The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

[ruthie14]

Originally Posted by Jet

Sorry Ruthie,
but I don't get why you're upset. Did she tell you at the onset that she wanted a relationship and then changed her story? Can u just date and have a good time without commitments? If I'm way off the mark, it's because I don't see the issue with her not wanting a relationship. jus' sayin'

Well, my own 2 cents is.... that if you are NOT ready for a relationship.. then you should NOT be dating. Dating to me means that you are trying to find someone who you might want a LTR with. Doesn't mean you will find them, or that you won't date ppl that you don't fit with. That is to be expected. We met on a dating site and , quite frankly, I wasn't really sure we were going to date at all. I was perfectly content to do the friend thing and get to know her. She made the approach, wanting to call it dating, sexy talk, asking questions that, INHO , you ask a potential partner, not a friend. She kept asking for sleep overs and when push came to shove, well, she just wanted to sleep and nothing more. If she just wanted a friend or a cuddlepartner... then just tell me. I would have let her know that friendship would be fine but anything more leads to gfs for me. I am always upfront with how I am. No pretense. No games. If I like you, I like you, If I don't , I don't lead you to believe otherwise. I dunno, maybe time will give me a perspective I just can't see in this moment. Right now I am confused and hurt. Hard to look to much beyond that right now.