Identity, Authenticity - Do they conflict?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

For some reason I am really struggling with this topic. I don't know if I am missing something here?

If I choose to be an authentic person, then I would only attach labels to myself that are fitting, no? I wouldn't attach a label that didn't fit my definition of self.

So for me, unless one intentionally attaches a label that isn't connected to who they are, then there is no conflict with authenticity and identity. I am not sure why anyone would do that.

What am I missing here, folks?

Why would anyone try to be or portray a version of themselves that isn't true?

Haven't been to a school lately, have you, Dapper?

*grin*

Originally Posted by Lynn

I was just going to write something similar. I seem to be having trouble thinking with the discussion. Maybe it's a matter of how I define and use the words identity and authenticity, and labels.

My identity, to me, is who *I* am, at the core. The labels are ways to express aspects of myself, authentic or not. Authenticity depends on how closely my life and living echo my identity.

When I was living as a heterosexual in the burbs, trying to fit myself into the expectations of my husband, parents, and community, I was very unhappy. My life was not being lived with authenticity. I had labels, some of which still hold true, but they were only generalizations.

Even now, I say I'm a lesbian, knowing that everyone has a different idea of what that means. I don't say I'm a femme, even though you might think I am (my partner does), because it just doesn't seem real to me. I was a mom, and I still am. But, being a mom who is more self-aware makes me a better mom. So, the label "mom" doesn't mean the same thing now that it did 18 years ago.

To me, identity is who I am. Authenticity is the most honest expression of that. This requires self-awareness and a willingness to change and grow. Labels are the shorthand that may or may not truly convey the reality of me to you. Self-awareness is, I think, the key. In the process of self-dscovery, I've seen a lot of people try on and sometimes discard how they want to live and be seen. That's the process of self-discovery, and is necessary, I think, for being more and more authentic. It's a process.

To me, you answered your own question. When one is being authentic to him or herself, and identifies in whatever manner allows them to be authentic, then there is little to no conflict within. When one is not authentic to their self, then there's conflict. It may be internal or external or both.

It's like a gear shaft, I think. If all the gears are in line, then the grooves will fall into place and the machine will run smoothly. If something's off (identity or authenticity or both), then the gears will jam and grind. Sometimes that's a good thing, but not usually.

My .02 without much sleep, so I hope it makes sense.