Unconditional Love... is it really unconditional?

TL1 · 09-28-2016, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shystonefem

I disagree. I believe that unconditional love, just like love, can fade away. I can (and did) love someone through betrayal, abuse, etc and even after I was away from the situation, I loved that person but it fades and goes away.

I don't think unconditional love has to be forever to be unconditional. I think the presence of it is enough to qualify as unconditional.

I think it goes back to what imperfect_cupcake said, the definition of unconditional love is subjective to one's own interpretation.

I can see this point as well. Makes sense to me. It's unconditional WHILE its there.

Hmmmm........ But then if something killed it.....

I like these different aspects. Leaves me thinking.

imperfect_cupcake · 09-28-2016, 11:41 AM

I think love outside of immediate family *should* be conditional. I think that would be very healthy. I would love my parents even if they killed someone and ate them. Would I want to hang out with them? Probably not. But I would still love them, care very much they were ok in jail. Probably check up on them. Probably still visit them.

My birth mum is crazy, crazy and a hoarder. She will hord animals if she can and that is a form of animal abuse. She doesn't understand or believe this hurts them. I know why she got this way and it breaks my heart. I want her to be happy and I wish she didn't feel the way she does or do the things she does. I still love her.

My brother is a literal psychopath. He was diagnosed many years ago. He has been under a lot of treatment by cutting edge people. I don't know if he has stopped being a danger to others. He was exceptionally abusive to me growing up. I don't believe that its something he can help more than a shark can help its nature. I can't blame a bear for being a bear, nor a shark for being a shark. His brain is literally different from ours. He was born a preditor.
I do love him in that I have love feelings for him, as well as anger, disgust, etc. I probably think its in the community's best interest to shoot him.

I remember seeing a season of a tv show where a mother learns that her son is raping and killing women. He's an odd sort and skinny and get bullied a lot by the local lads. And she realised if he goes to jail, he will be severely bullied for the rest of his life. Like he has been bullied since that age of 6 by other kids. So instead she kills him. I think this is a perfect demonstration of a) unconditional love b) still understanding the person is accountable, even though they may not be fully functional to blame.

Brilliant show by the way. One of my favourites. The main character is a late middle aged woman cop who is a grandmother. And she is AWESOME.

Anyway, unconditional love means you love unconditionally, in my books. It doesn't mean you can't have the desire to stop their monsterous behaviour.

But all other kinds of love is still meaningful to most people.

I think our lack of names for the different kinds of love is a serious linguistic handicap. The Ancient Greeks had about 30 names for love to describe love in all of its different shades and complexities. You could love people in more than one way, you weren't limited to one type of love per user. The big seven are:

Eros
Philia
Ludos
Agape
Pragma
Storge
Philautia

Kätzchen · 09-28-2016, 12:22 PM

The Greek term -- Storge -- is most likely the type of love I tend to favor. Not on an biased type of way, but because of the way it develops over time, and the way it grows in an organic kind of way.

I relate to your post cupcake... like, my family was sooooo dysfunctional and still is...., but although I have loving feelings for some of my family, I usually draw the line and make distinctions about the way I can love them, or not.

Love is such a tricky thing. But, love is also an emotion, and like emotions, if left unregulated or left unchecked or not held to accountability, can be, most likely, as hurtful and damaging as its other emotive counterparts (ie, hate, scorn, blissfulness, happyness, et al).

I think, in my case, I view love as something that most likely is not unconditional. I think conditions are driving factors in emotive processes.... and if left unchecked and not regulated or held to reasonable limits or levels of accountability, can have any number of outcomes (+\-).

Bubala · 09-28-2016, 02:19 PM

Unconditional = without ANY conditions, without limitations and without expiration date, thus it means fully, truly and forever.

As humans, we exist in a finite state of constant conditioning. We condition our own selves... We condition everything.

As much as I believe in human goodness. I haven't felt or witnessed such love beyond hypotheses. Life is constant evolution with respect to one's emotional intelligence, I'm working on my own ability to love the universe and myself better, working for progress and against regression every day.

Kätzchen · 04-23-2017, 09:45 AM

***** bumping for a good Sunday read *****

MsTinkerbelly · 04-23-2017, 10:14 AM

My wife turned to me last week and said, "thank you for making me feel loved unconditionally".

Dang, I fell in love with her all over again.

09-28-2016, 12:22 PM	#3
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Involved with someone special in my hometown Join Date: May 2010 Location: In a small community Posts: 16,309 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,209 Thanked 33,655 Times in 10,742 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	The Greek term -- Storge -- is most likely the type of love I tend to favor. Not on an biased type of way, but because of the way it develops over time, and the way it grows in an organic kind of way. I relate to your post cupcake... like, my family was sooooo dysfunctional and still is...., but although I have loving feelings for some of my family, I usually draw the line and make distinctions about the way I can love them, or not. Love is such a tricky thing. But, love is also an emotion, and like emotions, if left unregulated or left unchecked or not held to accountability, can be, most likely, as hurtful and damaging as its other emotive counterparts (ie, hate, scorn, blissfulness, happyness, et al). I think, in my case, I view love as something that most likely is not unconditional. I think conditions are driving factors in emotive processes.... and if left unchecked and not regulated or held to reasonable limits or levels of accountability, can have any number of outcomes (+\-). __________________ “The way someone treats you is not a reflection of your worth: It’s a reflection of their emotional capacity,” — Jillian Turecki. ”Without justice, democracy dies,” — Jess Michaels (Epstein survivor).

09-28-2016, 02:19 PM	#4
Bubala Member How Do You Identify?: Lady Sunflower Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: San Fran Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 463 Thanked 1,671 Times in 615 Posts Rep Power: 9338277	Unconditional = without ANY conditions, without limitations and without expiration date, thus it means fully, truly and forever. As humans, we exist in a finite state of constant conditioning. We condition our own selves... We condition everything. As much as I believe in human goodness. I haven't felt or witnessed such love beyond hypotheses. Life is constant evolution with respect to one's emotional intelligence, I'm working on my own ability to love the universe and myself better, working for progress and against regression every day. __________________ When life turns its back on you....grab its ass

04-23-2017, 09:45 AM	#5
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Involved with someone special in my hometown Join Date: May 2010 Location: In a small community Posts: 16,309 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,209 Thanked 33,655 Times in 10,742 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	*** bumping for a good Sunday read * __________________ “The way someone treats you is not a reflection of your worth: It’s a reflection of their emotional capacity,” — Jillian Turecki. ”Without justice, democracy dies,” — Jess Michaels** (Epstein survivor).

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09-28-2016, 11:41 AM	#2
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,710 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I think love outside of immediate family should be conditional. I think that would be very healthy. I would love my parents even if they killed someone and ate them. Would I want to hang out with them? Probably not. But I would still love them, care very much they were ok in jail. Probably check up on them. Probably still visit them. My birth mum is crazy, crazy and a hoarder. She will hord animals if she can and that is a form of animal abuse. She doesn't understand or believe this hurts them. I know why she got this way and it breaks my heart. I want her to be happy and I wish she didn't feel the way she does or do the things she does. I still love her. My brother is a literal psychopath. He was diagnosed many years ago. He has been under a lot of treatment by cutting edge people. I don't know if he has stopped being a danger to others. He was exceptionally abusive to me growing up. I don't believe that its something he can help more than a shark can help its nature. I can't blame a bear for being a bear, nor a shark for being a shark. His brain is literally different from ours. He was born a preditor. I do love him in that I have love feelings for him, as well as anger, disgust, etc. I probably think its in the community's best interest to shoot him. I remember seeing a season of a tv show where a mother learns that her son is raping and killing women. He's an odd sort and skinny and get bullied a lot by the local lads. And she realised if he goes to jail, he will be severely bullied for the rest of his life. Like he has been bullied since that age of 6 by other kids. So instead she kills him. I think this is a perfect demonstration of a) unconditional love b) still understanding the person is accountable, even though they may not be fully functional to blame. Brilliant show by the way. One of my favourites. The main character is a late middle aged woman cop who is a grandmother. And she is AWESOME. Anyway, unconditional love means you love unconditionally, in my books. It doesn't mean you can't have the desire to stop their monsterous behaviour. But all other kinds of love is still meaningful to most people. I think our lack of names for the different kinds of love is a serious linguistic handicap. The Ancient Greeks had about 30 names for love to describe love in all of its different shades and complexities. You could love people in more than one way, you weren't limited to one type of love per user. The big seven are: Eros Philia Ludos Agape Pragma Storge Philautia

04-23-2017, 10:14 AM	#6
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,895 Times in 5,017 Posts Rep Power: 0	My wife turned to me last week and said, "thank you for making me feel loved unconditionally". Dang, I fell in love with her all over again.