Caregivers and Stress

Kelt · 04-29-2020, 04:07 PM

Looks like I spoke too soon and jinxed it.

Last night my mother had a fall and was taken to the hospital for assessment, no choice, likely a virus exposure. She is now back home.

Her shoulder is broken and now we are trying to figure out video conferencing with an orthotics office that is shut down. They say maybe Friday. My first reaction is to just get on an airplane and go be with her to fix things which is what I do and now I can’t.

I have never felt more helpless.

~ocean · 04-30-2020, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelt

Looks like I spoke too soon and jinxed it.

Last night my mother had a fall and was taken to the hospital for assessment, no choice, likely a virus exposure. She is now back home.

Her shoulder is broken and now we are trying to figure out video conferencing with an orthotics office that is shut down. They say maybe Friday. My first reaction is to just get on an airplane and go be with her to fix things which is what I do and now I can’t.

I have never felt more helpless.

((((( kelt )))))) so sorry ~

Chad · 05-16-2020, 12:53 PM

Sometimes I just need a break but there is no break. No help and no back up. I am alone in this and somedays I just need a day off.

Chad · 05-16-2020, 02:59 PM

It has come to my attention that I may not be specific sometimes. I am working from home these days. At 6:30 am I make mom and I breakfast then I work. At noon I make mom and I lunch, then I work. At 4:30 I make dinner. After that everything else. Cleaning, laundry, yardwork, groceries, cats, and anything else. Nothing here gets done if I don't do it. Sometimes I want to take the I out of all this work. Maybe go dancing for a change.

homoe · 05-16-2020, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

It has come to my attention that I may not be specific sometimes. I am working from home these days. At 6:30 am I make mom and I breakfast then I work. At noon I make mom and I lunch, then I work. At 4:30 I make dinner. After that everything else. Cleaning, laundry, yardwork, groceries, cats, and anything else. Nothing here gets done if I don't do it. Sometimes I want to take the I out of all this work. Maybe go dancing for a change.

Not to make light of your situation Chad but wait until after the social distancing thing for dancing! How much "fun" can be had when we have to hold our dancing partner 6 feet away..

Chad · 05-16-2020, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by homoe

Not to make light of your situation Chad but wait until after the social distancing thing for dancing! How much "fun" can be had when we have to hold our dancing partner 6 feet away..

Funny, my lady will have a big laugh about that.

. Stay safe my friend I heart you.

homoe · 05-16-2020, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Funny, my lady will have a big laugh about that.

. Stay safe my friend I heart you.

OMG I've heard of romance budding while being incarcerated, but finding romance and a loved one during a pandemic, you my friend ROCK.....

~SweetCheeks~ · 06-17-2020, 12:37 AM

Last summer "Justin" my spouse was diagnosed with end stage liver failure considered terminal. We have spent the last 9 months learning how to live our new normal. I am doing my best to keep her alive, healthy as I can and keep her comfortable. She is doing better just battling serious weight loss and fluid buildup from the liver not working well which is causing severe pain. She also was diagnosed with kidney failure. I have developed lists for all appointments with all her updated info and any changes. I have become a fierce advocate and voice for her as some Drs like to ignore needed treatments or act like I haven't done extensive research. It's one of the hardest things I have ever experienced watching the one I love with everything slowly lose more and more of their independence, but also hopeful watching how hard she's fighting to keep somewhat of a normal life. She was able to return to work from home and that has helped her so much. Much love and support to all the caregivers out there. sorry for the rambling

clay · 06-17-2020, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~SweetCheeks~

Last summer "Justin" my spouse was diagnosed with end stage liver failure considered terminal. We have spent the last 9 months learning how to live our new normal. I am doing my best to keep her alive, healthy as I can and keep her comfortable. She is doing better just battling serious weight loss and fluid buildup from the liver not working well which is causing severe pain. She also was diagnosed with kidney failure. I have developed lists for all appointments with all her updated info and any changes. I have become a fierce advocate and voice for her as some Drs like to ignore needed treatments or act like I haven't done extensive research. It's one of the hardest things I have ever experienced watching the one I love with everything slowly lose more and more of their independence, but also hopeful watching how hard she's fighting to keep somewhat of a normal life. She was able to return to work from home and that has helped her so much. Much love and support to all the caregivers out there. sorry for the rambling

(((((((((((((((SweetCheeks))))))))))))) Bless you & Justin both! I know how very hard this is on the both of you. 11 years ago, I had this same challenge & heartbreak in my own life, watching my LTR partner pass away, after fighting 26 months (Stage 4, Terminal breast cancer, with metastases, esp her liver..which is what she succumbed to, too weak to fight any longer. This is gut wrenching, one is fraught with so many emotions, challenges, thoughts, and stress. I can't imagine your own journey with this, but know even from afar, you both are in my heart, & prayers daily! You know how much I love you both! Gentle hugs for you, my sweet friend!!

JustLovelyJenn · 06-18-2020, 05:32 PM

New adventure in the life of Jenn as a caregiver... I am spending part of the summer in Utah, helping my cousin who has stage four metastatic breast cancer. She is on her THIRD run of chemo... and its kicking her ass. I am doing my best to just make sure she has what she needs and leave her alone to rest... but this is defiantly a new experience for me. While taking care of my kiddo is demanding, there are things I can do, things that help, structure to follow. Taking care of my mother when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, was a challenge, but it was new, and it was early, and the prognosis was easy. No chemo, radiation only, take the lump, eat healthy take your meds and go back to your life. Seeing everything my cousin is dealing with is hard. She knows this is not getting better. She knows we are just prolonging things as long as possible... hoping she makes it to her daughters high school graduation, her college graduation, her wedding, her first grandbabies birth. But, we dont know if any of that will happen. And I can see it in her, and it hurts my heart.

Chad · 07-12-2020, 09:49 AM

Hi, mom and I are good and we are safe here in no where Texas. Her mobility has diminished to about 10 %. I think it is time for a scooter.

I hope friends are safe in this pandemic.

05-16-2020, 12:53 PM	#3
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers Sometimes I just need a break but there is no break. No help and no back up. I am alone in this and somedays I just need a day off.

05-16-2020, 02:59 PM	#4
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers It has come to my attention that I may not be specific sometimes. I am working from home these days. At 6:30 am I make mom and I breakfast then I work. At noon I make mom and I lunch, then I work. At 4:30 I make dinner. After that everything else. Cleaning, laundry, yardwork, groceries, cats, and anything else. Nothing here gets done if I don't do it. Sometimes I want to take the I out of all this work. Maybe go dancing for a change.

06-17-2020, 12:37 AM	#8
~SweetCheeks~ Member How Do You Identify?: femme-babygirl-brat Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Justin's babygirl Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: So Cal Posts: 733 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,608 Thanked 3,253 Times in 646 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Tired and sad Last summer "Justin" my spouse was diagnosed with end stage liver failure considered terminal. We have spent the last 9 months learning how to live our new normal. I am doing my best to keep her alive, healthy as I can and keep her comfortable. She is doing better just battling serious weight loss and fluid buildup from the liver not working well which is causing severe pain. She also was diagnosed with kidney failure. I have developed lists for all appointments with all her updated info and any changes. I have become a fierce advocate and voice for her as some Drs like to ignore needed treatments or act like I haven't done extensive research. It's one of the hardest things I have ever experienced watching the one I love with everything slowly lose more and more of their independence, but also hopeful watching how hard she's fighting to keep somewhat of a normal life. She was able to return to work from home and that has helped her so much. Much love and support to all the caregivers out there. sorry for the rambling

06-18-2020, 05:32 PM	#10
JustLovelyJenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aberdeen, WA Posts: 4,478 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,464 Thanked 13,992 Times in 3,684 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	New adventure in the life of Jenn as a caregiver... I am spending part of the summer in Utah, helping my cousin who has stage four metastatic breast cancer. She is on her THIRD run of chemo... and its kicking her ass. I am doing my best to just make sure she has what she needs and leave her alone to rest... but this is defiantly a new experience for me. While taking care of my kiddo is demanding, there are things I can do, things that help, structure to follow. Taking care of my mother when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, was a challenge, but it was new, and it was early, and the prognosis was easy. No chemo, radiation only, take the lump, eat healthy take your meds and go back to your life. Seeing everything my cousin is dealing with is hard. She knows this is not getting better. She knows we are just prolonging things as long as possible... hoping she makes it to her daughters high school graduation, her college graduation, her wedding, her first grandbabies birth. But, we dont know if any of that will happen. And I can see it in her, and it hurts my heart. __________________ --Jenn

07-12-2020, 09:49 AM	#11
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers Hi, mom and I are good and we are safe here in no where Texas. Her mobility has diminished to about 10 %. I think it is time for a scooter. I hope friends are safe in this pandemic.

04-29-2020, 04:07 PM	#1
Kelt Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Beach Butch Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: SoCal Posts: 2,751 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19,765 Thanked 15,289 Times in 2,539 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Looks like I spoke too soon and jinxed it. Last night my mother had a fall and was taken to the hospital for assessment, no choice, likely a virus exposure. She is now back home. Her shoulder is broken and now we are trying to figure out video conferencing with an orthotics office that is shut down. They say maybe Friday. My first reaction is to just get on an airplane and go be with her to fix things which is what I do and now I can’t. I have never felt more helpless.