need you." It can be found in "Yes." It can be found in not using safewords. It can be found in being that girl. Let Go. Let.......IT.

[dark_crystal]

yeah i think it's time i write that book, i bet we all could too!
what NOT to do........

#1 do not give away all your power during the honeymoon sex part.......

as in have a backbone, don't let your partner run the whole show. that sets the tone and culture for the whole rest of the relationship.
have and opinion and express it. don't be afraid to disagree. even if you don't feel real strongly about something don't jut roll over and say "scratch my belly again please....."

now that i am reading this it is occurring to me that there is all kinds of precedents that can get set during the honeymoon sex part! there are things you might spend hours doing at first that your personality is not inclined toward as a rule- and when that starts to wear off you find out their personality IS inclined to it and now you have a problem (things like talking on the phone or IM or coccooning on the couch that are natural during the bonding period but may not be the default mode for both partners)

[chefhmboyrd]

:|

In some relationships all power must be given to the other for it to work.

Then again some folks are fond of a good belly rub...

:cookielove:

i do enjoy a good belly rub......

[AtLast]

:|

In some relationships all power must be given to the other for it to work.

Then again some folks are fond of a good belly rub...

:cookielove:

ROLF!!

Different strokes!

Just thinking that it might be a good idea to just be yourself... during all phazes... I know, not easy to do, but I don't want to wake up to someone I don't know or vise versa...

... no matter the strokes of choice....

:byebye:

[miss entycing]

yeah i think it's time i write that book, i bet we all could too!
what NOT to do........

#1 do not give away all your power during the honeymoon sex part.......

as in have a backbone, don't let your partner run the whole show. that sets the tone and culture for the whole rest of the relationship.
have and opinion and express it. don't be afraid to disagree. even if you don't feel real strongly about something don't jut roll over and say "scratch my belly again please....."


so...... if someone say, 'tops from the bottom' or takes hold and climbs up in Hys lap and takes what she wants.... did I just take Hys power away?
I dont think that ever came into play during the honeymoon part, or 4 yrs later in the ol married couple that we are now, lol...
whether I am told what Hy desires, or if I am guided that direction, simply told flat out what Hy wants, or what Hy is fixin to take or the look in Hys eyes that tells me I can take what I want, since I've been such a good girl... I never thought Hy was giving any of Hys power away.

so is that what you meant by rule #1?
being genuine here, no snark, no nothing... genuinely curious:)

[The_Lady_Snow]

ROLF!!

Different strokes!

Just thinking that it might be a good idea to just be yourself... during all phazes... I know, not easy to do, but I don't want to wake up to someone I don't know or vise versa...

... no matter the strokes of choice....

:byebye:


True dat!

It's pretty simple in *my* experience if you are up and up on what kind of person you are, your traits, your habits, all that is gonna eventually rise and the other person will take notice.

So instead of all lollipops and rainbows and promises of shitting glitter *I* have found it to be honest up front about what I will do, won't and may comply to . Now I tend to be non compliant, so it is pretty up front I am boss. The end. I too tend to educate and inform I am no white picket fence nor pink cupcakes.

It keeps things on the up and up that way yanno?

Good thread andy!

[Ebon]

Don't be dishonest or with holding. Or play games with your partner.

[chefhmboyrd]

Ha Ha ha...........
Actually I have found the latter to be true.
I had to give up power to find my truth.

One thing I can say is that "to thine own self be true" and that is regardless of self or truth.


We sometimes think we know. We don't always. Truth may be found in the crop or the belt. Sometimes the greatest power is found in powerlessness. It can be found in "I need you." It can be found in "Yes." It can be found in not using safewords. It can be found in being that girl. Let Go. Let.......IT.

i believe i am far too gone to ever be completely submissive again.....
but i have seen the advantages of being completely powerless.
not for me, not anymore.
and i am not about owning someone either.....

there are never any true equals....
the balance of power can shift, part of the "only constant is change" theory.
i know that i am easily swayed by sparkly thing and sex is a drug for me....
i could almost be talked into anything if the conditions are right.....
then something goes POP
and i wake up like i've been in a drug induced coma....
3 - 4 weeks months years.........

gotta hold on to my power, hold my cards cloer to my vest, etc... whatever you want to call it.
brutal honesty is my tool of choice these days.
seem like no one really want to hear the truth anymore.

[The_Lady_Snow]

so...... if someone say, 'tops from the bottom' or takes hold and climbs up in Hys lap and takes what she wants.... did I just take Hys power away?
I dont think that ever came into play during the honeymoon part, or 4 yrs later in the ol married couple that we are now, lol...
whether I am told what Hy desires, or if I am guided that direction, simply told flat out what Hy wants, or what Hy is fixin to take or the look in Hys eyes that tells me I can take what I want, since I've been such a good girl... I never thought Hy was giving any of Hys power away.

so is that what you meant by rule #1?
being genuine here, no snark, no nothing... genuinely curious:)


I am gonna piggy back off this for a sec.

That whole honey moon phase going away thing. *I* don't get why it has to and why it would.

I mean you are the same people, why does it go away? Why?

Why would you want it to?

[chefhmboyrd]

so...... if someone say, 'tops from the bottom' or takes hold and climbs up in Hys lap and takes what she wants.... did I just take Hys power away?
I dont think that ever came into play during the honeymoon part, or 4 yrs later in the ol married couple that we are now, lol...
whether I am told what Hy desires, or if I am guided that direction, simply told flat out what Hy wants, or what Hy is fixin to take or the look in Hys eyes that tells me I can take what I want, since I've been such a good girl... I never thought Hy was giving any of Hys power away.

so is that what you meant by rule #1?
being genuine here, no snark, no nothing... genuinely curious:)

what i meant reall for rule #1 is to not just go along with things cause you got your sex googles on....:byebye:
gotta make sure you are getting what you want out of it too, beside laid.... lol

[jenny]

Don't be dishonest or with holding. Or play games with your partner.

Exactly. Be real, be honest, be frank. The best advice I can give -- get to know yourself well, and learn to like yourself, so that you don't ever feel the need to try to be someone you're not. Get to know the person you're dating well, and allow that person to learn who you are. Think. Talk. Communicate. Talk some more. Think some more...

And enjoy.

[The_Lady_Snow]

i believe i am far too gone to ever be completely submissive again.....
but i have seen the advantages of being completely powerless.
not for me, not anymore.
and i am not about owning someone either.....

there are never any true equals....
the balance of power can shift, part of the "only constant is change" theory.
i know that i am easily swayed by sparkly thing and sex is a drug for me....
i could almost be talked into anything if the conditions are right.....
then something goes POP
and i wake up like i've been in a drug induced coma....
3 - 4 weeks months years.........

gotta hold on to my power, hold my cards cloer to my vest, etc... whatever you want to call it.
brutal honesty is my tool of choice these days.
seem like no one really want to hear the truth anymore.



Are we talking about power exchange or sex?

I am confused because sex does not define Dominance nor submission at all

[JustJo]

...forget why you're there to begin with.

...take your partner for granted.

...forget to tell them and show them how you feel. :stillheart:

...be anyone other than who you truly are. :rrose:

[chefhmboyrd]

Are we talking about power exchange or sex?

I am confused because sex does not define Dominance nor submission at all

i am talking about not letting some great sex cloud your judgment to agree to things that you would not normally do, and/or at some point feel like you are no longer in control of our life.

not really a D/s thing at all, but i do definitely see what you mean and how it relates.
it is like you said. being clear from the beginning what you will and won't do/agree to,

brutal honesty......

[The_Lady_Snow]

what i meant reall for rule #1 is to not just go along with things cause you got your sex googles on....:byebye:
gotta make sure you are getting what you want out of it too, beside laid.... lol


I got my sex goggles taken away from me due to my training so *I* don't get this sort of thinking, now mind you, if I want to fuck I say it honestly.

Let's fuck.

It's me possibly objectifying someone and we would fuck and I am not in anyway attached nor am I thinking

Oh a relationship.



:|

I am assuming that is what you mean sex goggles.

[miss entycing]

I am gonna piggy back off this for a sec.

That whole honey moon phase going away thing. *I* don't get why it has to and why it would.

I mean you are the same people, why does it go away? Why?

Why would you want it to?

*I* personally absolutely agree with everything you said- as for the why's? I honestly can't answer, because I really don't know why some couples veer off the honeymoon path, I have no earthly idea where the intensity goes, or where the emotional attachment goes... or even where the raw need for sex goes!
I think it's a shame tho.. to lose something so intense.
I can only speculate that things happen.... maybe a physical condition or deep depression affecting one partner for instance? I also think that before you know it, if you arent paying attention or you are taking it for granted that it will always be there, you notice something has faded, and by that time, its really hard to get back. I dunno.:confused:
again, just speculating!

[PearlsNLace]

Things I have learned not to do in a relationship-

give up friends.

give up support networks.

move across the country to a place I know nothing about to make them happy.


believe that it was my job to make them happy.

give up being happy, in attempt to make any other person happy.

Adopt an animal on a whim to make them happy.


I see a theme here.

And growth! YEAH!!! I dont do these things anymore!!:clap::cheer::huhlaugh::cheerleader:

[The_Lady_Snow]

i am talking about not letting some great sex cloud your judgment to agree to things that you would not normally do, and/or at some point feel like you are no longer in control of our life.

not really a D/s thing at all, but i do definitely see what you mean and how it relates.
it is like you said. being clear from the beginning what you will and won't do/agree to,

brutal honesty......

Gotcha...

Which answers my question about the sex goggles which leads me to the I was trained (I can expand if needed) so therefore my thinking when it comes to sexual desires is based on a lot more than carnal OR I just want it and it's someone to have sex with because frankly sex is good.

SO I have to ask what is it about this super duper sex that makes you forget judgement?

What is so different?

Truly curious

[chefhmboyrd]

I got my sex goggles taken away from me due to my training so *I* don't get this sort of thinking, now mind you, if I want to fuck I say it honestly.

Let's fuck.

It's me possibly objectifying someone and we would fuck and I am not in anyway attached nor am I thinking

Oh a relationship.



:|

I am assuming that is what you mean sex goggles.


yes definitely.......

[sweetcali]

Goodness.... This is precisely why I firmly believe in having the sex talk within the first 5 minutes of meeting s prospective partner. It certainly would put the heart break hotel out of business and the honeymoon never has to end.

sweetcali

[Duchess]

Don't expect to be your partner's only friend :|

[chefhmboyrd]

Gotcha...

Which answers my question about the sex goggles which leads me to the I was trained (I can expand if needed) so therefore my thinking when it comes to sexual desires is based on a lot more than carnal OR I just want it and it's someone to have sex with because frankly sex is good.

SO I have to ask what is it about this super duper sex that makes you forget judgement?

What is so different?

Truly curious

it's the person
the chemistry
great sex makes me act stupid.....
and prolonged exposure can warp a man's mind into thinking that the big giant huge sucking black hole of need that you are fucking is a sweet demure flower until it starts following you around the house screaming "feed me seymour, feed me"

[Ebon]

it's the person
the chemistry
great sex makes me act stupid.....
and prolonged exposure can warp a man's mind into thinking that the big giant huge sucking black hole of need that you are fucking is a sweet demure flower until it starts following you around the house screaming "feed me seymour, feed me"

OMG tell me about it! It's hard not to become a complete idiot and lose all common sense.

[The_Lady_Snow]

it's the person
the chemistry
great sex makes me act stupid.....
and prolonged exposure can warp a man's mind into thinking that the big giant huge sucking black hole of need that you are fucking is a sweet demure flower until it starts following you around the house screaming "feed me seymour, feed me"


See if Seymour had done a LITTLE more research on them sweet cute lil plants with teeth before he got all lollipops and rainbows.

Seymour could of seen and realized (though I think Seymour chose not to see it) that he was housing a man eating *plant*

One can't really blame the plant, the plant is what it is, Seymour on the other hand, being florist should of had his info but no Seymour fell for the glitz glamour and totally did not see the pretty deadly jaws of AudreyII.


:|

I feel a song coming on

[chefhmboyrd]

See if Seymour had done a LITTLE more research on them sweet cute lil plants with teeth before he got all lollipops and rainbows.

Seymour could of seen and realized (though I think Seymour chose not to see it) that he was housing a man eating *plant*

One can't really blame the plant, the plant is what it is, Seymour on the other hand, being florist should of had his info but no Seymour fell for the glitz glamour and totally did not see the pretty deadly jaws of AudreyII.


:|

I feel a song coming on

(((((( hanging head in shame))))))))))

once again it's seymour's fault........
:|

[dark_crystal]

*I* personally absolutely agree with everything you said- as for the why's? I honestly can't answer, because I really don't know why some couples veer off the honeymoon path, I have no earthly idea where the intensity goes, or where the emotional attachment goes... or even where the raw need for sex goes!
I think it's a shame tho.. to lose something so intense.
I can only speculate that things happen.... maybe a physical condition or deep depression affecting one partner for instance?

i think for me...in the past...what has caused the honeymoon to end, is me being dysfunctional...i tend towards avoidance and i hate confrontation so i won't ever say anything that might be un-pleasing...and this has tended to lead to a lot of built up petty resentments

[Duchess]

Don't explain away bullshit, lies, etc...Absorb and process the real deal.:hangloose:

Duchess

[betenoire]

If your lady fair does not answer the phone, do not call her work, her mother, her best friend, her favourite cafe, and her dentist in an effort to track her down. Leave a message and wait for her to call you back. Lordy!

[Rockinonahigh]

What I wont do in a relationship or have done to me is ever expect my other half to not have a voice in the reltionship..I value what she has to say no mater where we may be in the relationship.
As for any power exchanges there is an eb and flow that we should share so not to cause the other to feel less than.
Any friendshipe we have had should contenue as long as they dont cause probs with us..if so we should talk it out cause what seems one way may not be what it looks like,but if it causeing probs maybe a bit of a time out from wich ever friend for a bit to see how it works out.
Things should be discused when ever it needs to be to keep healthy chanels open.
As for sex,we need to be on the same page about what we want but not ever lose the ablity to go with the flow and just injoy the experence how ever it plays out.If either of us have boundries,be minfull of them.

[The_Lady_Snow]

(((((( hanging head in shame))))))))))

once again it's seymour's fault........
:|


Well yeah.

The plant was very obviously a man eating plant.

Why would a florist bring a man eating plant into his enviroment?

If the sex goggles are the problem, mayhap trying to be with someone without the sex may be something one could consider.

Control release takes trust. lots of it. on both ends

[WolfyOne]

Don't walk in front of me, I will not follow
Don't walk behind me, we may both get lost
Walk beside me and be my equal

[SuperFemme]

Don't walk in front of me, I will not follow
Don't walk behind me, we may both get lost
Walk beside me and be my equal

so a piggy back ride is out?

[SuperFemme]

never EVER poop with the door open and talking to me like we're having coffee at the breakfast bar.

it's too distracting.

[dixie]

never EVER poop with the door open and talking to me like we're having coffee at the breakfast bar.

it's too distracting.

OMG! Agreed!!! LOL


Don't call me at work telling me how you love and adore me, then deny that you know anything about the unfamiliar cigarettes and freakin' underwear beside my bed when I get home...I don't smoke menthols, I don't wear underwear, and I wasn't born yesterday....grrrrrrrrrrrrr

[tuffboi29]

The best thing I have learned about relationships...and something I feel to be the most important....comprimise.
It goes a looooooooong way to keep both parties (or in some cases all parties) happy.

[The_Lady_Snow]

OMG! Agreed!!! LOL


Don't call me at work telling me how you love and adore me, then deny that you know anything about the unfamiliar cigarettes and freakin' underwear beside my bed when I get home...I don't smoke menthols, I don't wear underwear, and I wasn't born yesterday....grrrrrrrrrrrrr


:|:|.............

[WolfyOne]

so a piggy back ride is out?

Not for you.....you know that saying save a horse, ride a cowboi :|

I just happen to adore you :)

[Ebon]

OMG! Agreed!!! LOL


Don't call me at work telling me how you love and adore me, then deny that you know anything about the unfamiliar cigarettes and freakin' underwear beside my bed when I get home...I don't smoke menthols, I don't wear underwear, and I wasn't born yesterday....grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Wow is all I can say to this. Just wow.

[MrSunshine]

so a piggy back ride is out?


yes. so is riding the cotton pony. :|

wait. what was the question again?

[SuperFemme]

Not for you.....you know that saying save a horse, ride a cowboi :|

I just happen to adore you :)

Thanks. I'd totally sit you in my lap and wheel you anywhere you wanted.
You know that saying....umm.
How does it go?
Oh yeah.
Adele is easy. :vigil:

[WingsOnFire]

The one thing I have learned in past relationships is never give someone complete control over you. Now that being said, I am in a total power exchange relationship and my Sir has complete control over me but he earned that right. I respect him and know he will never put me in harms way. So I guess I should rephrase that to never give complete control over me without earning my complete trust first.

[SuperFemme]

yes. so is riding the cotton pony. :|

wait. what was the question again?

GTFU. :toypony:

[The_Lady_Snow]

yes. so is riding the cotton pony. :|

wait. what was the question again?

See this would be an important tid bit to know if someone is just starting a relationship.

Sex during menses is something *I* must have!

I likey the blood!

OK back to GTL!

[SuperFemme]

please don't put the lube and the ben-gay next to each other in the nightstand.

[dixie]

:|:|.............

Luckily, that is an ancient history that I can laugh about now. LOL :D


----------------------------------


Also... don't smother. "No one can grow in the shade."

[MrSunshine]

Luckily, that is an ancient history that I can laugh about now. LOL :D


----------------------------------


Also... don't smother. "No one can grow in the shade."




fucking weeds do :|

[SuperFemme]

never EVER let someone convince you not to use a condom/dental dam.
safe sex is great sex.

[weatherboi]

see this is why i am a lucky boy...dirty little fucker i am but lucky lucky lucky!!!
:mohawk: great thread


See this would be an important tid bit to know if someone is just starting a relationship.

Sex during menses is something *I* must have!

I likey the blood!

OK back to GTL!

[The_Lady_Snow]

see this is why i am a lucky boy...dirty little fucker i am but lucky lucky lucky!!!
:mohawk: great thread


That and you don't mind where I place you.;)

[dixie]

fucking weeds do :|

Yes, and therein lies the point. We don't want weeds. Eventhough some weeds look "beautiful"...*le sigh*

[WolfyOne]

Never get drunk and let her take care of you on your first official date
She'll never let you live it down and the story changes each time she tells it to someone while in your presence :|

[SuperFemme]

never be a jealous control freak.
it's not seksi.

you know right?
phone rings: who are you talking to
you're on the computer: looking over your shoulder
you go out with the girls: guess who shows up.

1+1=2 and I am not 50% of anything.

[The_Lady_Snow]

never be a jealous control freak.
it's not seksi.

you know right?
phone rings: who are you talking to
you're on the computer: looking over your shoulder
you go out with the girls: guess who shows up.

1+1=2 and I am not 50% of anything.


Ay dios mio!

Don't call the person you are seeing 100x's when they are with their bestie and WHINE.

Whine whine whine.

Please if you whine or have a habit of whining disclose this to all parties so that the non whining party can tell you to bounce!

[SuperFemme]

and for god's sake, don't ever fuck whilst wearing nothing but socks. :sock:

[SuperFemme]

oh.
never get jealous of the love a potential mate has for their fur babies.
you will lose.

[WolfyOne]

and for god's sake, don't ever fuck whilst wearing nothing but socks. :sock:


It would be a deal breaker for me
Take the fucking socks off or sex ain't gonna happen
Shudders at that thought

[dixie]

oh.
never get jealous of the love a potential mate has for their fur babies.
you will lose.

and please don't sneak around feeding hot peppers to these furbabies and act innocent when they start throwing up on bed...

[weatherboi]

because i trust You in all Your placing abilities!!!
because You took the time to sniff me out and get to know me before You took me!!!
because You know i don't come undamaged and recognize that!!!



:mohawk:


That and you don't mind where I place you.;)

[SuperFemme]

It would be a deal breaker for me
Take the fucking socks off or sex ain't gonna happen
Shudders at that thought

omg you just got all toppy.
that was hot. :fireman:

[Diva]

Someone has already said this......

What not to do.....don't go into a new relationship without having gotten over the last one. Some people call that baggage. That's some poopie baggage. Not to mention a doomed new relationship!

[bright_arrow]

Do not cosign for $10,000 in furniture when you're not married.

:|

:readfineprint:

[socialjustice_fsu]

when adding anyone to your most important asset such as your home deed. Regardless of the certainty both feel that the relationship is a 'forever one' - people change for a number of reasons. Trying to remove a name off of a home deed is costly not just financially but emotionally. Consider prenuptials. It only makes good business sense. I speak from first hand experience. So does my well-paid attorney.

[Mister Bent]

and for god's sake, don't ever fuck whilst wearing nothing but socks. :sock:

What. You wouldn't dare hate on the :sock: !

[WolfyOne]

omg you just got all toppy.
that was hot. :fireman:


Oh now you did it, I must derail this thread with a YouTube



W2NFkCNIDxI

[The_Lady_Snow]

Do not cosign for $10,000 in furniture when you're not married.

:|

:readfineprint:

:|

Who the hell has furniture that costs that much?

:|

[The_Lady_Snow]

Oh now you did it, I must derail this thread with a YouTube



W2NFkCNIDxI


Music..

Music you can't be liking the above


That would be a deal breaker for *me*

or I would have to find the ice pick..

[WolfyOne]

:|

Who the hell has furniture that costs that much?

:|



Someone that sets up housekeeping in more than one house :|

[Mister Bent]

:|

Who the hell has furniture that costs that much?

:|

My mom, but she had to replace it all after I...

Wait, wrong thread.

Sorry!

[Ebon]

:|

Who the hell has furniture that costs that much?

:|

Who the hell wants furniture that costs that much?! I guess I don't get it.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Who the hell wants furniture that costs that much?! I guess I don't get it.

Snooki!!!

:phonegab:

[Billy]

and for god's sake, don't ever fuck whilst wearing nothing but socks. :sock:

Ummm My feet where cold :|:vigil:

[WolfyOne]

Music..

Music you can't be liking the above


That would be a deal breaker for *me*

or I would have to find the ice pick..


LOL, be careful what you say, Pinkie may come in here and post Celine


Ice pick :|

[The_Lady_Snow]

Someone that sets up housekeeping in more than one house :|


Um I do that and it is STILL not that much even combined

:|

[bright_arrow]

:|

Who the hell has furniture that costs that much?

:|

You know those places where you get it all and pay monthly? Like a rent to own sorta deal?

Well she was in the military and just got housing (was married to a gay friend) and the only furniture we had was my bed and dresser.. A dining room, living room, bedroom set x 2 later.. Well. YEAH.

Then she was kicked out for being gay and upon calling the people and letting them know the money would no longer be coming from her account but from mine due to her discharge, they told us they would be arriving the next day to TAKE IT ALL BACK. We had already paid $3k of it off. No refund.

And after we split months later she informed me she got a letter from them, and they were asking for the remaining balance.. AND they had already re-sold it!

I never got anything, I don't know what happened about that.

Dreading that call one day :|

So yeah.

Signed,
A hella lot smarter girl this time around - boi and I agreed we would not buy anything we couldn't pay for all in cash at time of purchase



Edited to add - I don't think we looked at the price tags. It was her idea to go get all the furniture. When she got kicked out - we had to go apartment hunting obviously - and I didn't let her do that again. We accumulated our furniture over a period of time - all free - dining room and living room and bedroom.

[IrishGrrl]

how about dont air your pvt stuff online.

[Soft*Silver]

dont make someone else more significant to you than your partner. When you rely on someone else to be your other half, to share your thoughts and hopes and fears with, you are literally stealing that away from the person you said you loved.

dont set unrealistic expectations

dont make small things huge things.

Dont make her/his huge things inconsequential.

Share more than a bed with her/him. A relationship isnt whats in bed. Thats only a small % of it. When the covers are back and your feet hit the floor, that day should include him or her

dont cheat. For god sake, please dont cheat. And there are many ways to cheat. I just had a discussion with someone about online cheating. Its not just about sex. Its also about having your needs fulfilled by someone else and fulfilling someone else's needs before your partner's, too

dont share a bank account when you inherit large sums of money

dont hand your paycheck over

dont shove the child out of the way no matter how old she is

dont resent the animals in her/his life. You wont win

dont expect more out of the other person than you are willing to her/him to expect out of you. No double standards. You want him or her to look her best, be thin, dress top notch, etc, then you best do it too

dont manipulate to move in or to have her/him to move in, too soon. Lets help eradicate the uhaul legend...

and I see this with alot of online relationships: dont use someone up and caste them aside when you are "fixed". So many people hook up when someone is going thru a tough time..dealing with a death, having financial problems, experiencing major health issues. They hook up and when their grief is over, they have money in their pocket again or their health is better,they dump the person who helped them and move on...AND dont be the person who is needy. Hold off. Do it yourself. You will thank yourself big time later...

there is more but thats off the top of my head

[Rockinonahigh]

I agree about the fur kids and my own child...they are my family first and formost,as well as everything else softness said...couldnt have said it better.

[Oiler41]

when adding anyone to your most important asset such as your home deed. Regardless of the certainty both feel that the relationship is a 'forever one' - people change for a number of reasons. Trying to remove a name off of a home deed is costly not just financially but emotionally. Consider prenuptials. It only makes good business sense. I speak from first hand experience. So does my well-paid attorney.

Or the reverse; don't invest large sums of money into a large asset that doesn't have your name on it. Ditto on the last two lines.

Glynn

[Diva]

when adding anyone to your most important asset such as your home deed. Regardless of the certainty both feel that the relationship is a 'forever one' - people change for a number of reasons. Trying to remove a name off of a home deed is costly not just financially but emotionally. Consider prenuptials. It only makes good business sense. I speak from first hand experience. So does my well-paid attorney.



One thing that won't happen.....if I'm ever in a relationship again.....

This is my childhood home. It will go to my daughter. Period. The end.


Unless I decide to sell it and write her out of the will...in which case, I will move to Belize. Or Paris. (That's Paris, France, Europe...not Paris, Texas.)

[SuperFemme]

don't use the last of the creamer.
or the last of anything, offer it first.

don't touch my remote.
uh.

i mean share the remote nicely.
having an inoperative decoy remote is
BAD.
BAD.
BAD.

[WolfyOne]

Never remove batteries from remote to use in toys

I mean, never remove batteries from toys to use in remote

or the sharing will stop and no pleasure can come from that :|

[asphaltcowboi]

never go to the lumber yard to get fence wood and come home a few hours later with you best bud at your side swearing that home depot was out of lumber
never piss your girl off when you real tired an could sleep threw anything.... you may wake with your toe nails painted

[Rockinonahigh]

Where I dont have a prob with most things but I will share my kitchen if whom ever im with dosent rearange it..its all where I want it.I know some cutlry is thrown in the cutlery drawer..I ran out of space to put them so in they went anyway they landed.All the knives go in a knife block or on the magnetic strips...please...I know spoken like a grouchy italian chef.

[Jesse]

If you do not know/love yourself, do not get involved in a committed relationship...go do your emotional work first. If you do not know who you are then you cannot know what you need or what you have to bring to the table.

Jesse

[Ashton]

DONT do unto the other as you would have the other do unto you!!

:cigar2:

[sweetcali]

please don't put the lube and the ben-gay next to each other in the nightstand.

Oh heavens to betsy I agree except don't place the ben gay next to the lube but please please please place the icy hot or ginger next it thank you.

never be a jealous control freak.
it's not seksi.

you know right?
phone rings: who are you talking to
you're on the computer: looking over your shoulder
you go out with the girls: guess who shows up.

1+1=2 and I am not 50% of anything.

I thought 1 + 1 = 3

oh.
never get jealous of the love a potential mate has for their fur babies.
you will lose.

I never have understood how someone could be jealous of their partner's pet.

and for god's sake, don't ever fuck whilst wearing nothing but socks. :sock:

Oh heaven's to betsy please do NOT come out wearing snoopy tighty's and Mr. Bendy then get insulted because I am double over with laughter to tears.

sweetcali

[bright_arrow]

People get jealous over a pet(s)? Really? :|

- don't compare your partner to your ex, or vice versa. everyone is different. and if by god you do, DON'T say it to them. whether good or bad, no one likes hearing comparisons. we don't want to know your ex crosses your mind. at least i don't. some people might not have a problem with it, but i have a big problem with it.

- don't go to bed angry (i mean it!)

- don't offer advice unless asked. sometimes your partner just needs to vent it out.

- don't violate privacy.

- don't forget special occasions (even if they're not special to you, they may be to your partner)

- don't be condescending. you can comment on something without being harsh about it.

- don't use sex as a bribe or punishment

- don't try to change your partner. respect, love, appreciate and cherish them for who they are. that is, after all, why you're with them, yes?

(do communicate, compromise, and have the ability to laugh at yourselves ~ that goes a long way!)

[Kenna]

Don't "force" the other person "into a little gray box" filled with YOUR ideas or dreams of what/who they should be, who they should interact with, what they should do and how they should CHANGE or ID to fit your specifications. Don't go into a relationship with the intention of changing the other person... don't place unrealistic or non-agreed upon expectations or limitations on the other person [or relationship in general] that will make them feel claustrophobic and restrained. Before long, they will want to break free of their restraints. (I HATE little boxes... they remind me of limitations and restrictions.)

Do not strip anyone of their dignity. Do not insult or make back handed comments about their heritage, "up bringing", culture, where they were raised, or any of the people that are important to them. (I am proud I spent most of my childhood/young adult years in the Appalachian Mountains and know whole communities of very hardworking, respectful, honorable, compassionate people... it PEEVES me beyond anger and outrage to hear someone I'm dating call us "damn hillbillies!"!!) DO NOT belittle someone. Their heritage is just as valid and important as yours.

And a big deal breaker for me.... Domestic Violence of any kind that makes anyone feel unsafe, threatened, confined, stalked, afraid to leave or afraid to come home, afraid to say "no", etc etc... (I can add to this list, but it comes from my own experience. Domestic Violence is very personal and comes in many different forms.)

[TenderKnight]

Don't get into the trap of saying or doing what you *THINK* they want or that you *THINK* you should do.. Like lots have said already.. Communicate so that you *KNOW* and aren't guessing... (has been guilty of the thinking and not knowing thing..)

Don't be a role.. be a person who has a dynamic with another person.. (huge pet peeve..)

[Kenna]

oh.
never get jealous of the love a potential mate has for their fur babies.
you will lose.

And Gee Wiz Willy Wonkers... If the fur baby's Momma say's "get out of my kitchen, you KNOW better!"...BACK HER UP! Don't sit there and giggle when said fur baby pouts and hides beside your feet with a sweet little look of "but Daddy said I can stay". He may be cute... but he's playin' you and Momma's gonna get pissed that her rules are broken by two "little hams" that think they are gonna get away with it!!

Momma + in Femme Stance with hands on hips + multiple dog crates in house = pay backs

[BullDog]

The minute you start getting falsely accused of stuff, get out then. Things are not going to improve. It's their issue not yours.

[tuffboi29]

OMG! Agreed!!! LOL


Don't call me at work telling me how you love and adore me, then deny that you know anything about the unfamiliar cigarettes and freakin' underwear beside my bed when I get home...I don't smoke menthols, I don't wear underwear, and I wasn't born yesterday....grrrrrrrrrrrrr



How about the phone call saying "Hey honey...Last night was great...What time does your gf go to work tonight?"

I was like :| ..."I don't think I'm going to work tonight, buddy."

[RadiantYearning]

Don't spend the entirety of the honeymoon phase showing her how sexually compatible the two of you are, only to lay the cease and desist order on the nightstand the evening after you both sign papers on the house.

Never confuse needing someone with neediness. One is endearing, the other is obnoxious.

Don't waste your energy on jealousy, snooping or stalking ... there are so many better uses for that energy.

Never forget to tell her how you feel, don't assume she knows and/or it's obvious in the things you do. She wants to hear it AND you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Don't cheat. End it if you're seriously considering it ... and don't forget, the grass is seldom greener.

Don't forget to mention that you have more diagnoses than the DSM-IV.

[Daywalker]

and for god's sake, don't ever fuck whilst wearing nothing but socks. :sock:

Oops.

:|



:huhlaugh:


oh.
never get jealous of the love a potential mate has for their fur babies.
you will lose.

And Oops.
:cheesy:

This is what mah boi told the Mrs. Day the first month we was meshing.

Hy said
"...oh, and the kittehz will always come first, music will be right behind it."

:bluebat:


:daywalker:

[Daywalker]

Might wanna let em know ahead of time that all of
your home decor...may or may not be kinda creepy.
:batty:

Never tell them you're getting frisked by airport
security because you were once famous.

:weedsmoke:

:daywalker:

[Gemme]

Do not:

Never negotiate, whether it be sex or personal boundaries, future intentions, etc. Negotiation keeps everyone on the same page.

Be, or expect to be, someone's world. It's too hard to live our lives as ourselves, much less carry the weight of another.

Go to the bathroom in front of me. Been there, done that and it does something to the relationship that I don't like. Familiarity can breed contempt in situations like this.

Do the usual deal breakers: lying, cheating, drugging, stealing, stalking, murdering, embezzling, being a controlling pompous ass, etc.

[Dylan]

If your lady fair does not answer the phone, do not call her work, her mother, her best friend, her favourite cafe, and her dentist in an effort to track her down. Leave a message and wait for her to call you back. Lordy!

And if she still doesn't return your call, DON'T leave a message on her voicemail saying you're going to call the police to find her if she doesn't call you back.


If She Hasn't Returned Your (countless) Calls, She (obviously) Does NOT Want To Talk To You,
Dylan...aghast at the lengths some people will go to

[Glenn]

[QUOTE=RadiantYearning;163604]Don't spend the entirety of the honeymoon phase showing her how sexually compatible the two of you are, only to lay the cease and desist order on the nightstand the evening after you both sign papers on the house.

Hm. So that's what they used to cap the oil well.

[weatherboi]

don't involve somebody's work space!!!
don't threaten to call the parents and divulge shit that is none of their business!!! :readfineprint:

:mohawk:

[betenoire]

fucking weeds do :|

Fucking needy-ass weeds.

Please if you whine or have a habit of whining disclose this to all parties so that the non whining party can tell you to bounce!

The only thing that is worse than whining is silent pouting. Pissed off at me? Be prepared to say so AND say why. If you can't/won't do that I will presume you are pissed about something REALLY stupid and I won't give a shit.

oh.
never get jealous of the love a potential mate has for their fur babies.
you will lose.

Exactly. If you cannot accept how much mommy loves her Baby Smelly who is Orange (and when he's not Orange he's White) you're in for a world full of aggravation. Sulking when I dote all over my Baby Smelly will only make me dote all over Baby Smelly even more - my favourite person/pet in the room is always the one who is not sulking.

:|

Who the hell has furniture that costs that much?

:|

For fucking real.

Or the reverse; don't invest large sums of money into a large asset that doesn't have your name on it.

I think that's sensible. If only one person has their name on the deed to the house, the person who doesn't have their name on it should NOT be paying 50% of the mortgage and house expenses and what they DO pay needs to be negotiated as rent and there should be receipts given for that each month.

having an inoperative decoy remote is
BAD.
BAD.
BAD.

having an inoperative decoy remote is
BRILLIANT.
BRILLIANT.
BRILLIANT.


- don't use sex as a bribe or punishment

On the flip side of that, I really cannot fuck someone who I am angry with. It feels dishonest.

EDITED to add: Do not call me at work. I am working.

[RockOn]

What not to do?

I will be careful not to be so trusting so fast and give 100% in the very beginning. I have only given 100% once in my entire life.

Once I fell in love way too quickly with a wonderful woman. I fell so fast and out of control. It was not her fault but entirely mine. That only happened one time in my almost 54 years. It won't happen again.

Today, I keep my heart very guarded and have no use for LDR/Online relationships except for platonic.

Happy Friday to all! :)
Brock

[NJFemmie]

No secrets. Being an open book goes a long way.

[imperfect_cupcake]

1) stop fussing over the other person and trying to do stuff for them all the time. it smothers them and it suffocates me. who am I, my mom??

2) leave wounded people to bleed somewhere else. I'd much rather have someone that doesn't want me to "heal" them from whatever it is they've gone through. you can get some therapy over there ----> and I'm not your mother. However, if someone is working on their sh*t, I'm more than happy to support them.

3) I am not ever going to be a femme in shining armour again. "you are perfectly wonderful you just need someone to love you enough and all your sh*tty behaviour and bitterness about others and cr@ppy outlook and insecurities will magicly go away!" jesus what an ego I had, I swear.

4) hide my issues. If I fuck up, don't lie about it and hide it.

5) don't let anyone else take over my issues. they are mine to deal with and if you want to help I'll tell you what I need from you... that said -

6) don't freak out when someone calls me on my shit. I need a partner who does this and can do in a way I can hear them.

7) someone who can't be called on *their* shit. That's fucking irritating. go away.

8) think that it's ok they aren't into the same stuff as me. it's totally not. I very much need a companion and best mate as a partner. so that means I need someone who wants to spend a lot of time with me doing things I find fun, important and fulfilling. Not everything but most things.

9) watch my tone of voice, young lady. I used to have a horrible "tone" even though I didn't mean it. I wasn't even aware I did it. I have successfully cracked that.

10) Don't try and have LTR with butches who don't switch. I have tried to fit into other people's sexualities but it's only possible when it's casual short term (<6 months).

[dark_crystal]

EDITED to add: Do not call me at work. I am working.

and do not second-guess me when i tell you i cannot do something because of a work conflict- including posting online, sending a fax for you, taking a day off, or returning your phone call. Even if "last time" i could, if i say "this time i can't," then i seriously can't!

i am the only one who knows for sure what will and will not be cool with the powers that be on any given day!

[Lynn]

While concern for my safety and wellbeing is great, don't patronize me and treat me like I'm incapable of taking care of myself. I assure you, I can and I will.

[Soon]

Expect a pattern of behaviour or a certain appearance based on previous lovers and/or what you think a woman or femme should be like.

[dark_crystal]

6) don't freak out when someone calls me on my shit. I need a partner who does this and can do in a way I can hear them.

"can do in a way I can hear them" cannot be overstated! Constructive criticism and correction are always appreciated, but too often in my (officially and admittedly and notoriously f@cked up) past, these "opportunities for growth" have been appropriated by my partners as "opportunities for putting me in my place."

if you kindly suggest an alternative method of doing something in the future- that is wonderful...if you contemptuously sneer at my "fail," that is about your need to make me feel "less than"

[MrSunshine]

Expect a pattern of behaviour or a certain appearance based on previous lovers and/or what you think a woman or femme should be like.



Yes, same can be said for butch/he/she/whatnot should be like. Individuality is hard for some to separate I suppose.

[Soon]

Yes, same can be said for butch/he/she/whatnot should be like. Individuality is hard for some to separate I suppose.

yes, i was going to edit it to include the other way around too, but i got caught up in something.

it seems like people were posting from their *me* space so that is why i originally wrote what i did.

but i agree with you! some may wish to mash a new lover into an old or set mental framework (for either gender)--not cool.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Please disclose any kind of mental illness, sexual illness, ANY kind of illness early on in the relationship.

No surprise body take overs from your Russian Uncle making you speak tongues and all that or violent outbursts where I am having to dodge candles and the cookie jar cause you forgot to mention you had MPD.

[TenderKnight]

mmm.. Very good one.. I once had an ex that was skitzo-effective (spl).. I didn't know about it until she stopped taking her meds.. WOW.. When your partner seriously shushes you everytime you talk above a whisper *because the neighbors can hear*.. and you can't listen to the radio because of the microphones your boss installed.. Or talk at all when a plane is flying above and they are listening to us.. That is when you know it's getting pretty heavy..

Now, granted, I am still not sure if she *knew* she was that sick or not.. Her dad was sending her "allergy" meds for years until she started wondering why she was taking so many allergy meds.. *sighs*

Full disclouser is a GOOD thing, folks.. If I am going to be your partner, I deserve to know everything that is going on with you that would effect our lives together.

[Apocalipstic]

The first time they check your cell phone for texts and you they demand an explanation for all your contacts, they need to GO!

The first time they start nagging about how much caffeine free diet coke you drink or why you iron your jeans...buh bye!

If their Mom thinks its OK to call for no emergency at 5am. Ciao!

and yeah, if they are jealous of the DOG, what can I tell ya.....

Maybe sleeping with them and getting poisoned by the pussy on the first date is not such a good idea. Causes dain bramage. Then by the time you (meaning I) recover it is often too late.

[Soon]

"poisoned by the pussy!"

:giggle:

[Rockinonahigh]

After reading through all thats been posted,it seems I really dodged a huge pot hole by staying single all these years..holy gosh!!

[asphaltcowboi]

when having coffee and reading the paper if she says why arnt you LOOKING at me your not even hearing what i say..DO NOT REPLY try turning around.

[SuperFemme]

don't bother going past the hook up stage if you haven't mastered the art of communication.

[The_Lady_Snow]

If you try to go to the bathroom, work, or check the mail and this happens:


eocCPDxKq1o


You may be in a bad relationship...:seeingstars:

[SuperFemme]

if you ever walk in on THIS, leave.

svaBSVg3fcY

[Dylan]

DON'T leave your chainsaw on the kitchen floor in front of the coffee maker


Turns Out, Femmes (sweeping generalization) Really Don't Like Walking Into The Chain Of A Chainsaw And Cutting Their Feet Really Bad Before Coffee,
Dylan

Trust me! This has the potential to make for a very unhappy femme. I don't know about butches. I also don't know if there's a different reaction AFTER coffee (but I'm assuming not).

[jenny]

I also don't know if there's a different reaction AFTER coffee (but I'm assuming not).

Ummmmm... no.

Just sayin'.

[violaine]

think if anyone mentions hating 'rodents' [read: guinea pigs], that person will ever ask about or be interested in their well-being!

believe if anyone yells at me in the middle of a melt-down [they induced, and then made about them] - AS will be understood.

forget to step outside of my comfort zone once in a while if someone else wants to try going somewhere i'd usually rather avoid.

exclude a future partners' lovely ex from ever having a standing 'spot at the end of the couch' along with mine.

[miss entycing]

do NOT......

flippin lie to me- it's a deal breaker... no matter how much I love you, I don't have to live with lies.

ever ever ever forget an anniversary... how hard is that, really?

ever ever ever forget my birthday- if nothing else... at least acknowledge it.

get all snippity when the other calls you on your shit- deal with it if you did it!

play games with my ego- every now and again.... tell me I'm beautiful- it never used to be that hard to say.

ignore it when the other is hurting... even if we're fussing, we are both hurting.

forget the 'little' things we love about our lives.

take for granted that the other will put up with bullshit and lies.... remember, you loved me once- so can someone else.

[SuperFemme]

do not:

have the tp roll from under
leave top off toothpaste (or forget to squeeze it)
put lady garments in the dryer
attempt to be an instant parent to children that aren't yours
criticize parenting or said children
try to change anyone
pretend you are someone you are not
forget that it takes 2 years to get to know someone

[Gemme]

The first time they check your cell phone for texts and you they demand an explanation for all your contacts, they need to GO!

The first time they start nagging about how much caffeine free diet coke you drink or why you iron your jeans...buh bye!

If their Mom thinks its OK to call for no emergency at 5am. Ciao!

and yeah, if they are jealous of the DOG, what can I tell ya.....

Maybe sleeping with them and getting poisoned by the pussy on the first date is not such a good idea. Causes dain bramage. Then by the time you (meaning I) recover it is often too late.

Absolutely.

I'm strict about privacy. My cell, computer, email, etc is MINE. If I want to show you something in it, I will. Don't go snooping or you will be looking for another girlfriend.

I appreciate concern about what I do, say, put into my body, etc but it's MY body, so it's MY choice. Unless it's illegal, you get one comment. Then I'll know how you feel about it. I don't need a running commentary every time I pop a piece of candy in my mouth (which is a lot).

[The_Lady_Snow]

If your current accuses you of having *affairs* at work, comes to your work to catch you in the act, and insists you are having an affair.

You may be in a bad relationship.

If you make up all the above in your head, do not be in a relationship

:|

[Apocalipstic]

DON'T leave your chainsaw on the kitchen floor in front of the coffee maker


Turns Out, Femmes (sweeping generalization) Really Don't Like Walking Into The Chain Of A Chainsaw And Cutting Their Feet Really Bad Before Coffee,
Dylan

Trust me! This has the potential to make for a very unhappy femme. I don't know about butches. I also don't know if there's a different reaction AFTER coffee (but I'm assuming not).


I might actually notice the chainsaw if I had already had coffee.

do NOT......


ever ever ever forget my birthday- if nothing else... at least acknowledge it.




I have to have hints, like "I have a birthday coming up" or "remember, next Tuesday is my birthday!" I am terrible at remembering dates.



do not:


leave top off toothpaste (or forget to squeeze it)


Get your own toothpaste and step off what I do with mine :)

Absolutely.

I'm strict about privacy. My cell, computer, email, etc is MINE. If I want to show you something in it, I will. Don't go snooping or you will be looking for another girlfriend.

I appreciate concern about what I do, say, put into my body, etc but it's MY body, so it's MY choice. Unless it's illegal, you get one comment. Then I'll know how you feel about it. I don't need a running commentary every time I pop a piece of candy in my mouth (which is a lot).

Yeah, no snooping. I am not sneaky and it chaps my ass of someone suggests I am.

And if I do something like eat candy or whatever before we became a couple, don't criticize me for it later and ask if I am "ON" sugar. :(

If your current accuses you of having *affairs* at work, comes to your work to catch you in the act, and insists you are having an affair.

You may be in a bad relationship.

If you make up all the above in your head, do not be in a relationship

:|

Why would I want to spend any more time with work people than I already have to????

people are nuts!

[Apocalipstic]

Ha! Collectively we have dated some doozies! Grin!

[The_Lady_Snow]

If you have a tendency to want to *take* the toys with you, so they are not used on anyone else..

Do NOT be in a relationship or please disclose.

[Apocalipstic]

If you have a tendency to want to *take* the toys with you, so they are not used on anyone else..

Do NOT be in a relationship or please disclose.

Yes, exaggerating your level of brokenuppedness is a nono....like I am not going to find out?

[Apocalipstic]

I have to repeat that calling friends, family, workplace of an ex or someone you have dated to complain about them...or ask for advice...or if they won't call you back ....is really bad form.

It is even worse form to call another ex and ask them :|

Oh, and if someone you have dated will not call you back? Don't break into their apartment in the middle of the night.

:readfineprint:

[SuperFemme]

better yet? do not hit on me while telling the other girls you're hitting on what a player/whore i am.

in the end, (even if it takes years) people are gonna end up comparing notes.

[SuperFemme]

I have to repeat that calling friends, family, workplace of an ex or someone you have dated to complain about them...or ask for advice...or if they won't call you back ....is really bad form.

It is even worse form to call another ex and ask them :|

Oh, and if someone you have dated will not call you back? Don't break into their apartment in the middle of the night.

:readfineprint:

yeah. but what if i "accidentally" left something there so they'd have me back over?

:jester:

[violaine]

give in to temptation - no matter how much the desire kicks in to bother someone during late night/early morning who has but a few hours left to sleep, has trouble sleeping in general, requires a full eight or nine hours of rest - to run some ideas past them about humane treatment of animals / community issues!

[The_Lady_Snow]

If you have a tendency to hide relationships, or ask an ex not to let anyone know you were once together.

DO NOT be in a relationship.

Full disclosure is appreciated by all parties involved.

[SuperFemme]

do not put the moves on your honeys best friend, sister or mother.

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT drink out of my glass and not let me know.....

[Apocalipstic]

yeah. but what if i "accidentally" left something there so they'd have me back over?

:jester:

Nice try! :)

give in to temptation - no matter how much the desire kicks in to bother someone during late night/early morning who has but a few hours left to sleep, has trouble sleeping in general, requires a full eight or nine hours of rest - to run some ideas past them about humane treatment of animals / community issues!


Amen, if it can wait till morning, let it!

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT think you can just come up and use my Hello Kitty blankie.

[WolfyOne]

DO NOT think you can just come up and use my Hello Kitty blankie.


I'd poke my eyeballs out first

I'm more of a Scooby Doo person myself :|

[Daywalker]

Never answer:
"Who's ear rings are those...?"

with

"I dunno..., they're not yours?"

:|

:doh:

:daywalker:

[WolfyOne]

do not put the moves on your honeys best friend, sister or mother.


I am having a BMI with TMI :thud:

[The_Lady_Snow]

I am having a BMI with TMI :thud:


Please disclose any scat fetish before entering ANY relationship...:readfineprint:

[Jet]

yeah i think it's time i write that book, i bet we all could too!
what NOT to do........

#1 do not give away all your power during the honeymoon sex part.......
as in have a backbone, don't let your partner run the whole show. that sets the tone and culture for the whole rest of the relationship.

i'm lost with this comment. i'd make it known what is acceptable and what isn't during the entire course of dating, not after partnering/marriage. If you can't express opinions or disagree during dating, something is really wrong.

[The_Lady_Snow]

i'm lost with this comment. i'd make it known what is acceptable and what isn't during the entire course of dating, not after partnering/marriage. If you can't express opinions or disagree during dating, something is really wrong.


Do you have sex on the first date?

[WolfyOne]

Please disclose any scat fetish before entering ANY relationship...:readfineprint:


Are you saying we can't be related, I mean in a relationship because I had a bad mental image

[violaine]

ignore your own instincts

[Apocalipstic]

i'm lost with this comment. i'd make it known what is acceptable and what isn't during the entire course of dating, not after partnering/marriage. If you can't express opinions or disagree during dating, something is really wrong.

I think this applies if you have sex on the first date, or ummm, before the first date :)

[The_Lady_Snow]

Do not try to play people especially if the community is small.

[Apocalipstic]

Do not try to play Me, then act all hurt if it does not work out as you planned.

:glasses:

[The_Lady_Snow]

Do not open the box of Cocoa Krispies they are mine, *I* like to be the one who opens them.

[SuperFemme]

do not be a knight in shining armor. i will find your rust.
do not tell me how all of your exes abused you. i will be cynical.
do not expect to know everything about me in three dates.
it's gonna take a few years to peel these layers.
do not get angry when i don't disclose all my life to you.
when we are getting to know each other.
do not sit around and gossip about everyone in a hateful manner,
i won't call you back because gee? how will you talk about me when
i am not there?

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT make me choose between NASCAR and you.....

[violaine]

[QUOTE=SuperFemme;164075]
do not expect to know everything about me in three dates.
it's gonna take a few years to peel these layers.
do not get angry when i don't disclose all my life to you.
when we are getting to know each other.
do not sit around and gossip about everyone in a hateful manner,
i won't call you back because gee? how will you talk about me when
i am not there?

i just posted something similar elsewhere.

forget to ask: who is there for you, if you're constantly holding someone up twenty-four seven, who cannot see, or work on their own self esteem issues.

[betenoire]

Do not tell me the password to your email for any reason. Cuz after we break up I will break into your email account and edit your signature so that it says something REAL unflattering. Then I will check back regularly to see if you've noticed yet. (Yes, I have.)

Please disclose any kind of mental illness, sexual illness, ANY kind of illness early on in the relationship.

No surprise body take overs from your Russian Uncle making you speak tongues and all that or violent outbursts where I am having to dodge candles and the cookie jar cause you forgot to mention you had MPD.

For fucking real. If there is a risk that I will wake up in the middle of the night and discover you sitting on the floor colouring and babbling in 4-year-old speak - I wanna know in advance. So that at the very least I can wear pjs. I can't be naked in the same room as someone who is colouring - I just fucking can't.

[WolfyOne]

With all the things I'm learning not to do in a relationship :thinking:








I may never date again :worried:

[Rockinonahigh]

One thing we havent discused is about haveing relationships with difrently abled ppl..our diffrences can be a deal breaker of the other person dosent take the time to communacate the how and when along with other things that do and will come up.In my case im very hard of hearing so sometimes I will hear fairly clear or I may have a problem of hearing but not understanding spoken words.I have some vertago wich is a pain in the ass when it hits,I havent herd a wisper in years..then there is the issue with my back that causes me to have to be creative with sex..its possable just diffrent.I have found that some just dont feel comfortable in dealing with any kind of diffrently abled person or there situations.I have been made to feel less than because of this..I know im not the only one that has this problem.

[SassyLeo]

One of the best pieces of advice I got about relationships was from my father:

Always be clear and communicative about your boundaries and expectations :deal:

[Emmy]

Try not to take one another for granted too much; try to notice small kindnesses.

[NJFemmie]

Do not follow your head - follow your heart.
The heart is love's domain, the head is just there to complicate things.

[betenoire]

Do not follow your head - follow your heart.
The heart is love's domain, the head is just there to complicate things.

I disagree with that 100%, just saying.

[TenderKnight]

If you have a tendency to want to *take* the toys with you, so they are not used on anyone else..

Do NOT be in a relationship or please disclose.

LOL.. You know how many people come in to my work saying that thier ex took all of thier toys?? Cheese and Rice, people.. It's a TOY.. and I'll be damned if an ex is going to take my packer.. Totally lame.. Taking all the toys.. But good for my business! So, if you live in San Diego, go ahead and take the toys, the expensive silicone ones and leather, please.. If anywhere else in the country.. Yer lame.

-Tony, from me space.. lol

[Random]

I disagree with that 100%, just saying.

I agree with you chicky girl..

You listen to what the heart is saying, but the head makes all the important desisions..

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT ask me to choose between Mine and you.

They will always win out.

[TenderKnight]

Do not expect me to be an insta father for your kid(s).. Not my place, never will be.

[betenoire]

I agree with you chicky girl..

You listen to what the heart is saying, but the head makes all the important desisions..

Right, if I had paid more attention to my head when I was younger I would have avoided a zillion messy situations.

And besides, sometimes my vagine tries to trick me by dressing up in a heart-suit. Fortunately my vagine does not own a head-suit.

Such trickery!

[Random]

Right, if I had paid more attention to my head when I was younger I would have avoided a zillion messy situations.

And besides, sometimes my vagine tries to trick me by dressing up in a heart-suit. Fortunately my vagine does not own a head-suit.

Such trickery!


Uh huh..

See the way I figure it.. the heart is all about the coulor red.. It's got a real heart on for it..

So.. It doesn't pay attention to the red flags.. It thinks they are cute..

[TenderKnight]

Don't name drop your ex's :|

NOT attractive and I'll see you as a douch and pretty lame.

In fact, name dropping is totally lame anyway. I don't want to know who you've played with or who you are fucking or have fucked.. Lame.

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT tell me how my gender appearance should be...

[Daywalker]

Do not have a 'remember when' moment...then be
adamant they should remember.
:readfineprint:

Chances are, the 'remember when' was from your previous relationship.
:|

:daywalker:

[asphaltcowboi]

never let anyone put lipstick on the crotch of you jeans even if they were just goofing off.. then dont walk arond the bar like that the rest of the eve..and when ya get home.. might not be wise to ask her if she knows how to get lipstick out of jeans. toss um!! unless you like your jeans more then your g/f.

[The_Lady_Snow]

If you are in a monogamous relationship, DO NOT allow anyone's lips near your crotch..

If you did, please disclose all info to the other person so everyone is on the same page.

AKA don't lie.

[SuperFemme]

just the crotch?

[amiyesiam]

just the crotch?

apparently LOL

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT fall for the whole hey my friend spending the night and she has to sleep in our bed with me cause she can't drive another ten minutes (sober) while I am out of town.

[Dylan]

Don't smoke your partner's last cigarette leaving your partner without one for the morning


I Also Don't Advise Talking Before Coffee,
Dylan

[Kenna]

DO NOT take the last of my Hawaiian Kona Coffee without offering to share!!

Never push my buttons then expect me to be Marry Poppins or June Cleaver. I have a Ziggy Panic Button, Watchout Warning Button, and a Nuclear Meltdown Button. None of which have an Instant Shut Off Valve when someone intentionally pushes my buttons to get a rise outa me or to just get attention.

DO NOT tell me you are currently single and that you have only had one girl friend in the past 6 years... then I "find" your marriage license (to a different girl 2 years ago) online and when confronted you say "I left her 2 months after we got hitched and I forgot about her. I only married her because she needed a green card."

NEVER neglect to do a back ground check if something doesn't feel just right... it doesn't hurt to protect yourself from scumbags and con artists.

DO NOT paint my Craftsmen Tools pink just so you can tell my set from yours.

Never allow your mother to snoop around and open my Route 66 box ("just because it was laying there and she was curious what kind of boots you like").... trust me, the shock will kill her.

[SuperFemme]

don't make me snuggle all night after hot sex.
i need space.

[Jesse]

Do Not...I repeat...DO NOT drink my last diet coke! I don't care that you are thirsty, or that you are going to the store in 1/2 hour. Don't do it!

[Enchantress]

Always follow your head. Listen to your heart, but don't let it make the decisions. I know I don't.

[Ebon]

Don't ask your partner to bring you and your "study partner" some food right after you have had sex. At least let the smell disappear before.

[Dylan]

If I'm drinking milk or a milky-like substance (to include, but not limited to, milkshakes, bowls of cereal, protein shakes, chocolate milk), DO NOT just grab the glass and take a sip. In fact, don't even ask me for a sip. Milk is NOT one of those 'sharable' beverages. Because of the consistency of milk, it creates a milk/slobber suspension in which the slobber of others sits suspended in the liquid and not actually absorbed or killed by the beverage (Coke, for example, has enough chemicals to actually kill slobber, making it a "sharable" beverage).



Also, Please Don't Drink Out Of The Milk Carton (same reasons as above),
Dylan...will save you some when I'm done, but we can't have a "back and forth" share-fest when it comes to milky beverages

[asphaltcowboi]

If you are in a monogamous relationship, DO NOT allow anyone's lips near your crotch..

If you did, please disclose all info to the other person so everyone is on the same page.

AKA don't lie.

ok so what if your goofing off and the girl sitting at the bar next to you drops her lighter and youve been cutting up mostly with your butch buds and and being funny you say.." while your down there" then bam! real quick she bites you there... and ya dont think anything off it until someone says something.. i was honest and still she never got over it!!
oh well way in the past.. just came to mind

[Soft*Silver]

I think if a bf of mine said to a girl in a bar, "while you are down there" I would
1) question why he would talk trash to a strange girl
2) question why he would think it was an appropriate thing to say when he is in a relationship
3) question his ability to make proper judgements about other things beyond the safety of the zipper of his pants
4) question why I am in a relationship with someone who would make me question 1, 2 and 3
5)tell my BF that being honest doesnt make you unaccountable for your lack of good judgement. It just means you are throwing it all out there at once so you wont have to go thru it inch by inch
6) decide if a strange girl could put her mouth there on a dare, I sure wasnt going to put my mouth there again out of love. The sacredness of our sex would have been violated, and what makes it even worse, is that it was all funny. It wasnt even done seriously...

not picking on you, Cody...it just struck a raw cord in me. You didnt upset me..the scenario did...


ok so what if your goofing off and the girl sitting at the bar next to you drops her lighter and youve been cutting up mostly with your butch buds and and being funny you say.." while your down there" then bam! real quick she bites you there... and ya dont think anything off it until someone says something.. i was honest and still she never got over it!!
oh well way in the past.. just came to mind

[Daywalker]

Wait until you get home to point out that she haz mouth gooey's.

:|

:daywalker:

[asphaltcowboi]

I think if a bf of mine said to a girl in a bar, "while you are down there" I would
1) question why he would talk trash to a strange girl
2) question why he would think it was an appropriate thing to say when he is in a relationship
3) question his ability to make proper judgements about other things beyond the safety of the zipper of his pants
4) question why I am in a relationship with someone who would make me question 1, 2 and 3
5)tell my BF that being honest doesnt make you unaccountable for your lack of good judgement. It just means you are throwing it all out there at once so you wont have to go thru it inch by inch
6) decide if a strange girl could put her mouth there on a dare, I sure wasnt going to put my mouth there again out of love. The sacredness of our sex would have been violated, and what makes it even worse, is that it was all funny. It wasnt even done seriously...

not picking on you, Cody...it just struck a raw cord in me. You didnt upset me..the scenario did...

yes i hear ya but we had all been cutting up.. having fun her included.. actualy a few girls were messing with us butches and we didnt start it
and she did it as a joak!!! he he ya know fun? see thats why i said never let it happen!! it was a reaction and fun was had by all.. im sorry your so up tight about it.

[Gayla]

/ im sorry your so up tight about it.

Just because someone thinks differently, doesn't make them up tight.

[asphaltcowboi]

Just because someone thinks differently, doesn't make them up tight.
by uptight i was refering to this part of her post.


Cody...it just struck a raw cord in me. You didnt upset me..the scenario did...

[Gayla]

Again, she puts a different value on things than you do. If there is anything I've learned from this thread, it's that each of us have very different ideas of what is important in a relationship and in interactions with a partner. That doesn't make any of them wrong or right.

[Gemme]

For the record, if my partner came home with another girl's lipstick on their crotch, they'd sleep on the couch or floor that night while I figured things out and then they'd most likely get out the next day. I do not play games like that because...when *I'm* with *my* friends and some butches come up and we're all messing around and when another butch puts parts of their body on mine...whether joking or not...*my* partner would get upset, and rightfully so. That shit feels terrible and I don't want to be with someone who can so easily minimalize my feelings. I'm with softness on this one. The scenario sucks; this is NOT a judgement call on any of your past experiences, cody. Just the situation as it would apply to me.

If I were single and that happened, it would be a totally different situation because I would not have a relationship with someone else that should be honored above temporary fun.

Do not open the box of Cocoa Krispies they are mine, *I* like to be the one who opens them.

Riiight? I've never been with someone that shared all of my likes/dislikes in food, so there's always been MINE and YOURS and OURS. Eat whatever you want from the OURS foods, but I don't eat YOURS without permission and I expect the same to apply to MINE. If I am craving that ice cream or candy or cake or whatever and I go to look for it and it's either gone or almost gone or opened when I know damn well I didn't open it, I won't be a happy girl.

don't make me snuggle all night after hot sex.
i need space.

I need sleep. :blink:

[asphaltcowboi]

For the record, if my partner came home with another girl's lipstick on their crotch, they'd sleep on the couch or floor that night while I figured things out and then they'd most likely get out the next day. I do not play games like that because...when *I'm* with *my* friends and some butches come up and we're all messing around and when another butch puts parts of their body on mine...whether joking or not...*my* partner would get upset, and rightfully so. That shit feels terrible and I don't want to be with someone who can so easily minimalize my feelings. I'm with softness on this one. The scenario sucks; this is NOT a judgement call on any of your past experiences, cody. Just the situation as it would apply to me.

If I were single and that happened, it would be a totally different situation because I would not have a relationship with someone else that should be honored above temporary fun.



Riiight? I've never been with someone that shared all of my likes/dislikes in food, so there's always been MINE and YOURS and OURS. Eat whatever you want from the OURS foods, but I don't eat YOURS without permission and I expect the same to apply to MINE. If I am craving that ice cream or candy or cake or whatever and I go to look for it and it's either gone or almost gone or opened when I know damn well I didn't open it, I won't be a happy girl.



I need sleep. :blink:

ok thats why it was posted in the things not to do!!! i fought this battle once many years ago i learned from it.. and didnt realize by posting it "as something not to do" i would feel i had to defend mself..

[Gemme]

ok thats why it was posted in the things not to do!!! i fought this battle once many years ago i learned from it.. and didnt realize by posting it "as something not to do" i would feel i had to defend mself..

No defense necessary. We are commenting on the situation itself as it would pertain to us, not on you personally. I'm pretty sure the same comments would arise if it'd been a "Hey, I heard that someone did this once and it seems like a bad idea so I'm going to put it in here" thing versus a "Hey, this happened and it sucked, so don't do it" thing.

[BestButchBoy]

Do NOT ignore the KISS (keep it simple stupid) philosophy: When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time.

Thinking about it. Feeling it. Worrying about it. Will not change anyone or their behavior. You may ask for what you want (and hopefully you do) BUT. You can't change anyone, save yourself. Everything begins and ends with yourself. Empower yourself in all your relationships (and life) because nothing else will work.

Seriously.

[NJFemmie]

One thing I personally hate is pretentiousness.
Be real and keep it real.
Head games might amuse "you", but may not entertain everyone.

[NJFemmie]

I disagree with that 100%, just saying.

This approach may not work for everyone.
... just sayin. :)

[dark_crystal]

Do not tell me the password to your email for any reason. Cuz after we break up I will break into your email account and edit your signature so that it says something REAL unflattering. Then I will check back regularly to see if you've noticed yet. (Yes, I have.)

lol i have never changed anything but i have logged in to read the messages and cackle gleefully...i figure if i wasn't supposed to do it you wouldn't have told me your password...once.....five years previously

One thing I personally hate is pretentiousness.
Be real and keep it real.
Head games might amuse "you", but may not entertain everyone.

OMG srsly this makes me barf...and after going through a conservatory studio arts program and becoming a librarian and being exposed to every book, movie, and cd that has come out since 1989- i guarantee i know way more about culture than you do and like Twilight and the Jonas Brothers in spite of it all.

[The_Lady_Snow]

yes i hear ya but we had all been cutting up.. having fun her included.. actualy a few girls were messing with us butches and we didnt start it
and she did it as a joak!!! he he ya know fun? see thats why i said never let it happen!! it was a reaction and fun was had by all.. im sorry your so up tight about it.

Hi Cody!

It's not you having to defend yourself it's what NOT to do right?


I mean I am a girl and if there were a bunch of butches *yacking* it up I certainly would not think that me putting my mouth on any part of them especially if they are with someone is OK and hell I am a pretty open person and sexual but still know boundaries.

I guess that is what makes us all different in the long run, you see it as a joke and well some of us see it as poor choice on the girls part for not listening to you that you had a girl and you contemplating lying to your girl.

Lesson in all this is.

Milk sharing is icky beyond all get out right up there with SCAT and allowing girls to put their lips on one's crotch ARE NOT good things for a relationship! :)

[firie]

don't take his last dollar bill out of the big daddy wallet because he likes to always have one for a coke in a can

unless you want a big daddy fit about never having any big daddy bills

teehee

[theoddz]

I've always said that, when you're with someone, don't do things that they could even interpret as being improper. Consider their feelings and how they might see it before you do something that you may feel (and know) is innocent, but they may view it differently. Why do things that beg for trouble??

I think the most valued traits in a healthy relationship are respect and consideration. If you don't have those two basic things, you don't have anything.

~Theo~ :bouquet:

[Stearns]

Don't walk in front of me, I will not follow
Don't walk behind me, we may both get lost
Walk beside me and be my equal

I gotta say, sometimes I like to walk a bit behind. I like the view.
(I know you meant yours figuratively.)

[Soon]

I gotta say, sometimes I like to walk a bit behind. I like the view.
(I know you meant yours figuratively.)

*shaking my head*

and walking away ;)

[SuperFemme]

don't push me.
i have strong thighs and i'll break your glasses one day.

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT ever try come between a femme and her bestie.....

[Gemme]

Don't be a practical joker that doesn't know when the joke is over.

Don't assume you are smarter than your partner. Gut instinct knows the truth.

Don't rearrange my kitchen while I'm at work. :blink:

[SuperFemme]

do NOT expect me to be your maid.
i don't roll like that and will not play ward & june with anyone.
morticia and gomez is more akin to my style.

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell me how I need to be more demure.

[Billy]

Ha! Collectively we have dated some doozies! Grin!



I'll say :blink:

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT!!!! Go to your beloveds friends to discuss how to fix your beloved cause she won't comply to your neediness.

[Billy]

don't push me.
i have strong thighs and i'll break your glasses one day.

First you take My socks away , now you break My glasses :blink: Whats next My speedo or My boa ! :)

[Soft*Silver]

lol...I know, Cody, I AM uptight about it...lol....like I said this was just what *I* would do...

I am cool with you...I wasnt replying like I was talking to you...I was replying in general. I think you are a great guy and definetely have your way of doing things and what works for you is what works for you and I will defend your right to be who you are to then enth degree....

no intended nastiness from me, Cody...:jester: nor from anyone else, from what I see. We are all just saying how we would react if it happened to us....


yes i hear ya but we had all been cutting up.. having fun her included.. actualy a few girls were messing with us butches and we didnt start it
and she did it as a joak!!! he he ya know fun? see thats why i said never let it happen!! it was a reaction and fun was had by all.. im sorry your so up tight about it.

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT!!! become a stage 5 Klingon one week into dating.....

If you ARE a stage 5 please advice all parties involved.

[Soft*Silver]

dont take better care of an ex than you do me. If you are in a relationship with me, dont tell me I need to be self sufficient but an ex needs your help. I will resent the hell out of both of you...

Dont tell me I cant have a horse. Seriously, dont. It will be one of the straws that break the camel's back...

dont make fun of my family. God help you. There is nobody perfect in this world and we all have our issues but if you amplify my family's issues into a good set of jokes around the table with friends, you will be served shit on your plate the next day...

ooo...does that count as scat???

[Soft*Silver]

dont invite your friends over to meet your new girlfriend, then get angry after they leave and tell her you KNOW she was flirting with them....thats really stupid and qualifies you technically as a first class jerk....

when in a supposed committed relationship, dont leave your ex your power of attorney because she has more of a history with you. It makes the new GF feel like she is just on loan....

ditto for whose name is on your checks....

and as beneficiary on your insurance policies

and lets not talk about the will...

and when your new gf tells you that your ex wanted to know if her name was still on all of these, dont turn it around and say your new GF is just jealous when what she really is, is concerned...for you

dont introduce your gf to your family on Christmas as your friend. Especially if you are very out....

the xmas stocking for your ex needs to be sent to her or put in the trash, not back in the xmas box

DONT show people the face your gf makes when she is coming...you might not ever see that face again...

[dark_crystal]

dont make fun of my family. God help you. There is nobody perfect in this world and we all have our issues but if you amplify my family's issues into a good set of jokes around the table with friends, you will be served shit on your plate the next day...

"well i am not saying anything you haven't said, what is the problem?"
seriously? you have to ask?

which reminds me of another one that maybe only 50% see my way- i am not one hundred percent happy with the design of one of my tattoos. it is my own design. i have mentioned that i would change this one little part of it.

one of my exes, when someone complimented my tattoos, said to the complimenter "yeah except that top one needs some work"

WTF? we fought about it, she had no clue why that would upset me...does anyone else get why i was upset?

[SuperFemme]

do NOT redo my diet and off me magical protein shakes.
i will do things you only have nightmares about to you when you sleep.

do not not not go on and on about marrying me and us having babies after three months of dating. that is gross and VERY scary. my uterus is not rented out easily.

[Jesse]

Don't expect your partner to read your mind. Communicate your needs and desires. Statements such as, "Well if you don't know why I am angry, then I certainly am not going to tell you", will not be given attention by me.

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT!!! think you can use me as a sushi table....

[SuperFemme]

don't tell me you're sending great presents to my kid...and then they never come. you just look like a douche.

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT!!!! use my credit card to buy your other girlfriend a present

That's what poly is for.... So we allllllllll know

[betenoire]

Don't expect your partner to read your mind. Communicate your needs and desires. Statements such as, "Well if you don't know why I am angry, then I certainly am not going to tell you", will not be given attention by me.

For fucking real.

And when I ask what your problem is, absolutely don't say "Forget it. I am stupid and wrong anyway." Because we have never had a conversation in which I told you that you were stupid and wrong - maybe you've had that conversation with some other girl, but don't put that shit on me.

And, plus. You know. If you refuse to tell me what your problem is I am not going to sweet-talk it out of you. All you're doing is pissing me off.

[weatherboi]

please do not flush my marijuana down the toilet!!!
it will do no one any good!!!
:mohawk:

[Julie]

Rule Number 1: Do NOT ever let me TOP You -- It will be over!

:innocent:

[Stearns]

Don't fail to examine the role you may have played in the doo-doo. Maybe you chose to overlook those little red flags that had popped up, or maybe you decided 'unconsciously on purpose' that the relo wasn't good for you and you did stuff to get out of it, in order to preserve your self-hood.

I can't tolerate feeling buffeted about by forces beyond my control. I need to know that I made decisions - unconsciously or not - what those decisions were, and why I made them. Then, I get to decide what to do about it. In doing so, I return my power to me.

[Soft*Silver]

AMEN!!! AMEN!!!! AMEN!!!!


Rule Number 1: Do NOT ever let me TOP You -- It will be over!

:innocent:

[violaine]

forget to apologise-

[Billy]

I am not your ex , don't compare Me to them in any way shape or form :) I am My own person and I make mistakes from time to ...And I am NOT a disabled midget , I can take care of Myself just fine thank you ! :) Just sayin :sunglass:

And if you have been in jail for printing checks or you are the gate keeper to the aliens , or the crazy cat lady , or you can drink a keg by yourself befor dinner and then some please SEE THE DOOR !

[betenoire]

I DID NOT BECOME THE CRAZY CAT LADY INTENTIONALLY, BILLY! REPORTED!
:jester:

[Billy]

I DID NOT BECOME THE CRAZY CAT LADY INTENTIONALLY, BILLY! REPORTED!
:jester:


Oh I didn't know there was more then one :sunglass:

[IrishGrrl]

Billy..who are you talking too? How many cats do you have?? snort*

[Billy]

Billy..who are you talking too? How many cats do you have?? snort*

Hey I will be the first to admit I love animals and I love mine ! :) Perhaps crazy cat lady was not the proper term or name for her , I was trying to be nice :) But she was crazy ! She would call every 5 freakin minutes ! Wake Me up all the time ! And changed who and what she wanted to be on a daily basis :| Oh and I am NOT a Lady ! :):sunglass:

[betenoire]

Hey I will be the first to admit I love animals and I love mine ! :) Perhaps crazy cat lady was not the proper term or name for her , I was trying to be nice :) But she was crazy ! She would call every 5 freakin minutes ! Wake Me up all the time ! And changed who and what she wanted to be on a daily basis :| Oh and I am NOT a Lady ! :):sunglass:

I have a pregnant stray cat locked in my bathroom right now Billy. Want her? She's going to make KITTENS and I promise they will be cute!

I'd keep her, but I really want my bathroom back.

[Billy]

I have a pregnant stray cat locked in my bathroom right now Billy. Want her? She's going to make KITTENS and I promise they will be cute!

I'd keep her, but I really want my bathroom back.


Oh thank you ! But I believe I have more then My share right now ...lol I have a kitten that was saved in the flood here , and she likes to take a shower with Me :|

[Ashton]

DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell me how I need to be more demure.

Don't ask the Femme who brought the Delicious Peach Cobbler to the picnic to marry you in front of your partner. Trust me, it can cause a lot of problems later that evening.

:readfineprint:

dont take better care of an ex than you do me. If you are in a relationship with me, dont tell me I need to be self sufficient but an ex needs your help. I will resent the hell out of both of you...

Dont tell me I cant have a horse. Seriously, dont. It will be one of the straws that break the camel's back...

dont make fun of my family. God help you. There is nobody perfect in this world and we all have our issues but if you amplify my family's issues into a good set of jokes around the table with friends, you will be served shit on your plate the next day...

ooo...does that count as scat???

dont invite your friends over to meet your new girlfriend, then get angry after they leave and tell her you KNOW she was flirting with them....thats really stupid and qualifies you technically as a first class jerk....

when in a supposed committed relationship, dont leave your ex your power of attorney because she has more of a history with you. It makes the new GF feel like she is just on loan....

ditto for whose name is on your checks....

and as beneficiary on your insurance policies

and lets not talk about the will...

and when your new gf tells you that your ex wanted to know if her name was still on all of these, dont turn it around and say your new GF is just jealous when what she really is, is concerned...for you

dont introduce your gf to your family on Christmas as your friend. Especially if you are very out....

the xmas stocking for your ex needs to be sent to her or put in the trash, not back in the xmas box

DONT show people the face your gf makes when she is coming...you might not ever see that face again...





Its really scarey that you would have to even think of telling someone these things.

DO NOT!!! think you can use me as a sushi table....





Killjoy!!

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT!!! Stop all communication with me because your dog passed away, and expect that after a month of you not communicating that all will be ok.

[Graham]

:blink:please do not flush my marijuana down the toilet!!!
it will do no one any good!!!
:mohawk:

OMG say it ain't soooooooooooo!!!!

[Gayla]

There is more than one crazy cat lady. So far, I've known two and I don't think Billy and I have anyone in common.

[IrishGrrl]

Please do not give me a detailed run down about the amazing shit you just took.

Do not rush me to orgasm while fucking me

If I say I need time to think, please dont follow me around the house.

I dont mind harmless flirting, but DO NOT oggle other women all night

Please do not call me to talk, then go on a 20 minute spiel about something ADORABLE your cat did. Then go on for another 20 min's about your OTHER cats!

Never, EVER lie to me, even if it's gonna hurt.

If you are pissed off, or upset about something, talk about it. Passive agressive behavior will get you the boot.

Dont do the running man on the dance floor while we are out with our friends.

If you burp or fart say excuse me.

I may not act like a lady, but dont forget that I am one, and treat me accordingly

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT introduce me as your latina girlfriend and wiggle your eyebrows at your friends.....

[betenoire]

Absolutely do not expect me to spend all of my spare time making words at you. Sometimes nobody has anything to say - and that is OKAY. It is fine to not have anything to talk about. But don't get upset and presume something is wrong when I can't keep up a constant stream of inane chatter.

[Jesse]

Do not "out" me. I don't tell folks what's in your pants, and I see no need for you to tell them what is or isn't in mine! I am 52 years old and as such am perfectly capable of outing myself to whomever I wish to be outed to.

[Rockinonahigh]

Do NOt play me against someone else.
or never let me catch u in our fav resturant at OUR table with some biker then tell me he was an old friend...im not stupid..esp when u 2 have been all over each other..it shows.
When we first meet,dont expect a one night stand..not my style.
Understand sex wont happen till im shure about our feelings about our relationship..I want us to get to know each other before that happends.
If u are a booze head or druggie get help or keep walking.
If u cant manage ur money dont even think about touching mine.
Be nice to my fur kids..if the good feelings are mutual fine if not bye bye.
My son is one of the most accepting persons I know who gets along with nearly every one,dont think u will ever get between us and diss either of us about the other..u will lose.
When we are dateing and arent exclusive,see anyone u want,when we are an ithem I will not be one of ur stable of studs in every town..I am not a toy boi.

[Julie]

Do not ask me for my truth
and then punish me for giving it
If you pretend everything is okay in the world when it is not
Do not expect me to know -- I am not a mind reader

[The_Lady_Snow]

DO NOT ever let my leather fall from your hands onto the floor....

[adorable]

Don't take love for granted.

Love is a VERB - it is something you do. Be open. Be giving.

Don't be selfish. It's impossible to love that way.

[Enchantress]

Never, ever, take something that I've shared with you in confidence (regarding my life, experiences, feelings etc..) and throw it back at me, in a twisted, not what I told you way (when you're angry). It is the personification of trust breaking. And, if this occurs, you will never hear another meaningful thing from me again.

[SuperFemme]

do not be afraid of death.

[Jesse]

IF you happen to be doing the laundry...your red panties in with my white socks or tees is a BIG no-no! :sunglass:

[Lynn]

Don't give me ultimatums or tell me what I will not be doing, "or else."

Don't think that I need you more than I love myself.

Don't be afraid or unwilling to accept love and affection to the same degree that you like to give it.

Don't start thinking that I'm better than you (I'm not), or that you don't deserve me (you do). It can only end badly.

Don't treat other people or animals badly and then expect me to trust you to treat me well.

[Zimmeh]

Tranzman,

I am using your post and this is nothing about you, but my ex did this to me. If I want complete strangers to know about my sex life, I may tell them, but please for the love of life, don't tell your friends anything. I am a private person..And don't go threadstalking me and then use what you find against me, especially if it is from almost three years ago...If you don't have trust in me, then I don't have trust in you.

Zimmy

Do not "out" me. I don't tell folks what's in your pants, and I see no need for you to tell them what is or isn't in mine! I am 52 years old and as such am perfectly capable of outing myself to whomever I wish to be outed to.