Dating women with children, any thoughts?

[RadiantYearning]

Originally Posted by J. Mason

Oh yes I do. I have dated women with small children before it didn't work out too well due to the kid's father being in the picture. This particular woman I speak of now has 15 year old twin boys and I have never been up to par on what to do with teenagers.

I have three children ... they are 18, 15 and 5. I'm incredibly open with my children and I don't hide my affection for my partners from them because I refuse to give them a reason to ever feel ashamed of who their mother is or who I love. It kills me when people, especially parents, cry and complain about acceptance when they themselves aren't even proud enough of who they are to share all of their lives with their kids. I understand special circumstances and I don't pretend to always be right or understand every situation ... I only know that very often it's the parents themselves who plant the seeds of shame in their own kids.

That being said, kids, especially teenagers, can sniff out a phony faster than a bloodhound!! Everyone who said don't try to buy the kids couldn't have been more dead on. Sure, the kids will enjoy whatever it is you spoil them with but they will absolutely see right through you and the best you can hope for then will be polite manipulation. My best advice is to be genuine and take the time to get to know the kids. Spend time with them and let them know that you sincerely accept them as part of the package. Respect is indeed a two way street, especially with teenagers who are quickly approaching young adulthood. Respect that these boys are their mother's first priority in the world regardless of their age and know that the way you treat their mom will directly impact your relationship with them and thus your relationship with her! Also know that if you attempt to compete with them, you will lose so don't try ... there are so many different ways to love, strive to make the love between the two of you special while accepting that the love between a mother and her children is always paramount.