If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently?

[Scorp]

Hey Folks,

Thanks for sharing your stories. I think you're all pretty special with sharing some intimate stories about yourselves and what you would have done differently and I appreciate that.

Keep your posts coming. I'm enjoying reading them as I'm sure the next person is as well.

Be well.

[chefhmboyrd]

started T at 20
learned to play more instruments
had more sex...... (if that is possible)
scheduled more vacation with my family
drank less
never smoked
worked out more
recorded more songs

that is all for now

[Apocalipstic]

If I turned back time I would have to live the bad parts over, can't do it.

[Fancy]

“Regret for time wasted can become a power for good in the time that remains, if we will only stop the waste and the idle, useless regretting.”
~Arthur Brisbane

I would not turn back time. Everything in the past happened for a purpose, and changing variables would not create the same learning, the same experience, or the same bonds. If there are regrets, they are only in the mind. Mental torture and mental suicide. Instead, I choose to embrace acceptance for the balance and thankful for all experiences however they are perceived by me. I've experienced and continue to experience love, life, and hard lessons, and am grateful for each and every second that I can continue to grow and move forward in this wild chaotic ride of a short life on Earth.

“We do not live an equal life, but one of contrasts and patchwork; now a little joy, then a sorrow, now a sin, then a generous or brave action.”
~Emerson

[Gemme]

If you went back in time, it would be nearly impossible not to change something, whether that was your intent or not. So, for those afraid or leary of reliving some rough times, those times may not happen in that circumstance or they may happen differently. It would be adding chapters to your life that you were previously unaware of.

I think I would like to go back as long as I went back with one single thought seared into my brain: trust my instincts. As long as I had that in my head and remembered it when I needed to, I think I would be a similarly different person. I'd still be the same at my core, but referential experiences would be different.

Then again, I've always been a sucker for those adventure books that you can choose where the story is going to go next and, if you didn't like that, you could just go back to that page and choose another option. I like options. I've felt that, in large quantities of my life, I had none. So getting a redo and possibly having some is quite appealing to me.

[WolfyOne]

Personally I wouldn't turn back time to change a thing
Whatever happened then is my past and many lessons learned
If I was always able to turn back time, I'd never make a mistake
How the heck would I learn anything without mistakes
I have few regrets with many mistakes along the way
Life is one big lesson in learning and I'm still doing it today
I'm thankful for all those people, places and things that have touched me over time

I will however enjoy reading what others would have done if they could go back in time for a redo

[Rockinonahigh]

One thing I should have done in the past is take better care of me insted of busting my ass doing things for ppl who didnt appresheate it.Over the years I have given so many ppl in my life slack when they did things that were not good for me cause I was a ppl pleaser insted of seeing them for who and what they were befor it was to late...this caused me no end of self dislike for being such a push over.Now im a lot more careful and not as trusting as I once was...I really hate that I have lost a lot of trust I once had of ppl's objectives.I would like to think I can still trust folks and I do in reality its just I wonder when I let ppl into my life if they are going to use me for whatever thay want then..im nothing but an object to get the place they want to be or get.I hope that made some sence,well I did to me anyway..

[MrSunshine]

There was a time I would (I even had that as a wish in my profile) but now, no way. I wouldn't want to take the chance of having to re-live some of the shit I've lived through. Once was more than enough.

[Soft*Silver]

I would not have been sitting at that red light when the semi hit my car

I would not have drank Nov 11 2008

I would have moved to a warmer state but one that still had fall

I would have had one or two more children

I would have gone on for my PhD

[imperfect_cupcake]

this is a difficult question as I don't personally believe in regrets. If I honestly love who I am, I must the process of how I became me.

I honestly, hand over heart, have not regretted anything I ever did. I've been deeply sorry and realised my stupidity but I don't think I've done anything scarring enough.

I'd say "I wish I had been smarter about men and how they would take sexual advantage (rape); I wish I had told my parents about the abuse; I wish I had gone back to school earlier and I wish I had taken any of those job offers or offers to study at Berkley or in Madagascar; I wish I had gone to Guatemala right away instead of waiting for confirmation that never came for the job with the researchers (I found out later they had been waiting for me); I wish I had taken the job I was offered in Panama; I wish I had gone ahead with the position at the London Zoo instead of letting it go because it was minimum wage and just figured out a way to live."

I *could* say any of these things. But if I had changed just ONE of them my life would be *radically* different than it is now. And I've done amazing things, met fabulous people, lived/traveled to spectacular places and have a relationship with someone who gets me to the point I think this must be some "oops. sorry we screwed up the delivery of your life. Perhaps you've like a voucher for 'Best Soul Match Possible' as you are a valued customer and we want you coming back."

I don't really think I *want* to change anything. I'm fucked off about my career, yes. deeply. But I really think the rest of my life has been mind blowing so far. And There's more adventure to come Whoop!

I'm trying to fix that career problem. It's taking far longer than expected, but eventually, I'll get there.

Maybe I can work for some of my dad's students when I graduate (again...). The debt I'll have will be passed on through generations, but oh well.

The best thing to remember, and it's utterly true, is: You won't regret the things you have done, you'll regret the things you haven't done (AKA it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done).

Don't stop yourself, go get it. even if you will be dirt poor, lose your sense of security, leave your family and friends, you only get this one tiny tiny short life. that's it. So go. And when ever possible, give most of your shit away. there will always be more crap.

I may have given away a 1940's hardwood vanity with giganto circular mirror with a brocade covered stool with a drawer in it. But at the moment I'm using a cloth covered box, a folding wooden tv table with an apple crate on it and a little plug in light mirror. It works good enough. WTF would I do with good furniture? I move around too much. I need the money for other things.

No. I would be too freaked out about if I had done anything differently. perhaps I should let my mom and dad know how much I love them a bit more before I wish I had done that.

Perhaps I'm not understanding the question?

[Scorp]

Hey HB, LTNS...Hope you've been well.

And nope, you understood the question perfectly.

Thanks for your response.

Be well darlin'

-S

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

this is a difficult question as I don't personally believe in regrets. If I honestly love who I am, I must the process of how I became me.

I honestly, hand over heart, have not regretted anything I ever did. I've been deeply sorry and realised my stupidity but I don't think I've done anything scarring enough.

I'd say "I wish I had been smarter about men and how they would take sexual advantage (rape); I wish I had told my parents about the abuse; I wish I had gone back to school earlier and I wish I had taken any of those job offers or offers to study at Berkley or in Madagascar; I wish I had gone to Guatemala right away instead of waiting for confirmation that never came for the job with the researchers (I found out later they had been waiting for me); I wish I had taken the job I was offered in Panama; I wish I had gone ahead with the position at the London Zoo instead of letting it go because it was minimum wage and just figured out a way to live."

I *could* say any of these things. But if I had changed just ONE of them my life would be *radically* different than it is now. And I've done amazing things, met fabulous people, lived/traveled to spectacular places and have a relationship with someone who gets me to the point I think this must be some "oops. sorry we screwed up the delivery of your life. Perhaps you've like a voucher for 'Best Soul Match Possible' as you are a valued customer and we want you coming back."

I don't really think I *want* to change anything. I'm fucked off about my career, yes. deeply. But I really think the rest of my life has been mind blowing so far. And There's more adventure to come Whoop!

I'm trying to fix that career problem. It's taking far longer than expected, but eventually, I'll get there.

Maybe I can work for some of my dad's students when I graduate (again...). The debt I'll have will be passed on through generations, but oh well.

The best thing to remember, and it's utterly true, is: You won't regret the things you have done, you'll regret the things you haven't done (AKA it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done).

Don't stop yourself, go get it. even if you will be dirt poor, lose your sense of security, leave your family and friends, you only get this one tiny tiny short life. that's it. So go. And when ever possible, give most of your shit away. there will always be more crap.

I may have given away a 1940's hardwood vanity with giganto circular mirror with a brocade covered stool with a drawer in it. But at the moment I'm using a cloth covered box, a folding wooden tv table with an apple crate on it and a little plug in light mirror. It works good enough. WTF would I do with good furniture? I move around too much. I need the money for other things.

No. I would be too freaked out about if I had done anything differently. perhaps I should let my mom and dad know how much I love them a bit more before I wish I had done that.

Perhaps I'm not understanding the question?

[Jet]

There's a book I never should have read.

[Duchess]

I would have given my grandparents the attention they deserved instead of giving in to my teenage selfishness.

[Isadora]

Not much of anything. I would keep it the same. I have learned a great deal from my mistakes: how to say no, how to set boundaries, how to recognize dishonourable people, how to discern those who have great ethics and those who do not and most importantly how to love someone with my whole heart unconditionally. I was never a great believer in unconditional love. Hy showed it to me. A great role model. If I turned back the hard times, I would not have this amazing devotion and love now.

[Amber2010]

This question is such a hard one because all the mistakes we made is what made me who I am today.
I believe I would have lived my life more for myself and tried to be a little more selfish instead of always giving in to everyone.
The times that I had enough of my life and got in my car and took off north instead of turning around and coming back I would have liked to have kept going and seen what my life would have been like if I lived it for myself.

[Scuba]

...not have left my dog at the kennel....I'd give anything to undo this.

[LaneyDoll]

I would have forgiven faster and angered slower.

I would have stood up to my mom's family more often and let go when the time was due, rather than sulk/brood over the choices they made about me.

I would have used the nice china and celebrated each dinner that my family shared together.

I would have cleaned less and relaxed more.

I would have tried to put myself more in the path that hurt my sister and I would have let go because of realizing that there was no way to do it.

I would have done things to better "me." I cannot complain about my life because I happen to think my life is pretty good.

[Duchess]

I would have my grandfather get a second opinion.

[bright_arrow]

If I could turn back time..

I would have left an emotionally abusive relationship sooner, and on my own grounds, face to face. With that said, I would not have tried a second time to repair it.

I would take back the things I said to her in fear to push you away.

I would not sacrifice my home, family, and job for what turned out to be nothing but another notch in her belt.

I never would have gone to her house over spring break, thus meaning I never would of ODed and ended in the ER.

I would tell my newly outed gay self that I did not have to save every 'damsel in distress', and that my happiness was important just as much as my partner's. I did not have to change to be loved, that no one was worth the hurt of any temporary changes attempted.

I would tell my younger self that communication is important. I grew up in a household where looks and thinly veiled threats communicated feelings, especially anger, and to this day there are days where all my cues are physical, none verbal.

[torchiegirl]

*with the notion that change is good:

To have found such vigor for learning sooner in life would have been super! Who knows what doors may have opened, presuming they would have led to something "good", some degree of self actualization or invited insanity.

And a new beginning awaits...

...so it is quite possible that I may have ended up right here, where I am now, and I'd rather be no other place.

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