Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by Yellow band

Succinctly, I have always said this. If it is not all about us, it is for us.

I've been mulling over this post Yellow Band because when I read it, I literally laughed out loud.

I'm a pushy leader....but most of what I do (professionally and in relationships) is actually for the others around me. In an odd way, I serve from the front.

Hard to explain....but....in a relationship I will annoy the hell out of any partner who wants to passively sit and do nothing...who has no goals...who has no vision for their life. I would drive them nuts (and vice versa) because I am all about "who are you? what do you want? where are you going? what do you dream about doing? what will make you happy?"....and then I will kick your ass to get you there.

It isn't for me. It isn't about me. It's about the other....and I have this compelling need to drag, push or pull them (if necessary) to their joy.

Make sense?

My son just turned 14...and he'll tell you that he wants to form his own company, design computer games, possibly get his PhD and teach (and have his interns work for free on his projects)....ahhhh....he's his mother's son. He wants to learn Mandarin Chinese (he's already learning Spanish); wants to live overseas at some point; wants to travel all over the world. He's had a lifetime of my influence, and it shows. He has goals. He has ambition. He wants to accomplish big things.

It isn't that we have to always be doing and busy. We don't. We have "pajama days" when we do nothing at all (including getting dressed). I see nothing wrong with enjoying a TV show, or floating in the pool, or playing with the animals.

I just don't want his, or my, or your (if we're in a relationship) life to be only that. I won't settle, and I'm not comfortable letting the people around me settle either.