PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Lazy Daze]

What a great thread, and I don't know how I didn't see it until now

I have PTSD from a single event. I was severely beaten by a person I was in a relationship with and literally left for dead. I am coming up on my 12th year anniversary of surviving this event on Thanksgiving, and there is not a year that doesn't go by that I don't find myself in a"slump" during this holiday. I too have triggers, and with a lot of support and resources, I am able to identify Most of mine. As most of you feel, I am ashamed and feel an overly amount of guilt about what happened. No matter how much I "prepare" myself for the upcoming holiday and remind myself that it is the past, I still feel hopeless and helpless when the time arrives. As apocalipstic has endured, I too, will be broke out in hives before all is said and done.

I have become stronger with time. Having given myself a confidence booster with my profession, teaching myself that I truly am a strong woman. But one thing is for sure, it never will go away. I am blessed with an amazing partner who understands what I have been through and has given me the unconditional love and support to help me get stronger each and every day.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Lazy Daze

What a great thread, and I don't know how I didn't see it until now

I have PTSD from a single event. I was severely beaten by a person I was in a relationship with and literally left for dead. I am coming up on my 12th year anniversary of surviving this event on Thanksgiving, and there is not a year that doesn't go by that I don't find myself in a"slump" during this holiday. I too have triggers, and with a lot of support and resources, I am able to identify Most of mine. As most of you feel, I am ashamed and feel an overly amount of guilt about what happened. No matter how much I "prepare" myself for the upcoming holiday and remind myself that it is the past, I still feel hopeless and helpless when the time arrives. As apocalipstic has endured, I too, will be broke out in hives before all is said and done.

I have become stronger with time. Having given myself a confidence booster with my profession, teaching myself that I truly am a strong woman. But one thing is for sure, it never will go away. I am blessed with an amazing partner who understands what I have been through and has given me the unconditional love and support to help me get stronger each and every day.

Holidays are so hard. I will be thinking about you!

The hives are the worst, especially when they wont go away for days. Miserable and frightening!

I hope I never have them again. I hope nothing ever triggers me to that extent again, or you either!

[Apocalipstic]

So I went to therapy and while we agree I am doing incredibly better, we discussed triggers.

I have really been working on forgiveness and moving on with my life, but I get held up when I tell myself I have forgiven something and let it go, yet my body still reacts. I hate that. I hate that I don't have more control that I can't fiiiinally decide to let something go and it just be gone. You know?

My body still has PTSD and always will. Whatever my brain decides, my body reacts differently.

[Apocalipstic]

So in moving forward and getting better there are always glitches that bring everything back. Things that trigger and I am right back where I started. No, not as extreme...but jumpy and hyper vigilant.

I hate that.

[Morgan]

I am really not sure if it is PTSD, but after spending a year in Iraq I have noticed that loud noises make jump a lot more. Certain sounds or alarms cause me to become anxious and hyper vigialant. If anyone is sleeping next to me and touches me while I am trying to fall asleep, I will jump up and yell out. Unsure what has caused this, but I have had to warn people that I have been involved with what to expect, so that I do not scare them. I have learned to live with these feelings....and really have not shared very much about it.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Morgan

I am really not sure if it is PTSD, but after spending a year in Iraq I have noticed that loud noises make jump a lot more. Certain sounds or alarms cause me to become anxious and hyper vigialant. If anyone is sleeping next to me and touches me while I am trying to fall asleep, I will jump up and yell out. Unsure what has caused this, but I have had to warn people that I have been involved with what to expect, so that I do not scare them. I have learned to live with these feelings....and really have not shared very much about it.

Im not a doc...but in learning to survive in a war zone you picked up coping skills like beinh hyper vigilant....back home, at the grocery...not so good. Read up on PTsd

[ReDo]

Hi,

not ready to really open up honestly don't know if I ever will its just nice to know there are people who do understand though and thank you to those who can. At least I know I am not so alone.

ReDo

[Toughy]

Originally Posted by Morgan

I am really not sure if it is PTSD, but after spending a year in Iraq I have noticed that loud noises make jump a lot more. Certain sounds or alarms cause me to become anxious and hyper vigialant. If anyone is sleeping next to me and touches me while I am trying to fall asleep, I will jump up and yell out. Unsure what has caused this, but I have had to warn people that I have been involved with what to expect, so that I do not scare them. I have learned to live with these feelings....and really have not shared very much about it.

The VA has a number of programs for returning veterans from Iraq/Afghanistan. Please go to a VA and check out what is available to you. You live in SoCal and there are several VA Medical Centers down there.

Go to www.va.gov

As a vet I thank you for your service. Now go and take care of yourself. It's the most important thing you can do. PM me anytime and I will be glad to talk to you. There are several of us vets on this website and any of us are here to lend an ear anytime.

edited to add: you can also go to the Vet Center in your area for help in accessing services. Info is available at the va.gov website.