Long Distance Relationships

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Metro

Many years ago I had a similar arrangement for over a year w/ a GF (now ex) before she moved in w/ me -- it just became too time consuming and costly to maintain two households (and spend time commuting between the two places in an equitable way). While I require ample "me" time, from my own perspective the day-to-day of a local or live-in relationship (and potential for spontaneity and everyday in-person experiences) vastly enriches any relationship. I learned a lot about the shared household dynamic in the years that particular ex and I lived together... Mostly learning that I function best in a relationship when the one I am seriously involved with is nearby so we can resolve differences, relish achievements, or grieve loss face-to-face. Altho I am not completely averse to the idea of a LDR, and have tried a few times to establish one (unsuccessfully), it just may not be the best fit for me. I like the ordinary things like eye contact, holding hands, cuddling, and kissing that having someone nearby affords on a regular basis, too. To each their own.

My situation is unusual in that we lived together for two years, then I moved out, and now we have this "commuting" relationship.

I don't consider her eligible to be my domestic partner for reasons I won't go into, but I love her, and she can be a good girlfriend. There is an asymmetry to the arrangement, in that she's the one with the kid, and has no support except for her generous sister who does what she can. So it's easier for me to go out there, than for her to come to my place. Still, I expect her to make me feel special while I'm out there, and to focus on me. If that wanes, I just won't go. I call the shots now.