The Female Male ID "Wars"... or Great Divide

[Jett]

Originally Posted by Kobi

It pisses me off that my long hard fought id as a female id butch lesbian has to be compromised for the sake of male id/male anything. I fought NOT to be seen as a woman who wanted to be a man and here I am lumped in with the very thing I have fought for decades not to be seen as.

This does not mean I begrudge males /or male id's. I dont. Just as I do not begrudge bi's or gay men or anyone else. Feel free to be whatever and whomever you are. But where do I belong? Where are the lesbians who want the butch-femme dynamic in their lives?

I ask myself why do all these butch-femme sites pop up with such a mixed group of participants? Why not set up a site that is for transmen/male id and those who love them? Why not honor your identities with a home that puts who you are right out there? Im not dissing anyone here but when I fought to be a lesbian, I wanted a lesbian community. What arent the transmen/male id's wanting to establish a homeland of their own? Is it because they have a ready supply of potential mates in their accepting, inclusive former lesbian home? Why mess up a good thing?

Hey Kobi, I think I've had a quip on something similar with you for this before, but again...

I don't know how anyone could in compromise in any way who you are or negate you fight. I don't get that at all, it doesn't make sense. No one can compromise my identity and there's no limit on space here.

As far as where are the lesbians who want butch femme dynamic... just look around, there's tons of them here. I prefer big ol' damn dyke to the word lesbian but I have "identified" as a stone butch for the greater part of my life.

Which to me meant I didn't fit well in ALL lesbian dyke spaces (which are out there), it's not that they were all unwelcoming, but my life, my masculinity, attractions, like and dislikes were synced with others who are in the butch femme culture and those who walked in similar shoes. I find that connection with male ID, female ID and trans folks alike and for one see this as our hard fought for space.

Hell I would be bored - to - tears if we all were alike, with like mind and what-ever.

I say why not "honor your identity" that's hard fought for by being proud in it and making space for others who fight for space too? In the mean time yeah, this particular space seeks to welcoming and open place for all queer identities that feel a connect to the B-F dynamic. I see that as progress.

Metro