Open Letter: Dear Femme

[NJFemmie]

Originally Posted by Kim

This leads to the question -- are we ranking ourselves? Are our butch/boy/boi counterparts participating in this? Do we feel "less than" if we don't live up to the standards or expectations of "high femme"?

I think so.

I don't hear heterosexual women "rank" themselves. I never hear "oh, she's a high hetero, or ooo, look at that casual, low maintenance straight woman". I do see where judgment takes place - perhaps that's one and the same but in different clothing?

I do believe butches take part of this - because speaking for myself, I have had butches try to tell me what is femme and what isn't - and what supposedly makes a high femme versus not-a-high femme. (I really am not liking the word "low" unless it's used to say "low maintenance").

? ? ? ? ? Ugh.

Again, it's a matter of perception and preference. But in no way do I feel, that a person's self esteem should be based on this so-called hierarchy.