What every Femme should know...

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by JistMe

Someone out there was meant to be the love of your life... your best friend; your soul mate.
He'll brush the hair out of your eyes, and send you flowers when you least expect it.
He'll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $30 to see it.
He'll call you to tell you goodnight, or just because he is missing you.
He will call you right back when you hang up on him.
He'll lay with you under the stars listening to your heartbeat... or stay awake all night just to watch you sleep.
He'll kiss your forehead for no reason, and hold your hand in front of your Dad. He'll say you are just as beautiful without makeup on, and show you off to the world when you're in sweats.
He will constantly remind you how lucky he is to have you.
He'll look in your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, and for the first time in your life... you'll believe it.
You will know when you find him ---
He will be the one who turns to his friends, and says...
"Thats her..."

When I read this, what comes to mind is, why do I need someone else to treat me that way? How can I be loving, kind and attentive to myself? Why do I need a best friend and soul mate to be happy? How can I be my own best friend and soul mate? How can I feel beautiful just as I am? What makes me not feel that way? Not that I am femme or that I would partner with someone who is masculine lol. But I guess my point here is, why would I need a partner to mirror for me what I can be for myself? Is depending on a partner for that a healthy expectation? I think that partners are wonderful to have if you want to share your life with someone and build a strong bond of love and mutuality. But expecting a partner to mirror for me what really I am not already to myself - i.e., compassionate and accepting, it is unrealistic and won't work. Because if I don't believe I am wonderful and beautiful just as I am, no partner or anyone else will ever really convince me that I am. It has to come from me.

This is not to say that we shouldn't look for love and compassion and acceptance in a partner. Who we choose to have in our lives reflects how we feel about ourselves. I just think it's a myth that we can only be happy and feel loved when we have a partner who loves us. Don't wait for someone to come along and make you happy. Be happy with yourself here and now!