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#1 | |
Infamous Member
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Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009
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"Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them".
~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee) |
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#2 |
Junior Member
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Poly & D/s Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Vancouver
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I was standing at a bus stop one day and two guys walk by. One of them said "Did you know cum is nutritious?" the other guy said in this awkward tone "Yep."
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The only thing I learned from the tooth fairy is that I can sell my body parts for money. |
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#3 |
Senior Member
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Tonight at work:
Coworker 1: Holy shit, would you listen to that wind? Coworker 2: I don't think it's the wind. Coworker 1: Then what is it? Coworker 2: Chainsaw? Me: Well that's fantastic. Not only do I have to wade through snowbanks on my way home but NOW I have to worry about a serial killer? Coworker 1: I can give you a ride home tonight. Coworker 2: Heroic!
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bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.
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#4 |
Senior Member
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single Join Date: Dec 2009
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![]() A year from now you will wish that you started today~Karen Lamb |
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#5 |
Infamous Member
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Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Where I want to be
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__________________
"Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them".
~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee) |
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#6 |
Senior Member
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Maow Relationship Status:
Married Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: The Chemical Valley
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Thanked 8,741 Times in 2,566 Posts
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Also at work.
(A coworker is studying for an anatomy exam.) Female Coworker: Do you know where your epididymis is? Male Coworker: I really don't want to talk about my balls right now.
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bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.
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#7 | |
Practically Lives Here
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She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
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#8 |
MILLION $$$ PUSSY
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Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
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We're sitting watching some show on Net Flix.. Some guy is talking affectionaly about a girl, I say:
S- oh, she must be his Ray of sunshine huh? G- yeah, you're mine S- as he says this I'm rubbing his head singing to him "on a cloudy day" then i'm like " I am?" G- Well no, you're more like a spot light.. S- ![]()
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"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden ![]() ![]() |
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#9 |
Senior Member
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A man was watching television, switching back and forth between two channels; one being the fishing channel and the other an adult movie channel.
A short time later the husband's wife got tired of him switching the channel back and forth so she made a comment: "For crying out loud! Pick one already! You already know how to fish!"
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To forgive is to set the prisoner free, And then discover the prisoner was you. |
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