What Cracked You Up Today?

[Femmadian]

Over this past weekend I had occasion to laugh at myself.

So, for quite some time now, most of the men I interact with in my life on a regular basis are either gay, related to me, and/or 20+ years older than I am and married. Single straight men of my age group don't really exist in my world (and, you know, I'm actually okay with that... ).

Anywaaaay...

So the other day some guy I met gave me his number (hey, that's not the funny part... ). We were just chatting about whatever and he suggested meeting up some time at a local hang out spot and I was all like, "yeah, sure, that'd be fun!", proceeded to exchange numbers, and he seemed pretty happy about the whole thing. It was all very friendly and innocent (or so I thought). And then I said something like "and hey, feel free to bring your lady or gentleman friend along too, if you have one. The more, the merrier." And he just kind of looked at me. And so I looked at him. And he looked at me. And then as I continued looking at him, it slowly began to dawn on me. Oh... shit. Wait, did I just get asked out by a straight guy? Ohhhhh... Whoops.

I was so oblivious to the fact that he 1) actually thought I was straight (or bi, whatever) and 2) was asking me out that I swear I just stared at him blankly for what must have seemed like an eternity, waiting for my brain to finally catch up. It hadn't even occurred to me that straight men my age still existed! It was like a scene from The Office. If you looked close enough, you probably could have seen an Error 404 message pop up in my eyeballs.

"Oh, you meant---"
"Well, yeah, but---"
"Oh, nononononono, I mean, it's okay bu---"
"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I---"
"No, no, no, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Actually..."

And, yeah...

It was all very awkward for all parties involved. And I now have a bit more appreciation for when butches talk about being a 2x4 butch because, yeah, apparently I'm a 2x4 femme (when it comes to straight men, anyway).

And it totally made me think of that meme from the BFP Instagram page:

So, long story short, if any cis male-oriented folks are attracted to the Dudley Do-Right type, I have the number of a very nice (and confused) park ranger for you!