The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

WickedFemme · 06-30-2010, 03:44 PM

Hello lofters, I just need to 'rant' a bit... lol...
So, has anyone else experienced the whole 'invisibility' dilemma that seems to happen around younger groups of people and/or people who just don't see you after a certain age? This has been a super annoying thing that is happening more and more as I approach 50. I'm going on 47 this year and it is just getting really icky annoying... I have even experienced it with butches that are my same age. I sometimes feel like a heterosexual woman dealing with man/woman issues, if that makes any sense at all. Anyways, I just wanted to throw it out there and see how everyone else is coping with getting older and the whole invisibility thing. I think it happens more to us femmes than butches because of the whole 'gender' thing too. I have noticed that it's totally attractive hip and cool for an older butch to be with a younger femme or be attracted and vice versa... like younger femmes seem to be totally attracted to older butches - maybe it's the whole daddy girl dynamic thingy. Anyways, I was at this social gathering talking in a group of people that were all close to my age and mixed (butches and femmes) and then these two young girls (in their 20's) show up and the butches just totally dismissed me and the other older femmes and started drooling and making little side flirty comments... it was like we were all of the sudden 'invisible'. It's hard enough getting old and dealing with the changes in our bodies, etc.. without this sort of behavior. Anyways, how do you all deal with this.

Just a little disclaimer... I'm in a relationship and am totally secure in it, I'm not single and I'm not looking, etc.. so, it wasn't like I was offended, but it did trigger some 'aging' issues within me.

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06-30-2010, 03:44 PM	#11
WickedFemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Very Happily Married to Bobbi46 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: where I want to be Posts: 313 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 355 Thanked 994 Times in 221 Posts Rep Power: 7014692	Hello lofters, I just need to 'rant' a bit... lol... So, has anyone else experienced the whole 'invisibility' dilemma that seems to happen around younger groups of people and/or people who just don't see you after a certain age? This has been a super annoying thing that is happening more and more as I approach 50. I'm going on 47 this year and it is just getting really icky annoying... I have even experienced it with butches that are my same age. I sometimes feel like a heterosexual woman dealing with man/woman issues, if that makes any sense at all. Anyways, I just wanted to throw it out there and see how everyone else is coping with getting older and the whole invisibility thing. I think it happens more to us femmes than butches because of the whole 'gender' thing too. I have noticed that it's totally attractive hip and cool for an older butch to be with a younger femme or be attracted and vice versa... like younger femmes seem to be totally attracted to older butches - maybe it's the whole daddy girl dynamic thingy. Anyways, I was at this social gathering talking in a group of people that were all close to my age and mixed (butches and femmes) and then these two young girls (in their 20's) show up and the butches just totally dismissed me and the other older femmes and started drooling and making little side flirty comments... it was like we were all of the sudden 'invisible'. It's hard enough getting old and dealing with the changes in our bodies, etc.. without this sort of behavior. Anyways, how do you all deal with this. Just a little disclaimer... I'm in a relationship and am totally secure in it, I'm not single and I'm not looking, etc.. so, it wasn't like I was offended, but it did trigger some 'aging' issues within me.