What TO DO in a relationship.....

[bigbutchmistie]

If he/she tells you you've hurt their feelings, regardless of whether YOU think that whatever it was should've hurt their feelings, apologize and be empathetic. We don't choose to get our feelings hurt, and if you love someone, it shouldn't matter who was right, and they should matter enough to say I'm sorry.

And lastly.... don't lose your crush :)

I absolutely agree with this.. Well said! :)

[Just_G]

Do the laundry in between your work from home day...

Wait, you have to do laundry in a relationship? :blink:

[Scorp]

Yes G...Care to have your undies washed? :boxers:

:gimmehug:


Wait, you have to do laundry in a relationship? :blink:

[girl_dee]

:| :| :| ........

[Starbuck]

Be honest! Don't carry something around in your head, not letting your partner know. It just makes the inevitable that much more painful.

[Soft*Silver]

chose her above any friend you might have. ANY friend. Make HER your best friend. Its ok to have other friends,important to have other friends, but not at the cost of your relationship

be faithful. Or get out. Either way you are the hero in your relationship. Even if you dont follow thru but want to, know she Knows you want to. It hurts. Like Dee said, if you need out, get out, dont make her suffer because you lack balls to be a hero in your relationship.

like yourself more than she loves you. Dont let her carry your self esteem. She isnt strong enuf, no matter how strong she is

[ONLY]

At the end of the day, ask her how her day went, pay attention to her, look her in the eyes when she is speaking to you, and if she had a rough day, let her vent if she needs to, listen and then bring her close to you and hug her tight.....with option to then whisper in her ear..... "now let me take your mind off work........" :love1: If her day made her sad, then comfort her, hold her.......
OR

depending on situation (if she is pissed off, not sad) you might wanna stop her mid sentence and make mad passionate love to her :p then do some talking :)

[Greco]

read together on the same sofa

read to each other on sofa, or bed
or in tent

read to her.

Greco

[girl_dee]

leave your baggage behind, that's where it belongs.

[ONLY]

She reads to me (over the phone) before bed and most times I fall asleep within 5 minutes and she thinks that's adorable and loves it

She says I snore (not all the time, right baby? :p) and think it's peaceful, comforting and cute lol

Now you tell me, is that love or what? ;)
I love listening to her read to me, very calming, comforting, relaxing :) I love you SS (f)

* these are things (fall asleep while she reads and snore) NOT to do in a relationship but for us it works :thumbsup: lol *

[ArkansasPiscesGrrl]

And lastly.... don't lose your crush :)[/COLOR][/B][/QUOTE]



I love this. That is what I want, for me to keep my crush and for my someone to keep hys!

[clay]

Absolutely, APG! I was STILL crushing on my wife..the day she passed! I was so in love with that woman!!! And she, me. I want THAT again!

[Julien]

Listen to her, I mean really listen, don't just "hear" what she says "know" what she says and how she says it.

[Greco]

after you have taken her completely made love to her

hold her hold her forever

and never ever take her for granted.

Greco

[SoulShineFemme]

She reads to me (over the phone) before bed and most times I fall asleep within 5 minutes and she thinks that's adorable and loves it

She says I snore (not all the time, right baby? :p) and think it's peaceful, comforting and cute lol

Now you tell me, is that love or what? ;)
I love listening to her read to me, very calming, comforting, relaxing :) I love you SS (f)

* these are things (fall asleep while she reads and snore) NOT to do in a relationship but for us it works :thumbsup: lol *

I love it that we have this bedtime ritual and that my voice is the last thing you hear before you drift off.... AND you have the cutest lil snore in the world!! I love you with all my heart.

[girl_dee]

enjoy Jello together!

[girl_dee]

Celebrate every anniversary and day!

:awww:

[girl_dee]

Forgive each other and be happy when it's time to move on.

Hold on to the good stuff... let go of the icky stuff.......

[princessbelle]

Share a cold.

http://dl4.glitter-graphics.net/pub/1000/1000474ezf1et2zlg.gif (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

[SoNotHer]

Make sure they know how connected you are to them and how very much you believe in and need that connection.

As impossible as it is to fully show them how special and important they are to you, try.

And let them do all of this for you.

[girl_dee]

Trust. ..........

And take your Vitamin C

[Martina]

-- Show up --

[bigbutchmistie]

Honesty and Communication.

Honesty even if the truth hurts the truth is still the truth and both parties deserve it... ALWAYS

Communication.. Talk about it all! Even if it is insignificant to you it may not be insignificant to your partner.

[Sachita]

fuck long and hard. Decide who does what- assign roles.

[girl_dee]

Have goals as a couple!

[Elijah]

Know when to say when, for both your sakes.

[Leigh]

Communication is definately key, so DO communicate at ALL times :)

[girl_dee]

Yes, talk and be present during the talk! :canadian:

[ONLY]

Remember her favorite snacks :eatinghersheybar: and :wine: .......and have it in the house at all times for those days that she just needs to unwind, put her feet up and have "her" time ....... when she is done with them, put them away (secret place) for the next time she needs it :thumbsup: cause we know....that to leave it in the open is just gonna get you in trouble :| :byebye:
I am teasin' :p Oh have I ever mentioned teasin' each other as in being silly/ funny :p
Also leave her phone message at home (when she is at work) that you miss her and play a a few lines of both your favorite song :)

[VintageFemme]

do.... all the little things. they add up to way more than even one big thing.

[girl_dee]

Go on trips together, get out of the house and enjoy each other!

Hot monkey sex is a bonus!

[bright_arrow]

Remind each other that you are a partnership, not a competition.. and so therefore, it's "One for all and all for one!"

[SoulShineFemme]

Remember her favorite snacks :eatinghersheybar: and :wine: .......and have it in the house at all times for those days that she just needs to unwind, put her feet up and have "her" time ....... when she is done with them, put them away (secret place) for the next time she needs it :thumbsup: cause we know....that to leave it in the open is just gonna get you in trouble :| :byebye:
I am teasin' :p Oh have I ever mentioned teasin' each other as in being silly/ funny :p
Also leave her phone message at home (when she is at work) that you miss her and play a a few lines of both your favorite song :)

I love it when you do these things for me. :bunchflowers: I am so lucky. XO.

[girl_dee]

Greet your love with a warm cup of coffee !!!!

[amiyesiam]

do the things that make them happy
especially if those aren't the things you would want done for you.
Feeling like you have been heard and having someone follow up on that is an awesome feeling!

[Corkey]

do the things that make them happy
especially if those aren't the things you would want done for you.
Feeling like you have been heard and having someone follow up on that is an awesome feeling!



This.... precisely.

[girl_dee]

learn from your mistakes and become a better partner/person

[Kenna]

Honor the friendship and familiarity you share... because it's very unique and will never compare or be the same with someone else... allow yourself to enjoy and not regret the connection you share ...don't regret, only relish and respect

[girl_dee]

Believe in each other!

[Mr Nice Guy]

Be real with each other.

[girl_dee]

be the same wonderful person in real time as you are on line

[MysticOceansFL]

If you can't be truthful and honest at friendship level how can you be anything else , and also was there ever a friendship to start? It takes time to get to know someone.

[princessbelle]

Go to bed together....and cuddle ;)

[girl_dee]

write love notes, we love that sorta thing!

[softheart]

Make promises you keep.
Make yourself easy to love.
Make the one you love feel safe and secure.
No matter what, make the one you love know she is a priority.
Talk about everything, and be brutally honest, even if it's difficult.
Treat her like a queen, and love her in all ways , always.
Build a bond together that noone or no thing can come between .
Apologize for your mistakes, make amends and do better next time. Then make amends again.
Take responsibility for your actions .
Validate her feelings by listening, stop what your doing, even when you're busy and pressed for time.
Always make time for her needs , even if your tired ,injured or bored.
Just a few things I always try to do when I love someone. It doesn't guaranty she won't still choose to walk away, but I don't think it hurts anything.
I love this!

[TimilDeeps]

Be real . . . .

[Martina]

Keep your car in good repair so you can go visit Her when She wants to see you.

:(

[NorCalStud]

Be patient

[girl_dee]

be realistic about things you like or don't dislike in the beginning, that annoying small annoying detail will become a monstrosity after you get serious!

[~ocean]

have your own friends as well as mutual friends. everyone needs space :)

[girl_dee]

don't ever let the honeymoon be over.

[princessbelle]

Always kiss hello and always kiss goodbye. Not to mention all the kisses in between :cheer:

It means so much!!!!!!

[WingsOnFire]

Take time to "be in the moment". Life is too short as I have recently found out the hard way. :)

[girl_dee]

talk, like to each other

[MsTinkerbelly]

Forgive each other for not being perfect.

[Estella]

Holy Mother of God do NOT stop having sex! There's a name for lesbian partners who don't have sex anymore ... they're called roommates.

[Blade]

SHHHHHhhhhhh LISTEN.........this requires your mouth to be closed

[AtLast]

Be present................

[princessbelle]

Go grocery shopping together.

Plan a movie night when you stay home and watch a movie and eat popcorn and curl up on pillows and snuggle!!!!! (f)

Don't ever let the romance go away. Intimacy...all levels of it...is SOOOOOOOOOOO important!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

[dixie]

Talk...openly and honestly.

[Okiebug61]

Love the things about each other that are yet to come.

[girl_dee]

be realistic! life is not a fantasy....

[girl_dee]

Be kind, and honest.

[princessbelle]

In the absolute quiet and stillness of the day....

Listen to the power exchange...it can be very intense and loud. :bunchflowers:

[girl_dee]

be realistic, make goals, have dreams and make a plan, don't just talk about it

[StrongButch]

Treat her like a lady Pick flowers for her on your way home Bring her breakfast in bed every sunday then uuumm (lol)

[Corkey]

share, everything.

[Breathless]

~Talk less, listen more
~never let an I love you go unexpressed
~make your actions match your words
~do silly things together, like dancing in the rain :)
~fall asleep in each others arms
~flirt with each other

[Penelope]

Apologize when you know you have said or done something wrong.

Accept an apology and acknowledge their effort to make one. (f)

[Glenn]

Sell your pedestal on Craigslist but compliment her life and bring her up not down.

Keep your "spidey sense" insurance for those wtf moments.

Make love like it is the last time you will ever have the chance.

Keep your finger on the eject lever for at least he first three months.

Try to do your best to bring half (or more than half) to the table.

[girl_dee]

allow yourself to be loved.

[girl_dee]

Don't assume that the online version, weekend getaway version is the real thing, do your homework and don't hide from the truth. Honesty and reality are crucial to make it work, even the smallest hint of dishonesty will ruin it. Be real about who you are and what your hard limits are. You can't "make" someone fit no matter how badly you want to. The little things in the beginning become the BIG things in the end.

[ruffryder]

It's probably been said a few times,

-Dont' lie.
-Keep communication open.
-Never say it's ok when it's not.
-Forget about pride.
-If you say sorry, mean it.
-Don't compare your past with your present.
-Give and take process.
-Be aware of each other's feelings.
-Be available.

My biggest thing is COMMUNICATION.

[girl_dee]

Love like there is no tomorrow!

[Mr Nice Guy]

Communicate. It's the most important thing.

[Miss Scarlett]

Never lie...never, never, ever! Not in a relationship or just a friendship. Not for ANY reason!

It destroys trust, creates doubt and is just wrong!

[Venus007]

Nurture your own interests and life separate from your partner.
Maintain a little mystery.
Create a time and space just for you and your partner to connect, without distraction or interruption. Make sacred space for your love and relationship.

[AtLast]

Belly laugh together about those "only we can get" things. Let yourselves laugh to the point of tears.

[*Anya*]

Recognize when your defenses are up out of fear or past baggage.

Admit it and talk about it.

Allow yourself the vulnerability that comes from such openness.

It fosters love and closeness.

I work on this daily.

❤

[girl_dee]

Talk, sometimes it's hard as hell but not talking just causes things to fester then they come out way too emotional.

Working on this now.

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Always show appreciation for the things your partner does not matter how small.

When you are busy and cannot talk on the phone; explain politely you will call them back when you are free and say you are thinking of them; it does make a difference to your partner. They will feel wanted even if you can’t spend time with them until later.

When doing things together; like reading, smile, blow a kiss or wink at your partner if you’re not snuggling together.

[imadiva]

Listen with your head not your heart .. Sometimes you don't like to hear whats being said so you block it and get defensive ( I am guilty of this ) but listen and open your heart to whats being presented to you. ALWAYS kiss goodnight even when your mad. Make time to be a couple . I love date nite. We try at least once a week to check in with each other so the little things don't turn into big things ! Choose love always !:bunchflowers:

[girl_dee]

Listen with your head not your heart .. Sometimes you don't like to hear whats being said so you block it and get defensive ( I am guilty of this ) but listen and open your heart to whats being presented to you. ALWAYS kiss goodnight even when your mad. Make time to be a couple . I love date nite. We try at least once a week to check in with each other so the little things don't turn into big things ! Choose love always !:bunchflowers:

Yaknow, this could be the secret for a perfect relationship.

Although i don't kiss when i am mad, i just want to be left alone.

[Sachita]

what to DO....

Be grateful that you have one because a lot of people don't. Cherish it and know that although its not always perfect, you are loved and with very little effort you can make it extraordinary.

[girl_dee]

be realistic! life isn't a fairy tale, If you sugar coat the hard stuff, or ignore those little things that you know are a problem for you, you'll one day choke to death on it... handle the hard stuff accordingly

[JAGG]

When she expresses that something is important to her, make that thing important to you too.
Be her biggest supporter and cheerleader in her goals and dreams.
Do things that make her want to come home.
Make your home a place where she finds peace freedom and happiness.
Create an envoriment so that when anything happens good and bad to her , you're the first person she wants to run to.

[diamondrose]

remember nobody is perfect and when things happen.. esp not intentional things...its not about what happen.. its about the measures taken to assure it doesn't happen again.

[clay]

Love is precious and sacred...keep it both!!
Actively LISTEN......be attentive....observe body language, mannerisms.
Respect one another's individuality.

Make a date night regularly..or a weekend getaway often..just you two...no phones..no TV..just you and her. Add spice to your time spent alone.

Dance and steal a kiss in the rain.

Laugh at silly things. Belly buster laughs are healthy!

Never let the inner child go away...share that at times.

Share a coke float or a banana split....

Forget yesterday...it is gone...enjoy today as tomorrow is a present.

Lie close in one another's arms at night..and dance horizontally...whisper sweet nothings in one another's ear.

Wake her in the middle of the night with that flaming hot desire that drew you to her in the first place..and make love! with wild abandon...grin

Agree to diagree..no one is ever the clear winner if you don't...it is both equally.

Never forget those feelings of how it was when you first fell in love..get those butterfly in your tummy feelings again...ask her for a date.

Don't forget how she takes your breath away..every time she steps into your world.

Validate.....resonate..rejuvenate...keep love young, vibrant, and alive!

[JAGG]

be realistic! life isn't a fairy tale, If you sugar coat the hard stuff, or ignore those little things that you know are a problem for you, you'll one day choke to death on it... handle the hard stuff accordingly

Great advice! Well said.

[girl_dee]

apologize when you need to

[1QuirkyKiwi]

This probably has been posted before….if so, I apologise.

Don’t assume you partner is telepathic; say how you are feeling, even if you have to write your feelings down first before sharing them.

[Greco]

Write her a letter telling her all you admire, and respect about her...tell her exactly why you love to love her...put it in an envelope put a stamp on it and mail it...even if you live together...Greco (OSOF Butch)

[1QuirkyKiwi]

When your partner has had a bad day, a loving hug, even if no words are spoken, speaks volumes.

It’s crucial to continue to woo each other throughout the relationship, from 3 weeks to 30 years. Be each other's cheering section /advocate and always remember to laugh together!

[girl_dee]

be each other's hero!

[girl_dee]

T A L K !!!!!

[Lazy Daze]

Take the time to lay in eachother's arms and let time stand still.

[Kenna]

Discover what fills the other's empty spot and try to understand what gives them focus and makes them feel valued.

[girl_dee]

Feed that Fire!

[spike]

Discover what fills the other's empty spot and try to understand what gives them focus and makes them feel valued.

Awesome!!!

[clay]

respecting YOUR freedom to be YOU! (you know what I mean...grin)

[gaea]

remember daily what you like and appreciate about the other person. Give them respect. show them respect. Value who they are in your life. allow them the space to breathe and just be.

[girl_dee]

Hold on to your OWN beliefs! Don't sell out!

[girl_dee]

maintain friendships beyond the relationship....

[Martina]

Who would do that though? i mean, what grown person would do that?

Hold on to your OWN beliefs! Don't sell out!

[deedarino]

Who would do that though? i mean, what grown person would do that?

You would be surprised how many people hide or change who they really are inside trying to "be" what you want. Eventually it all comes out, usually attached to resentment.

[The JD]

Even when you're angry at your partner, maintain the relationship rituals. In other words, if it's your "job" to make coffee in the morning, make it even if you're still pissed off from the argument you had the night before. Don't take out your anger by undermining the rituals that reinforce the relationship. (easier said than done sometimes, I know...lord, do I know.)

[girl_dee]

Who would do that though? i mean, what grown person would do that?

lots of people, suddenly their new love's interests, beliefs and ideals become theirs.. i prefer to be an individual in the relationship

[Venus007]

Do something physical together other than sex. Dance, wrestle, build something, do partner yoga, anything that connects you physically as a team or even as adversaries. This well help energize your physical connection.

[girl_dee]

Do something physical together other than sex. Dance, wrestle, build something, do partner yoga, anything that connects you physically as a team or even as adversaries. This well help energize your physical connection.

i somehow imagined it all intertwined.

But i'm a pervert like that.

[Quintease]

Be kind.

No matter how angry you are, this person is not your enemy.

Remember that you're an essential part of his or her life and your moods and behaviour DO matter.

[girl_dee]

be careful with your words, you can't take them back.

[Martina]

Yeah, eventually it comes out because how could it not? i guess i know that some people are on best behavior for a long time and some develop new interests. But no one could really pull this off. It's not to the rest of our credit that we do not. Making the attempt is immature at best. And success is simply impossible unless one is Chauncey Gardiner.

You would be surprised how many people hide or change who they really are inside trying to "be" what you want. Eventually it all comes out, usually attached to resentment.

[Martina]

Do something physical together other than sex. Dance, wrestle, build something, do partner yoga, anything that connects you physically as a team or even as adversaries. This well help energize your physical connection.

i totally agree. Getting in sync when you are doing something is a cool thing.

[dixie]

Take the time to enjoy one another. (Quality time may be a cliche, but it's a true one.) It helps you remember why you fell in love in the first place, and helps keep those feelings fresh.

[girl_dee]

Take the time to enjoy one another. (Quality time may be a cliche, but it's a true one.) It helps you remember why you fell in love in the first place, and helps keep those feelings fresh.

Yes and distraction free time is a good thing once in a while.

[girl_dee]

Yeah, eventually it comes out because how could it not? i guess i know that some people are on best behavior for a long time and some develop new interests. But no one could really pull this off. It's not to the rest of our credit that we do not. Making the attempt is immature at best. And success is simply impossible unless one is Chauncey Gardiner.

Yup, or maybe one realizes that they did this, molded their whole life to be someone's perfect fit, and realizes that was a mistake because i feel, a relationship based on anything other than 100% truth will not make it.

[WomenMoveMe]

Be present in all manner and matter.

[girl_dee]

Be present in all manner and matter.

i agree with this so much, undivided attention when it's asked for is important.
i want to be heard, and to hear.

[girl_dee]

learn from mistakes from the past
have a picnic together, that was awesome
see the world together!

[girl_dee]

if you want it, make it happen.If you don't let it go.

[justkim]

Ask questions... lots...
Communicate with each other in all forms... little notes, text messages, emails... you get the point...
As always... little things...

[girl_dee]

be individuals!

[Talon]

Always fight fair...don't allow your emotions to rule you, rule them.

[thedivahrrrself]

DO
~speak out the minute you start to have a problem. Don't wait until it's big and you're fuming about it to bring it up. Remember they can't read minds.

~take your partner at their word. Don't read too much into their actions. Trust that they mean what they say.

~get out of the relationship if the trust is gone. Sometimes it's damaged and can be rebuilt, but when it's gone, it's GONE.

~laugh, a lot, together.

~get out of the house. One of you is bound to go stir crazy.

~have separate activities and interests and friends, but have some together too.

~be clear about what you want out of life, and life together. People who care will live up to reasonable expectations, and if you care, you will too.

~think before you speak or write about your partner. Assume they can hear you at all times, even if they're not there.

~buy/make small thoughtful gifts for no reason, doesn't matter if you're butch or femme. Everyone likes to know they're being though of

[thedivahrrrself]

see the world together!

Ah, yes... Travel together as often as you can. There is nothing like experiencing something new together!

[girl_dee]

DO
~speak out the minute you start to have a problem. Don't wait until it's big and you're fuming about it to bring it up. Remember they can't read minds.

~take your partner at their word. Don't read too much into their actions. Trust that they mean what they say.

~get out of the relationship if the trust is gone. Sometimes it's damaged and can be rebuilt, but when it's gone, it's GONE.

~laugh, a lot, together.

~get out of the house. One of you is bound to go stir crazy.

~have separate activities and interests and friends, but have some together too.

~be clear about what you want out of life, and life together. People who care will live up to reasonable expectations, and if you care, you will too.

~think before you speak or write about your partner. Assume they can hear you at all times, even if they're not there.

~buy/make small thoughtful gifts for no reason, doesn't matter if you're butch or femme. Everyone likes to know they're being though of

this is quite a nice list, thank you! we all forget to do these things!

[girl_dee]

trust but not blindly
live in the real world
be careful of what you intertwine
don't do things you may regret one day
don't be naive

[Julien]

Communication that is honest and open,
to give love freely because life is too short not to,
listen to what your love has to say,
be there for them in all things whether they want you there or not,

[girl_dee]

don't always assume their anger/hurt/moodiness is all about you, sometimes it's something else entirely :)

[Corkey]

Let them help you.

[girl_dee]

be happy for them when they are happy, even after the relationship ends

[Ginger]

If you can't accept what you can't change, leave.

[Greco]

make love

to her mind

her body

her Spirit


often.

Greco

[Justin]

Kiss like its your first date and never stop looking at each other with love like you did in the beginning, the romance never needs to end.

Appreciate each other and what each other has to bring and offer to the relationship. Its like a puzzle that works together and even if there may be a few pieces missing (lets face it none of us are perfect in a relationship) you can still see the beautiful picture that only the two of you make together.

Remember you are on the same team and work together not against each other.

Always try to forgive the little things and remember why you are together.

Support each other through the good times and the bad.

But most of all be loving and kind to each other, and if you cant then respect each other enough to walk away.

[scootebaby]

tell her everyday how beautiful she is

never let her forget what she means to you...even when things arent perfect

let her know she is never far from your thoughts



and as Greco said so well...

be physical

make love

to her mind

her body

her Spirit


often.
physical

[girl_dee]

Throw them over your knee for a good spanking if they are into that!

[starryeyes]

Hold hands, be silly, laugh, experiment, be forgiving, be loyal, be appreciative, be humble and always kiss each other goodnight!! <3

[spritzerJ]

When all heck breaks loose and the turds are flying:
1. plan to run away together but don't really. Instead support the heck out of each other.
2. Joke about cheesecake and have a beverage and some cookies together
3. swoon over the bite marks you left on each other and get all touchy feely!

[girl_dee]

Turn off the computer/TV/games/cellphone and enjoy some time together!

[Julien]

For me loyalty and respect goes a long way, the alternative is not even considered. :rrose:

[jac]

Remind her when she forgets what makes the woes of the world go away and gives her a sense of restored grounding... :heartbeat:
:wine::bunchflowers::candle::phonegab:

[spritzerJ]

Tell your loved on when you need some extra care and don't know what to do. Trust them to help you get a grip and love you mightily!

[jac]

Tell your loved on when you need some extra care and don't know what to do. Trust them to help you get a grip and love you mightily!

Give that sweet someone a gentle reminder... :love1:

Y1_XmUOKIpA

[girl_dee]

appreciate them and don't take them for granted!

[~ocean]

seduce them , pamper thir ego... submitt .

[girl_dee]

Keep it real! Playing house won't get you anywhere.

[scootebaby]

communicate...by any means necessary..be it face to face,email,text...just TALK!!!

be yourself always(unless ur roleplaying ;) )

let them know they are appreciated everyday

laugh together--loud and often

[DamonK]

Forgive yourself for your faults
Forgive them theirs
Admit it when you screw up
Try to fix it

[girl_dee]

yes! be yourself for crying out loud!

i don't want someone who agrees with all of my beliefs and ideals.

i respect someone who has their own set of beliefs and ideals.. it always makes me shake my head (and feel sad) when i see someone dive head first very quickly into the belief system (like religion) of someone else and within a day claiming that as their belief system too. It would creep me out actually.

Maybe that is how someone can appear to be so completely compatible ..... Yup that could be how that happens

[Greco]

scootebaby right on!

I want to add to touch each other often, make love, f*ck often,
but touch every day. Hold hands, touch, kiss her hand, fingers,
kiss her deeply, hold her like its your last day on earth, hold her forever.

Take one day a week to be together and enjoy each others' company, talk about your goals for your life together...cook together, or wash the dishes if your not into cooking.

When you go to bed, look into her eyes, hold her, and tell her how much you do love her...I miss doing all of these things with my wife. So, enjoy your life together, you never know when it will be the last moment.

Greco

[girl_dee]

Goals, yes Goals, have a future!

[thedivahrrrself]

LISTEN... I can be terrible at this one sometimes because I have the attention span of a 3 year old, but it is so nice to actually be listened to! Makes me feel very lucky.

Look in the eyes often. Watch your friends sometimes. You'd be amazed how many couples can go a whole day talking without looking in each other's eyes.

Be appreciative and never take the other person for granted. Be supportive of their endeavors.

Like Greco said, TOUCH. You cannot underestimate the importance of it. For those of us not yet to the point of being together all the time, it's the thing you miss the most. Even better than sex (if there's any such thing ;) )

[jac]

What TO DO in a relationship...


Be present and in the moment

Listen with your heart as well as with your head

Drop the ego and admit you screwed up

Apologize with conviction

Dream your dreams together

[Ginger]

Don't get lost. Rely on your own center, not the relationship as your center. Put your oxygen mask on first, then help her with hers.

[dixie]

Laugh...often... :)

[starryeyes]

Hold hands, look into each others eyes, be grateful for each moment and just be happy! Don't sweat the small silly stuff because it jut takes away from the fun stuff.

One thing that my partner does that no one has ever done for me before is to make me feel whole. I don't know how to explain feeling "whole", but I can describe it as feeling 100% loved, protected, cared for, adored, cherished, honored and worthy. I think anyone in any relationship would want that, and I hope I make her feel the same.

[ONLY]

She knows you love her so don't just tell her , let her know why you love her.....

SS (f) I love you for the woman that you are.....the way you give of yourself to make others happy ( just remember you have to be happy :) )....you don't just hear what is being said, you listen..I love that you encourage me to go out and have fun and not be jealous...I love that you are into the mysteries of the world, the unknown ( and now I get to explore with you :) )....I love your love of travel....I love the way you smile, how your eyes smile....Okay I could go on and on but I think everyone knows, can see how much I love you (f) You are My Rare Beauty (f)

[Ginger]

Be clear in the difference between "settling" and "accepting."

In one, you compromise on things outside of yourself. In the other, you compromise your self.

I know the difference, and that feels good—but it wasn't easy getting there, to that understanding.

[girl_dee]

Wow that is SO true!

i feel we all have our own dealbreakers. Each time i ignored them things
went bad. Can't blame someone else because i ignored my own boundaries.

Sometimes i feel (especially in the internet world) when people know your boundaries they can hide those behaviors rather well beause they want it to work.

i don't mind compromise but the settling i cannot do.

[Hollylane]

If you miss them, or you're thinking about them...tell them how much.

[Blade]

Look both ways before crossing the road. I know this doesn't sound like it goes in this thread, but it does. If you look both ways before you cross the road you won't be blind sided

[Mr Nice Guy]

Treat your relationship with the respect you both deserve. :)

[girl_dee]

i got an awesome rep that was dead on.... if starting off online make sure you know what you are getting into because once the honeymoon week is over and the real life starts things and people can change in a heartbeat!

i want to evolve not dissolve!

[princessbelle]

Laugh about things together until you both lose your breath.

Don't take things so seriously, there is always something to smile about.

Meet in the middle, financially and emotionally. :hangloose:

Remember that sometimes, the deepest conversations happen at night after the lights go out and all there is to focus on is each other's voice. :)

[Rockinonahigh]

seduce them , pamper thir ego... submitt .

I will defanatly second this.

[BullDog]

Laugh about things together until you both lose your breath.

Don't take things so seriously, there is always something to smile about.

Meet in the middle, financially and emotionally. :hangloose:

Remember that sometimes, the deepest conversations happen at night after the lights go out and all there is to focus on is each other's voice. :)


Develop strong stomach muscles so you can hold up to all the laughter :D

[Okiebug61]

Love each other for the now and for the changes that will come in the future.

[girl_dee]

Work out in the yard together!

[girl_dee]

have your own passions. As much as i miss Syr i am glad she is doing what she loves.

Absence really does make the heart go fonder! :heartbeat:

Hurry home Daddi!

[SelfMadeMan]

* Say please and thank you
* Leave your ego at the door
* Share household chores
* Talk positively about them, even when you're mad
* Be their biggest fan
* Always have their back, regardless.
* Be honest
* Be faithful
* Communicate
* Always remember why you fell in love in the first place

[girl_dee]

eat meals together, like at the table, without electronics. One on one company is lots of fun!

[Greco]

Have fun with your "Buds", give her space, then return and let her enjoy seducing you.

Greco

[Sachita]

Build a garden together

[cinnamongrrl]

Have date nights whenever possible...even years down the road....

And ALWAYS make time to snuggle.....

:moonstars:

[StrongButch]

Dont only tell her you love her. Show her!

[Teddybear]

Remember they are JUST as important as u are if not more so. Know that every day could be ur last so make sure they KNOW u love them and cherish them and yall as a cpl
I have the honor to be in a different type of relationship then I have ever been in and I'm so happy that she values our time together also

[Julien]

It is so important to listen to what the other person has to say not just hearing their words, but to listen to and be tuned in to what they are telling you. With that being said, it is important to be honest and build trust with the other individual. :praying:

[Soon]

give each other space
laugh
let some things go--not everything needs to be *discussed*

[girl_dee]

don't let them make a fool out of themselves!!

[Scottish MacDaddy]

Be mad at all times.....

Give mad love, mad respect and mad honesty... the rest will follow

[girl_dee]

support each other's passions!

:perv:

[Fatale]

Challenge each other intellectually.

[*Anya*]

Challenge each other intellectually.

Triple amen to this. So very important.

[girl_dee]

don't agree with everything each other does and says.

Have your own set of ideas, goals, religious beliefs, truths, wants, desires.

Otherwise you're just selling yourself out, and that's kinda sad.

[Blade]

be gentle, be soft, be compassionate, be kind, be aware...mentally, physically, sexually

[Greyson]

Must be willing to compromise at times.

Be willing to sit, "be" with uncomfortable feelings/situations without trying to resolve them in a matter of moments.

Try not to filter every decision, and actions taken by others through the lense of your own life experience.

Know the value of silence, and listening.


* I have not mastered the above

[StrongButch]

Treat her like a lady!

[girl_dee]

i won't be treating my partner like a "lady", whatever that means but i do respect her as a butch woman!

[girl_dee]

Shy away from validating your partner for them, to me it seems unauthentic when one person tries to sell someone, or the relationship to the rest of the world. That can often come back to bite. Rejoice and be happy about it, but there is a such thing as going overboard.

Don't be so willing to make them "fit". Differences are ok, unless they push your boundaries too far.

Don't be the one to do all the work. If you are carrying the load, you should think about that.

[princessbelle]

Be excited when your partner tells you she is making a scarf for you in your fav basketball team's colors. (Even when it is her first "knitting" experience and you both know that it probably won't be that good.)

[girl_dee]

Enjoy face to face dinner, no electronics or distractions.

Actually be present.

[DamonK]

Don't forget to date.
Remember the reasons why you fell in love in the first place.
Know that hard times happen, and be willing to wait it out.
Know your limits and boundaries.
Even when upset at one another, make sure your love is still known.

[girl_dee]

Do a jigsaw puzzle together, it's a blast!!!

[Fatale]

Unclench...

[Talon]

I'm no relationship expert, but one thing that I feel is pretty important
is to just keep your attitude in check. If your always down on something, spewing judgementalness, and just have a generally bad attitude towards others or life in general, it's a complete turn-off.

The more you nurture the negativity, the more negative you become. :angry:

[girl_dee]

I'm no relationship expert, but one thing that I feel is pretty important
is to just keep your attitude in check. If your always down on something, spewing judgementalness, and just have a generally bad attitude towards others or life in general, it's a complete turn-off.

The more you nurture the negativity, the more negative you become. :angry:

This is SO true. No fun to be around someone like this. Thank you for the reminder!

[Teddybear]

Easier said then done.....right

[Greco]

Honesty, Honesty, Honesty, and Directness. And get it, Honesty.

Then a relationship with me can begin, in friendship, real friendship, then we'll see. I don't do the "masks", life and friendship is too precious to waste time with anything less.

So, what to do in a relationship? Start with Honesty.

Greco

[morningstar55]

...listen, understanding , expectance .. communicate... cuz your gonna really need to learn this part after the honey moon faze

[Lazy Daze]

Laugh together everyday :)

[morningstar55]

...listen, understanding , expectance .. communicate... cuz your gonna really need to learn this part after the honey moon faze

acceptance .... NOT expectance... lol .. sometimes I hate my phone... lol

[girl_dee]

acceptance .... NOT expectance... lol .. sometimes I hate my phone... lol

Expectance is good too, as long as you communicate that..

Freudian!

[Talon]

Easier said then done.....right



Yes, and so are the majority of things in life.

[DamonK]

Laugh until you cry
Be there for the other
Make sacrifices for the other
Love with all you are

[Random]

Scritch their head, or their back, or what ever spot makes them go... oh...yah...

Encourage them to cry if they need it... Sometimes everyone needs a good cry...

Support them... how ever they need that support...

[Blue_Daddy-O]

Communicate. Communication is THE key.

I use to interview couples when I was lots younger, who had been together for over 50 years or more. And I would ask them, how did you make it.

The majority of them replied:

Number #1 - Communication. We listen to each others opinions. And we can agree to disagree.

Also, I often heard, "I married my best friend"

These couples still smiled at each other in that loving way when looking at each other and talking about each other.

Communication, is the road to success or failure in ANY relationship. It definitely has been in mine.

[kittygrrl]

whispers in the dark are amazing (in their place) but seldom mean as much as what is said & done in the cold light of day. It's just my opinion that it is only in this light you will perhaps see what you truly have and what you do not

[girl_dee]

find happy mediums :)

[KayCee]

To be loyal

[girl_dee]

own your shit. .........:blush:

[Bard]

be each-others safe place

[girl_dee]

don't say things that you don't mean

[Bard]

listen to each other take the time to enjoy the simple things like the sound of her heart beating when you hold her close at night , the feel of her skin next to yours

[kittygrrl]

don't say things that you don't mean

you're so right, it can ruin a good thing..

[chai~]

ensure you guard your "me time", and make sure your partner has their "me time".

relax......for goodness sakes, clinging too tightly makes someone like me bolt.

if you live together, whenever you get up ask, "hun, can I get you anything while I'm up?"

[Enchantress]

Honest
Present
Compassionate
Gentle
Yourself (never lose your own identity)
Independent
Encouraging
and
Respectful.

They'll take you far.

[~ocean]

~ dont relive the past ~ live in the today ~ forgive and accept ~ make love BUT have sex often ~ :) ** wink wink **

[Venus007]

Know yourself, and be self aware, the older I get the more I see how important this is

[Talon]

Love with an open heart...innocently like a child, yet with *everything* that you possess.

[~ocean]

~ in my own opinion : ~ I have only been in love 2x's ~ I don't fall in lust ~ I have loved but not in love ~ being a spiritual being I belive God puts ppl in our paths for a reason ~ don't forget how you met ~ what your partner has given to u ~ spirtiualy ~ and what u have given back to them ~ cherrish your connection ~ honor ~ respect eachother ~
(even tho in an arguemnet words get said ) ~ thats how I know my love for hym is endless ~ noone can take hys place ~ I submitt to hys strength ~ follow hys lead ~ I'm not perfect ~ hys guidence keeps me focused ~ my love and devotion I give to only hym ~ realtionships need to be worked on ~ seasoned ~ I will always love hym ~ even if .......~

[little_ms_sunshyne]

*Be a good listener.

*Reflect and grow together.

*Pick your battles. Some are just not worth having.

*Forgive. I can struggle with this one. I have experienced lots of hurt and
sometimes it is just hard to forgive those that add to that hurt.

*Don't forget the Romance.

*Be affectionate. Love and Lust...have those moments of pure "rip your clothes off" passion.

But then again, what do I know! lol

[girl_dee]

live a reality based life.

[little_ms_sunshyne]

live a reality based life.

I like this one!

[stepfordfemme]

Listen even when you're angry.

Love and put yourself first.

[Diablo]

we need a what NOT to do in a relationship...for us relationship challenged individuals.....just sayin' :blink:

[girl_dee]

we need a what NOT to do in a relationship...for us relationship challenged individuals.....just sayin' :blink:

there is one, it prompted me to start this one!

[Ascot]

I think it's vital to be selfish sometimes. Selfish in the way I interpret that word at its root. Be focused on your self. Have a rich inner life. Be complete unto yourself so that you can bring a whole, fully formed you to the mix. That whole "you complete me" thing disturbs me. I don't want to complete you, but I'd love to be your balancing counterpart. I'll gladly be the savory to your sweet and want you to be the acid in my base.

[girl_dee]

Ascot i get that completely. i don't want to need another to complete me as a human. i am not missing any parts (Syr may disagree!)
i want to be ME. i am ok with me, i beat me up and need improvement of course, but never wish to be so dependent on another that i lose myself.

Be you whoever you are, becoming a mirror image of someone else cannot be healthy.

[little_ms_sunshyne]

I think it's vital to be selfish sometimes. Selfish in the way I interpret that word at its root. Be focused on your self. Have a rich inner life. Be complete unto yourself so that you can bring a whole, fully formed you to the mix. That whole "you complete me" thing disturbs me. I don't want to complete you, but I'd love to be your balancing counterpart. I'll gladly be the savory to your sweet and want you to be acid in my base.

I like this! In fact I just had a conversation with a friend about a similar topic. I am a hopeless romantic but stand on my own two feet. I want someone that compliments me and I them. Thanks for sharing.

[peachy]

I'm a big believer in least said soonest mended but sometimes you have to call someone about how they're treating you. Sometimes being too understanding, too patient, trying too hard to be kind for fear of offending someone and hurting their feelings, sometimes all this does is tell them you think they're too weak to hear the truth. That's not respecting or loving someone or yourself.

When I was splitting from my ex husband because I had woken up to my sexuality, there was no direction to run because of our little girl, except to scrape the barrel of the cess pit where our relationship was and tell each other some bare truths. In the end it made us realise how much we really cared about each other, because after everything was said we were still there, neither of us ran away. I have a good friend who I know I can always count on now.

[kittygrrl]

I've found less is more..less expectation/judging means in the long run more contentment..if you need a lot in a relationship, it's realistic to expect you're going to have to deal with a degree of disappointment..less money, the more money we make the busier we tend to be and tempted or have to devote a lot of time outside of your relationship..I think you have to be on relatively the same page when it comes to finances..but if you can both downsize you are paid back with time to spend however you both decide pursuing happiness, less worrying about your happiness, more about your partner..if you have the right one, this is almost brilliantly selfish for no doubt they will catch on and try to outdo you..less problem, more solution..be the person he/hi/she loves to hang around, be fun & every once in a while plan a surprise..or be the surprise..

[Duchess]

Be consistent

[RNguy]

When She wants to just take a quick peek in the mak make-up place or that sephorium something place and you know her quick peek means blowing all the money in your wallet and the peek is now an hour and a half later and you feel stupid in those stores Then what to do is smile and nod and say babe you dont need any of these things bc you are naturally beautiful.


FYI : it doesnt stop her from buying stuff but its what you should do .
Ya know smile and and nod and keep the compliments going .

[Enchantress]

Remember that the darkness, right before sleep, is the perfect time to whisper sweet nothings into your lovers ear. Intimacy, it's a gift.

[Queenie]

Do not tell your better half everything!
They dont need to know the sort of poo you just had! Or that you just dug out a really huge booger from your nose. And space. You don't need to be stuck to their hip all the bloody time. (If you have been with this person for more then five years, then none of this applies.)

[Duchess]

Of course as an adult we can choose to do whatever we want. However, we must remember that PERCEPTION is a bitch.:|

[Gráinne]

Do everything in your power to see that your words match your actions. Better yet, fewer words, more actions.

[girl_dee]

That is a good one Grainne, Words with no actions are worthless. Do follow through and remember your promises.

[kittygrrl]

if they offer to help you mop the floor..marry her/hym/him (Keeper) jk but not rilly:toast:

[Enchantress]

Always check yourself before speaking in anger or frustration. Why? Because words can be forgiven but never forgotten.

[Kobi]

The most important thing I ever learned about relationships is to not waste time and energy reinventing the wheel. The other person in the relationship wants basically the same things you do.

Namely, to feel loved, cherished, appreciated, respected, cared for and about, desired and desirable, important, special, safe and secure etc.

How you demonstrate these might be different, but they should guide everything you do and say. As people show these in different ways, it helps when your styles mesh. If you arent meshing well in the actions department, it helps for both to be able and willing to listen, learn and make adjustments as necessary.

For me, it all boils down to action and behavior, not words and intentions.

[Jean_TX]

In a relationship,
- Remember that there are three entities involved: me, her, and “us”.
- Balance the attention and care given to each entity.
- Treat entity with kindness and respect.

[girl_dee]

Always check yourself before speaking in anger or frustration. Why? Because words can be forgiven but never forgotten.

Nope they cannot be taken back and for me, stay with me forever.

[Enchantress]

Retain a bit of mystery.

Not everything needs to be scrutinized, talked about, shown or explained.

Always leave a few beautiful bits to the imagination and keep some for yourself.

As Martha would say, "it's a good thing".

[kittygrrl]

kiss often

[TheMerryFairy]

Respect and be attentive!

[StrongButch]

Trust her and show her you love her dont just say it.

[kittygrrl]

keep your eyes on him/her

[Daktari]

Keep yer own metaphorical house clean first and foremost.

[kittygrrl]

Keep yer own metaphorical house clean first and foremost.

Interesting..care to explain?