The Mythical *Pass* for Differently-Abled People

[christie]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

I appreciate you giving this example. There are totally days that I am not in good form and misread. There are days I don't have my loved ones to read my posts first.

That was one of those days. I would hope that you would give that consideration to anyone. Not just me. Because anyone can misread and pop off.

So no, I don't think that was you giving me a poss. That is not what I am talking about when I say a pass and I think that is where people are getting confused.

Had you taken the time and effort to explain the intent to me, and had I continued coming in and insisting that my interpretation was correct, and kept popping off shitty things? And not been held accountable (reported, pm'd, told in public or whatever) then that where it becomes something I'd call a pass.

Clarifying ones point and clearing up a misunderstood intent is NOT giving a pass. I also truly hate to think that I got special treatment that you would not give the next person. I hope I am not being rude by saying that I can only remember as reading you patiently explain you point when others don't get it.

It's also a grayer area in the example that you gave because I don't think any rules were broken per se. I think that I was not thoughtful in reading the OP and rude in my reply. Now if I had come in and said: This is stupid. I think you're an asshole" would you have taken the same approach? What if I had continued? I would really hope that you would report me.

So in short, no I don't think you gave me a pass. That is not at all what I meant by giving a pass.

I hope this post gives a better feel for what I am trying to say?

I would like to think that most days, I give most people that same consideration.

I do think, however, that its a conditioned response based on parenting a DA child. I know that I have had to learn HOW to be that patient and compassionate. I know that not everyone has that skill set, especially NTs - they (at least the ones in my experience) have no reason to - until they do.

If you had continued a negative rant, I would probably have PM'd you and asked what the fuck your issue was. (How's that for my compassion LOL) I rarely report posts because, at the end of the day, I really do apply that 3F rule (if you dont fuck me, feed me (emotionally or sustenance) or finance me, you really dont have any influence in my life and I try to let it go quickly)

I dont think the answer to the mythical pass is to report posts. I think reporting is a tool - one of many and I think sometimes we are far too quick to hit that button rather than challenge ourselves to find that wave of communication that is mutual and brings understanding.

While we agree that no "rules" were broken, I didnt realize that you were only speaking of the "pass" specifically in rules/TOS terms. To me, the unspoken/unwritten "rules" are much more likely to be broken than the ones that have been clearly stated. I have found that my son (and other DAs) have more issue with the unspoken expectations of socialization far more often than the ones they know about.

Does it make sense that to me, the unspoken social skills/expectations about behaviors and interactions are more problematic than what is covered in the TOS?