Identity, Authenticity - Do they conflict?

[Lynn]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

For some reason I am really struggling with this topic. I don't know if I am missing something here?

If I choose to be an authentic person, then I would only attach labels to myself that are fitting, no? I wouldn't attach a label that didn't fit my definition of self.

So for me, unless one intentionally attaches a label that isn't connected to who they are, then there is no conflict with authenticity and identity. I am not sure why anyone would do that.

What am I missing here, folks?

I was just going to write something similar. I seem to be having trouble thinking with the discussion. Maybe it's a matter of how I define and use the words identity and authenticity, and labels.

My identity, to me, is who *I* am, at the core. The labels are ways to express aspects of myself, authentic or not. Authenticity depends on how closely my life and living echo my identity.

When I was living as a heterosexual in the burbs, trying to fit myself into the expectations of my husband, parents, and community, I was very unhappy. My life was not being lived with authenticity. I had labels, some of which still hold true, but they were only generalizations.

Even now, I say I'm a lesbian, knowing that everyone has a different idea of what that means. I don't say I'm a femme, even though you might think I am (my partner does), because it just doesn't seem real to me. I was a mom, and I still am. But, being a mom who is more self-aware makes me a better mom. So, the label "mom" doesn't mean the same thing now that it did 18 years ago.

To me, identity is who I am. Authenticity is the most honest expression of that. This requires self-awareness and a willingness to change and grow. Labels are the shorthand that may or may not truly convey the reality of me to you. Self-awareness is, I think, the key. In the process of self-dscovery, I've seen a lot of people try on and sometimes discard how they want to live and be seen. That's the process of self-discovery, and is necessary, I think, for being more and more authentic. It's a process.