The Femme Continuum: The "Highs" and "Lows" of Visibility

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I guess I don't know what to say now.

I mean all we can do is say we are Femme. If someone wants to think we are just straight women then they are free to say whatever they want to say.

A year or so ago someone I considered a really good friend said I was just a straight woman and implied I cheated on Cynthia with men. I am still speechless and very hurt.

All we can do in response is just be ourselves.

I do think it is important to note that when Femmes say "oh so and so is not really Femme or even Queer" it demeans all of us. It's like the ultimate insult for someone Femmes don't like. The ultimate cut. Be who I want you to be or with who I want you to be with or you are a straight woman.

What answer is there for that?

This is where I feel Femme's are more fierce when it comes to criticizing one another.. We tend to go for the jugular... I am not straight, straight looking, straight acting nothing. Yes I was married, I have been tagged as *breeder* and NONE of that can take away from what I am

That is Femme... combat boots and all.

[SuperFemme]

I hate hate hate the term Breeder. It makes me soooo angry, and it's just another way of othering.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Linus

Educate them.

You will need to educate people since it's not in MSM and they won't understand otherwise if they are not clued in. It sucks to have to out yourself each time to educate them but unfortunately, it's a reality in society (it's a page from the trans community and sometimes, something we have to do; I haven't had to do this yet but have no qualms about doing it if the situation ever rises -- I'm already used to educating colleagues who should know but..).

Yes, I try to, but it only happens in the Butch Femme community, not out in the world. My STRAIGHT friends get it, even my regular Lesbian friends. It happens in this community as a slam.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

This is where I feel Femme's are more fierce when it comes to criticizing one another.. We tend to go for the jugular... I am not straight, straight looking, straight acting nothing. Yes I was married, I have been tagged as *breeder* and NONE of that can take away from what I am

That is Femme... combat boots and all.

I wish we could as Femmes be more supportive of each other and if we are going to toss insults pick one other than so and so is straight!

That negates so much about who we are!

Fierce Femmes!

[Apocalipstic]

Forgive me, I am tired today....

But if Butch is just something evolving into something else?
and Femme can suddenly be straight if someone says so?

Then why are we even here?

We really don't exist at all if this is true.

I know, I know.....

Just have been reading the threads from over the weekend, and I feel kind of empty right now.

Will be back tomorrow, maybe the sun will be shining and I will feel more my usual self.