The Female Male ID "Wars"... or Great Divide

[Liam]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I ask myself why do all these butch-femme sites pop up with such a mixed group of participants? Why not set up a site that is for transmen/male id and those who love them? Why not honor your identities with a home that puts who you are right out there? Im not dissing anyone here but when I fought to be a lesbian, I wanted a lesbian community. What arent the transmen/male id's wanting to establish a homeland of their own? Is it because they have a ready supply of potential mates in their accepting, inclusive former lesbian home? Why mess up a good thing?

When I first discovered an online butch/femme community, I felt like I had finally found my people. Being relatively isolated, it filled an emptiness I felt; yes, I had friends in my real time life, but none identified as butches and femmes, much less transgender. I was blessed to be able to socialize with an FTM on several occasions. That said, it has always been my belief, that because I once tried to be a woman, and tried to be a dyke/lesbian and led consciousness raising groups on the myriad of isms in our society, marched and fought for women's rights as well as LGBQT rights, pioneered with others to create organizations to address the isms, and the rights of women and those who fall into the category of LGBQT, that I would be welcome here. Transitioning does not erase my past, nor does it transform me into a popular cliche I have heard more than once, right here, a "knuckle dragging male."

When I was trying to be a woman, I accomplished a number of things, as "the first woman to do/be ______." I did not succeed because of male privilege, but because I refused to be told that I was limited to be who I wanted to be, or what I chose to do. I dislike tooting my own horn, but I think it is important for others here to know that I transitioned to male, not for the privilege, but because it was a matter of being true to myself.