Ask a trans person!

[CamBAMF]

Originally Posted by Dylan

I agree with many things you've said here, but I disagree that most often hate crimes take place in gendered areas. This would mean most hate crimes against MTFs take place in women's restrooms and locker rooms, and I just don't buy that, because most hate crimes against trans-individuals (as I hate hate hate the terms 'The Trans' and 'transgenders') are not perpetrated by women.

Most hate crimes committed against the trans community are perpetrated by men against MTFs (and there's not more MTFs, the actual guesstimate is closer to 50/50) in public areas like on the street, or they were followed home, etc.

Also, I personally, don't find it any easier to "reason with females". I don't even really know what you mean there, honestly. I've always had the absolute worst time in women's restrooms, and I can't imagine ever going back in there. There's no 'reasoning' with anyone when you've scared them...especially when it comes to women being in fear of a man in the restroom. But I don't even know how I *would* 'reason' with a woman in the restroom that I *belong* there at this point. And if I *were* to end up in the women's restroom, I really wouldn't be 'fighting them off'...because I just don't belong there, and they have a very valid reason to protect themselves. But this also means that MTFs would have an easier time 'fighting off' women (if it were women committing most of the violent crimes against MTFs) in the restroom, being that MTFs have 'had all those years sharing their bodies with testosterone'. But as we all know, women aren't going to stand in the restroom and 'fight off' an intruder. Instead, they're going to go find a security guard, police officer, etc (as many of us here can attest to having had done to us when women think 'there's a man in the bathroom).

And again, I don't want to dispute your fear, because it's yours, but I wish I'd have started using the men's farrrrrrrrrr earlier than I did. If I'd had known how much less crap I was in for in the men's room, I'd have done it 20 years ago. I'm wayyyyyyyyyyy less apprehensive about using the men's room, because no one even looks at you. I've only had one experience where any man ever even bothered to look at me, and he was just a chatty old guy who sidled up to the urinal next to me and started carrying on about his day. Even when I didn't pass, men didn't say a word. For me, personally, I am MUCH less 'afraid' in the men's room. For ME, I DO think being able to use the urinal helps a lot with any apprehension.


My Thoughts,
Dylan

ETA: I find it incredibly privileged and just...gross...that an FTM would use the women's restroom if they pass and live as male.

P.P.S. I also find it attention seeking

I can understand your rational to the hate crime statment- To be honest the statistic was written in a pamphlet I received at a trans confrence at Rutgers New Brunswick years ago. Frankly U.S. estimates are so are so mess up its hard to believe any of it. But what your saying about gendered areas seems logical. So I withdraw my previous statment.

MTF being a higher number, that didn't come from the US. In actuality it came from the netherlands. The reason the statistic came out of the netherlands is because they are more socially accepting of transgendered individuals (more accepting not totally accepting- so there is a margin of error) The idea being, that there people are more will to say they are transitioning since there isnt such a social stigma. the last estimate I heard was 1 out of 12000 males are MTF and 1 out of 34000 females are FTM... but I did also hear that gap was closing. and these estimates were taken when I was like 8 years old.

As for the actual being easier with women... I really must live on another planet... Ive been mistaken as a guy Long before testosterone also. And yes some times a girl would point out I was in the wrong bathroom, and I would calmly explain that I was actually biologically female. Never did a girl shudder in fear when I entered the bathroom or run screaming from the room. And there was never a reason for a girl to protect herself when I entered the room. Not once has a security guard or cop ever come knocking on my stall trying to remove me. Never was I shouted at or forcibly removed. Either I just ran into the nicest females in the world or everyone else has the worst luck. Now Im not saying I would ever go back to the female bathrooms. Actually to be honset I'm most comfortable in family bathrooms, best way to go in my opinion- but I digress.

Okay I'll admit the fighting off statment was incredibly sexist. But hypotetically speaking biological females have a disadvantage to biological males- why? because biological male have more speed and strength (more muscles) for hunting dating back to our primitive cave man ansestors, while famale were equipted with extra fatty tissue and the ability to give birth. When on hormones, we in essense exchange what nature gave us for the opposite version (as best as possible since not everything changes). Based on simple deduction, I am probably strong then my equal female counterpart. Now, Im not saying I would EVER over power a girl whether I can or cant. And Im not saying there arent exceptions or that girls are powerless- Im positive that some of my girl friends would beat my ass in for even suggesting such a thing. Im saying T alone would give you the upper hand on a girl over a biological guy if trouble were to start. I never had trouble start. This is all hypotetical. and your right men are most often the perps, and MTF are most often the victims... but there are always execption...

lol. Yea I have a lot of fear. Anxiety issue up the wazoo.

but what I really think is, we are argueing over a toilet here. C'mon. a toilet. seriously. If he doesnt do it out of fear, and does it for the pink motif. Who cares. Is he hurting someone? If not then I dont see the issue. If he does it for shock value, to get a rise out of people, for attention then everyone who decided to make a big deal out of this just handed him everything he wanted... No I dont agree with doing things for attention, but I know attention seekers love it when they are the center of the debate...

I'm just saying.