Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships

fatallyblonde · 01-01-2014, 11:46 PM

an abusive relationship is the reason I've stayed away from the scene the last couple of years... I was really fucked up after it and needed a long time to heal.

The person I was with was an FTM guy who moved around and changed his name a lot... as we learned later because he left a trail of destruction in his wake...

I don't want to go too much into the really personal stuff but here's some advice:

Watch out for anyone who idolises you and puts you on a pedastal! Abusive people often do this to their targets... it's because they don't really see you as human, just a projection of their fantasy... so yeah they'll treat you like a queen at first but watch out when they actually comprehend that you are just a fallible human because then they will blame YOU for "deceiving" them and that's when the physical/verbal abuse will begin... although they will have been grooming you with their idolisation into a vulnerable state!

Look out for people who have shady backgrounds, move around a lot and change their name a lot... what are they running from...

Unfortunately statistics say that people who have been abused/assaulted are more likely to experience it again... I don't know why that it is... but I just want to remind survivors that it is never your fault... abusers are tricky, wily people who practice their techniques to manipulate and deceive you... you are not "stupid" if you find yourself in another abusive relationship after leaving one... even if you know what to look for, abusers are cunning and find ways around it... that's their whole thing... deception and manipulation... it is never your fault... you are never stupid or dumb or silly or weak or foolish... it is always the abuser's fault for making the choice to abuse...

01-01-2014, 11:46 PM	#16
fatallyblonde Member How Do You Identify?: lesbian femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: earth Posts: 446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 389 Thanked 770 Times in 181 Posts Rep Power: 7054721	an abusive relationship is the reason I've stayed away from the scene the last couple of years... I was really fucked up after it and needed a long time to heal. The person I was with was an FTM guy who moved around and changed his name a lot... as we learned later because he left a trail of destruction in his wake... I don't want to go too much into the really personal stuff but here's some advice: Watch out for anyone who idolises you and puts you on a pedastal! Abusive people often do this to their targets... it's because they don't really see you as human, just a projection of their fantasy... so yeah they'll treat you like a queen at first but watch out when they actually comprehend that you are just a fallible human because then they will blame YOU for "deceiving" them and that's when the physical/verbal abuse will begin... although they will have been grooming you with their idolisation into a vulnerable state! Look out for people who have shady backgrounds, move around a lot and change their name a lot... what are they running from... Unfortunately statistics say that people who have been abused/assaulted are more likely to experience it again... I don't know why that it is... but I just want to remind survivors that it is never your fault... abusers are tricky, wily people who practice their techniques to manipulate and deceive you... you are not "stupid" if you find yourself in another abusive relationship after leaving one... even if you know what to look for, abusers are cunning and find ways around it... that's their whole thing... deception and manipulation... it is never your fault... you are never stupid or dumb or silly or weak or foolish... it is always the abuser's fault for making the choice to abuse...