Getting Rid of Flippant Language : Check Yourselves Here

[WolfyOne]

Great topic Medusa. I'm not usually one to use words that hurt others intentionally and rarely swear unless quite angry and provoked at that time. I wasn't raised around it and think there is little use for those words. I will say there is one word that will get me riled up in a heart beat and I will go off on the person that uses it around me. That word would be cunt and writing it here doesn't make me feel good, but if I didn't, you wouldn't know the word.

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

Great topic Medusa. I'm not usually one to use words that hurt others intentionally and rarely swear unless quite angry and provoked at that time. I wasn't raised around it and think there is little use for those words. I will say there is one word that will get me riled up in a heart beat and I will go off on the person that uses it around me. That word would be cunt and writing it here doesn't make me feel good, but if I didn't, you wouldn't know the word.

This word brings me to rage! I have a bad history related to hearing it and being called this word in a debilitating time of my life.

[friskyfemme]

Okay here is my 'offended by words' list.
(any word that slangs race, geographic orgin, religious belief or intellectual level / capacity, physical or mental disorders), asshole, bastard, bitch, cunt, fuck(er,'MF'), slut,
whore.

These are words heard/read recently. Most within this site. If you are willing to be educated and wish to be respectful take heed of what others feel/perceive as hurtful/offensive.

[Nat]

I did have a guy ask me not to use the word "bastard" because he was born without a dad and that word hurt him every single time he heard it. I managed to never use the word around him, but occasionally it still slips out. But then I think of him and regret saying it.

Words can hurt and I am more and more aware of that the older I get. I try to be respectful.

[AtLast]

[QUOTE=June;128651]Frisky. You just took away most of my vocabulary. Can you explain why asshole, fucker, bitch, cunt are problematic to you?

I get Bastard, (I still use it for special folks in my life) because of the origins of the word. Technically, my son is one because he was born out of wedlock 8^O however, when I used it, it has no reflection on the original meaning.

We have the capabilities with this software to make **** appear when people type certain words, but I wonder if that would be taking censorship too far?

For me, context means a lot:


QUOTE]



I find cunt extremely offensive, personally. Then, again, I don't much like any slang for female or male reproductive/sexual body parts. Just don't. On a website, however, I expect to see them used and I wouldn't react to usage overall, unless used to directly cut a person down (any person) or in a sexist manner. CONTEXT really does say a lot!!

I don't use foul language much in real-time. Just don't and I don't really have any kind of reason for this. Sure, If I whack a thumb with a hammer, f-u-c-k does come out of my mouth.

I also know that in my background, there was an unwritten code not to sound like the daughter of an uneducated immigrant garbage man... because that is what people expected of us.

Guess, I just try to understand what someone else migfht be feeling about certain terms and not use them here if they let me know it is offensive to them.

The key word for me in the title of the thread is flippant.... sometimes flippant gets old.

[Nat]

I curse like a sailor and I think part of that for me is the feeling of liberation from the good girl mold I still feel pressured to fit into.

But I think I'm gonna give up the foul language.

As I grow older, I am realizing that (for me) there is a correlation between respectful behavior and self-respect.

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by Nat

I curse like a sailor and I think part of that for me is the feeling of liberation from the good girl mold I still feel pressured to fit into.

But I think I'm gonna give up the foul language.

As I grow older, I am realizing that (for me) there is a correlation between respectful behavior and self-respect.

I agree with you, Nat. I actually used most of the words I listed I find offensive before I became a mom over 40 yrs ago. It was somehow liberating and empowering for me too.

However, I finally realized, I was judged by how I expressed myself. I didn't want to pass that on to my kids. My own mom's strongest cuss words are 'shit and hell'. If she was that mad we knew to 'straighten up'.

Thanks for sharing.

[Nat]

I'm also trying to become more aware of my own able-ist language (metaphorical uses of blindness, hearing, standing, etc), and I'm trying separate/balance my moral and spiritual ideas from the concepts of light and dark because I think the correlation of lightness and whiteness with goodness and the correlation of darkness and blackness with evil or badness contribute (to some extent) to unconsciously perpetuated racism.

It's hard because both of these tendencies are built on a lifetime of interrelated, built-upon thoughts which are very much culturally re-enforced.

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by June

Frisky. You just took away most of my vocabulary. Can you explain why asshole, fucker, bitch, cunt are problematic to you?

I get Bastard, (I still use it for special folks in my life) because of the origins of the word. Technically, my son is one because he was born out of wedlock 8^O however, when I used it, it has no reflection on the original meaning.

We have the capabilities with this software to make **** appear when people type certain words, but I wonder if that would be taking censorship too far?

For me, context means a lot:

That X, she's a real cunt <--- Bad
My cunt itches <--- Vulgar, but not offensive (for me)

I'd be very interested in hearing your thoughts on this

Ok, Here goes! Let me preface my response by saying all of these words have been directed toward me and my siblings in childhood by my father. Let's just say they weren't words of endearment. However, I have conditioned myself not to assume it is an intentional slur unless I have said so. I let others fight their own battles. But, I think awareness and intention are the keys for any social exchange. As in any situation, majority rules and the minority 'suck it up'. Determining which is which is the key!

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by June

I do think it is fair to say that the "Majority Rules" when it comes to language on a site like this. For instance, if I was participating in a Theological site, or one geared towards parents or the participants were there primarily for support for illness, etc., I would think that we would all participate in a much different way. For me, when I am participating on this site, I often think of us as sitting at my table, and in real life, I am sometimes profane and even, vulgar. I do not however, think it's okay to use them against someone as a slur, here.

Hugs June,

The moderators and the members on this site do a good job of keeping things in check.
It is difficult sometimes to determine who is the majority because the one that is most vocal is often thought of as speaking for the majority if no one challenges them. If something is distasteful, hurtful, or a slur to someone, that person may not feel comfortable speaking up. So it goes.

[MsDemeanor]

I've developed a fondness for "asshat", which I often spell as "a$$hat" to bypass the profanity filters on some sites.

*wonders if a$$hat is offensive to milliners*

[Gemme]

I feel comfortable expressing myself in this medium as I see fit. As a result of that level of comfort, I often use profanity. Would I use that same profanity in the company of someone's grandmother? Um, no. Would I curse more if I were in the company of a bunch of sailors? No. If I were in a person's living room and I knew that s/he hated or had issues with a particular curse word, I would do my very best to avoid saying it. In someone else's world, I adapt. When someone is in my environment, I expect them to adapt to my preferences. If they can't, and it bothers me that much, then I am perfectly able and willing to show them the door.

In this medium, we're such a lovely mishmash of identities, genders, creeds, etc that it's like blending something in the blender. You have all of what you put into it, but the final result is something different, in all aspects. We all have to have a level of tolerance and acceptance when we log on here because some days we are the cursers and some days we are the squeaky cleans and those days can flip flop mighty quick.