PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Andrew, Jr.]

For me, I know what hell is. There were many a times when I wanted to do the unthinkable. After being beaten by my father, or when he got me fired from my job, emptied my bank account, destroyed my car's engine after I paid for it, and the list goes on and on, after a while I went numb. It was like I wasn't even a human being. So I do know the feeling of being lost and worthlessness. Add onto that being called derrogatory names in school because I was slow, and failing. It still happens today. I am used to be calling retard or schizo. I shake my head. I will never understand. I can understand kids, but not adults. Again, that is just me and my perception.

Prayers helped then and now. That was all I had. Everyone who I could depend on, was too fearful to intervene. My father was/is mentally ill. That is about where I put it at.

Andrew