Negotiating Silence

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

, on the other hand, some people would way rather you (not you personally, the collective you) talked behind their backs than to their faces....In my part of the country it is not polite to say things to pople's faces and it freaks us out when someone does.

It really is difficult sometimes with all our cultural differences for us to communicate at all. Its a miracle that we do as well as we do.

I am so Southern it hurts sometimes. I grew up in this culture of talking behing others' backs. I do not condone it. I have seen the damage it does. I have felt the damage. I understand what you are saying. I really do.

However, there are some traditions that need to be changed. If I would not say it to your face, I am re-teaching myself how to not say it at all. I'm thumperizing my life in that way because it is important to me personally.

I am giving up my right-by-Southern ability to say, "Did you see that dress Apocalipstic wore to the party? Bless her heart, it wasn't her best color." And all other variations of that type of talk. I am on a mission in my own life to eradicate it from all corners of my communication. If I wouldn't tell Jackhammer she is an ass to her face, then I won't do it behind her back. (NOTE: both examples are pure fiction! )

This really isn't about silencing so I'll (grin) silence myself on this. It's my own personal soapbox on something I do that I detest.