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Breakups, Lessons Learned, Healing PLEASE do not use this forum for ugliness or nasty posts. |
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05-14-2011, 07:28 AM | #11 |
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Butch Relationship Status:
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Forgivness is something we have to come to terms with in our inner self. It is always dependent on your personal circumstances as for some people the reasons are different or more or less painful. I do not think its a negative to not want to embrace something that you haven't made your peace with yet, or may never make your peace with because the hurt is too great. I am a great believer in moving forward in life from the things that cause you harm or pain. But, that said, I struggle with forgiveness because I have a tendency to feel vindictive if I have been hurt badly or feel wronged by someone. That vindictiveness, I know is wrong and a huge part of my struggle in life has been to eliminate that from my personality. As a result, forgiveness comes slowly to me, but that does not mean it won't eventually come. There are some people I have wiped out of my life forever because the hurt was too great and the situation was not repairable. There are many things I have said to people that I wish I could have taken back. I think there are times when we have to go to those extremes in order to be able to move forward. But even though I've done those things, I was still always sad about the loss, the finality of making that decision and the knowledge that even if you forgive, your relationship with that person will never truly be the same because now its tainted in some way. As human beings, we do a lot of things to each other that are abusive, passive agressive, and ultimately unforgivable. I feel as an individual, you must move forward and put yourself in a place where you can heal and if for you that means either forgiving or not forgiving, then you must choose what you think will best serve that end.
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