The Ethics of Closets and Outings

[Nat]

Originally Posted by julieisafemme

I have a huge problem with the word authenticity in these discussions. Who is to say if someone is living authentically? Really!

I also see this issue as far as gender and transition outing. That has been a very unpleasant experience for Greyson and I. Is a transman or woman not living authentically if they do not disclose their transition?

Unless someone is an elected official who is voting to deny me civil rights or protections they should not be outed. Period.

I almost said in the first post that this thread was not intended to discuss gender but rather to discuss orientation - but then I felt that would limit the conversation overly much. So I'm wondering - since you brought up gender outing - do you see a difference between gender outing and orientation outing?

[Maria]

Originally Posted by Nat

I almost said in the first post that this thread was not intended to discuss gender but rather to discuss orientation - but then I felt that would limit the conversation overly much. So I'm wondering - since you brought up gender outing - do you see a difference between gender outing and orientation outing?

I have mixed feelings about orientation outing and pretty much agree with Toughy in that respect. With regard to gender outing, however, I strongly believe it is never my place to do so.

[julieisafemme]

Originally Posted by Nat

I almost said in the first post that this thread was not intended to discuss gender but rather to discuss orientation - but then I felt that would limit the conversation overly much. So I'm wondering - since you brought up gender outing - do you see a difference between gender outing and orientation outing?

Yes I do from my own experience. The people in my life have had a far easier time dealing with my coming out about my orientation rather than the gender of my partner. He was outed by others. It was unpleasant.

I guess in my experience being queer is more accepted than being transgendered.

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by julieisafemme

Yes I do from my own experience. The people in my life have had a far easier time dealing with my coming out about my orientation rather than the gender of my partner. He was outed by others. It was unpleasant.

I guess in my experience being queer is more accepted than being transgendered.

For those of you that may be interested, it was never my intention to stay in the closet permanently regarding my gender. A mean spirited person that believed his outing me would bring shame and harm to myself and Julie began a campaign of telling all of their mutual friends, family, and community about my Trans status. He was wrong to believe I hold any shame about who I am. I have been out, always. However, in meeting my gf's family and friends who are primarily heterosexual, middle class, white, and "Clueless Berkeley Liberals," my preference was to tell them about my gender when I chose to tell them. Alas, cheap gossip was the mode of my gender "outing."