Ask a trans person!

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by Jet

I want to write a letter to HR

And probably after the interview if I'm strong candidate

I don't currently pass as male
I feel addressing this early on is important because of the nature of my field; this is at a corporate level where the image of the company and its employees is everything.

If I adress this early on I risk losing a position

If I address after I'm hired
I risk losing job

This is an "at will" state
Where they can fire you over anything.

My transition won't go unnoticed.

I'm not trying to argue with you, but I feel as though you're taking it as argument

You're going to do what you're going to do and what makes you comfortable

I'm speaking from my own experience in all of this as someone who lost their job in an at will state and as someone who looked for a job for over three years in an at will state. I've written the letter and sent it with a cover letter and resume...no response at ALL. NONE. And that was from a company who stated "Transgendered people [among others] encouraged to apply", and I've come out at interviews at companies who stated they were 'trans-friendly'. They mostly liked that I was 'gay'. They didn't know what to do when I was trans, and I didn't get hired.

I'm confused about this letter. You say, "I want to write a letter to HR" and "And probably after the interview"

So, I'm confused. You want to write a letter to HR. I get the impression based on the above that you want to write a letter before you've even interviewed with the company. Am I correct in that?

And then, am I correct in that you also plan on addressing it after you've interviewed? So, that would mean HR has two letters from you about being trans?

Have you ever sent a letter to HR telling them you were queer? Before you even interviewed? Did you ever send two letters to HR telling them you were queer?

At will does not mean that companies are allowed to just throw some things out the window. I mean, even in at will states, companies are not allowed to fire you for being a woman, being POC, being disabled, being Jewish, etc. Sure we all know they'll find another reason if they really want to fire you for that, but they're not 'allowed' to tell you, "You can't work here, because of your sex, religion, etc".

This is why you have to research your particular city/state/county ordinances. Many companies have no clue what city ordinances are in place. The more information YOU have, the better off you're going to be. You're going to have a much stronger chance of protecting yourself if you arm yourself with knowledge.

Personally, I've found interviewing during transition incredibly difficult. But that's just me. And the way I would handle it now has greatly changed from the way I've handled it in the past (partly because I've already done all the 'coming out' at interviews, and all it got me was laughed at, sideways looks, fearful looks, and uncomfortable awkwardness...it yielded no job).

I also get that you don't pass as male. I get that. And that makes it even harder. Personally, and this is completely based on experience, I would start telling yourself you DO pass, because you ARE a man...and I would dress and act like it in an interview. I mean, I don't know what you're planning on wearing to an interview, but I'd do a suit and tie. If YOU are in an interview, and YOU aren't acting the part, it's going to make everything weird. The interviewer is going to be looking for YOU for guidance on how to act. If you're waivering or uncertain, it's going to make the whole situation uncomfortable. If YOU don't 'believe' you're a man, no one else is going to believe you're a man.

Two/Three years ago, I was in exactly your same position, and an older wiser transguy gave me the same advice. I thought he was completely full of shit ("How can I go in there in a suit and tie when I don't pass?" is what I asked myself), and it really pissed me off. One thing I've found after more and more interviews is that yes, 'passing' was more about attitude than it was about T. I mean, if you're going to tell me you're a man, I would expect a man to show up in a suit and tie for a corporate interview. It's what the 'rule books' say a man wears to a corporate interview. If you're going to tell me you're a man, and you're going to show up in something less than a suit and tie, I'm going to think you're confused...which is going to confuse me. I'm also not going to give you the job, because you didn't show up in the proper attire, and if you can't show up for an interview in 'proper' attire, what's to say you'll show up for work in the 'proper attire'? Your confusion is going to make me confused, and I'm not going to know how to deal with you, and I'm not going to hire you, because I'm going to be uncomfortable. Sad but true. (I'm also not saying I agree with any of this, but it's the way it is in most of America).

Show up in a suit and tie, and you might be surprised how many people never look past that suit and tie and just read you as male for no other reason. Seriously, I have been incredibly mystified at times. People are lazy. I don't know what name you use on your resume, but if you're using your male name, and the company calls expecting a man, you're much better off if you don't 'throw them off'. When people get confused, they get scared, and when they get scared, they don't hire you.

It's binary, and it's complete bullshit, but it's corporate america and people like nice, neat packages. Again, it's complete bullshit, but it's the way it is.
And NO ONE is going to go out and educate themselves on trans issues just so you can have a job. I don't mean that in a harsh way, but it's true. It's a lot easier to just toss out your resume and find another one than it is for people to educate themselves and a whole company on trans issues.

Another reason I wouldn't say anything in an interview or before hand is because HR has to be mindful of covering the company's ass...they're NOT going to want to hire anyone they perceive as being a 'nuisance'. Contrary to popular belief, HR is NOT their for the benefit of the employees...HR is there to protect the company. When it comes down to you or the company, HR is going with the company. Transpeople have the potential to start a whirlwind of shit at companies...not only with health insurance, but also with coworkers and lawsuits. NO HR dept is going to take on a (what they perceive as) possible liability/lawsuit. And if you're already bombarding them with a letter (or two) (read: making an issue out it), it's going to be blindingly apparent to them that you're a possible liability on a number of fronts.

No one's going to educate themselves on trans issues if there's a 'normal' easy candidate available...and in this economy, there are plenty of cis candidates with whom no one has to navigate pronouns/bathrooms/health insurance/lawsuits/name-calling/etc.

You're a man. Walk in there like a man and get a job.


Dylan

P.S. I also like Koop's advice about interview for jobs you don't necessarily want before you go in for the interview you DO want. I wish I'd have thought of that when I was still looking for a job. It's a brilliant idea for anyone, but especially so in this instance.