Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

Novelafemme · 11-14-2011, 08:13 PM

{{{{Jo}}}} I apologize in advance if this is none of my business, but since I am going through a similar situation with my father perhaps we can commiserate.

I finally realized after this last go around with my dad that I can't make him share with my siblings and I that which he himself cannot even come to terms with. I feel like I have been chasing him around the block since my mom died nearly three years ago and to be quite frank, I'm tired of it. Since I was a little girl I have had my dad on a pedestal I'm not all together sure he is deserved of, and I'm just now...at the age of 38...coming to this realization.

So, my decision is/was to not feed into his BS. I can love him to the moon and back and hope for the best but after all is said and done I can't make him better nor can I make him change his behavior or the way he fundamentally is as a human being. And I have finally come to a place of peace in my heart about this. Well, I still get teary at times over it all, but I have done all I can do and I know how bad it feels to bend over backwards for him and then get this passive/aggressive, shoulder-shrug response.

Hang in there! Are you still coming to AZ soon? xoxo

11-14-2011, 08:13 PM	#11
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	{{{{Jo}}}} I apologize in advance if this is none of my business, but since I am going through a similar situation with my father perhaps we can commiserate. I finally realized after this last go around with my dad that I can't make him share with my siblings and I that which he himself cannot even come to terms with. I feel like I have been chasing him around the block since my mom died nearly three years ago and to be quite frank, I'm tired of it. Since I was a little girl I have had my dad on a pedestal I'm not all together sure he is deserved of, and I'm just now...at the age of 38...coming to this realization. So, my decision is/was to not feed into his BS. I can love him to the moon and back and hope for the best but after all is said and done I can't make him better nor can I make him change his behavior or the way he fundamentally is as a human being. And I have finally come to a place of peace in my heart about this. Well, I still get teary at times over it all, but I have done all I can do and I know how bad it feels to bend over backwards for him and then get this passive/aggressive, shoulder-shrug response. Hang in there! Are you still coming to AZ soon? xoxo