best text you received today

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

I am here...rest easy

[Kenna]

Would you water my plants if they need it. Hose hooked up beside front porch. Plenty of bird seed in containers on side porch.

[MysticOceansFL]

Best text I received is "I understand."

[WingsOnFire]

wraps my arms around you and holds you tight... even if it is virtually it was what I needed to feel today... :rrose:

[Jayce]

It was shirt and simple from an old friend...said honey I'm home!

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

I do have a side I consider my Beast, growling, wrestling, biting, scratching!

[Candelion]

We are the perfect age to run away. We'd know where to hide. ;)

[Mel C.]

"Thank you for being such a special person n blessing my life."

[Trev]

"You ain't just whistlin Dixie, baby"

[JDeere]

Have a good night and I adore you!

Plain and simple, no need for other words!

[Candelion]

"Vittled is a word now."

[Blade]

LBH...OMG yes it is waaaaayyy to hot. We've been here for an hour and I'm pretty sure I've never sweat this much in my life

Me..Have you ever sweat in your adult life?

LBH...Yes I was at Carowinds last weekend. Between that and today I should've lost 25 pounds.

Me...did ya?

Still waiting for an answer to that LOL

[ProfPacker]

Hey handsome...

[Candelion]

Will you adjust My halo please? It has leaned a lil to the right.

[candy_coated_bitch]

Too many to name just one:

One of my best friends describing the email she wrote to a restaurant that sent her home with an ostensibly vegetarian meal that ended up having a piece of chicken on top.

An extreme close up photo of a dog's face.

Discussion of new decorating schemes for whenever I get a new home.

[Blade]

a text from my sister announcing that Toxic Bell has tostadas on the menu again. We must have eaten a truck load of those things when I was a teenager and she was a little kid. But it was what I could afford on my high dollar paycheck at $2.65 an hour.

[Trev]

i will bring You to new heights in life.

[Candelion]

You'll be the death of Me.

[Blaze]

my boss texted me
you have workatitus stay home the weekend on him...phffffttttt thats a given

[LaDivina]

"They are comorbidities you need to consider for treating pneumonia."

Haha, just kidding. :cheesy:

"Que bueno, me gusta cuando te pones asi..." :)

[Kenna]

"Interesting. Very interesting :cheesy:

[Blaze]

OMG such magical fingers. Can I keep them??

me:
ummmmm noooooo I need them :|

[Sweet Bliss]

Rut ro

:rofl:

[Happy_Go_Lucky]

Don't call or text me! I don't want to scare her away....


Hah!

[WickedFemme]

How can I cite just one - I've had so many lovely texts lately...

[Trev]

Sinister is the new sexy.

[Happy_Go_Lucky]

"No Metals"

With no context, it's funnier than hell huh?

[Bèsame*]

A picture actually, of the memorial lights of 9/11 from New York!

Very moving

[Gemme]

The one finalizing my massage appointment this weekend!

[Blade]

Want me too bring you some chicken and dunklins? They will make you feel better and it's something you can taste........yes she said dunklins...

Actually I love chicken and dumplings but Mom doesn't know how to make them. Course I'd never tell her that

[cricket26]

apparently my daughter thinks that my typos caused by auto correct are funny enough to be posted on facebook for god and everyone to see...and she posted our whole texting conversation....ugh....i am so glad i can laugh at myself :)

[Sweet Bliss]

So glad you are feeling better. :)

[Orema]

I can make a house call to ice and massage your knee.

[girlin2une]

Babe w can go shopping and get a nice wooden spoon...flogger...any number of things...
:blush:

[nekohl]

"I'm husband and child free today. Let's hang out!"


I love best friend days :)

[Canela]

So come hold my hand and experience what it feels like to be truly admired, honored, and appreciated...

:: swoon ::

[JDeere]

Dude! Can't wait for you to visit, we are going to throw down like the old days!

[Tony]

"I need me some Tony. It's been 2 & a half weeks. Feels like forever since I was tangled in your sheets...."

[Tony]

"I love you my sexy beast".
(What guy doesn't wanna hear that?)
I am very lucky. Something to be said for patience.
(A quality I really don't possess). Lol

[Kenna]

Hey lady! Been thinking about you. Just saw your post on FB & wanted to agree that you are of great worth! Keep that head held high girlie.... Love ya my friend!! Know that I believe in you!!

[Bèsame*]

We made our goal!

[Kenna]

"I'll be in Charlotte next week for a conference from Mon-Thur..."

[Kenna]

"lunar eclipse in 30 m8nutes!"

[clay]

"morning sweetheart! One more day! I love you baby!"

[Blade]

OMG...Makin me crazy!!!!!

[Blade]

Dang! They just keep coming...so to speak.

another best text...Rolling on the bed laughing my ass off!!!!...you are giving me shock waves!!!

me...OMG

[cinnamongrrl]

"Whatever you want my love"

I'm having that shit printed and notarized!!

I've always had my heart set on a baby elephant...hy doesnt know!

[Kenna]

*Wolf Whistle *

(I can't whistle, but I'm glad they can)

[bright_arrow]

I love you!

[Trev]

"Today is one of those days when i miss You more than usual."

[nekohl]

"The phones are back on, I'm on hold with the internet provider now. It should be back up soon"

(It was NOT a win for technology at work today. )

[Bèsame*]

No one has ever done something like that for me

[JDeere]

I miss you and we should talk when I get home tonight!

[Kenna]

"When will u be in the Valley? We miss u!!!"

[Sweet Bliss]

If I ever find my phone I might find a pleasant text... :byebye:

[Blade]

A wedding picture from California. Yall looked great!

[A. Spectre]

......counted them up, only 19, wait.....20 this year, do you think less of me?

[CherylNYC]

Book the tickets.

[Blaze]

Yes...I saw them.. I could see right into you heart.

[Daktari]

It had a picture :groucho:

[grenade]

A picture text of my baby nephew in his new crib with the bedding I bought for him. He's such a cutie.

[A. Spectre]

2:25 am her ------ what is the name of that movie you wanted me to watch

2:26 am her ------why aren't you answering me

2:28 am her ------don't you care

2:34 am her ------i have a madz


9:45 am me-------the name of the movie is .......

1:45 pm her------- too late!

[Humanesque]

"A gentleman like you, with money, handsome, and that works in the bed.... HahahaA"

I Wasn't expecting that. LOL

[cinnamongrrl]

"I'm putting the fries on now"

From my friend who makes the best.fries.ever!!

:koolaid:

[Duchess]

I'm so in love with you.......

[EnchantedNightDweller]

"I like you too..." :hk2:

[Blaze]

.....Brat.....

[traumaqueen]

"Thanks! When you get home we can talk about Interstellar...and space, and time, wormholes, black holes, human isolation, human extinction, aliens, alien planets, ghosts, the 5th dimension. Oh and last but not least, the enduring power of love."

Damn you Christopher Nolan.

[LaDivina]

"World wind of a day..."

Gotta love voice-to-text. :huhlaugh:

[Candelion]

"I'm not sure Wrangler makes skinny jeans. Good Lord I need bleach to sanitize My thoughts."

[Trev]

"and don't worry ... three critters in the lasagna"

[QueenofSmirks]

"... I've been distracted all day..."

[RockOn]

I love you

[Bèsame*]

OMG, you are now my Pickle Goddess, I shall worship you and keep you forever, and plant vegetables...

[JDeere]

Talking about the cold weather and what I was wearing at said time, was told to " put on some damn clothes"

LMFAO

[Sweet Bliss]

I found my phone!!!! Now I can get texts again! !

[A. Spectre]

12:59 am her - i was hoping you would help me with some grammar

01:27 am her - hello are you awake?

02:08 am her - is it who's on first or whose on first

07:26 am me - it is me who's going to misplace your phone next time i see you



and then we laughed and laughed :3butch::4femme:

[Trev]

"You ain't seen nothin' yet, country boy"

[Candelion]

Good Lord rednecks in a musical!

[A. Spectre]

11:28 pm her - i'm grumpy, have to work 5 hours tomorrow

12:05 am her - don't you care?

12:48 am her - it takes me a half an hour to get to work! i don't get paid for that!

1:05 am her - guess i should get some sleep, love you good night

6:28 am me - pleased no one texts you in the middle of the night and wakes you, love you back

[Sweet Bliss]

He called me Babe... doesn't mean anything but it was very pleasant just the same.

It's been a while. (f)

[Trev]

"Those things would all be nice...but all i need is You. Wait a second...big bathtub?"

[A. Spectre]

2:34 pm. her - almost had a threesome last night

2:37 pm. me - almost?

2:39 pm. her - yeah, just missing two other people

[vixenagogo]

"I can smell my face."

[The JD]

"I can smell my face."

But I really could!!!!

[A. Spectre]

5:27 pm (her) - i'm running out of ways to invite you to come see me

5:29 pm (me) - you have never invited me

5:35 pm (her) - ooops, wrong person

[Kenna]

(Me: I keep reading the card you gave me)
(Them: Why)
(Me: it's comforting)

Them: Comforting is a good thing. Stability of the heart and Soul.

[Talon]

Me:.....lucky for me.


Franky: I know, I know, little Irish girl.


Me: Don't call me little, limpdick.

Franky: Shhhhhhh...

[Bèsame*]

Picture of a hand drawn blueprint to his heart.


(Swoon)

[Daktari]

Hello handsome


:groucho:

[JDeere]

Her dude! Wake the fuck up, I need a ride to walmart.

Me:what do I get out of it

Her: a big kiss and some candy

Me:be there in 20

Her: you big sucker

[clay]

and no, I will NOT be your house boi"........:blink:

[A. Spectre]

6:46 pm (her) - guess what i did today?

7:05 pm (me) - was whatever you were doing legal?

7:06 pm (her) - whaaaat?!

7:08 pm (her) - wanted to let you know i went diving today with full make up on.

7:15 pm (me) - do you look like that character in 'whatever happened to baby jane?'

7:16 pm (her) - haha pout

[Bèsame*]

ok, I like waiting on you, it's always worth it

[Trev]

Me.. I think W/we have the best text received today

Her.. Lmao! And i think i have a new screensaver!

Me... :blink:

[Blaze]

Hmmm can't fit all her text in here..
Not fair! There all the best!
Your romantic ways day after day.. I'll stay forever ♡
Now that one will make any guy walk proud!

[A. Spectre]

10:29 (her) - i bought the greatest toy

10:37 (me) - yes?

10:40 (her) - it may not fit

10:45 (me) - sounds personal girl

[Canela]

If you're going to manage me you're going to have to hook us up.

:cigar2:

[EnchantedNightDweller]

Me: You are special to me.
Him: and you to me.

:o

[Kenna]

My sister: too bad dogs can't use credit cards!

Me: why? Why would your dogs need credit cards? They're already spoiled.

My sister: since I retired in April, Russell would have enough Frequent Flyer Miles to go to Scilly and back!

Me: why does Russell need to go to Scilly?
(Long silence)

My sister: never mind. I forgot they put dogs in a 3 month quarantine before they let them fly to Scilly. Russell couldn't handle quarantine.

Me: smh...retirement must be treating you well? You're finally bored enough to think about dogs earning Frequent Flyer Miles.

[A. Spectre]

8:23 pm (her) - need advice

8:24 pm (her) - bug bug bug

8:25 pm (her) - i need you, i need your attention

8:27 pm (me) - you need to get laid

8:30 pm (her) - need Butch advice

8:37 pm (me) - contact me at this number xox xxx ooo xxxx

[EnchantedNightDweller]

Will you be my girl? :love1:

[Blade]

No text yet, most normal people are still in bed or at work

[Candelion]

"Looking at you over the top of My glasses...I smile..."

[A. Spectre]

10:33: pm (her) - happy thanksgiving ace

10:34: pm (her) - happy thanksgiving ace!

10:35: pm (her) - HAPPY THANKSGIVING ACE!!!

10:45: pm (me) - oh gosh, you as well

[Kenna]

(From a woman almost twice my age) come on Get a wiggle on!

[Candelion]

$10 gets ya lots more a nickel

[Blade]

Well aren't you special?




chuckles....of course I am

[Kenna]

I'm proud of you, mom. You're a damn strong woman! And you taught me to be a damn good cook! But don't worry...I will always call you for recipes and advice like you did with Momma D

[A. Spectre]

10:02 pm (her) - hi! wanted to let you know I made it home

10:04 pm (her) - my date lasted longer than expected

10:06 pm (her) - hello?

10:23 pm (me) - how many is that now? 4, 5, 18?

10:25 pm (her) - you are such a brat!

[Bèsame*]

....smart, beautiful, witty, sassy, good kisser, sexy as all get out, and the list goes on...



Um..what is "all get out" ?

[A. Spectre]

12:03 am (her) - still going on my date, i intend to get paid

12:05 am (me) - what?!

12:06 am (her) - oopsie, meant laid

[Blaze]

I need to be tethered down. I'm walking on clouds

[A. Spectre]

10:42 am (her) - She was hot!!! I wanted a piece of that.

10:45 am (her) - And yummmm she wanted a piece of me.

10:56 am (me) - Which piece? I would suggest she leaves everything on you alone from the neck up.

11:01 am (her) - Very funny. Pffffft

[A. Spectre]

11:02 pm (her) - Omgosh! Your snowy photo just now showed up! I love it!

11:05 pm (her) - It's so hot here I had to take off my blazer for the concert.

11:11 pm (me) - I sent that photo over a month ago, glad you like it.

11:15 pm (her) - Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

11:19 pm (me) - Contemplating your belly button?

11:22 pm (her) - Silly! Muaaaaah



**another episode of nonsensical texting with a friend

[Bèsame*]

I'll follow you anywhere baby.

[LaDivina]

You're pretty amazing.

[Bèsame*]

Great gutter minds think alike ;)



oh hold on...I'm not admitting to a great gutter mind


Chuckles
You don't have to admit, it's obvious

[Barb42]

545a.. GET UP & GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW... Ur nephew is wide awake & wants to play skylanders.. :)

[Bèsame*]

baby, keep yourself off the schedule on Valentine's day. It's a Saturday.


***Sounds like a date, huh??? ♡♡♡♡

[Keep Smilin]

Got your coffee ... Made just the right way... And I will see you in 5 minutes.


*Insert coffee happy dance* :dance1:

[Trev]

"You AND a 1500lb vibrator. i'll spontaneously combust!"


:harley:

[Blade]

Very early this morning

Them Calvin take me away

Me Who the hell is Calvin

Them Damn auto correct

[Bèsame*]

Funny thing is, the same butterflies I had then...I still get them now..She's something I tell ya!


You should keep her!

And I tell ta, what else..I wouldn't give her up for a million bucks.

Someone has two million? Lol

I plan on it! She's going to be the girl I grow old with, no money in the world given, I'd work the value of her love, I'd rather work hard, so she knows I'm a good guy, and I may not be rich, but I'm rich with her in my life.


oh, makes me swoon 😍

[DapperButch]

First text of the day, received at 4:42pm:

"I can't believe you took my salmon to work with you"

[Talon]

Ha.....now isn't she just a hypocrite wrapped in bullshit?

[Blade]

Mom Did you get your AARP paper and see how many stars died with Alzheimer's?

Me Thinking not texting back...I'm at work, this isn't important and I don't care how many stars died with Alzheimer's, I'm not related to any of them so it's irrelevant anyway Oh and thank you very much for reminding me that I'm getting old due to my eligibility for AARP

[cinnamongrrl]

Good mornong....sweet dreams....

Was a lateee night!

[Bard]

From my dad I love you kiddo

[Keep Smilin]

Miss you... Love you so much ... When you come on Saturday will you play power rangers with me?


*note to self- study up on Power Rangers BEFORE Saturday!

[Logicaly]

I think it went something like this..."I need to wash my hair but instead I am sitting in an empty tub thread stalking you."

[Bard]

It was from my Mother In Law
knowing I have a Doctor Appointment today for some testing that I am wicked nervous about.

" Would you like us to accompany you today?"

So they are driving down to go with me I am touched beyond belief

I am one very blessed guy

[PatrickIver]

I have not received any yet today. What is up with that???

[Orema]

A work friend just sent a text saying "The 'suits' will be in your building soon. They're asking the worker bees dumb questions and you'll hide if you're smart."

Maybe I'll mosey on over to the warehouse and see what the fLakers (Laker fans) are up to.

[Talon]

This weekend, we can do whatever you want.

[PatrickIver]

Her: You wanted your sign to say I would rather die standing than live on deez neez right?

Me: LOL, yeah. On my knees.

Her: Hahahahaha. I know but I like deez neez better.

Me: Well, yeah..it made me snort my soda.

Her: Hahahaha us too. We're freaking dying over here.

[princessbelle]

"Snuggle up with me. Let's watch a movie"

*swoon

[Bèsame*]

Grinz...Damn can't pass nothing pass you, lol

[JDeere]

From my mom.

Stop leaving your dirty boxers on the bathroom floor put them in the hamper.

Lol my mom

[cinnamongrrl]

A poem made just for me.... :)

[Daniela]

From my Mom (fyi, English isn't her first language):

Dear Daniela How is the weather treating you? Ino in TV in in received a picture of theno ppm km little Guille (sic). She looks so big! She is only 3 months old. Are you working on more projects? PLEASE send me an E Mail Love MOm

:confused:

[Strappie]

From my Mom (fyi, English isn't her first language):

Dear Daniela How is the weather treating you? Ino in TV in in received a picture of theno ppm km little Guille (sic). She looks so big! She is only 3 months old. Are you working on more projects? PLEASE send me an E Mail Love MOm

:confused:

You forgot to translate it .... LOL ... Gotta love our moms!!!

[Bèsame*]

Grinz....you got 20 minutes...

[Bèsame*]

I'd bring you dinner baby



"swoon"

[Barb42]

.... GOOD MORNING & HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. Along with a special pic.'s. Made me smile allday..

[randrum]

It was a picture of the Minions, from Despicable Me, that said, "My best friend and I are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness..."

[gotoseagrl]

my mom still thinking that "lol" means Lots of Love.

[cinnamongrrl]

I can't possibly pick.just.one :)

[SnackTime]

It's awesome. Thank you.

[AnAwkwardAccident]

YAYAYAYAY! CONGRATS BABE, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! <3

[Luv]

Birthday Wishes from family in Mexico City :-)

[bright_arrow]

"I love you so much baby girl"

:awww:

[Bèsame*]

You won't be talking with my tongue in your mouth

Yah, I'm all talk no action 💬💬💬



Schemer you 😈

[bright_arrow]

"Baby, you can always see me with my pants off."

:boxers: :cheer:

[Bard]

From a coworker and friend ... so are you gonna croak or what made me laugh my ASS off

[Bèsame*]

Chuckles...Deal of the century! You got me. Dibs.



cyuwhqRxP9U

[Bèsame*]

🚓🚓🚓 I'm putting a APB out on your happy ass

[Daniela]

LOL, I got this from an unknown number:

its tank top and panty day today

:|

[Kobi]

"I can show you how to twirl a guinea worm like a spaghetti strand so it doesn't break off when you are pulling it out of someone's leg".

:blink:

Alrighty then. Dinner will not be pasta.

[cinnamongrrl]

My daughter texted me wicked early to let me know she got to Miami ok..

And my nephew texted me to say, "hi Ti-Ti!" ...that's what my sisters kids call me :)

[Bèsame*]

As of the present, and onward, I belong to you, and only you. I'm not on the market, nor do I intend to be.

aww baby...we are out of the market. We are in the same bag, rolling around, finding our own new recipes.

And many recipes to be discovered. We both like trying new and interesting things, and I especially like trying different and odd. Let's marinate on the ride. 😀

[LeftWriteFemme]

uHxSYeaHhkA

[Loren_Q]

From a boy I'm seeing while they are on vacation:
"My [family member] took me to a flea market. There's a guy selling stun guns, setting them off for people... I miss you"

[starryeyes]

I receive two everyday..... Good morning and sweet dreams <3

They are the best!!

[JDeere]

A picture of a huge vape cloud along with another text from a friend who said that I have been a really good friend to her through everything that has happened.

[MasterfulButch]

...
Buddy: Beautiful here at the moment. Might shock the dog lunchtime and take him out.
Me: Ooh, slap up dinner with black tie?
Buddy: Yeah, he's a stickler for formality!

:D

[Blade]

7 am...she is in labor and headed to hospital

me...good I know she is tired of being pregnant

9:56..we are about to push

Me..9:58 I can bring a come along and we can winch it out like a calf, won't take long at all.

10:05 BABY IS HERE

Me..Damn that was quick, a drive by labor and delivery

10:33..6 pounds 12 oz

Then the pictures of this precious creature, started rolling in. OMG she is an angel. Thank you God for this precious little girl.

[Bèsame*]

And all the while...all I did was daydream of you

[Talon]

You smell just like satya midnight incense.

[Bèsame*]

I feel like a teenager waiting for a date of a lifetime

[Kenna]

Thank you for all you did today.

[MysticOceansFL]

A few friends wishing my well on my three D heart scan come this Friday!

[JDeere]

When people see how happy we are and they will be jealous!!!!

[Chicklette]

"I love you Nana.."

[Daniela]

LOL, my mom again:

Hi Daniela did you call? I jusmoo kmt received a call from NY but was not your number only voices speaking another language.please call love mom

[Kenna]

I'm pretty lazy since I retired :cheesy: Love ya too! Have a beautiful day!!

[Blade]

Picture of my new second cousin, he's a cutie. I told them they should have named him Carl since Carl won the race today. LOL

And a picture of my great niece asleep in her big girl panties. With the caption she hasn't had but 3 accidents all week.

[Bèsame*]

it was a video of a alligator sunning himself in the parking lot, then was chased back into the flood water he came from.

And I thought alligators were just in Louisiana.

[Bèsame*]

Don't think I can be without you long...Heck...I know I can't

[puddin']

me: how's your day wit' bubs?

j: cute and cuddly.

[Ascot]

Cocktails?....

[Kenna]

Ok just checkin on ya.

[little_ms_sunshyne]

"Whatever it is your worrying about, STOP!" - from a good friend who is also a serial worry wart! He is right!

[JustLovelyJenn]

"I miss you"

[Bèsame*]

me...we met a year ago. Still the best date ever!

Him. ...Definitely best date ever..but then again, your the best, that had ever happened to me...

[jools66]

I asked her what she wanted for her birthday.
To which she replied "I was wondering if you could stretch to Daniel Craig's Aston Martin, it would make a lovely birthday present O and him of course!! �
So I replied Yeah you will get the toy car and the action figure lmao. Then u can say ya been to bed with mr bond :)
My sis has taste,she's the best.

[Happy_Go_Lucky]

http://i1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb412/canterburyfails/autocorrect_zpszyajl5cx.jpg

[Kenna]

"I'm freaking jealous :( "

[Bèsame*]

Actually...I just sent this to him.

"Cause a ruckus, and get kicked out, so we can go to the beach!"

As he sits in Jury duty..lol

[MsTinkerbelly]

I love you Mom!

:(

Gosh I miss that girl.....

[Kätzchen]

I lost my wallet, have you seen it?

seconds later:

Never mind, I found it.

[meridiantoo]

To my g/f yesterday: "Good Morning, Sexy!"

Response: "I think you have the wrong number" and I did lol

[~SweetCheeks~]

You always take my breath away my beautiful babygirl.

[grenade]

My sister telling me she is getting her BC out and trying for a baby.

She also thought it would be a good idea for me to have one as well. :wtf::rofl:

[flapdoodle]

it said, "thank you for nailing it"

[kittygrrl]

(my sister)" if you are in the mood, let's go out to dinner" :phonegab: (Seriously Sis? going out is always amazing!)

[grenade]

Your prescription is ready for pick up.

[Blade]

It came from Mom this morning

My Tom Cat is a Moma

[candy_coated_bitch]

A picture of a cherry pie my best friend friend made from scratch today. Too bad she lives halfway across the country.

[easygoingfemme]

A photo that was taken last night :)

[randrum]

My best friend text me about a customer complaint she was informed of today at work. It made me laugh.

[Chad]

Take time to stop and smell the brisket. Haha!

:cowboy:

[Chad]

I have received atleast 30 texts this morning all before 8:00am on my sick day. Here are some of the best;

I love you
Take care
Rest
Drink whiskey for pain
Cuddle with the baby kitty

[Chad]

More fun texts for the day.
Pretty daddy
I love you daddy

Both from a dear buddy. Haha :)

Now if I could only figure out how to get a femme to send me texts like that life would be yummy. :)

[cinnamongrrl]

My mom told me she found my former babysitter on Facebook...

I sent her a friend request...lol I'm boggled

[JRM]

Best txt today is my every morning txt from my mother.. Always says .. Good morning hope you have a good day.. Love you ..mom ...as if I don't know who it's from to begin with she's has to put love you mom. Lol. No txt could ever beat the ones from my mother

[homoe]

More fun texts for the day.
Pretty daddy
I love you daddy

Both from a dear buddy. Haha :)

Now if I could only figure out how to get a femme to send me texts like that life would be yummy. :)

Ya, you and me both Chad:hangloose:

[job]

"I think I might stalk you tomorrow."
(But, she's cool. So, no worries.)

[genghisfawn]

I griped to my mother briefly about a coworker, and told her I just keep my face as neutral as possible when she's in full flap. Mom texted back, "Yep, it's your best defense against even the biggest jizz-trumpet!" My 60yo, Catholic, retired schoolteacher mother.

[Kenna]

My accent isn't sick. I said fake Siri. OK I give up. My accent is not Fick LMFAO.
THICK

[Zimmeh]

A text conforming that my best friend and I are going to the movies! Some much needed girl time!

Zimmeh

[MysticOceansFL]

From my girlfriend so I'm not worried so much and pacing a ditch in my living room floor about her. But I still worry about her.

[Bèsame*]

Mr insurance man was just here.... he is so short...lol


Everyone is short..my Amazon woman!

[vixenagogo]

a friend discussing a leopard print chaise lounge I use to own.

F: gosh, you had the prettiest, comfiest cooch. I could be on it for hours.

v: ...

F: *cooch. I meant cooch

v: ...

F: COUCH. COUCH. COUCH.

[Degotoga]

I got this from one of my closest friends, who happens to be one of the sweetest, most laid back, non-judgemental girly-girls I know. I wish every day started with laughter like this...

Her: Good morning, handsome

Me: Mornin', hot stuff

Her: Here's a little something I saw on my way to work this morning that will make your day. Before I send you the pic, let me say it's way too early for major head tilting moments like this, but this is Darwin worthy
*sends picture*

Me: Uhh...I have no words

Her: I didn't either, at first. But I do now...

Her: The stupid is strong in that one

Me: lmfao

Me: You caught me completely off guard with that one. You usually leave such niceties up to me

Her: mmhmm...you're rubbing off on me, sweets.

Me: Oh, go ahead and blame the innocent, why don't ya lol

Her: ;)

[Blade]

Have a great day! Love you bunches!
Mom 4am😀

[Bèsame*]

I love you fee aunt say




I totally busted out laughing!!!

[cinnamongrrl]

I got you boo

From my work wife <3

[JRM]

I need a hug that leads to wild sex..😂😂..my friends are fools

[Kätzchen]

That I've sung to them over the years.

Early, this morning, both of my son's texted me the same song, within minutes of each other.

So grateful for the inseparable bond that we share. :stillheart:

Listen to Al Wilson - Show And Tell [NO RUSH] by NO RUSH #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/no_rush/show-and-tell-no-rush

[Blade]

Mom...you a happy football fan this morning?
Me...yes Ma'am
Mom...guess you are wearing all shades of orange today huh?
Me...you know it

Mom knows me better than I do😀

[homoe]

More fun texts for the day.
Pretty daddy
I love you daddy

Both from a dear buddy. Haha :)

Now if I could only figure out how to get a femme to send me texts like that life would be yummy. :)

Hey bud guess you did 'figure out' how, can ya help a brother out and share the secret? LMAO

[Canela]

Them : Are you taken?

Me: At this moment I'm taking time to perfect my tortilla making skills...but you are welcome to be my guinea pig.

Them: I already am!

Duh....

[The JD]

I got these texts back to back, in exactly this order, seconds apart, with no response in between and from the same person:

"I just saw a woman's asshole!!"
"Do you want beer?!"
"A woman's pants just split and I saw her fucking brown eye!!!"
"I'll get beer!"


And no, the drinking didn't start until AFTER the texts ��

[deeds]

I got these texts back to back, in exactly this order, seconds apart, with no response in between and from the same person:

"I just saw a woman's asshole!!"
"Do you want beer?!"
"A woman's pants just split and I saw her fucking brown eye!!!"
"I'll get beer!"


And no, the drinking didn't start until AFTER the texts ��lol..Chrystal Gale's brown eyes turned blue too, back in the 70's

[Kenna]

I went to hardware store twice yesterday, both times there was people in line with sleds...they made a killing yesterday on those orange sleds and all the kids have to play on is ICE, no sled needed to bust ya ass in that lol

[Kenna]

A good morning text with a pic of a froggy and his pretty dragonfly friend

[Bèsame*]

"I appreciate all you do"

[Lecheloco]

Texting with the boss today.....

B.. you only need 10?
Me.. for Tuesday yes
B.. ok thanks for the heads up, I won't touch the wheat
Me.. hmmm just what are you touching?
B... the ways i could go with that question, let's say pizza
Me... haha yeah twas your vebage 😉

[Chad]

Last night from my friend of 35 years.

"I love you!"

[NavyButch]

"my boss just told his tv to shut up lol"

Made me laugh till my stomach hurt.

[NavyButch]

Thank you!!! Love you!!!

(from My sister in response to Me sending her a birthday text)

[AmazonDC]

Every text from her

[girl_dee]

* do you have salve for.it? * hahahaha:sunglass:

[Gayandgray]

Yes I forgive u.

[girl_dee]

* and stop touching it * :|

[Orema]

Honey you are the butter in my grits ...

:bow:

[girl_dee]

" i hear you ".........

[Gemme]

"I always feel better seeing your beautiful smile"

Melt.

[LaDivina]

They're sending you a new bed!

(at work)

[AmazonDC]

Gn Daddy...

Good Lord she does something to Me

[Bèsame*]

"awww thank you baby. Me love you long long time "

[2qt]

Lets go chill out at a cafe somewhere catch up for that coffee I owe you & you can blow my ear........ :| Thinking she meant I can blow her ear up with my problems & she will listen..... Just the shortened version lol

[Gemme]

You never know....maybe there's an ear blowing kink that she's into.

:blink:



For me, so far, it's this: "....is getting on my last gay nerve"

[2qt]

You never know....maybe there's an ear blowing kink that she's into.

:blink:



For me, so far, it's this: "....is getting on my last gay nerve"


LMAO..... Good lord have mercy!

[easygoingfemme]

1-Pics of one of my besties getting a new tattoo.

2-My mom telling me she thinks she might need to get high to deal with the traffic happening outside of our neighborhood (We live down the road from each other)

3-"Want me to pick up Thai food for tonight?"- from my special someone.

[clay]

Hurry home, baby!...............

[2qt]

Text me back when you're in the land of the living.... (No response just a blank stare)...

[JDeere]

Telling me just how bad the AG's office sucked.

[Bèsame*]

We most certainly did :) :) :)