Caregivers and Stress

[Chad]

Mom rarely goes outside anymore eventhough I have planted pretty flowers around the house. After mowing yesterday I had an idea to drive her around my land to see the wildflowers. She really perked up. I drove her to see my neighbor's wildflowers too and he was out so we stopped for a chat. I think that made her day. Sometimes it is the small things that make a difference.

[Kelt]

Today I went ahead and canceled my hotel and car reservations to visit my mother over Mother’s Day, she can’t have any visitors anyway, never mind the fact that I would have to quarantine for two weeks after entering the state. Just out of curiosity I wondered how cheap the airfare had gotten and took a look. Alaska airlines is the only company that serves passengers in her town with a small turbo prop plane. There is no longer passenger service in her town or anywhere closer than a 4 Hour drive. I really didn’t see that one coming, of course I should have, but it was a surprise nonetheless. Another hurdle between us.

Beyond that where she is staying is working out very well for being on lockdown. It is a small private home with only four residents and half a dozen permanent caregivers. They also have a large deck which at this time of year provides very nice outdoor space and they are also eating lunch outside weather permitting each with their own table about 8 feet away from each other. Given what I have seen about these large crowded nursing and care homes I am extremely grateful for having found this place. I can only imagine how incredibly isolating it would be for these folks to be literally locked into their room or apartment. At least mom has freedom of movement within the various rooms of the house as well as the deck. All things considered, I don’t think she could be in a better place.

I still wish I could go be with her for Mother’s Day.

[Kelt]

Looks like I spoke too soon and jinxed it.

Last night my mother had a fall and was taken to the hospital for assessment, no choice, likely a virus exposure. She is now back home.

Her shoulder is broken and now we are trying to figure out video conferencing with an orthotics office that is shut down. They say maybe Friday. My first reaction is to just get on an airplane and go be with her to fix things which is what I do and now I can’t.

I have never felt more helpless.

[~ocean]

Originally Posted by Kelt

Looks like I spoke too soon and jinxed it.

Last night my mother had a fall and was taken to the hospital for assessment, no choice, likely a virus exposure. She is now back home.

Her shoulder is broken and now we are trying to figure out video conferencing with an orthotics office that is shut down. They say maybe Friday. My first reaction is to just get on an airplane and go be with her to fix things which is what I do and now I can’t.

I have never felt more helpless.

((((( kelt )))))) so sorry ~

[Chad]

Sometimes I just need a break but there is no break. No help and no back up. I am alone in this and somedays I just need a day off.

[Chad]

It has come to my attention that I may not be specific sometimes. I am working from home these days. At 6:30 am I make mom and I breakfast then I work. At noon I make mom and I lunch, then I work. At 4:30 I make dinner. After that everything else. Cleaning, laundry, yardwork, groceries, cats, and anything else. Nothing here gets done if I don't do it. Sometimes I want to take the I out of all this work. Maybe go dancing for a change.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by Chad

It has come to my attention that I may not be specific sometimes. I am working from home these days. At 6:30 am I make mom and I breakfast then I work. At noon I make mom and I lunch, then I work. At 4:30 I make dinner. After that everything else. Cleaning, laundry, yardwork, groceries, cats, and anything else. Nothing here gets done if I don't do it. Sometimes I want to take the I out of all this work. Maybe go dancing for a change.

Not to make light of your situation Chad but wait until after the social distancing thing for dancing! How much "fun" can be had when we have to hold our dancing partner 6 feet away..

[~SweetCheeks~]

Last summer "Justin" my spouse was diagnosed with end stage liver failure considered terminal. We have spent the last 9 months learning how to live our new normal. I am doing my best to keep her alive, healthy as I can and keep her comfortable. She is doing better just battling serious weight loss and fluid buildup from the liver not working well which is causing severe pain. She also was diagnosed with kidney failure. I have developed lists for all appointments with all her updated info and any changes. I have become a fierce advocate and voice for her as some Drs like to ignore needed treatments or act like I haven't done extensive research. It's one of the hardest things I have ever experienced watching the one I love with everything slowly lose more and more of their independence, but also hopeful watching how hard she's fighting to keep somewhat of a normal life. She was able to return to work from home and that has helped her so much. Much love and support to all the caregivers out there. sorry for the rambling

[clay]

Originally Posted by ~SweetCheeks~

Last summer "Justin" my spouse was diagnosed with end stage liver failure considered terminal. We have spent the last 9 months learning how to live our new normal. I am doing my best to keep her alive, healthy as I can and keep her comfortable. She is doing better just battling serious weight loss and fluid buildup from the liver not working well which is causing severe pain. She also was diagnosed with kidney failure. I have developed lists for all appointments with all her updated info and any changes. I have become a fierce advocate and voice for her as some Drs like to ignore needed treatments or act like I haven't done extensive research. It's one of the hardest things I have ever experienced watching the one I love with everything slowly lose more and more of their independence, but also hopeful watching how hard she's fighting to keep somewhat of a normal life. She was able to return to work from home and that has helped her so much. Much love and support to all the caregivers out there. sorry for the rambling

(((((((((((((((SweetCheeks))))))))))))) Bless you & Justin both! I know how very hard this is on the both of you. 11 years ago, I had this same challenge & heartbreak in my own life, watching my LTR partner pass away, after fighting 26 months (Stage 4, Terminal breast cancer, with metastases, esp her liver..which is what she succumbed to, too weak to fight any longer. This is gut wrenching, one is fraught with so many emotions, challenges, thoughts, and stress. I can't imagine your own journey with this, but know even from afar, you both are in my heart, & prayers daily! You know how much I love you both! Gentle hugs for you, my sweet friend!!