For those who self-injurer

[Apocalipstic]

When I am extremely stressed I pull my eyelashes out, and sometimes I hit myself in the head.

Yeay.

[Strappie]

I was good friends with a girl in high school who was a cutter... I wish there was something I could have done to help her. I felt helpless, she wouldn't talk about it much if hardly at all. I even went to the school counselor to ask for advise in how to understand it and maybe some how help her. I didn't know anything about it, I was so amazed that someone could do such a thing. I mean I came from a very small town. It was 27 yrs ago and I graduated with 38 people so it was a very small community that was very should I say closed minded or was it just because people just went along with other people. I see her now and I know she is thankful for me being there for her, I still wonder how she is doing with it all? I wonder if she is thinking if I will ever ask her about it? Is it something I should be asking about?

I pray for all that suffer from this!!

[Ms. Meander]

"On my once smooth skin lies a map of pain and fear..." - so goes the opening line of an angsty poem I wrote many years ago.

I used to cut and have since healed the internal wounds that caused me to injure myself on the outside. I will always be a work in progress but I am proud of myself today and like who I see in the mirror. It IS possible to heal, grow, and change. The keys for me have always been to retain at least some small measure of hope, and to be willing to keep picking myself up again and again, however many times necessary. There ARE amazing rewards and it is worth the blood, sweat, and tears.

There is an organization called 'To Write Love On Her Arms' that inspired a pic I posted in the gallery. See photo info. for a link to the site.

[PearlsNLace]

As a young kid I use to pull out large chunks of my hair out. In retrospect, I understand I was seriously needing some kind of release, I was literally pulling my hair out from serious stress.

Its never been an issue as an adult.

[Jeep]

Since I'm in my tired-half-drunk-can't-fall-asleep mode I figured I'd spill it.. Been cutting for a little over 9 years, and recently discovered the burning aspect of SI.
I've been single for 4 1/2 years since the last person I dated was apalled when she saw me in a tank top. Both of my arms and most of my chest are covered in solid scar tissue and I have some nasty ones on both thighs.
Sometimes I get so angry and/or hurt I just cant keep it inside anymore and I have to let it out somehow.
Since my friends are all the type of people who believe you can make your liife all sunshine and rainbows just by thinking about it, I can't turn to them. I once called my closest friend to try to talk to her and she just laughed.
I hate being around people because all the places I go, I'm the only one who's single. And sincce I'm not very good at making friends I tend to hang around the ones I do have. Besides, having 3 jobs is not conducive to an active social life.
I cannot say no to people. I already had 2 jobs and I agreed to a 3rd because I felt like I owed it to my neighbor. He has been very kind and gone out of his way for me in the past, so I agreed to drive his wife to the Dr. every day. My other jobs the hours are flexible but I am not accomplishing as much as I was because I can't be there as long as I was before I had to take her.

I'm terribly sorry. I've started rambling.. I think I'm gonna go look at the stars for a while and quit buggin ya'll.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Jeep,

First, thanks for sharing your story with us. This place is safe.

Second, you are very brave to do that. God bless you.

Lastly, no worries about venting. It is a means of support here. Not a soul is going to belittle you. What you speak of so many are struggling with. We are here to support you as best we can. I know I will be praying for you.

Namaste dear brother,
Andrew

[Liquefaction]

Jeep... I understand the need to keep to yourself. I just lost a very dear friendship because of my cutting.

Just know that there are people out here that understand.

[swagger]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

When I am extremely stressed I pull my eyelashes out, and sometimes I hit myself in the head.

Yeay.

I hit.. It took me by surprise. I'd cut before, that started when I was 16 and the last time was in 2007 I think. My now ex called me a liar and I carved that word into my arm with a razor blade. The hitting, slapping, punching happened violently and unexpectedly when I was under extreme stress and extremely distressed. Talk about beating oneself up...... (Hell yeah I'm in therapy).

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by swagger

I hit.. It took me by surprise. I'd cut before, that started when I was 16 and the last time was in 2007 I think. My now ex called me a liar and I carved that word into my arm with a razor blade. The hitting, slapping, punching happened violently and unexpectedly when I was under extreme stress and extremely distressed. Talk about beating oneself up...... (Hell yeah I'm in therapy).

I am in therapy too and it seems to be helping. My psychiatrist said to hit myself in the shoulder, not the head if I must hit myself...which makes sense.

Ive been so stressed lately my hair is actually falling out, instead of me pulling it. Creepy. Maybe becasue I pull it so tight ina bun my head hurts.

I have been doing better about hitting myself, onlyonce recently, but I think about it and my eyelashes are grown back.

[swagger]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I am in therapy too and it seems to be helping. My psychiatrist said to hit myself in the shoulder, not the head if I must hit myself...which makes sense.

Ive been so stressed lately my hair is actually falling out, instead of me pulling it. Creepy. Maybe becasue I pull it so tight ina bun my head hurts.

I have been doing better about hitting myself, onlyonce recently, but I think about it and my eyelashes are grown back.

my shrink [and by shrink i mean psychologist, in south africa, psychiatry is expensive and most of our qualified ones leave the country] said try to open your hands, think of comforting yourself, holding your head instead. i don't have time to think though, it's always out of the bloody blue. *pow* one time, i punched my throat repeatedly. not cool, so not cool. there might be a break of a few months between bouts [lool, bouts like boxing..] or it could be all too frequent.

well done for stopping the eyelashes thing, that's really great.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by swagger

my shrink [and by shrink i mean psychologist, in south africa, psychiatry is expensive and most of our qualified ones leave the country] said try to open your hands, think of comforting yourself, holding your head instead. i don't have time to think though, it's always out of the bloody blue. *pow* one time, i punched my throat repeatedly. not cool, so not cool. there might be a break of a few months between bouts [lool, bouts like boxing..] or it could be all too frequent.

well done for stopping the eyelashes thing, that's really great.

yup i get this.. spur of the moment knee-jerk reaction to an intense emotion.. bang its done, all better.

[swagger]

Thanks for saying that, I'm far more used to peoples' eyes widening in horror...

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by swagger

Thanks for saying that, I'm far more used to peoples' eyes widening in horror...

lol yup.. it's not something people are used to hearing and especially from people like me who look pretty normal... we all have our stuff to deal with.