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Old 12-14-2010, 12:37 AM   #1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amiyesiam View Post
Me: Lard and butter aren't the same thing
Corkey: Lards not a spice either
Butter...lard...it all goes directly to my hips and tush without stopping or collecting $200.
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Old 01-25-2011, 12:17 AM   #2
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Talking

We're sitting watching some show on Net Flix.. Some guy is talking affectionaly about a girl, I say:

S- oh, she must be his Ray of sunshine huh?

G- yeah, you're mine

S- as he says this I'm rubbing his head singing to him "on a cloudy day" then i'm like " I am?"

G- Well no, you're more like a spot light..

S- you think so..... ?
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Old 01-25-2011, 12:34 AM   #3
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Talking LOL

A man was watching television, switching back and forth between two channels; one being the fishing channel and the other an adult movie channel.

A short time later the husband's wife got tired of him switching the channel back and forth so she made a comment: "For crying out loud! Pick one already! You already know how to fish!"
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Old 01-30-2011, 01:50 PM   #4
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Arrow

We're all groovin' smokin' and chillin listening to some ol' tunes and "Jealous Guy" comes on.. The whistling part is coming so I can't whistle never have been able to comes on..

Me: making some screeching noise

Grant: looks over his shoulder

Son:

Me: I am so jealous!! I can't whistle

Son: lemme see

Me: *gurgle screech *

Grant:

Me: looking at Grant all whiney now: I can't roll my fucking tongue either, everyone else can

Grant: like how?

Me: making odd faces, looking ridiculous

Grant:

Son: WTF?

Me: See if you can, and at first he "can't"

Son: "like this" and successfully his tongue looks like a lil taco

Me: FUCK

Grant: still nothing so I clap giddily cause I don't feel left out

Son: "no like this" does it AGAIN successfully

Grant: "Oh like this" and does it without a thought

Me: "Fuck you"

Grant: then laughs

Son: laughs and keeps tongue rolled
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Last edited by The_Lady_Snow; 01-30-2011 at 01:51 PM. Reason: boys
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Old 01-31-2011, 09:57 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow View Post
We're all groovin' smokin' and chillin listening to some ol' tunes and "Jealous Guy" comes on.. The whistling part is coming so I can't whistle never have been able to comes on..

Me: making some screeching noise

Grant: looks over his shoulder

Son:

Me: I am so jealous!! I can't whistle

Son: lemme see

Me: *gurgle screech *

Grant:

Me: looking at Grant all whiney now: I can't roll my fucking tongue either, everyone else can

Grant: like how?

Me: making odd faces, looking ridiculous

Grant:

Son: WTF?

Me: See if you can, and at first he "can't"

Son: "like this" and successfully his tongue looks like a lil taco

Me: FUCK

Grant: still nothing so I clap giddily cause I don't feel left out

Son: "no like this" does it AGAIN successfully

Grant: "Oh like this" and does it without a thought

Me: "Fuck you"

Grant: then laughs

Son: laughs and keeps tongue rolled
The tongue shaping stuff is genetic. Either you have the gene or not.

I'll try to remember not to whistle when I'm around you.

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Old 02-07-2011, 01:04 AM   #6
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Lightbulb

In bed talking about animal morphing abilities:

Grant: Snake!

Me: (making rattling noise) at least i'd warn ya before death

Him: yes i know (while either stroking my hair or plotting escape)

Me: i could of picked a cobra and killed you silently (while making sound)

Him: you make the best animal sounds

Me: I know!! *tee hee*

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Old 02-14-2011, 08:21 PM   #7
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Nick says:
maryland is THIS close to passing same-sex marriage
Brandy says:
that's why they call it Mary Land
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Old 05-21-2011, 10:54 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
The tongue shaping stuff is genetic. Either you have the gene or not.

I'll try to remember not to whistle when I'm around you.

I'll try to remember too. But I most likely will forget because I enjoy whistling.
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Old 05-22-2011, 10:23 AM   #9
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On my lunch break at work last night I went to Burger King (because it's right next door) to get an iced coffee. I ran into a coworker there.

Coworker: HEY HEY HEY! Good to see you! I guess this means we both got Raptured!
Me: Yeah, cuz I'm sure there's fucking Burger King in heaven. F'real.
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