StepMonsters and other scary second parenting issues

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Tcountry

Not sure I am fully ready to share...but here goes nothing...
First...(not bragging, just saying) I have great parents. They married young, raised us well & are still happy & very much in love to this day. (i wanna be like them) I learned a lot from them.
That said...I have been a part of a parenting team.
I say team because 1) I was not considered a "parent" & 2) the girls' mother was in the same house & their father in the same town...
BUT...
The biggest thing I learned was BE CONSISTENT...not only you but as a team with the other parent. Have the same consequences...follow through with them...& if you don't like something your partner did, discuss it in private afterwards(change it next time, don't second guess them in front if the kids).

There is a reason why after 7 yrs we are not together...& there is a reason why whenever I actually get time with the girls they still listen to me. Lol
.......that is enough for now.......or too much....but, yeah
Some things we learn the hard way

Thank you for sharing.

I had my kids during a marriage and in that marriage I was the one that made the decisions and took physical and emotional care of them. I didn't trust the other parent to do so. Later when Cruel and I became partners, I was not thrilled at some of the lessons I needed to learn. It was so hard to change from the "control freak" about my kids. It was so hard to not play the "mom card" whenever I "felt" it necessary which wasn't always truly when it was necessary. We've learned a lot of changes, compromises, lessons, over the years and some weren't even painful or driving us to the doors of therapy.

Communication. Consistency. Communication. Compromise. Communication.