For those who self-injurer

swagger · 11-25-2010, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

lol yup.. it's not something people are used to hearing and especially from people like me who look pretty normal... we all have our stuff to deal with.

Normal how? A guy I know told me hit and that he thought it more "manly" than cutting. More of a male response. For me it is fast enraged violence without planning. When I cut, it was always because I *wanted* to cut. I have never, ever wanted to punch myself hard in the head and throat.

girl_dee · 11-25-2010, 06:03 AM

Normal = a girl who looks like she has got it together and pretty happy with herself..

Not someone who in a fit of self hate or an emotional snap will yank her hair out and take a hammer to her arm. I am WAY better now but there was a day.. a sad dark time when it was bad.. I don't remember a time when I didn't use a punch or cut to make me feel better. I can be sitting in a restaraunt with friends, suddenly a feeling comes over me, off to the bathroom I go.. punch, pinch, yank, hit... all better.. no one would ever guess.

Being an endorphin junkie I tend to do other things to bring that feeling but in a more controlled setting.. its the spur of the moment fits that are the hard ones.

Tcountry · 03-07-2011, 02:46 AM

Thanks! I have read the whole thread & found interesting the different actions & reasons...
I have been an emotional cutter (when things get all jumbled & u can't think or feel anything anymore & ur just numb to the world) cutting makes me focus on one emotion/pain...I have recently made a playlist of songs I know make me cry...thinking next time I can play those songs & that will bring the sad/tears & I won't want to cut.
Hopefully finding a different way to cure the numbness...
I think the hardest thing to hear is someone I am in a relationship with say she doesn't want me to cut "because of me"...like if we have a fight or something...the smartass response would be, well then don't continue to yell at me...lol ...cause if you stopped yelling & observed u would see the breaking point...

Advise for anyone in a relationship with a salf harmer...talk to them about what their triggers/reasons are...& listen, really listen to words & body language...& be willing to stand by them when it does happen...cause it is really hard to stop & they don't need yet another person telling them how wrong or unhealthy it is...

Thanks, T.

DomnNC · 03-07-2011, 10:13 AM

Hi Ya'll,

First off let me say how brave each and every one of you are for sharing your stories. I used to have a friend who was very much into self-harm, self-injury. I found a website where they actually have a chat room where you can talk to people who are indeed going thru the same thing ya'll do. Most often the chat room is manned with a counselor as well. I thought maybe some of you might find some solace, peace and strength discussing your lives with people who are living with the same issue(s) you are. Here's the link for the chat room portal.

http://www.buschat.info/dokuwiki/

Here's a few more websites that have a lot of good information as well.

http://selfharm.org/

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm

http://www.selfinjury.com/

Good luck to you all and again thank you for the vast courage you have shown by posting your story!

proximitywithoutintimacy · 03-07-2011, 11:18 AM

I didn't even know this thread existed...

There are those who think that, I don't understand addiction because I've never had one. The truth is, cutting... can be just as addicting as any drug - especially when one is trying to quit, and the craving can be extremely intense.

I did a number on myself on my 22nd birthday, and I made a promise to myself I never would again... it was almost two years before I gave in again. But, now it's been three months (I think) and I'm going to make another commitment to myself, because quitting for ME is the most important thing.

Thank you for allowing me to share; everyone here is so warm, I feel confident I will not be judged - but rather, accepted.

girl_dee · 03-07-2011, 11:41 AM

Thank you for the info here. I am learning that no matter what, the *urge* never goes away. Dealing with it is what is different.

proximitywithoutintimacy · 03-07-2011, 12:05 PM

I have replaced it with crying... which, I actually got accused of trying to make people feel guilty.

I would rather cry to get it out, than crawl back into the sick comfort of a blade on my skin.

03-07-2011, 02:46 AM	#3
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Thanks! I have read the whole thread & found interesting the different actions & reasons... I have been an emotional cutter (when things get all jumbled & u can't think or feel anything anymore & ur just numb to the world) cutting makes me focus on one emotion/pain...I have recently made a playlist of songs I know make me cry...thinking next time I can play those songs & that will bring the sad/tears & I won't want to cut. Hopefully finding a different way to cure the numbness... I think the hardest thing to hear is someone I am in a relationship with say she doesn't want me to cut "because of me"...like if we have a fight or something...the smartass response would be, well then don't continue to yell at me...lol ...cause if you stopped yelling & observed u would see the breaking point... Advise for anyone in a relationship with a salf harmer...talk to them about what their triggers/reasons are...& listen, really listen to words & body language...& be willing to stand by them when it does happen...cause it is really hard to stop & they don't need yet another person telling them how wrong or unhealthy it is... Thanks, T. __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

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11-25-2010, 06:03 AM	#2
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Normal = a girl who looks like she has got it together and pretty happy with herself.. Not someone who in a fit of self hate or an emotional snap will yank her hair out and take a hammer to her arm. I am WAY better now but there was a day.. a sad dark time when it was bad.. I don't remember a time when I didn't use a punch or cut to make me feel better. I can be sitting in a restaraunt with friends, suddenly a feeling comes over me, off to the bathroom I go.. punch, pinch, yank, hit... all better.. no one would ever guess. Being an endorphin junkie I tend to do other things to bring that feeling but in a more controlled setting.. its the spur of the moment fits that are the hard ones.

03-07-2011, 10:13 AM	#4
DomnNC Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Widow Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Permanently Banned 11/15/2011 Posts: 1,223 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,618 Thanked 2,582 Times in 837 Posts Rep Power: 0	Hi Ya'll, First off let me say how brave each and every one of you are for sharing your stories. I used to have a friend who was very much into self-harm, self-injury. I found a website where they actually have a chat room where you can talk to people who are indeed going thru the same thing ya'll do. Most often the chat room is manned with a counselor as well. I thought maybe some of you might find some solace, peace and strength discussing your lives with people who are living with the same issue(s) you are. Here's the link for the chat room portal. http://www.buschat.info/dokuwiki/ Here's a few more websites that have a lot of good information as well. http://selfharm.org/ http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm http://www.selfinjury.com/ Good luck to you all and again thank you for the vast courage you have shown by posting your story!

03-07-2011, 11:18 AM	#5
proximitywithoutintimacy Member How Do You Identify?: Rocker Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: That One Girl ;) Relationship Status: Putting My Heart Back Together Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: USA Posts: 175 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 141 Thanked 290 Times in 106 Posts Rep Power: 670282	I didn't even know this thread existed... There are those who think that, I don't understand addiction because I've never had one. The truth is, cutting... can be just as addicting as any drug - especially when one is trying to quit, and the craving can be extremely intense. I did a number on myself on my 22nd birthday, and I made a promise to myself I never would again... it was almost two years before I gave in again. But, now it's been three months (I think) and I'm going to make another commitment to myself, because quitting for ME is the most important thing. Thank you for allowing me to share; everyone here is so warm, I feel confident I will not be judged - but rather, accepted.

03-07-2011, 11:41 AM	#6
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Thank you for the info here. I am learning that no matter what, the urge never goes away. Dealing with it is what is different.

03-07-2011, 12:05 PM	#7
proximitywithoutintimacy Member How Do You Identify?: Rocker Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: That One Girl ;) Relationship Status: Putting My Heart Back Together Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: USA Posts: 175 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 141 Thanked 290 Times in 106 Posts Rep Power: 670282	I have replaced it with crying... which, I actually got accused of trying to make people feel guilty. I would rather cry to get it out, than crawl back into the sick comfort of a blade on my skin.